Oblivion

Hi guys, so before I start I just want to say that I've literally stayed up all night an driven myself to exhaustion by writing this all tonight, so I'd appreciate very much if you'd vote for this story! If you do, thank you very much, I love you guys a whole bunch.

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Kellin's POV

"Jenna, answer the phone please. I have good news for you and I know you're there." I said hastily. I'm very impatient sometimes. Still, no response. "Listen, I know you're pissed because I yet again, ignored your message saying I need to see a doctor. But I did now and I'm going to therapy Tuesdays and Thursdays to get things straightened out. So just please pick up the phone and let's try to be civil." I heard a thud and then Jenna's voice. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank god you got help Kellin! I'm sorry I've ignored you, it just pissed me off that you wouldn't see a doctor. I didn't want you to do shit you didn't want to, but I'm so glad you did because it's for the best. I'm tired of worrying about you Kellin. It's not that I don't wanna be friends anymore, it's just I-I"

"What?" I said sharply "A-Are you like, ditching me or something? After I did the stuff you wanted me to do? Jenna I did that stuff just for your satisfaction alright?" There was silence on the other end of the line.

"I-I'm sorry Kellin, I can't deal with the continual stress of worrying about you and the way you treat me sometimes. It's not my problem that you have some issues right now. I don't want to not be friends, but I think we need some time...you now, to ourselves. Don't be solitary Kells, you'll do fine without me. When the therapist or doctor tells you, or realize by chance, that you're straightened out, give me a call."

"Jenna, please do-" The phone beeped, reminding me that she'd ended the call.

Well fuck, what was I supposed to do now? I just lost my best friend, literally. I don't understand though, I did everything she'd ask me to do. I went to the doctors, I'm taking therapy, I'm fine. Or at least I think I am. Jenna had for once in my life made me question my sanity. This feeling, whatever it was, was shitty and I didn't like it one bit.

---

Dinner was horrible, not just for me, but for everyone. My sister is still back home, so we ate whatever she wanted, which was steak. My step father burned my steak and the whole time at the table, it was just chatter about how proud they were of her, getting her degree in medicine and all. They didn't give a damn about me at the moment. But hey, sometimes you gotta share the lime light, right? Wrong. I'm never in the lime light. Not saying I want to, but I just wish for once, I was noticed, not skipped over by the common eye. But, I was proud of my sister, so guess it's fine.

After we all ate our slightly burned steaks, I decided it was time I talked for once. I honestly couldn't have picked a worse time, but I felt alone and part of me believed maybe my mom would understand me. I was notorious for these things.

"Hey, I gotta tell you guys something," I said. After I put my dishes in the dishwasher. I sat down at the table. Soon, the rest of the family joined. "Okay so this isn't easy at all, so I just want you guys to listen." Everyone nodded, and I turned to my dad, who was staring back at me. He knew what was happening. I sighed.

"Three years ago, I quit worrying about my girlfriend and didn't care much about any girls actually, except for one. My friend Jenna and I became super close, for no reason really other than this one. Two and a half years ago, when my friend Austin moved into town, I kind of hid something from you guys. I feel like shit for doing it, but I knew you guys would just haggle with me and probably hate me." My mom looked weary, probably by my "vulgar" language. "Anyways, two and half years ago, one night you guys went out to eat and Austin came over to play video games. Our bond was growing stronger and...I started feeling something different for him. I stopped the game to talk to him, but instead I kissed him and, and he kissed back. We started dating afterwards clear until he left for college. I told you Katelynn and I broke up because we'd been fighting, but the real reason was, because I realized I was ga-"

"Don't say another word Kellin!" My mom said standing up. He face was red with fury. My dad calmed her down a little. "No, no my son...My son I raised up is not..." She could barely stand to say the word gay. She hated it so much. My sister sat quietly in the back, looking down.

"My son that I raised learning about our savior Jesus Christ is not gay!" She practically yelled. "Are you joking son? Is this one of your sick jokes?" I shook my head slowly. I've never seen her in such a mess. She walked up to me, jerking from my step fathers grip. Fury was written on her face, but even more so, disappointment. After a few seconds, I quit making eye contact and that's when it hit me, literally.

My mothers hand smacked my cheek hard and fast. It stung like hell. I looked at her, shocked she would slap her own kid. She had a look of remorse for a moment, but then it was gone and she looked almost happy she did. Maybe she thinks she knocked some sense into me. But she didn't, I'm still gay as ever.

"I...I don't know what say. I'm gay mom, I'm not changing for you." I said bluntly. I didn't care what she thought anymore. One slap across the face did it for me. I was done with her. She looked even more pissed and finally yelled out to me.

