Oblivion

Kellin's POV:

"Long time no see," I said, strolling into Vic's. I was hiding the awkwardness from him.

"Yeah, sure." We sat.

"Did you tell him?" He looked sad.

"No...I don't have the heart."

"C'mon Vic, you gotta tell him! What about us." I pouted.

"I know, I know I will...soon." I let out a sigh. "Anyways, how's the medicine been?" I was afraid he'd be asking me this.

"Well, uh, good...but I forgot to take it a few times," I said, fumbling with my fingers.

He let out a sigh and scratched his head. "Kellin...."

"I know, I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I'm trying my best to keep the promise.

"I hope I can trust you." I smiled a little when he grabbed my hand.

"I promise, I'll continue to take it." He smiled.

"You know why I want you on medicine, right?" I shook my head. "Because I care and I want you to be happy again." I grinned wider than I probably ever had. I don't know why that made me so happy, but it did. Still, it's so nice to have someone like Vic in my life. My thoughts were broken when Vic spoke again. "So...have you talked to Jenna?"

"She called yesterday, asking if we could meet and talk."

"And...?"

"I declined." He looked a little weary.

"And why's that?"

"She was treating me like shit. I didn't want to talk to her and plus I'm busy."

"Kellin, not that I'm against you or anything, but I understand what Jenna meant. She probably just wants to apologize and mend your friendship back into one. I think you should go see her." What? I thought he'd be happy I declined!

"What...I-I thought you...you didn't want me to!" I said accusingly.

"When did I say that?" That's right. He didn't.

"Oh...I guess I just...assumed." He rolled his eyes. "But why should I go see her?"

"Because she made a hard decision to talk to you even though she knows you're mad. Just because she broke things off for a little for a legitable reason doesn't give you a good enough reason to be snotty."

"How do you know I was snotty." I shot.

"Because I know you." He shot back.

I sighed. "Fine...I'll go see her." He looked accomplished. I was only doing this for Vic's sake. What Jenna and I had won't come back, the sad part is...I don't want it back. I want my history gone. I've finally started my new life and I don't need any parent bullshit, Jenna, and any other bad memories along with it. But the bad part, if I give up my bad history, I have to give the good up too. Damn, my conscience was such a nuisance sometimes.

---

I walked from Vic's to Jenna's. When I knocked, it took a little before the door opened and there stood Jenna smiling. When she realized it was me, the smile turned into a frown.

"What do you want Kellin?"

"Can we talk?"

"I thought you didn't want to."

"Well I do now, can I come in?" She thought for a moment, then with a sigh, opened the door.

We sat down in the living room. I kind of missed being here. And the more I thought about Jenna and I's memories I realized there was more good than bad. And I couldn't just give those up. I had to fix this.

"Listen, I'm sorry I was a total asshole on the phone. I guess I didn't realize why you didn't want to be friends anymore."

"Yeah, and I didn't want to not be friends, I just thought it'd be best if we went separate ways for awhile." I nodded.

"And here we are." She smiled slyly.

"So...how are you?"

"Good, my therapist gave me medication so I'm getting myself straightened out."

"Oh Kellin, I'm so happy for you right now. And I'm even more happy you're getting things straightened out...it's what I've always wanted to hear." She leaned in and hugged me tightly. It took me a moment to realize what was happening.

The warmth of her body against me meant everything. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her just as tightly. I thought my life was good without Jenna. But now, my life is even more better with her.

"And I'm sorry too, I should've been kinder. I was an ass too." I laughed. And it wasn't one of my fake laughs that I use a lot, it was a real one. I don't when I had my actual laugh come out again, but it felt good. I was starting a new life, but also bringing my past with me. I guess you can't just erase the past, you've got to build off it. That's exactly what I'm doing. And it's turning me into a better person, I know it.

---

Walking home was dreadful that evening. It was getting pretty cold out, despite it was now summer, and I didn't have a jacket. I always forget a jacket. So, walking home nearly freezing, I thought about today. I felt better ever since Jenna and I talked about things and got ourselves almost back to normal. I also was just happy Vic opened my eyes and made me realize how snotty I truly was sometimes. I guess I can't guarantee that I'm never going to be like that again, but I sure as hell going to try to be better.

