Status: One-shot
Keep Your Charm
1/1
"For the thrill of your touch, I will shamefully lust…"
- A Love Like War, All Time Low ft. Vic Fuentes.
---
Zack could see it in Jack's eyes whenever he looks at Jack- he loved Alex. It was so obvious, it might as well be illuminated on the side of a building, and Alex loved Jack.
Zack knew that being in love with someone who was already in love with someone else was painful because they showered all their love on the other person. It was like someone was reaching into his chest and pulling his heart out daily; happening every time Jack and Alex shared a loving look, or a quick kiss.
And he was fed up of the heart ache, it had become his constant companion since Jack confessed his love to Alex. When that had happened, Zack had been round the corner, overhearing every word and feeling his heart break into millions upon millions of tiny pieces.
The real reason for Zack's early morning runs was to avoid the sugar sweetness of Jack waking his boyfriend (Zack hated that word, apart from in his hopeless daydreams, where Jack was his boyfriend) up with kisses. He did it to spare his already broken heart, not that it helped much; it was crushed from shows, where the fans believed in 'Jalex' and screamed at the singer and guitarist to kiss. They always complied, much to the fans excitement and to Zack's quiet hatred.
No one noticed his pain or hatred, and he couldn't decide if that was good or bad. It was partly good, because Jack wasn't aware of his feelings and so, he wasn't constantly trying to make him feel better, and partly bad, because Zack was longing hopelessly for Alex's boyfriend.
---
They were on stage and the fans were screaming as Jack, with his black and purple guitar in his hands, dropped to his knees in front of Alex's legs and bobbed his head as through sucking Alex's dick. The fan's cameras flashed, lighting the pair up like a Christmas tree. Zack can't help but think, even though Alex was there as well, Jack looked delectable, with his neck glistening with a slight sheen of sweat in the flashing lights that Zack wants to lick off him. And not even in a sexual way either, he was sure it would taste like a mix of Jack's cologne and something that was uniquely Jack.
Zack breathed silently in and then out, willing himself to calm down, trying to concentrate on his fingers playing the bass perfectly. He didn't want to march over and knock Alex out, although that's what his feelings were telling him to do, but he didn't want to knock one of his best friends out, even if Alex was with his true love.
He had to calm down.
---
After the show, once they're all showered and fully dressed (seeing Jack and Alex all over each other while completely naked was always both exhilarating - because Zack would take any opportunity to see Jack naked - and painful - because Alex would wash Jack's back for him and Zack wanted to be the one doing that), Zack was sitting in the lounge, flicking through a magazine idly. He wasn't paying attention to what it said though, his concentration was on Jack and Alex.
They were on the other side of the sofa, the TV showing Jack's favourite movie: Home Alone. Alex had put it on for Jack, and now they were curled up on the sofa, Jack's head on Alex's chest. Zack noticed that they'd fallen asleep. He wasn't surprised, this often happened after shows.
He sighed heavily, hating himself for having to do this. It was like he had a self-destructive personality, always getting a blanket and putting it carefully over the sleeping couple. As Zack did that, he allowed himself a quick longing look at Jack and his peaceful sleeping face, he looked so at ease. Zack wished that his sleep would be as restful - but in a way, he guessed it was; it was in his dreams when he got to be in a relationship that was more than friendship with Jack. It just wasn't real, no matter how much Zack wished that it was.
Zack went to the bunk area, intending to sleep the pain away, although he knew that wouldn't happen, but he got pulled aside by Rian.
"What?" Zack said.
"What was with the sigh?" The drummer asked, tilting his head curiously.
He smiled, decided to play dumb, and said, "What do you mean?"
"The sigh that you did when you were looking at Jack and Alex?"
"I'm just tired Rian." Zack hoped that his friend would believe his paper-thin lie.
Rian snorted, "That's a lie Zack, and you know it."
"You're right..."
"And?" Rian prodded, evidently hoping for more information.
"I don't want to tell you." Zack said sadly, looking at the floor.
"Come on! Tell me!"
"No."
Rian loooked at him and then sat down on the bunk behind him. Oh God, Zack thought, Rian was going to wait until he cracked and told him. After about five minutes of silence, broken only by the soft snores of the couple in the lounge, Zavk sighed.
"Fine, fine," Zack said, "I guess it would help, but you can't tell anyone, and I mean absaloutely no one. No blurting it out if you feel uncomfortable, no telling someone cause you feel like it." He stressed his last sentence, "You can't tell anyone."