"Get out! Get out of my house! You're not welcome here anymore Kellin...Go stay with your friends or find a new home. I can't live with someone who's breaking the rules of the lord, this isn't okay. You're not okay. You make me sick now Kellin, how could you...how could betray us like this!" She was crying and pushed the chair over. "Go, go now. When I open my eyes you can't be here, just leave!" She covered her face with the palms of her hands. I looked at my dad and then my sister. They were both remorseful but there was nothing to do. I walked out of the room hurriedly and headed to my room. In the closet was my suitcase, which I pulled out and started to pack. My sister knocked and came in a few seconds later.

"You okay?" She said sitting down on the bed.

"Oh, peachy," I said sarcastically.

"You know, I don't hate you...You could always come stay with me until you get on your feet."

"I'm twenty-one Kailey, I'll be fine." That was a lie. I wasn't going to be fine. She sighed.

"Alright...Are you leaving now?" I nodded. She shook her head and walked over and started unpacking my things.

"Kailey, what the hell are you doing? Stop!"

"You can leave if you want, but leave tomorrow please. I couldn't stand to let you leave so late." It was already close to seven. I sighed and quit fighting her over packing.

"Fine," I said with a scoff.

"Thank you," she said. She kissed my cheek and left the room. Now, I was alone. What to do, what to do? I know! Pack. Nobody was stopping me, I was leaving tonight, whether my sister liked it or not. I didn't want to be in the same household as my unloving mother. Now that she knew I was gay, I meant shit to her.

I threw my unfolded clothes back into the suitcase and zipped it up. I didn't need to be organized at the moment. For now, I guess I'll camp out and head out tomorrow. Get a job, continue my life. Sounds easy, but I know it really isn't that simple. A tear fell from my eye.

Suck it up Kellin, you'll be fine. But things weren't fine and I began to panic. Quickly, I grabbed the suitcase and opened the window. With a loud thud, I threw the suitcase out the window and jumped out as well. I didn't want to confront my family like this, I was a wreck.

Now, the tricky part...Where was I going to live? Not with Jenna, we aren't "friends" anymore. Not my sister, I don't want to leave the state quite yet. So that left, one of my band members houses....Or Mr. Fuentes.

Did I ever mention I was in a band? Well, I am, we're called Sleeping With Sirens. I joined last year and it's been a blast. I sing, Justin plays guitar, Jack plays bass, and Gabe plays the drums. We aren't very popular of course, but that doesn't really stop is. We do it for fun, not fame.

But anyways, back on track, Jack and Gabe probably won't have room in their apartments, but maybe Justin. The only down side was he lives kind of far from here. Like, three or four neighborhoods away. On foot it'd take me at least two hours. No way did I want to walk that far.

I picked up my suitcase and headed towards the park. They had benches there, so it'd do for tonight. I'd go to Justin's tomorrow probably.

When I arrived at the park, I sat down on the bench. It was going on nine, so I decided I should just go to sleep. Kailey would probably be here in the break of dawn looking for me, so I'd have to get away quickly.

Two hours in, while I was sound asleep, of course there was a loud clap of thunder. I opened my eyes, frightened because I didn't know what it was. I sat up and stretched, then opened my suitcase and got a sleeping bag. I covered myself with it and laid back down. About ten minutes later, it began to sprinkle. Then rain. Then pour.

When I popped my head up from under the bag, I got drenched in a moment. Hurriedly, I Put all my items back in the bag and headed out. I had to go to Mr. Fuentes, it was my only hope now. Due to driving there for the past week, I know where his house is, so I headed to it. It's two a.m, hopefully he won't mind me.

When I got to Mr. Fuentes house, I went up the porch steps and sat down. I was nervous to knock because I barely know him and I thought it'd be awkward. I eventually braced myself and knocked my fist onto the door. There was some noise upstairs that I heard, possibly someone stirred. Pretty soon, I heard foot steps and then the door unlatching. When the door opened, there stood the one and only, Mr. Fuentes. He was wearing a t-shirt and boxers, which was fine, it didn't bother me. He obviously just got out of bed.

"Kellin?" He said when his eyes focused on me.

"Hi, I uh, can I come in?" I looked down and waited until he nodded and opened the door some more.

We went inside and I sat down on the couch. If I wanted to stay, I had to tell him why.

"Can I stay here tonight?" I said as casual as possible.

"Uh...sure, but why do you need to?"

