Afire Love

Tyler:

Nicole has had a tough time these past few days. I think she is starting to realize Nathan really sin't doing better. She hasn't gone to the hospital since she was there with Jamie. I've brought her to my last few home games and I've even had her come to practice with me to try and get her mind off of Nathan, but nothing is really helping. Today I had off and so I stayed home with Nicole, she wasn't really saying much. We were sitting watching tv and the phone rang. "I'll grab it Ty." She walked over to the phone and I could hear who was on the other line, it was Nathan's friends. "Hey, Nicole? We heard Nate was in a bad crash. Is he okay? Can we see him?" "I'm sorry, but um, he isn't." She looked over at me and sighed. "I'm sorry but Nathan is dead." She hung up the phone and quickly went into her room. I got up and went after her.

"Nicole? What's wrong?" She walked out with her jacket in hand and grabbed her keys. "Where are you going?" I grabbed my coat and keys then ran after her. By the time I got downstairs she was already pulling out. I quickly got in my car and followed her. She drove straight to the hospital and I followed her inside. I got to Nate's room and she was standing there crying. She turned and looked at me with tears falling from her eyes. "He's dead. He is dead. He's been dead this entire time and I, I wouldn't listen to anyone." I took a step toward her. "Talk to me Nicole, I can help you." "How? How are you gonna help me Ty?" She pushed past me and went to find a doctor.

Nicole:

"Ms. Gilbert, how can I help you?" "He's dead." "What?" "My brother is dead, he's been dead for the past 2 weeks, I didn't want to believe it but he is. Take his off the machines, take him off everything." "Ms. Gilbert, we don't know that he is for sure dead, he could still be alive, he just might not function like he used to." "Look, that boy in there isn't my brother, okay? Just please, take him off the machines." "Okay. Um, and what would you like us to do with the body?" "Burn it, bury it, I don't know, just please take him off those damn machines. " "Of course, well shall we give you his ashes?" "That's fine." "We will let you know when we will have the ashes available for you to pick them up then. I'm sorry that you lost your brother this way. I know how hard this has been for you." I wiped the tears from my face then faked a smile. "Thank you doctor, for everything." I turned and saw Tyler standing there and couldn't help but cry. He ran over and hugged me with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, babe I'm so sorry. Please don't blame yourself okay? I love you so much." He kissed my head and we walked out to our cars. He walked me to my car and sat with me until I was ready to drive home. "You okay?" "No, but I have to be." I wiped my tears and looked up at him. "Why didn't I listen? Why didn't I believe you, and Jamie, and everyone." Tyler shook his head. "No, babe stop. Look, don't be upset about that, you wanted him to wake up, we all did. You had faith that he would wake up, there is nothing wrong with that. We all wanted you to be able to say 'I told you so'. There is nothing to be upset about, you did nothing wrong." He kissed me and wiped my remaining tears. "Okay well let's head home, I've spent enough time at this hospital." We both laughed and then drove home.

(A week later)

I got the call from the hospital that Nathan's ashes were available for me to pick up. I didn't want to go back to that hospital, but I have to. I got his ashes and came home and Tyler had gotten back from practice. "Hey babe, is that the ashes?" He gave me a sincere look. "Yeah." He came over and gave me a hug and a kiss and went to change. I sat there staring at the vase of my brother's ashes. I was trying to figure out what the hell I would do with them. "So babe what do you want to do about dinner?" "Can we go home?" Tyler looked at me confused. "What?" "Let's go to Brampton, like now. You're on break for a little while. Why not?" "Um, Nicole I mean, it's kind of out of nowhere. why do you want to go home?" "Look I need to do something with these ashes, I can't keep them here. And I haven't been to that house in awhile. Maybe it's time I go back." "I mean, if that's really what you want to do then, I guess we can go. Get your stuff packed and we can leave tonight." I jumped up and gave Tyler a kiss. "Thank you babe, I love you." I ran to pack a few things, then we ate dinner and were ready to leave.

Tyler:

Nicole wanting to go home shocked me, but if she is ready to face this and finally go back to her house, then I'm here to support her. We got in early this morning and stayed at a friends house. I didn't want to stay with my parents cause I knew Nicole really didn't want to be here long and my parents would want us to stay for a week.