So overall, the whole day was great, one of the best in awhile. The only downside was Vic hasn't told Jaime what happened. It was really making me frustrated. Sexually frustrated.

I'm still a virgin, but I still have my moments. And I really did with Austin. The weird part is, I've never craved physical contact to badly, not even in the times I was with Austin. It was so strange. I've only known Vic for a couple months. So much has happened in the short time though. He's really changed me.

Part of me felt like a dick, wishing Vic would dump Jaime to come with me. And so we could have sex. I guess I've never really opened my eyes and saw the maybe Vic doesn't want to leave Jaime. It hurts to think that, but it's possible. But it's a little possibility. So when our next session showed up, you can imagine I started our session on that note.

---

"So...you're not going to tell him...?" I said, weary. Vic looked pained.

"Listen, it's not because I don't like you or anything, it's just that I can't bear to do this to Jaime and he's never hurt me." He sighed. "I'm really-"

"Save it." I laughed a little. Not a real laugh, of course. I was pissed. "Just to think, you gave a damn about me. I know I haven't known you very long, sure as hell not as long as Jaime has, but I actually thought I was really starting to-" I stopped myself. He didn't need an explanation.

"Started to what?" He questioned.

"Nothing, whatever forget it." I muttered under my breath.

"Kellin..." He groaned. "Don't be this way, you've got to understand somewhat!" He said, frustrated.

"Well I don't okay? I thought you liked me!" I shouted at him.

"I do like you, I like you a lot! I just can't do this to Jaime, it's not fair. It's childish and stupid." He shot back, rather calm.

"Childish? Stupid?" I yelled. "Nothing between us was childish nor stupid."

"The cheating part Kellin." He rubbed his temple.

I was fighting tears back. I didn't know he felt this way. Why did I have to be so emotional? "I only have one question then...do you love him?" I bit my lip.

"Do I what?"

"Do you love Jaime?" I said again, a little louder. He thought about it a little longer before he said exactly what I didn't want to hear.

"Yeah...I do, I think." He sad quietly.

I let out a disappointed sigh. He seemed surprised I wasn't yelling or crying yet.

"Kellin..." He moved forward, but I dodged his grip.

"There's nothing left to say then," I whispered, moving my gaze from him so he wouldn't see the tears building up.

I walked out of the house, shutting the door slowly behind me. And when I was a good distance from the house, the tears spilled. It hurt a lot. I'd gotten too attached to a guy I barely knew. He was my therapist, damn it, nothing else. I hated myself for being so naive. It hurt knowing he loved someone that wasn't me. I don't mean I wanted him to love me, because he couldn't due to the fact we weren't a real thing. I was really hoping we would be though. This screwed everything up.

The first thing I thought about was the fact that I had no reason to take my pills now. But then I remembered, Jenna. I need to keep taking them for her now. But therapy sessions, I think I'm done with those. I've been there enough and it's just going to make matters worse. I then proceeded to establish I wasn't going to therapy this coming Thursday.

I wasn't mad at Vic, I was just sad. All the things I felt in the beginning were gone now, and I really hated that. I'm usually bad at getting rid of my feelings, but I did pretty damn fast when it came to Vic. There was no lust anymore, no craving, no...friendship. It felt like Vic was someone I bumped into on the street and walked past. I cried more at the thought of that.

That night, I went to Jenna's. I just needed someone to talk to right now. She'd understand, she always does.

I knocked on the door and a few seconds later I was greeted by Jenna's smile. It faded when she saw my tired and sad expression. Quietly, she let me in.

"What's wrong?" She asked taking a seat next to me. I stifled a sob that almost escaped my mouth.

"Today's been a bad day Jenna." I managed to saw solemnly. "Wanna hear a story?" I added. I might as well tell her the story. She nodded.

"The first day I went to therapy, I was really mad because I thought I was fine. My therapist, Vic, had helped me out a lot. Then, we quit talking and...I don't know I got kicked out of my mom's house so I moved in with Justin. I got a job at the Starbucks in the mall. I made a new friend, Vic that is. He helped me a lot, I know I said it already, but I can't say it enough." I tried to stifle another sob, but I failed. A cold wave ran through my body. "Anyways, I started feeling things for Vic, and apparently he felt the same. He...he kissed me and I just felt so much better knowing there was someone as great as himself being there for me. But, he turned out to have a boyfriend and- and he can't be with me because he loves him. And it hurts a whole fucking bunch." The tears were strolling, and pretty soon, Jenna hugged me tight.