"I told my mom I was gay...she kicked me out. I have no one to stay with tonight, so I thought I could stay here. Sorry if I'm being a burden, I'll be out in the morning." I said politely. I didn't want to be rude right now, I needed to stay here.

"What about your friend Jenna?" He asked curiously.

"I talked to her....She's not angry, but she just doesn't want to be close friends until my problems have been fixed." I said hesitantly, I was telling him more than I wanted to.

He sat down across from me and lightly put his hand on my calf. I shivered. "I'm sorry Kellin..." I shook my head and looked back down at his hand. When he saw me looking, he pulled away hastily.

"Sorry, sorry...I always try to comfort people, sometimes it rubs off the wrong way."

"It's fine," I said to lighten the mood. He looked relieved.

"Alright well you can crash here tonight, if you need anything I'm the room upstairs down the hall on the right. Jaime is on the left." Jaime? He lived here?

"Okay," I said and thanked him profusely, he was being so nice to me.

That night, I laid on Mr. Fuentes couch and didn't sleep, I just thought. I would head to Justin's tomorrow and crash with him. I'd get a job somewhere and save my money up.

So after laying on a couch, exhausted but unable to sleep, the clock hit eight and there was footsteps in the hall. I sat up and waited. Pretty soon, Vic and Jaime appeared. Jaime smiled and said hello, then headed into the kitchen. Vic sat down.

"Why are you up so early?" I said, folding my blanket up.

"We get up at eight everyday, Jaime has class at nine and I have an appointment at ten."

"Oh," I said casually. "Well I'll be outta here by then," I continued, putting the blanket back in my bag.

"No rush, take it easy." He said with a grin.

"Can I ask you a question Mr. Fuentes?"

"Sure, and you can call me Vic if you want." I nodded.

"Okay, Vic, why are you being so nice to me?" He had a questionable look on his face, but quickly answered.

"Because I care for my patients, plus I'm just nice." I smiled.

"Yeah, you're lucky." I scoffed.

"What do you mean?"

"You have your own place, friends, a job that pays...You're nice, you're lucky," I said with a shrug. He looked around.

"I'm really not lucky, my parents don't like me because I'm gay and different from them. My brother, Mike, lives far away so I rarely see him anymore. I'm lucky on my own, but my family relationship right now...It's a mess." He said and then sighed. I felt bad, once again. Speaking before I think.

"Sorry," I said, scratching behind my ear where my tattoo was. Everyone in the band had a W with a slash through it behind our right ear.

"No worries, want breakfast?" I nodded. I felt like a burden, but I was honestly starving.

When we got into the kitchen, Jaime had made eggs, sunny side up, for all of us.

"Thank you," Vic and I said in sync. I smiled a little. I felt welcome here, for once in my life.

The eggs were excellent as I expected they would be. I'm usually turning my nose up at eggs, but I didn't want to be rude, plus they're delicious. When I finished, I put my plate in the sink. Jaime headed out for class, so that left Vic and I. After he finished his eggs, we went back to the living room.

"Well.." I said, putting my stuff up. "I better...ya know, head out."

"Where are you going to stay?" He asked, curious obviously. Here he was being nosy, again.

"My band member Justin's, he lives a few towns to the East of here." I slung my bag over my shoulder, then gripped my suitcase.

He seemed shocked that I said that. "A few towns? That's too far on foot." I shook my hand at him.

"Nah, it's fine."

"No, I insist...Let me drive you." Would he really offer such a thing?

"You have an appointment though," He looked at the clock. It was just a little past nine.

"It's a short one, just wait for a couple hours." He was seriously being generous. I finally sat back down and nodded.

"Okay, I guess." He smiled, almost proudly, then left the room. Pretty soon he came back and sat down across from me. We talked a long time about our lives and how we want to be when we're older. I found out Vic and I actually both want to travel as a singer. The only difference is that I'm in a band, and he's not. I thought it was strange, I mean who would think and therapist would want to be a rocker. We like the same genre of music and everything. Of course, this was at random, but I felt like something here was meant to happen. I really liked this guy, he was really nice and cool. In his own way I guess.

When the clock struck ten, he told me there was a gaming room upstairs and I could hang out up there if I wanted. I kindly accepted the offer and went upstairs. There was a Xbox, TV, and a mini fridge. This was literally, so cool. I scoped out the games he had and ended up picking one of my favorite games, GTA 5. When I had my controller and the console started up, I started to play. I'm usually pretty random when it comes to this game. I mean, I do what I want.

So after a few car wrecks, smuggling prostitutes and what not, Vic knocked on the door.

"Ready to go?" He said with a sly smiled. I nodded and shut the Xbox off. Then, I grabbed my bag and suitcase and headed out.