We hung out with some friends for most of the day and then headed to Nicole's house that night. We got there and she could hardly walk up the driveway. "Nicole, if you're not ready, it's okay." "No, it's fine. Let's just got inside." She unlocked the door and we went in. There was nothing in the fridge, there hadn't been for 4 years, nothing in the cabinets. Hardly any mail was in the mailbox. It's truly like the house was abandoned. Nicole was walking around looking at all the family pictures on the walls. "I remember this like it was yesterday. My first day of high school." I rubbed her shoulders and kissed her head. "I miss them." "Me too." Nicole walked around the house and found a picture of her and Nathan. Her smile faded and she quickly threw the photo to the floor. "Nicole what the hell?" "We won't be needing these pictures anymore." She quickly smashed every picture she could find. "Nicole stop!" She walked over to her dads liquor cabinet. "Dad won't needing this anymore, he's not here to drink any of it." She poured out some of them bottles but then just smashed them all. "Nicole I'm kidding this isn't funny." She grabbed the vase with Nathan's ashes. "Why keep these, it's just gonna remind me of how my family left me." I ran across the room to try and stop her but she threw down the vase and it shattered as the ashes scattered everywhere. "Nicole stop it!" She quickly pushed past me, tears forming in her eyes, going into the kitchen. She was opening all the cabinets. "Need help looking for something?" "No, found it." She pulled out a container of lighter fluid and started coating the counter with it. "What are you doing!"

"Look, people are gonna wonder what happened to him, they are gonna wanna know what's up. So we need a cover story." She continued into the living room, covering anything she could with the fluid. "I mean what are we gonna say, animal attack, a fall down the stairs, a drunken car crash? No, we burn the house down with his ashes inside of it." "Nicole stop it!" I stepped toward her and she threw up her arms. " "Why? Because you want me to face the truth? This is the truth Tyler. I don't want to come back here anymore. I don't need this tv." She pushed the tv off of the stand. "I don't need these video games. Don't need these books or magazines, nobody is around to read them. I mean unless you can figured out how to bring back my mom, dad, and my brother." She stared at me and I just looked down. "Yeah I thought not. But I know you wouldn't want to bring Nathan back if you could. to be honest I'm not sure if I would bring him back either, after all of the shit he's put me through. I mean, does that make me a bad person I don't know, I don't know anymore." "Nicole stop it you're freaking me out!" "What the hell am I supposed to do Tyler? I mean, I can't let anyone know I failed my parents and Nathan died on my watch!" Nicole grabbed a match from the top of the fireplace and lit it. "Nicole, Nicole stop." "There nothing here for me anymore Tyler! Every inch of this house, is filled with memories of the people that I love that have died. My mom, my dad, Nathan. They're all dead! Everyone is dead! What am i supposed to, how am I gonna, I can't even, there's nothing left for me anymore. Ah!" The match had burned down and burnt Nicole. I caught the match before it hit the floor and lit the house up. "Nicole, I need you to calm down." "No, no no no I can't!" She fell to the floor and started bawling. "It hurts. It hurts, make it stop please make it stop. It hurts Ty." I knelt down in front of her and held her tight. "Nicole, you have to let me help you. Look, we can just leave now, and we never have to come back. We can forget about burning the house down and just go back to Dallas, it will all be okay. Okay?" She looked up at me and wiped her tears. I stood up and she slowly did too. "Let's go." I turned and started walking toward the door, but stopped as I heard Nicole light another match. "Nicole, don't do this. We can find another cover story." She wiped her tears and looked at the match. "This is the best thing to do Ty. No one will ask questions." I took one small step toward her with a pleading look. "Look if you burn down the house, it will be gone. What if one day, when this is all over, you want to come home again?"

Nicole stopped and looked around the house, then back at me. "I won't." She dropped the match and I quickly grabbed her and rushed her out of the house. We got in the car and drove away as the house began to go up in flames and we heard firetrucks in the distance. Nicole grabbed my hand and I looked over at her. "It was the best thing Ty." I looked back in the rear view mirror. "I hope so." I kissed her hand and we began the drive back home to Dallas.