"Awe, Kellin...I'm so sorry. I can tell you really liked him."

"The part that hurts the most now is I don't feel anything towards him anymore. I used to feel comfort, lust, and then there was friendship. All that's gone now." I sighed heavily. "It's like I just met him again."

"That..." She trailed off, unable to think of the right thing to say. I don't blame her.

"So...to avoid the tension and, all that stuff...I'm done with therapy." I winced, ready to see Jenna inform me I should just keep going. But she didn't.

"I think...that'd best." She said finally.

"W-what? Seriously?" My mouth gaped a little.

"I couldn't stand to see you hurt more than this. It's okay Kellin, you did it for me, now I'm saying thank you." She leaned forward, kissing hmy temple and pulling me into a soft hug. It was comforting, knowing she understood.

After hours of talking, I finally made my way home, saying goodbye, and left Jenna's.

---

"Alena, here's the latte." I said quickly, practically tossing her the coffee. She yelled thanks before handing it to the customer.

I've been getting better at work, mostly because I needed to step up my game anyways. I couldn't let Alex down. So my main focus was putting on my fake smile for everyone in the cafe. Well that is, all but for one. Vic. When he spotted me, I walked into the back, pretending I didn't see him. But it was too late, we made eye contact. I sighed, returning from the back.

"Hi, can I take your order?" I said, hoping he just wanted coffee.

"Kellin, can we-"

"I'm sorry sir, if you're not going to order I need you to step aside." Hurt was written in his eyes, but I didn't care. I felt the same. Somewhere along the way, he stepped over, out of the way but still near me. I left to clean tables. He followed.

"We need to talk." He said sternly.

"I'm working, leave me alone." I muttered.

"Kellin, c'mon...can we talk on your lunch break or something?" I looked up, holding back tears once again because I can't stand to see him.

"I said no Vic."

"Then we're talking now." He said pulling me to one of the booths.

"Let go," I said smacking his hand from me. But it was too late. I was already in the booth.

"Why weren't you at therapy Kellin?"

"Hmm? Therapy?" I said, pretending to not understand.

"Oh my god Kellin!" He said, getting frustrated.

"I gotta go work. Alex is going-"

"I'm not letting you go until you explain." He interupted. I sighed. "Why weren't you at therapy?"

"I...I can't be around you Vic. Jenna said I didn't have to go anymore. There's no reason other than those two. My feeling for you are gone Vic, I don't want to keep in touch." I held back my tears. It wasn't true, but there was no other way to put it. I wanted to keep in touch, but I feel like I can't as well. He looked at me, melancholy put onto both of us now.

"I'm sorry Kellin-"

"You aren't sorry, just go please." He looked at me, his brown eyes filled with apologetic looks. I couldn't accept any of them though. Eventually, he let go and left the cafe silently.

Work the rest of the day was quiet and awkward. I couldn't stop thinking about Vic the whole time. He just makes me so frustrated!

One second, he's sweet and caring, saying he likes me and that he'll put his friendhsip and relationship with Jaime on the line just so we may be able to try something together. Then the next, he tells me he isn't going to tell him and that he doesn't want to be together anymore. I don't get it! And then he just expects me to be okay with it? I can't be okay with it.

Eventually, I got Vic off my mind and managed to finish work without any errors. Alena and I closed up, said our goodbyes, and headed home in different directions. She lives on the West side of town.

Walking home was boring as well, at least I didn't get mugged this time. I guess for the most part I just thought about things recently, pushing Vic to the back of my head. I don't understand why I can't get him off my mind, it's not like I loved him. No, I definitely didn't love him. But I did like him. Look at me, getting wrapped up in my own thoughts again.

Justin wasn't at the house when I got there, which was understandable because of work. But when he didn't arrive at seven, I got a little worried. Justin is never late. Maybe he got held up late at work.

When the clock hit eight I was panicking. My panic ended though when I got a call from Justin's phone. I took a deep breath and answered.

"Hello? Justin?" I said hastily.

"Hey uh, can you meet me downtown, Langing road please." He whispered.