---

The car ride wasn't as awkward as I thought it might have been. We played music and talked the whole time. About a half hour, we reached Justin's house. I opened the door and got out, taking my stuff with me. I started up the drive, but I stopped and turned around to Vic's car, He was still there. I walked back and tapped on the glass. He rolled the window down.

"Hey Vic?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you...so much," I said, blushing a little. I usually don't thank people like this, but he was the only one that made me feel like I was worth something anymore. I started up the drive again and went inside.

---

"So...how long do you need to stay here?"Justin asked.

"Uh...Till I have enough money for rent in my own apartment...If that's okay." He nodded.

"Nah, it's fine...stay as long as you want. You've been here a lot, I doubt you need a tour?" He said it more as a statement, rather than a question. I went along with it.

"Yeah...it's fine." He smiled and went into the living room. It was a fairly nice house, but it was messy. I'm actually a pretty organized person, so it was driving me nuts at the moment. I guess that fit into the category of OCD, but whatever. I didn't want to think about it. The more I thought about my "problem" the more I thought about Vic, which wasn't a good thing at all.

I like Vic, but I'm afraid I'm starting to like him a little...too much. He's nice, sweet, and caring for me. It's kind of hard not to picture something with him. When I first saw him, I thought he was just a hot, stern guy that tried to fix people's lives, but now I see he's so much more than that. He's a genuinely nice and giving person who actually gives a shit. It's like the world is going one way, but he's going another. I see now I don't think he's just hot, in a way I admire him and even...I don't know, look up to him? No, that's not the word. I envy him, in a good way. I find myself getting happier each time I get to go to therapy, even though it's only been a couple weeks. He's bonded with me, and I don't want to damage that bond by being in an intimate relationship with him. But...in a way, I wanted more.

---

After a few days of staying with Justin, I had to start cleaning. I started in the kitchen, because it was the messiest. Justin has a part time job at Hot Topic, so I was alone. I turned on some music and started cleaning.

To begin, I needed to do the dishes, so they were out of the way. Justin had literally put all his dishes everywhere but the sink or dishwasher. I went around the house and picked up all the random utensils from bowls and plates to silverware and put them in the dishwasher. It was going to take two loads. I started the first and put the rest of the dishes in the sink for now. Then, I scrubbed the counters covered with filthy muck, probably from food left on the counter for so long. It's a surprise there isn't any cockroaches here yet.

Next, I moved to the other counter and repeated the same things. When the dishwasher dinged telling me the load was done, I headed to the cupboards. Of course, they were a mess too. I organized different piles and then put the clean dishes inside. I then loaded the dish washer with the second load and cleaned the sink. Two hours had passed and I wasn't even bored or tired yet, so I kept going.

The refrigerator was a living nightmare, literally. It was filled with expired items and mold in some of it. I disposed the expired shit in it's own trash bag. Lovely. I then made a shopping list so he'd get decent food. Justin was sick not too long ago, and now I can guess why.

The second load finished, so I unloaded it and organized the silverware drawer. There was cobwebs in basically all the cupboards, so I dusted and organized the items inside. Or threw the things way if they weren't worth anything. Hell, I found a sock in the drawer holding all the cooking utensils.

Eventually, I managed to get the kitchen clean, including the floors and everything, before Justin got home. When he saw the clean kitchen, he looked a little confused.

"It needed a clean up," I said with a wide smile. He smiled also.

"Thank you, I really appreciate, how can I repay you?" I shook my head.

"You're in my band, that's good enough." He nodded.

Honestly, I wished this was a job I'd get payed for. If it was, I'd be rich. But obviously, this wasn't paying, I needed a real job. And that's what I'll hopefully find.

"Hey Justin?" I said walking into the living room, plopping myself down on the couch.

"What?" He replied.

"Any open jobs at Hot Topic?" I asked, curious. I think that'd be a good place for me to work. I mean, I buy most of my stuff from them anyways.

"Unfortuantely, no. If anything opens up I'll tell you though." He smiled, but I didn't feel any better. If I would've gone to school, I wouldn't have been a fuck up and could've got a decent job. But, I guess I can't change that right now. So, tomorrow, I'd scope out the mall and hopefully, find myself a job.

---

I awoke with a start when I heard a bang on the far end of the room. I jerked up fast and looked over to see Justin on the floor, sound asleep. He must've fell of the bed. I turned at an angle to see the clock. 9:23. Shit! I wanted to get out of here at nine and go look for jobs.