Rian nodded seriously, whatever this was, Zack was clearly dead serious about it.
"I... I..." Zack took a deep breath before saying, "I love Jack."
It was kind of invigorating, saying it out loud after all these years. Even so, it wasn't something that he wanted to do again, especially if Jack was in the room. Not when he knew it would end in Jack telling him that he loved Alex, and Zack like a friend. Zack didn't think he could take the pain.
"You love Jack?" Rian said, sounding surprised, "But he loves Alex, and Alex loves him."
"I - I know," Zack stuttered, feeling ashamed for loving Jack, who was in a relationship, "I know."
Rian stared at his friend, blinking, and then pulled Zack into a hug. They pulled away from each other, Rian keeping a supportive hand on one of Zack's shoulders.
"T-thanks." Zack choked out, his face feeling damp with tears despite himself.
"Zack...any time you wanna talk, come talk to me yeah?" Rian said, squeezing Zack's shoulder,
"Promise me that?"
"Yeah." He agreed.
---
"Rian?" Zack said quietly, shaking the drummer awake. He needed to talk to him, if he didn't, he was afraid he would do something stupid. Like confess his love to Jack, who was sleeping, but knowing his luck, Jack would wake up halfway through his confession and demand that Zack repeat everything he'd said beforehand. And that would just end painfully, because Jack loved Alex, not Zack.
"Mmpft?" Rian mumbled, blinking his eyes open, "Zack?"
"Rian, I need - I need to talk to you."
"Now?" Rian said, yawning, "In the middle of the night? Really?"
"Yes. Please Rian." He said, getting up and walking almost silently into the the front lounge. He sat down on the sofa and hoped that Rian would come in. After a few minutes, Rian walked in, shutting the door behind him and sitting down on the sofa next to Zack.
"So, what's up?"
"I had a dream...about Jack..." Zack started, taking a breath to relax, "And we were boyfriends and...it just..."
"Made you sad when you woke up?" Rian finished, putting a hand on Zack's shoulder.
"Yeah," He said in a low voice, as though everybody (Jack) was awake in the middle of the night,
"And you know what hurt the most?"
"What?"
Zack closed his eyes, afraid that he would cry, and said, "When I got up and saw Jack and Alex curled up in Jack's bunk together."
"Oh Zack..." Rian said as he yanked Zack into a sorely-needed hug.
As he pressed his face into the crook between Rian's neck and shoulders, Zack couldn't help a few tears escaping from underneath his eyelids, soaking into Rian's t-shirt. A few minutes later, his shoulders shaked as a few tears turned into a full-on sobbing. Through it, Rian kept mumbling fake assurances (Zack knew they were fake - Jack would never love him the way he loved the skunk-haired man) and rubbing his back. Eventually, Zack pulled away, wiping his eyes and apologizing to Rian.
"Zack, seriously, stop saying sorry," His friend said firmly, "It's fine. I'm your friend, that's what friends are for."
"Ok."
---
After the confession in the middle of the night to Rian and the little bit of crying that came after, Zack went to bed and slept through the rest of the night. He got woken up by a loud bang. He poked his head through the bunk's curtains that he'd shut last night, unable to stand the sight of Jack and Alex sharing a bed any longer, and found Alex on the floor, clutching his side and drawing his boyfriend's name out in a whine of pain, "Jack!"
He looked up and was struck speechless at the look of pure joy on Jack's face. Jack's deep brown eyes were glowing with mirth and his mouth open as he laughed loudly. He was beautiful.
"Oi Zack," Alex said, directing Zack's attention to the man on the floor, "Mind giving me a hand?"
Zack wordlessly held out a hand and pulled the brown-haired singer up with ease.
"Thanks," Alex said, once he was on his feet again, "I will never get over how ripped you are Zack."
Zack shrugged, and then got out of bed, resolutely not looking at Jack, who was hugging Alex, his chuckles still reaching Zack's ears and making him feel all tingly inside. He smiled wistfully as he went to the kitchen.
"Hey Zack," Rian greeted, "Those two woke you up?"
Zack nodded, trying to will the immense sadness that had settled in his chest, saying, "Yeah, they did."
"You sleep ok?"
"Guess so." Zack shrugged.
"You get to sleep then?" Rian asked.
"Yeah, but it had the same problem."
"I hope it'll get better."
Zack laughed shortly, he knew it would never get 'better' - he would always love Jack, as sure as the Moon circled the Earth. But he appreciated Rian's efforts nonetheless. He smiled to let Rian know that.
