Seize the Day

(Zacky's POV)

A couple weeks after the whole meeting ordeal, Larry insisted that for the sake of my sanity and for the band that I try and do my best to get along with Autumn. "Look I know you're still caught up with what happened to Marigold, Zack but that doesn't mean that you can't at least give the poor girl a try." I groaned in protest but decided to agree to it anyways for the sake of my band. I dug around my closet looking for my many suitcases until I stumbled upon a shoebox full of papers that proceeded to fall onto the ground and scatter everywhere. I found a couple of notes that Marigold had wrote me in 8th grade. Tears started to swell up in my eyes as I read through them one by one. I missed her so fucking much.

"Zacky, there's someone here to see you!" I heard my brother yell from downstairs. I quickly wiped my eyes before putting everything back insisde the box and hiding it away from plain view. I headed down to see who it was but stopped at the last stair when I finally saw who was standing at my front door. It was Autumn. "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked while looking at her with an eyebrow raised. She huffed, rolling her eyes. She had a tendency to do that a lot with me. "Larry told me to TRY and be nice with you so here I am." She said matter-of-factly with a very sarcastic smirk on her face. I swore to God I was going to kill Larry the next time I went over to his office. I scooted aside and motioned for her to come in whether I liked it or not.

"Your house is nice." She said bluntly, looking around at the walls and many pictures that hung on them. I shrugged before handing her a bottle of water. "Thanks I guess. So what exactly do you expect to do? I mean how did you even come across the job to be on our merch team?" I asked curiously as we sat down in my living room. She scratched the back of her neck and took a sip of her water. "Honestly I was going around to different labels asking if they had an opening for my sort of work and they reffered me to you guys. Obviously I was going to say yes, Avenged is my favorite band." I looked at her with a shit eating grin, seeing her facial expression change instantly. "Uh I mean I've heard of you guys but I just really needed a job." She lied right through her teeth and I could see it. "Come on don't be embarrassed, it's ok I know I must be your favorite that's why you came here first." She laughed loudly, shaking her head. "Please! I told you, I don't deal with cocky asses like yourself." It was my turn to roll my eyes now.

"Whatever you say dollface. But just so you know, I'm not cocky I'm just myself." She took another sip from her water bottle before standing up from the spot beside me and gathering her stuff. "Yeah well I gotta go, I made the mistake of trying to be nice to you. See you in two months." She said as she tried to walk out the front door. On instinct I pulled her back inside. "Excuse you." She snapped, looking at me with a slight glare. "Look I'm sorry ok, I don't mean to upset you. But if you want I'll leave you alone until June. After that though, you're free game." I noticed a small smile tug at her lips as she nodded her head. "Sure, sounds good." She agreed before heading out of the front door and off to wherever it was she was headed next.

I decided to call Jimmy and ask for some very much needed advice about this. I know it had been a long time since I've been around any other girl besides Marigold, the gang and Gena but I needed help. I guess everyone was right, I can't stay locked away all of the time. "What did you do now?" He joked, laughing lightly. I sighed. Where do I begin? "I was just being a smartass to her after she tried to come and speak her peace to me. I didn't mean to be such a prick but fuck Jim I just don't know how to be around people anymore. It's like I've become a whole new person since Mari's death." Jimmy stayed silent for a moment before answering. I pretty much had answered my own question. "You answered it for yourself. Just try to get this shit together before the tour comes around because our fans depend on it dude. Maybe go and see little Z for a while and cool off. I'll talk to you later, I'm going to go take Lenny to the beach." He was right, I probably would feel better after I went and spent some time with my son.

I got over to Gena's house in less then twenty minutes. She was sitting outside on the grass watching Zacky jr. play with his blocks. I walked up and sat beside her. "Hey you, he was just asking for you." She smiled sweetly. I turned and held my arms out open wide for him. "Hey buddy, come here!" He squealed excitedly as he ran towards me before he fell directly in my arms. I hugged him tightly, seeing a large grin spread across his face. I was going to miss this kid while I was away. "So you guys are leaving soon, how are you holding up?" Gena asked while I tickled our sons tummy, making him giggle loudly. "Honestly I'm fucking confused. I don't know how to handle meeting people anymore. I'm lost." I admitted, seeing Gena's eyebrows furrow slightly. She put a hand to my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You're going to be fine, Zacky. You can get through this trust me. I know it's been hard for you since Mari passed away but believe me, I know you can do this." I smiled up at her before kissing her cheek softly. "You're such a good person, he's lucky to have you as a mom." She blushed some but smacked my arm playfully. "And he's super lucky to have you as a dad. You're a rockstar, you're his hero. He idolizes you."

I smiled at her before looking down at my son. His green eyes just looked right into mine, making a tear fall from my face. I knew I had no other choice, I was going to have to learn to deal with this and to let people in no matter what.