Quickly, I got up and took a shower. The water was cold, and I couldn't get it to warm up, so it was a pretty fast shower. When I was out, I slipped on a t-shirt and jeans, shoes, and slipped out the door.

The mall is pretty dead, considering it's Thursday in mid summer. But, I guess I'm not complaining. I checked Hot Topic first, which had no positions to be filled. I then went around to other clothing lines such as Gap, Hollister, and Aeropostal. I didn't really want to work there, but it'd do. Unfortuantely, no luck at any of them. Plans weren't going so well.

Then I remembered something. Today was Thursday, I had therapy at seven. now there was even more on my plate.

I continued to walk around and scope out the stores when I finally spotted a green sign saying now hiring. I walked over to it. It was outside a Starbucks, dead center of the mall. Quickly, I walked inside and went to the front counter. A lady greeted me. According to her name tag, her name was Alena.

"Hi, how can I help you?" She said, fingers on the cash register.

"Hi, I'd like to apply for a job," I said with a grin. If I wanted this job, I'd have to show my grand smile.

"Okay, wait here," She went into the back and shortly came back. "The boss says he'll write you down for an interview sometime tomorrow. What's your name?"

"Kellin Quinn," I said, standing up. I had sat down in one of the chairs. She gaped at me for a second. "What...?" I said bewildered.

"You sing in Sleeping With Sirens, don't you?" She said, grinning.

"Uh, yeah...you've seen are park plays?" She nodded.

Sometimes, our local park has bands or singers come and perform for publicity gain, and we've done it quite a bit. Usually, it's not busy and nobody really notices us. but she must have. I'll admit, it feels kind of good, knowing we have a fan and all.

"Well thank you, Alena...for supporting us." I said shaking her hand. She looked so happy now.

"See you soon!" She said as I turned and left the cafe. Now, that I had an interview, I felt a little better. Maybe things were going to go good for once.

---

I headed back to Justin's and started cleaning the living room, before I went to Vic's. For the most part, it was just dirty clothes laying around, so I filled our hampers. The next thing I'd have to do is the laundry,

In the laundry room, there was detergent and what not sitting around eveywhere. I'd have to organize another time though, I was running low on time. I sorted out three piles of laundry. Light, dark, and towels. I then started a light load and continued cleaning the living room. All I got in was dusting and vacuming before I realized it was six and Justin would home any minute. And that he was.

A few minutes later, while I was putting the light load in the dryer and the dark in the washer, Justin walked in and sat his stuff down.

"Hey Justin?" I yelled from th laundry room. He made his way to the door.

"Yeah?"

"Can I borrow your car, I gotta go to therapy in a minute." He tossed me the keys.

"Yeah sure, just don't wreck it." We both laughed. I then finished the laundry and headed out.

---

"So how's it going at Justin's?" Vic asked me. I sat down on the other side of him.

"Pretty good, it's messy there though." He laughed.

"Do you dislike that?"

"Yeah, a lot. I'm a clean freak." He smiled.

"You know, that fits into the category of obssesive compulsive disorder."

"Yeah, yeah...I know." I'd prefer just talking about normal things rather than OCD. I still think I'm fine.

"Okay well, unfortuantely, you aren't here to just talk to me about random stuff, we're here to talk about OCD and that you might have it," May have it?

"I thought you said I did, I-I?" I stuttered and started to sweat a little. Oh god, it was happening again. Why the fuck now? I covered my face, not wanting him to see the worry in my eyes. My heart picked up pace and I was worrying sick.

"Kellin?" He said, touching my arm. I jerked my arm away.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled at him. I felt bad after. But he did it again.

"Kellin, it's fine, it's me." He pulled my arm away from my face and made me look at him. His warm, brown eyes, looked into mine. I immediately started to feel better. I kind of got lost in them honestly, and he must've done the same in mine. Before I knew it, I moved my hand onto his arm and moved forward slowly. He looked nervous, but he didn't push me away either. I got closer and my nose touched his. I got really cold, so did he. I could feel his goosebumps. He leaned a little too. I closed my eyes and waited in anticipation. I'd only known this guys for about three weeks, but I wanted this so bad. So bad, it was kinda wrong. I waited another few seconds, but nothing happened, so I opened my eyes. Vic had pulled back and let go of my arm. He looked down.

"Sorry...we can't...we can't, do that." He said. I nodded, agreeing. It was so close to happening though and I wanted it so bad.

Damn, I wanted him so bad.

---

For the rest of therapy, it was really awkward, but we got through it. I left an hour later, with Vic on my mind. I told myself I shouldn't, but the bad part was...I wanted to.