- A Love Like War, All Time Low ft. Vic Fuentes.
---
Zack could see it in Jack's eyes whenever he looks at Jack- he loved Alex. It was so obvious, it might as well be illuminated on the side of a building, and Alex loved Jack.
Zack knew that being in love with someone who was already in love with someone else was painful because they showered all their love on the other person. It was like someone was reaching into his chest and pulling his heart out daily; happening every time Jack and Alex shared a loving look, or a quick kiss.
And he was fed up of the heart ache, it had become his constant companion since Jack confessed his love to Alex. When that had happened, Zack had been round the corner, overhearing every word and feeling his heart break into millions upon millions of tiny pieces.
The real reason for Zack's early morning runs was to avoid the sugar sweetness of Jack waking his boyfriend (Zack hated that word, apart from in his hopeless daydreams, where Jack was his boyfriend) up with kisses. He did it to spare his already broken heart, not that it helped much; it was crushed from shows, where the fans believed in 'Jalex' and screamed at the singer and guitarist to kiss. They always complied, much to the fans excitement and to Zack's quiet hatred.
No one noticed his pain or hatred, and he couldn't decide if that was good or bad. It was partly good, because Jack wasn't aware of his feelings and so, he wasn't constantly trying to make him feel better, and partly bad, because Zack was longing hopelessly for Alex's boyfriend.
---
They were on stage and the fans were screaming as Jack, with his black and purple guitar in his hands, dropped to his knees in front of Alex's legs and bobbed his head as through sucking Alex's dick. The fan's cameras flashed, lighting the pair up like a Christmas tree. Zack can't help but think, even though Alex was there as well, Jack looked delectable, with his neck glistening with a slight sheen of sweat in the flashing lights that Zack wants to lick off him. And not even in a sexual way either, he was sure it would taste like a mix of Jack's cologne and something that was uniquely Jack.
Zack breathed silently in and then out, willing himself to calm down, trying to concentrate on his fingers playing the bass perfectly. He didn't want to march over and knock Alex out, although that's what his feelings were telling him to do, but he didn't want to knock one of his best friends out, even if Alex was with his true love.
He had to calm down.
---
After the show, once they're all showered and fully dressed (seeing Jack and Alex all over each other while completely naked was always both exhilarating - because Zack would take any opportunity to see Jack naked - and painful - because Alex would wash Jack's back for him and Zack wanted to be the one doing that), Zack was sitting in the lounge, flicking through a magazine idly. He wasn't paying attention to what it said though, his concentration was on Jack and Alex.
They were on the other side of the sofa, the TV showing Jack's favourite movie: Home Alone. Alex had put it on for Jack, and now they were curled up on the sofa, Jack's head on Alex's chest. Zack noticed that they'd fallen asleep. He wasn't surprised, this often happened after shows.
He sighed heavily, hating himself for having to do this. It was like he had a self-destructive personality, always getting a blanket and putting it carefully over the sleeping couple. As Zack did that, he allowed himself a quick longing look at Jack and his peaceful sleeping face, he looked so at ease. Zack wished that his sleep would be as restful - but in a way, he guessed it was; it was in his dreams when he got to be in a relationship that was more than friendship with Jack. It just wasn't real, no matter how much Zack wished that it was.
Zack went to the bunk area, intending to sleep the pain away, although he knew that wouldn't happen, but he got pulled aside by Rian.
"What?" Zack said.
"What was with the sigh?" The drummer asked, tilting his head curiously.
He smiled, decided to play dumb, and said, "What do you mean?"
"The sigh that you did when you were looking at Jack and Alex?"
"I'm just tired Rian." Zack hoped that his friend would believe his paper-thin lie.
Rian snorted, "That's a lie Zack, and you know it."
"You're right..."
"And?" Rian prodded, evidently hoping for more information.
"I don't want to tell you." Zack said sadly, looking at the floor.
"Come on! Tell me!"
"No."
Rian loooked at him and then sat down on the bunk behind him. Oh God, Zack thought, Rian was going to wait until he cracked and told him. After about five minutes of silence, broken only by the soft snores of the couple in the lounge, Zavk sighed.
"Fine, fine," Zack said, "I guess it would help, but you can't tell anyone, and I mean absaloutely no one. No blurting it out if you feel uncomfortable, no telling someone cause you feel like it." He stressed his last sentence, "You can't tell anyone."
Rian nodded seriously, whatever this was, Zack was clearly dead serious about it.
