When Does the Pretending End?

Lucy’s Pov

“Really. You are just going to end it right now. Just like that” Josh says to me. “Why shouldn’t I? You said it yourself it was a stupid thing to do” I say. “I know. It’s just that. I don’t know what to say” he says. I reach for the wine bottle. “Maybe you should take it easy” he says.

“Well since I’m such a big liar like my mother. I might as well drink like her” I say. “Lucy” Elena says. “What. How am I different from her? I lied to the people closest to me just like her” I say. The just look at me. “I hate all this. I hate feeling like this. I hate lying to his family. I hate that I care about his family” I say.

“Oh Lucy” Elena says moving off the couch. Buzz. Buzz. “Who the hell is that?” Josh asks. “I’ll get it” I say. I need the break.

“Hello” I say into the intercom. “It’s me” a voice says. “So” I say. “I’ve come to talk to you” he says. Good for you. “I have company” I say. “Who is it?” Elena says behind me. “Who do you think?” I say. “Well leave him in” she says. “No” I say. “Why not” she says. “Because” I say. “Exactly. You can’t think of a reason” she says.

“What my lovely but very mad friend meant to say is come on up” she says into the intercom. “I don’t want to see him” I say. “Tough. We do. Plus I think you need to see him” she says. I shake my head and walk away when I hear steps outside. I don’t need him I think.

“Now Luce might not want to talk to you, but lucky for you your trip isn’t wasted because Josh and I do” Elena says taking a seat next to Josh. I can feel his eyes on me but don’t look up at him.
“So do you use people’s misfortune to get what you want often or was Lucy’s desperation an exception” Josh asks. Oh God this is going to be bad.

“Josh, don't be so mean” Elena says and I let out a laugh. Trust Elena to defend him. She’s probably thinking about how good he looks under his clothes.

“Don’t be shy. Lucy has told us everything” Elena says. “We just want to know what sort of guy our friend has been hanging around. Like who uses a desperate situation for their own good” Josh asks.
“A guy who is twice as bad as every single word you probably already thought I am and more” he says. You’re not that bad I think.

Look, the night Lucy came to my house” he says and I let out a shout. “Are you ok?” Josh asks. “Just spilled some wine. I already told them how your cousin came up with the idea that we should pretend to date. So no need to say the same thing again” I say. Was he really going to tell them how I nearly slept with him?

“Look I know all this helped my sister, but you two should have never done this” Josh says. “Couldn’t agree with you more” I say. I should have never done this.

“At least he’s better than Mark” Elena says. “Well the devil would be better than that piece of shit” Josh says.

Why do they bring up Mark? Elena laughs. “What’s so funny?” Josh asks her. “He plays for the devils” she says. He shakes his head. “Jezz you all need to lighten up” she says. “Some of us aren’t in the mood to lighten up, Elena” I say “Well maybe some people should relax and not be mad” Elena replies. I knew she thinks I’m over reacting.

My phone rings and I pick it up. “So your phone is working” Cristiano says. “Only to certain people” I say. “I’ll be back in a minute” I say to Elena. I know I just left them alone but I couldn’t care.

“You ok?” Josh asks as I start to wash the glass. “What do you think?” I say. “I think you should talk to him. You can tell he hates that he upset you” he says. I shrug. “Why he cares, I want to know” he says.

“Josh are you ready to go? I have a busy day tomorrow” Elena says. As Lucy and Josh swap places I think about what Josh meant. So what if Cristiano cares he upset me I think.

“Thanks for a lovely night” Elena smiles at me. “Very funny” I say. “Do me a favour. Don’t kill him. He’s kind of cute” she says. “I thought you are dating someone” I say. “And why would you care. I thought you didn’t like him” she says. I frown. “Just talk to him. You seem happy the last few weeks. And as much as you hate to admit it. He may be the reason” she says.

““That wasn’t so bad” Cristiano says when I come back into the room after showing Josh and Elena out. “Bad. Are you kidding me” I shout. “You know I was actually thinking that maybe I was just a little over reacting. But then you almost go and tell them that I was willing to sleep with you if you’d drop the charges against Tina. Are you always this thick” I shout.

“I’m sorry” he says. “I know you are. And I’m sorry I ever did this. I’m sorry I have lied to everybody. I’m sorry my best friend is in rehab because I didn’t see she needed help. I’m sorry I’m turning into my mother” I say.

“Lucy. You are nothing like your mother. Don’t be mad at yourself. Be mad at me for making you lie. Please don’t be mad at yourself” he says coming closer to me. “Don’t” I say holding my hand up so he won’t come any closer. I can’t have him that close.

“Your mother lied to protect herself. Her lies are totally different to yours. She only ever thought about herself. I’’ve seen how much all this has hurt you. And I’m sorry. Be mad at me just don’t hate me” he says.

“I can’t do this anymore” I say holding my hands in my head. “You and me. Or talking” he asks.

“Both I guess” I say and I walk past him.

“Here” I say throwing a pillow and blanket onto the couch. “It’s late. You can sleep here” I say. “Thanks” he mutters.

I’m so tired of everything I think.