"What? Why?"

"I'm in a bit of trouble, I'll explain later please hurry." He hung up, leaving me in a frantic mess. I grabbed my coat and headed out. I've never heard of
Langing road, so it took my awhile to find it. But once I did, I heard the commotion.

Quickly, I ran following of the sounds which sounded like a man shouting. Sure enough, I was correct. There on the side walk, by a tree was Justin and a man with a gun.

Damn, what's up with the guns lately?

I cautiously moved forward, catching Justin's eye. Unfortunately, I caught the guy with the guns eye too.

"Who are you?" The man yelled.

"I-I'm uh, Kellin."

"Sit or I swear I'll shoot." He threatened. I dropped down onto the concrete, panicked because this wasn't mugging. This was murder.

"Now listen here guys, I wasn't planning on doing this, but I'm fucking outraged at you." He pointed at Justin. "So, thanks to you, I've lost my job and I can't support my wife!" He aimed the gun at Justin. What the fuck was happening?

"Wait, what's going on?" I yelled at the man. Sure enough, he put the gun down, turning towards me with a menacing smile. God he was creepy.

"I'll tell you what's going on. Your buddy here got me fired from my job today. I was working, doing my job as I usually do when Justin reported to the manager an error I had made last week."

"It was a big deal! It wasn't some petty mistake, you screwed shit up really bad that time Damian."

"Shut up!" Damian screamed at Justin.

"So, thanks to him for ruining my one happiness in life, I'm going to shoot him. And I'll shoot you too if you tell a soul. And don't try to run either."

"Wait...think about it, can't you get another job?" I asked. Basically, I was stalling.

"People don't hire me because I'm not qualified and have a long background of violence." He said loudly. No wonder.

"Well there's got to be something."

"Nothing to pay the bills!" He shot back.

"Listen, if you'd just let us go we'll help you find a job. If you shoot us you'll go to jail, then what? No job or family. We can work this out, just let us go." I was trying to negotiate, but it was clear we weren't getting out of this mess.

"Nice try, but you aren't going anywhere." He turned back to Justin and started rambling to him again. I wasn't listening.

I pulled out my phone, dialing 911 slowly. I nodded at Justin as the dial tone started. After a few seconds, I realized everything was silent, besides the dial tone. And I guess I waited a little too long to see what that means.

"Kellin!" Justin screamed, lunging forward, unable to escape from the rope tied around him and the tree. But it didn't matter anyway, it was too late. Damian shot the bullet at me, causing me to go out cold. Pretty soon there was nothing and everything was black. My thoughts started to fade away, causing me to forget everything.

---

Vic's POV:

I went home that evening, regretting I even went to the cafe to see Kellin. He didn't want to see me anymore, I meant nothing. It hurt a lot, because my feelings for him were still there. My mind was filled with remnants of moments both he and I shared. There wasn't a lot, but enough to make me start to cry some. I just couldn't break Jaime's heart. I love him, and even thought I like Kellin, I just can't do it.

When I got home, Jaime and I ate dinner and watched TV. If anything, I wish we were a little closer. Jaime isn't much of a cuddly person like I am and rarely do we actually kiss. But tonight he planted one on me suddenly, taking me surprise.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"You just seem out of it, you have for awhile now. Are you okay?" No. Definitely not okay. But I held that back and nodded. We kept watching TV. Pretty soon, I got a call from none other than Kellin. I was upset with him, but at the same time I coudn't bare to ignore him. In the end, I hurt him, it was my fault. I excused myself from the room, and went outside.

"Hello?" I said after pressing the answer button. There was a pause.

"Vic Fuentes?" It was an unfamiliar voice to me.

"Uh...yes. Who's this?" I said cautiously. Whatever this was, it didn't sound good.

"Justin, Kellin's roommate, I'm calling you to talk to you about Kellin." The man said. Oh god, is he okay? I swear to god if I left and he got into trouble.

"What happened?" I said eagerly, chewing on my lip in anticipation.

"Well, Kellin's in the hospital...Some guy from my work place got pissed that I reported him for screwing up big time. He took me to the park and threatened to shoot me, and unfortunately I got Kellin to come. Just in time for him to get shot." He sounded confused, but sad at the same time. I swear my heart stopped.