"I... I..." Zack took a deep breath before saying, "I love Jack."
It was kind of invigorating, saying it out loud after all these years. Even so, it wasn't something that he wanted to do again, especially if Jack was in the room. Not when he knew it would end in Jack telling him that he loved Alex, and Zack like a friend. Zack didn't think he could take the pain.
"You love Jack?" Rian said, sounding surprised, "But he loves Alex, and Alex loves him."
"I - I know," Zack stuttered, feeling ashamed for loving Jack, who was in a relationship, "I know."
Rian stared at his friend, blinking, and then pulled Zack into a hug. They pulled away from each other, Rian keeping a supportive hand on one of Zack's shoulders.
"T-thanks." Zack choked out, his face feeling damp with tears despite himself.
"Zack...any time you wanna talk, come talk to me yeah?" Rian said, squeezing Zack's shoulder,
"Promise me that?"
"Yeah." He agreed.
---
"Rian?" Zack said quietly, shaking the drummer awake. He needed to talk to him, if he didn't, he was afraid he would do something stupid. Like confess his love to Jack, who was sleeping, but knowing his luck, Jack would wake up halfway through his confession and demand that Zack repeat everything he'd said beforehand. And that would just end painfully, because Jack loved Alex, not Zack.
"Mmpft?" Rian mumbled, blinking his eyes open, "Zack?"
"Rian, I need - I need to talk to you."
"Now?" Rian said, yawning, "In the middle of the night? Really?"
"Yes. Please Rian." He said, getting up and walking almost silently into the the front lounge. He sat down on the sofa and hoped that Rian would come in. After a few minutes, Rian walked in, shutting the door behind him and sitting down on the sofa next to Zack.
"So, what's up?"
"I had a dream...about Jack..." Zack started, taking a breath to relax, "And we were boyfriends and...it just..."
"Made you sad when you woke up?" Rian finished, putting a hand on Zack's shoulder.
"Yeah," He said in a low voice, as though everybody (Jack) was awake in the middle of the night,
"And you know what hurt the most?"
"What?"
Zack closed his eyes, afraid that he would cry, and said, "When I got up and saw Jack and Alex curled up in Jack's bunk together."
"Oh Zack..." Rian said as he yanked Zack into a sorely-needed hug.
As he pressed his face into the crook between Rian's neck and shoulders, Zack couldn't help a few tears escaping from underneath his eyelids, soaking into Rian's t-shirt. A few minutes later, his shoulders shaked as a few tears turned into a full-on sobbing. Through it, Rian kept mumbling fake assurances (Zack knew they were fake - Jack would never love him the way he loved the skunk-haired man) and rubbing his back. Eventually, Zack pulled away, wiping his eyes and apologizing to Rian.
"Zack, seriously, stop saying sorry," His friend said firmly, "It's fine. I'm your friend, that's what friends are for."
"Ok."
---
After the confession in the middle of the night to Rian and the little bit of crying that came after, Zack went to bed and slept through the rest of the night. He got woken up by a loud bang. He poked his head through the bunk's curtains that he'd shut last night, unable to stand the sight of Jack and Alex sharing a bed any longer, and found Alex on the floor, clutching his side and drawing his boyfriend's name out in a whine of pain, "Jack!"
He looked up and was struck speechless at the look of pure joy on Jack's face. Jack's deep brown eyes were glowing with mirth and his mouth open as he laughed loudly. He was beautiful.
"Oi Zack," Alex said, directing Zack's attention to the man on the floor, "Mind giving me a hand?"
Zack wordlessly held out a hand and pulled the brown-haired singer up with ease.
"Thanks," Alex said, once he was on his feet again, "I will never get over how ripped you are Zack."
Zack shrugged, and then got out of bed, resolutely not looking at Jack, who was hugging Alex, his chuckles still reaching Zack's ears and making him feel all tingly inside. He smiled wistfully as he went to the kitchen.
"Hey Zack," Rian greeted, "Those two woke you up?"
Zack nodded, trying to will the immense sadness that had settled in his chest, saying, "Yeah, they did."
"You sleep ok?"
"Guess so." Zack shrugged.
"You get to sleep then?" Rian asked.
"Yeah, but it had the same problem."
"I hope it'll get better."
Zack laughed shortly, he knew it would never get 'better' - he would always love Jack, as sure as the Moon circled the Earth. But he appreciated Rian's efforts nonetheless. He smiled to let Rian know that.
♠ ♠ ♠
An unrequited Merrikat for you all. Read and review. :)