Confessions of a Cheater
Him
The night started with a roar. Energetic dances and numb lips from alcohol. My head felt like a rock on my shoulders, throwing me off balance when ever I tilted to the side. My hands would dance in the air, with a bottle of Canadian Club in one hand, the other just pointing. The band playing up beat ballads to which the pub chanted to.
He stood at the bar. Our eyes catching occasionally. He was the equivalent to the jocks in college. I was the rugrat that belonged to no group. People like him just weren't suppose to look my way. He would peer through his eye brows every so often, and I would flash him a flirty smile. My long black hair falling gracefully and softly around my olive faced skin. My blue dress creeping as I danced.
The minutes ticked constantly, passing by unnoticed. 2 am struck past. The doors opened for the last of us to leave. The last of us standing walked briskly and lively to a house party not too far from the pub. The streets were quiet apart from the scuffing of your heels, and the banter between the boys. I walked ahead with my friend, who may I add, was having her own little love interest that night too. We laughed at little things from the night at the pub.
Along the main road, I turned my head over my shoulder. Our eyes once again catching as I smiled.
The pavement smelt like warm concrete as the night air was humid. The sky was clear, and the stars glittered the midnight blanket above us.
For the moment I was a young free girl with no restrictions. For this moment only, I could do what I wanted.
As we walked into the house party, Dena went straight to the couch and slumped down. Jayden followed her and took the seat next to her. My sister Faith bet me to the last spot leaving me to take one of the single chairs next to Conor. But before I could sit down, one of the other party members grabbed me by my hand and swung me into their arms. Had I not known who this guy was, I would have freaked out. He was a close family friend of ours but we reffered to each other as cousins. We danced hand in hand. He would swing me in a twirl making my head spin at the same time. I was so intoxicated that I could hardly focus in on anything as we moved. The room was becoming more and more of a blur. Finally the song ended and I was able to take a seat. I sat down next to Conor with another drink in my hand. Keelan was so drunk, he stumbled to the door to take a piss. His pants already around his ankles before he got to the door. Tears filled my eyes as my stomach tightened with laughter. We were all just having a really good time. And this was one of the best nights I had had in a long time. It was exactly the kind of release I needed.
However there was a growing silence between Conor and I as I desperately tried to avoid leading him on any further. The temptation of him being beside me. The feeling of attention he was giving to me. I had always thought he was beyond my league. So the fact that he was feeling the way I was about him right now, was incredibly infatuating. The fact that he desired me. Me, of all people. He was making it so hard to ignore him. To deny him my attention.
I turned to him and asked him if he wanted another drink. He smiled and said he was alright, and needed to know where the toilet was. I showed him as, leading him to the back of the garage. I went to turn as my heart raced in my chest.
"Wait" Conor said, "Do you really have a boyfriend?"
"Yes, why?" I answered.
He stepped into me and instantly I could smell his aroma. His height towering over me. Little me. He was so close I could feel his breath upon my forehead.
"Because I really want to do this" He said, grabbing my neck and reaching down to kiss me. His lips smothering mine. At first I tried to stop it. Fought against it. But eventually I gave in. My body falling into his, my mouth opening to his. His taste was sweet and daring. His body was tense and intimidating. It was like years of crushing and desiring had exploded all into one kiss. His hands grabbing at my back to pull me in tighter. His kisses burning into my memory.
Suddenly I heard my sister call out to me. I panicked at the thought of being caught so I ran and hid behind a tall fence. Casually Conor followed me. For a moment he was quiet and we just stood before each other. My body told me to have him, but my heart was telling me "no". My heart belonged to another. I truly and undoubtedly loved Josiah with all my heart. He was the epitome of a perfect future. He treated me like a queen. And this is how I repay him. My heart started to sink into my stomach. Butterflies from the deed I had just done.
"Are you alright?" Conor asked again. Placing his hands on my hips.
"I can't do this..." I paused, again with his lips a breath away from mine.
"He won't know. I promise" He urged. But I could already feel the guilt laying into me as I placed my hand on his chest. Perfect. I thought. His chest in perfect condition. I turned as he leaned in again. But as he went to pull away I found my hand clench at his collar and I dove back into him again. This time my hand rested perfectly between his collar bones, as his held my waist. We kissed.
I could feel him shiver as we stood in the cooling air outside. My body warm from alcohol still. We broke from a kiss as he guided my hand to his belt. I could feel him through his jeans. But this I could not do. This, my body said no.
"I'm not ready to do this. It's not fair. Josiah is a really good person. He really loves me."
"Okay" He whispered,
"Why me?" I asked, my body started to shake, "There are other girls inside that were begging for your attention, so why did you choose me?"
"Because you're the one that I want"
"You're just saying that" I rolled my eyes, "I know guys like you, you'll say anything to get into my pants"
"Guys like me?" He quietly laughed, "How do you know?"
"I don't, that's what scares me" I answered.
We kissed again, and maybe a few more times before he asked me if I wanted to be walked home. I couldn't run the risk of being around him for much longer as his body was simply tempting.
