Only Us

I loved you for so long.

I remained in the background, in the shadows, watching you for so long – every change in the auburn shades of your hair or the number of freckles on your face, every flower you had picked and every song that you have flawlessly sung, every cry you had uttered in defense, every unrequited infatuation that left you hollow.

I wanted to help. I wanted to be there for you, but never made myself noticeable to you; you were never aware of my existence at the time.

I discouraged myself several times too many – “I’m not perfect”. “I’m not deserving”.

“I’m not in my right mind”.

However, my love for you was strong.
A titanium fortress. A scorching fire that couldn’t be doused.

And that one night when a liquor-flavored kiss was shared in a closet only added on.

I loved you so much, I couldn’t think clearly anymore.
I couldn’t even remember if I even confronted you with what I felt.

I felt that no one could love you as much as I could and I wanted you so much that it physically ached.

And when you love and want something bad enough, you do whatever it takes to obtain it, correct?

Is that why I have a pair of scissors in my hand?
Is that why I’m standing in your bathroom, staring at the red splattered on the wall of the shower?

Is that why a man, most likely your lover, is on the floor, with blood still spurting from the incision in his throat?

I felt myself come to, running my free hand through my hair and gasping for air.

What is she going to think of me now?
I swore that he was brainwashing her. I swore that I had freed her.

But, what if my judgment was wrong?

I scrunched up my nose at the strong scent of iron that was now filling the air in the room.

She’s going to be home soon, and I’ve made such a mess…
I made such a mess of everything.

I threw the scissors into the sink and turned the water on, washing away only a small percentage of the evidence.
In the distance, I heard the sound of a car engine approaching the house.

I quickly stepped out of the bathroom and locked the door before shutting it behind me.

My heart pounded erratically inside my chest as my hands trembled.
I fell back against the wall, gripped at my hair, and was about to scream out—

“I’m home!”

The sound of her sweet voice, and I was calm in an instant.

I came here for a reason. I have to tell her.
I’ll be damned if I hide what I feel for another day.

I peered from the bedroom door – a glance at long, auburn hair moving in the kitchen.
I slowly and quietly made my way to where she was, covering her eyes with my hands.

An endearing giggle before she placed her hands over mine.

“What are you doing, Jason?”

She thinks I’m him.

I brought my lips to her neck, placing a feather-light kiss on the skin.

A part of me is screaming that what I’m doing is wrong, just flat out wrong.

However, desire was screaming louder.

“Stop teasing. Let me see you.”

I froze up as my heart sped up its harsh beating again.

“What’s wrong?”

I moved my hands away and started to back away from her.
She turned around, not very delighted with who she was faced with.

“Kari?! What are you doing? Why are you in my house?!”

I bit down on my lip, trying my best to avoid her piercing, hazel gaze.

“Alyssa…I…”
“You shouldn’t be here, Kari!”

“Please…! I need to tell you…! I need you to know my feelings for you…!”
She gave me a look of disgust and fear, backing away slightly.

“Alyssa…? What’s wrong?”
“The last time you tried to show me your feelings for me, it didn’t end well!”

What?

“What are you talking about…? I never told you what I really felt for you…!”
“You seriously don’t remember? Sophomore year in college, you…”

She shuddered in disgust before she glared at me.

“Get out! Get out and leave me alone! I don’t ever want to see you again! Do you understand me?!”
“No! I don’t understand! I’m in love with you, Alyssa! What could I have done wrong?!”

She shook her head, tears now running down her cheeks.

“Get out before I call my husband and the police!”

I froze up again.

“Don’t…”
“What do you mean?!”

I didn’t respond.

She quickly pulled out her phone and dialed a number.
A ringtone sounded in the bathroom after five seconds.

She rushed to the bathroom with me following close behind her.
She stopped when she caught sight of a red liquid pooling under the door – she didn’t try to open the door.

“Jason…?”

Silence.

“Jason, please…answer…! Answer me, baby…!”

“Alyssa…”
“What did you do to him?!”

“Alyssa—”
“I told you that I didn’t love you!”

That statement alone hurt immensely, but she wasn’t done.

“I told you to stop coming after me! I told you that one night at that party was a drunken mistake! I told you that I never wanted to ever see you again! You’re sick! You’re twisted! You’re so fucked up in the head!”

She turned back towards the door, now banging on it.

“Jason! Please! Answer me!”

The ache in my chest went numb. My blood began to boil at the sight of her helplessly banging on the locked door.

How dare she say those things to me?!
After all that I had felt for her!

I balled my hands into fists.

Jason brainwashed her.
She loves me. She just doesn’t realize it.

She loves me, and I love her.
That’s the way it should have been. That’s the way it should be!

I couldn’t stand to watch the pitiful display in front of me any longer.
I didn’t hesitate to grab her by the wrist, turn her around, and slam her up against the door.

“Stop fucking crying over him. He’s dead, Alyssa. D-E-A-D.”

I smirked as her eyes went wide with fear as my hand snaked around her throat.

“Kari, you bitc—”

I struck her across the face as hard as I could before she could finish her statement – she was knocked out cold.
I knelt down, gently brushing her hair from her face.

“I’m sorry, Alyssa. I know you dislike me right now…but I still love you. And then, you’ll love me too because you don’t have Jason to brainwash you anymore.”

| x | x | x |

The basement room was lit by one white light on the wall – enough light for the whole room to be somewhat visible.