"Is he okay?" I said, quickly, going back in and grabbing my keys.

"I think so. He didn't get shot anywhere vital, he'll survive." I took a deep breath and calmed down some.

"Okay, I'll be there soon. What hospital?"

"Mercy's downtown." He replied, fast.

"Okay thank you." I hung up and scrambled to the car, not wasting time in telling Jaime what happened. I'd explain later.

I most likely broke the speed limit going to the hospital, but I didn't care. I just wanted to make sure Kellin was okay. And when I got there, I was relieved a little. I was greeted by Justin in the waiting area.

"Nurse says we can't go in quite yet, there doing to scans." He said, as I took a seat next to him.

"O-Okay," I said.

"You okay?" He asked cautiously. I was totally vulnerable right now.

"No...not really. Did he uh, tell you anything about me?"

"No, not really. He said he had a crush on you though."

"Not anymore." I muttered. He hates my guts now.

"What?"

"He doesn't like me anymore. Never mind, anyways, anytime do you know when we can get in?"

He paused for a moment, probably considering if he should give the information. i wouldn't blame him, now that he knows Kellin doesn't like me. But I don't care what Kellin thinks, I have to make sure he's okay.

"Uh...not sure, but soon." I nodded. And for about another half hour, we sat there in silence until the nurse finally came around the corridor towards us. I practically jumped up.

"You guys can go see Kellin now. Second floor, room five."

"Thank you," I said as I ran down the hall, Justin shortly behind me.

When we reached the door, I was really contemplating if I should enter.

"You first, I don't know if I can do this." I said to Justin.

"Come on dude, let's go."

"I...I can't." Fighting my tears. No matter how bad I wanted to be there for him, I just couldn't.

Justin rolled his eyes and latched onto me, dragging me in behind him. When we entered, Kellin's eyes were closed, but as the door closed, he opened them. He smiled until he saw me, then he looked aggravated.

"What's he doing here?" Kellin said angrily.

"Relax, I told him you were here and he wanted to come see you." I sat down in one of the chairs quietly.

"Why?!" He shouted.

"Because he cares Kellin. God, stop pushing him out for a bit, shit might go right for once." He shot back. I was taken back a bit by his anger. Never in a million years would I have thought Justin, a guy I just met, would defend me. Kellin sighed in defeat.

"I'll leave you too it," Justin said, leaving Kellin and I alone, opposite ends of the room.

"H-how are you?" I asked, looking up.

"Not good," He said with disgust. I knew he didn't want to talk to me. I huffed.

"Listen, I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now, but I need you to know I still care about you. i don't want to be enemies with you Kellin. I want to be your therapist, your friend." I said, holding my tongue. I didn't want anything else to slip out. He looked up, hurt still in his eyes.

"Can't you see that's not what I want?" I shook my head slowly.

"Why?....I don't get it."

"I wanted you as so much more Vic, but you don't. And the flings we had and can't have anymore fucked everything up. It's just not working anymore." His eyes got kind of puffy.

"No....don't cry." I said, hurrying to the bed, getting ready to wipe one of the tears that fell. His hand came up and pushed my hands back though.

"Don't." He said, wiping his own tears. "I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity, I care."

"Bullshit." He spat.

"Why can't you fucking understand!" I finally yelled. "If I didn't care about shit, I wouldn't have came to the cafe to see you, I wouldn't have checked my phone every hour just to see if you called. And when I got the call, I sure wouldn't have left the house and practically ran here! Don't you see the problem here? It's not longer about not being with me. It's about you shutting me and everyone else out Kellin." I huffed. It felt good to get that off my chest. He stared at me, longer than usual. I stared back.

At one point, I thought he was leaning, and I felt a knot in my stomach. I didn't know if I wanted this or not. I still had feelings, sure, but Jaime...

It didn't matter anyway, because when he was only inches from me, he closed his eyes slowly.

"Get out..." He whispered, before laying back down in the bed. I sighed, fighting the tears stinging my eyes.

"Okay," I said, defeated. I left the room slowly, hoping he'd change is mind. But he didn't.

Once I was through the corridor, I bumped into Justin.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"He doesn't need me in his life anymore," I said, moving past him through the doors.

And with that, I left the hospital, lost for words. There really were no words for how I felt.