For me, the long walk home would serve as a good time to think. To really clear my head of him before I laid in bed with the love of my life. That was the plan anyway.
He stood at the bar. Our eyes catching occasionally. He was the equivalent to the jocks in college. I was the rugrat that belonged to no group. People like him just weren't suppose to look my way. He would peer through his eye brows every so often, and I would flash him a flirty smile. My long black hair falling gracefully and softly around my olive faced skin. My blue dress creeping as I danced.
The minutes ticked constantly, passing by unnoticed. 2 am struck past. The doors opened for the last of us to leave. The last of us standing walked briskly and lively to a house party not too far from the pub. The streets were quiet apart from the scuffing of your heels, and the banter between the boys. I walked ahead with my friend, who may I add, was having her own little love interest that night too. We laughed at little things from the night at the pub.
Along the main road, I turned my head over my shoulder. Our eyes once again catching as I smiled.
The pavement smelt like warm concrete as the night air was humid. The sky was clear, and the stars glittered the midnight blanket above us.
For the moment I was a young free girl with no restrictions. For this moment only, I could do what I wanted.
As we walked into the house party, Dena went straight to the couch and slumped down. Jayden followed her and took the seat next to her. My sister Faith bet me to the last spot leaving me to take one of the single chairs next to Conor. But before I could sit down, one of the other party members grabbed me by my hand and swung me into their arms. Had I not known who this guy was, I would have freaked out. He was a close family friend of ours but we reffered to each other as cousins. We danced hand in hand. He would swing me in a twirl making my head spin at the same time. I was so intoxicated that I could hardly focus in on anything as we moved. The room was becoming more and more of a blur. Finally the song ended and I was able to take a seat. I sat down next to Conor with another drink in my hand. Keelan was so drunk, he stumbled to the door to take a piss. His pants already around his ankles before he got to the door. Tears filled my eyes as my stomach tightened with laughter. We were all just having a really good time. And this was one of the best nights I had had in a long time. It was exactly the kind of release I needed.
However there was a growing silence between Conor and I as I desperately tried to avoid leading him on any further. The temptation of him being beside me. The feeling of attention he was giving to me. I had always thought he was beyond my league. So the fact that he was feeling the way I was about him right now, was incredibly infatuating. The fact that he desired me. Me, of all people. He was making it so hard to ignore him. To deny him my attention.
I turned to him and asked him if he wanted another drink. He smiled and said he was alright, and needed to know where the toilet was. I showed him as, leading him to the back of the garage. I went to turn as my heart raced in my chest.
"Wait" Conor said, "Do you really have a boyfriend?"
"Yes, why?" I answered.
He stepped into me and instantly I could smell his aroma. His height towering over me. Little me. He was so close I could feel his breath upon my forehead.
"Because I really want to do this" He said, grabbing my neck and reaching down to kiss me. His lips smothering mine. At first I tried to stop it. Fought against it. But eventually I gave in. My body falling into his, my mouth opening to his. His taste was sweet and daring. His body was tense and intimidating. It was like years of crushing and desiring had exploded all into one kiss. His hands grabbing at my back to pull me in tighter. His kisses burning into my memory.
Suddenly I heard my sister call out to me. I panicked at the thought of being caught so I ran and hid behind a tall fence. Casually Conor followed me. For a moment he was quiet and we just stood before each other. My body told me to have him, but my heart was telling me "no". My heart belonged to another. I truly and undoubtedly loved Josiah with all my heart. He was the epitome of a perfect future. He treated me like a queen. And this is how I repay him. My heart started to sink into my stomach. Butterflies from the deed I had just done.
"Are you alright?" Conor asked again. Placing his hands on my hips.
"I can't do this..." I paused, again with his lips a breath away from mine.
"He won't know. I promise" He urged. But I could already feel the guilt laying into me as I placed my hand on his chest. Perfect. I thought. His chest in perfect condition. I turned as he leaned in again. But as he went to pull away I found my hand clench at his collar and I dove back into him again. This time my hand rested perfectly between his collar bones, as his held my waist. We kissed.
I could feel him shiver as we stood in the cooling air outside. My body warm from alcohol still. We broke from a kiss as he guided my hand to his belt. I could feel him through his jeans. But this I could not do. This, my body said no.
"I'm not ready to do this. It's not fair. Josiah is a really good person. He really loves me."
"Okay" He whispered,
"Why me?" I asked, my body started to shake, "There are other girls inside that were begging for your attention, so why did you choose me?"
"Because you're the one that I want"
"You're just saying that" I rolled my eyes, "I know guys like you, you'll say anything to get into my pants"
"Guys like me?" He quietly laughed, "How do you know?"
"I don't, that's what scares me" I answered.
We kissed again, and maybe a few more times before he asked me if I wanted to be walked home. I couldn't run the risk of being around him for much longer as his body was simply tempting.
For me, the long walk home would serve as a good time to think. To really clear my head of him before I laid in bed with the love of my life. That was the plan anyway.