When Does the Pretending End?

Lucy’s Pov

As I turn in the bed, I notice it’s empty next to me. I rub my eyes and look at the clock. 1.15 it reads. I turn on the light to see the room but only find Marcosa asleep on the couch. Where is Cris? I feel all warm and comfy in the bed but when I feel the cold sheets on Cristiano’s side of the bed, I throw the covers back.

I check the bathroom and closest but he isn’t there. Where the hell is he at this time of the night? His phone and wallet are on the bedside table. I grab one of his sweatshirts off the couch and Marcosa jumps off the couch. “Want to see where your owner is?” I ask the dog and he moves to the door.

The house seems so quite right now as I descend the stairs. When Rodrigo and Katia arrived earlier in the evening, everyone was in such a good mood. Although Cris didn’t take talk that much during dinner. Then again he was busy eating the spaghetti to talk. Hugo seemed to enjoy hearing his own voice. I don’t understand him sometimes. He can nice to me one minute then the next he’s trying to pick a fight with Cris.

I look around the empty kitchen and living room. I think back to when Cris and I were on the couch. I can’t believe we had a tickle fight at our age. I smile. He had looked so pleased with himself as he tried to get the remote off me. Even more pleased when he had his hands under my top.

“Where is he?” I mumble as I take in the empty movie room. Marcosa walks off and I follow him. Cris’s mood change when Elma and Hugo walked in on us on the couch. I don’t know why Hugo called Cris selfish.

I notice Marcosa stop outside the gym door. He’s never working out at the this time I think as I push the door open. I see Cris lifting weights. His grey sleeveless top tight on his abs.

He looks up when Marcosa appears at his feet. “What are you doing up?” he asks placing the weights down on the ground. “I got cold” I say. He stares at me. “It’s late. What are you doing here?” I ask. He shrugs. I could tell something was bothering him, “Let’s go back to bed” I say holding out my hand to him. He takes it and stands. We don’t say a word to each other as we climb the stairs.

When we get back to his room I throw the sweatshirt off and make my way towards the bed. “Where are you going?” I ask as he walks to the bathroom taking of his shirt to reveal his abs. “Shower” he says. “Don’t. Just come to bed” I say. “But I’m all sweaty” he says.
And he still managed to look good like that I think biting my lip. “Just change your shorts and wear another shirt” I say. He nods.

We lay on our backs looking up at the ceiling. “So are you going to tell me what has you working out in the middle of the night or are we going to lay in silence” I ask. He says nothing. “Silence it is so” I say. “It’s just” he says but stops. “Go on. You can tell me” I say.

“This week. I guess I’ve realized what this week is going to be about. All the talk about Pai. Hugo. Everything” he says.

“What is up with Hugo and you?” I ask. “Apart from being himself” he says. “Well apart from that” I say. “Normally we get on brilliantly. I mean I idolised him growing up. You know” he says. “Ya i get it. He was you great gig brother” I say. “Oh Lucy. I didn’t think. Lacey” he says. “It’s ok. Continue please” I say.

“I hated seeing him going through his bad times with the drugs. You know. Well of course you know. When Papi died everything changed so much and went so wrong” he says. “How so?” I ask. I didn’t want to push him but like he had told me sometimes its good to get things off your chest.

“When everybody was here for the anniversary, Hugo and I got into a fight” he says. Papi was sick for a while before he died. We all tried to get him to stop drinking but the damage was already done by the time he stopped” he says and takes a deep breath. “I was on international duty when he died. When I last saw him he was sick in bed but in a good mood. He was telling me things ton improve my game” he says with a sad smile. “The night before the game someone, I can’t remember who told me he had died. I had only just spoken to him on the phone a few hours earlier” he says.

Wow.

“It must have been a shock” I say knowing I was clearly stating the obvious. “Ya it was. But” he says. “But” I say. “But I still played the game the following night” he says. “That must have be a hard thing to do” I say. “I didn’t have to. I choose to. Máe told me I should. I still don’t know how I managed to get through it” he says rubbing his head. I gently run my finger over his arm.

“Anyway at the anniversary Hugo told me that I was selfish. He just came out and said it. Like the day wasn’t hard enough. He just says that to me. He told me that I should have been with Papi when he died. With them afterwards. Said that I always think of myself” he says. I stare at him. Letting his words flow through my brain. “That’s what all the selfish comments are about” I say.

“ I guess. Maybe he’s right” he says.

I sit up and kneel beside him. “Now you listen to me Cristiano Ronaldo. From what I heard your Papi he supported your career. He loved you playing football. Dolores told me how proud he was when you scored your first goal for your country. It was not selfish of you to play the game. In fact I think playing that game meant you were honouring your father. He helped you get onto that pitch. You were part of him” I say. What he must be going through?

“I don’t know. What Hugo said” he says. “Look Hugo is just being a jerk” I say and he looks up at me. “Well he is. A jealous on at that” I say. “I doubt that” he says. “He probably hates that his younger brother is more successful, handsome, charming and talented that he is” I say. “Maybe your right” he says. “Of course I am. When am’t i?” I say and he lets out a small laugh.

“I can’t wait for this week to be over” he says. “I know” I say and I lay my head on his chest. “I’m glad you are here” he says as his fingers run through my hair. “ Me too” I say.

“Really” he says. “Well someone has to make sure that you don’t hit Hugo. Your mother wouldn’t like that. Although I don’t know who stop me” I say. He laughs. “I’m not joking” I say. “I know. I must remember to keep all pillows away from you” he says. “Not all of them” I say moving my hand over his abs. “No not all of them” he says.

“So you think I’m handsome” he says. I look up at him. “Seriously everything I said and that’s all you heard” I say turning over. “I heard and though about every word “ he says.

"Charming huh” he says wrapping an arm around my waist. “More than your brother anyways. Now go to sleep” I say.

I feel his hands move down my stomach. Down over my thigh before resting on my bended knee.

“What are you doing?” I ask. “You said you were cold. Just keeping you warm” he says kissing my neck. I smile.

“Noite Cris” I say.