I sat in one chair, while Alyssa was placed in the other across from me – her wrists, legs, and torso were bound to it by rope.
I couldn’t help but feel guilty every time I glanced at the bluish-purple mark that formed on her cheek.

However, the knife, the pair of scissors, the syringe, and a pair of obstetric forceps scattered on the floor noted my hypocrisy.

I love her. I love her so much.
But I have to make sure our love is only ours.

A small groan in pain notified me that she came to.

I smiled and stood up, walking towards her.
I ran my hand through her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She saw me and her eyes went wide.
I clasped a hand over her mouth before she could scream.

“Shh…Baby, don’t scream. Don’t scream. It’s only me.”

I gave her a reassuring smile. I got tears in return as she struggled against the restraints.

“Please, don’t cry. Don’t be afraid of me. Jason is no longer here to brainwash you anymore. You can finally fall in love with me, like you were supposed to…!”

She shook her head with more tears falling as she struggled against the restraints again with a muffled cry.
I pressed another kiss to her forehead, hoping to calm her down.

“Alyssa. I have to ask you a question, and I want you to answer me truthfully. It is very crucial that you answer me truthfully.”

She slowly nodded as I removed my hand from her mouth and placed it onto her knee.

“Are…Are you pregnant?”

She grew tense. Very tense.

“Alyssa?”
She let out a loud, choked up sob.

“You are…aren’t you?”
“No…! Don’t do it! Don’t put me through that again! Anything but that!”

I bit down on my lip as I picked up the syringe and the forceps.

“No! Kari! We can let it live! We can raise it, together! Please! Please don’t do this!”
“I have to renew our love, Alyssa…It will be painless. I promise.”

“Please, Kari…! Please…! Don’t…!”
She was shaking and crying non-stop.

I had to ignore her pleas as I pushed the needle into a vein in her arm, injecting the clear liquid.
I pulled it out and threw it to the side.

She begged for me to stop again – I continued to ignore her.

I shifted up her skirt and grabbed a hold of her underwear, pulling it down to her ankles.
I positioned myself between her legs with the forceps in my hand.

She burst out into a mess of sobs and hiccups as I pushed the forceps inside.
About ten minutes later, there was blood and she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

I stopped and gagged her with a small cloth before I returned to my position.

Twenty minutes have passed, and she was still screaming in pain with blood staining the chair and insides of her thighs.

Forty minutes have passed, and she finally grew quiet as I finished – a blood-covered organism now rested on the floor with the forceps.

I stood up and removed the cloth from her mouth, kissing her on the lips this time.
I wiped the sweat from her forehead and cooed to comfort her.

“It’s okay, Alyssa. The worst part is over.”

She continued to cry in silence.

“Please, don’t cry anymore. We can start over now…! I love you so much. I will always love you. And I will always take care of you. You will only be mine, and I will only be yours.”

“Kari…Can you please untie me?”
“Of course!”

I untied the ropes and tossed them to the side, instantly bringing her into my arms.

“Are you hungry, sweetie? I can make us something to eat.”
“…Yes…”

Her response was so emotionless, but I thought nothing of it.

I gave her another kiss before I stood up and made my way into the kitchen, scrambling around to gather ingredients for chicken alfredo.

I couldn’t stop smiling to myself.

We can finally be together. I love her so much, and I know she will love me back soon.
I just have to be patient. It will be worth it when she does return my feelings after all of these years.

However, my smile faded when I heard a small noise coming from the basement – almost like the sound of…a voice.

“Alyssa?”
I called out to her as I made my way back into the basement.

When I stepped in, my heart dropped into my stomach.

My phone read ‘recent call: 911’ on the screen.
Alyssa was lying on the ground, hands wrapped around a knife that was lodged into her stomach, blood pooling under her and the phone.

I rushed to her side, pulling her into my arms.

“Alyssa?!”

No response.

“Alyssa?! Wake up! Alyssa!!!”

Tears poured from my eyes, landing on her face.

I couldn’t take it.
My heart rapidly pounded in my chest. My hands trembled.

I was now hyperventilating.

“ALYSSA! YOU CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME! JUST WHEN WE WERE FINALLY GOING TO BE TOGETHER! JUST WHEN YOU WERE FINALLY GOING TO LOVE ME!!!”

I screamed out in frustration and anger, dropping Alyssa’s corpse back to the ground.
Another scream echoed in the room as I hit the floor with my fist, splashing the blood on it.

In the midst of my screaming, I heard the door break open and footsteps quickly followed suit before I was forced to lie flat onto the ground.

The words that were being yelled at me didn’t register until I was carried out the door.

“Kari Richards, you are under arrest for the assault and assisted murder of Alyssa Carter.”

| x | x | x |

“Patient #908. She seems sane. What’s her deal?”
“She’s just fucking insane, man. This isn’t her first time here, either.”

Those voices outside the room aren’t real.

“What did she do the first time to get locked up in here?”
“She was really in love with this girl in college. The girl got pregnant and 908 wasn’t really happy with that. So, she kidnaps the girl, locks her up, and gives her a forced abortion to get rid of the kid.”

I didn’t do that.

“God…that’s sick…”
“What’s worse is that she did the same thing to the same woman again, and that’s how she got locked up in here again. She even murdered the woman’s husband because she believed that he was ‘brainwashing’ her from loving her back.”

Why are my arms bound in a jacket? Why am I here?

I didn’t murder anyone.

“Did the woman press charges?”
“She’s dead. Called 911 before committing suicide.”

None of that happened.
I did none of those things.

Alyssa isn’t dead.

She only loves me.
And I only love her.