Heart and Soul

Surrounded by a sea of eternal darkness, I found myself covered in warmth and softness. A rare feeling in this area of the Underlands, warmth and softness of all kinds avoided the Boss’s compound at all cost. Hope and happiness didn’t flourish here either. I wondered most days if he fed off the anguish and remorse of those around him. Maybe that’s why he liked to take our hearts and punish us?

My chest felt heavy. Visions made my sore head optimistic. I watched the memories of her fade before me. Happiness filled her glossy blue eyes making them darker, an ocean of warmth and hope. She danced on the nonexistent wind, beautiful chestnut waves floating around her, caressing her pale skin. Music always filled her head though I never heard it. We laughed together, sitting in our favorite bar. Her teeth weren’t quite as white as a child’s, but that was because of her only vice. Coffee. A steaming cup sat in front of her and I sipped my blue labeled whiskey, my only vice next to her. The sleeve of her shirt fell slightly off her right shoulder revealing a small scar. She said it was a spell gone wrong, but I knew…she lied to me.

As the visions in my head continued, happiness dwindled into the oblivion of the dark sea. Thoughts of the many lies she told me betrayed my trust and content with her. ‘It’s just a spell gone wrong.’ ‘I’ll never leave you.’ ‘Don’t be silly. I’m not angry with you. My soul was meant for you.’ ‘I promise, I’ll always love you, Olai.’

She stopped dancing through my visions. The small smile that was left faded into bitterness. The bruises on her face became more apparent. She stood by his side, and as she glared, her eyes never met mine. They filled my chest with hatred. Those glassy blue eyes watched the left side of my chest, searching for something that was about to be taken from me…from her. ‘This is your fault, Olai.’ ‘I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t stolen from me!’ ‘I never loved you!’

My eyes flew open as my chest cracked open. I locked those images away. The images of joy and happiness, of pain and misery. They filled my stupid heart. It was supposed to save her. He swore if he had it she’d be free. But she wasn’t. That stupid beating nuisance. The evil thing that destroyed her, that made me into this monster!

Laughter filled my ears. My eyes wouldn’t adjust to the humored shadows. He lurked. I threw the blanket from my bruised aching body. The cuts from the bullwhip left me black and blue with a soreness that wouldn’t quit, but the bloodied mess of it was clean. I could hear his lips part in a cruel grin.

“You talk in your sleep, you know.” He spoke from his hiding place. Somewhere behind me.

“Really?” I answered sarcastically with a raised brow. I wondered if he saw it in some hidden reflective surface before me. There was no reflection, but that never stopped him before.

“Yes,” he barked a laugh.

“Why are you here?” I tried to stand. My legs gave beneath me.

“To see if your promise was a lie, Olai.” The last word he spoke—the nickname only she used—dripped like acid off his lips. He stepped from the shadows behind me and into my peripheral vision with a wretched smirk and a daring glare. He knew I was feeling it. The effects of having my soul removed. The memories that shouldn’t be here, but are.

“Go to hell.” I growled, mirroring his glare.

“Wouldn’t you like to know what I found out first?” He stepped closer.

“No!” I hissed forcing my legs to work this time. I turned to face him more.

“Your memories tell lies.” He laughed gleefully. A child like appearance crossed his sinister face. “She never said that last bit.”

“Get out!”

“She promised she’d always be here!” He bounced on his toes. “And I shoved a silver dagger through her heart.”

I wanted to choke the life out of him. To find that silver dagger and peel the skin from his chest until I found that miniscule black orb he called a heart.

“I told you there was no way you could have her, Nicholai. She was mine, just like this one.”

“I don’t want this one!” I growled. “I want my heart so I can be with…” I trailed off, not wanting to say her name. Not in front of him. It would only bring me pain, and add to his pleasure.

“You can’t! Remember!” His eyes lit up as he spoke, “her heart has a hole in it. You can’t bring her back, Olai.”

I tried to step forward, but my legs felt too weak again. If I moved I’d add to my humiliation. “I can be with her.” I hissed.

He clicked his tongue briskly and shook his head. “No, no, no! I can’t let my best pet go that easily.” He giggled. “But if you’re a good boy…”

I lunged. My knees buckled before the pain rushed through me. The floor hit my head, my temple, and I couldn’t do anything about it. His face contorted into a cruel demented version of happiness.

“Stop fighting, Nick.” He laughed as he stepped over me. “You’ll be well soon enough, and maybe even free too.” The door slammed behind him.

I closed my eyes pushing her face away. Hoping I’d never have to see her unhappy again. Instead of the eternal darkness, or her face, I saw something else behind my eyelids.

A smoky ball of pink light floated in front of me. It was warm and friendly, but I still hesitated to trust it. The lights of the city faded, leaving the grey world behind, casting it in blackness. I stumbled over something. A rock or a root maybe? Starch hissing to my right gave me a start and left me feeling jumpy. The light floated closer to the ground. I stepped in its smoky pink glow. I felt more alive the further I followed this life saving light.

My eyes fluttered open as I was lifted from the floor. “Stop being stupid,” Cassius growled in my ear. “People are dying because Boss is sending Micah out again! And Tyson needs you! They’re talking removal, and he’s scared. So buck up!”

“My old friend tucked me into bed as if I was a child. A restless sleep engulfed me as dreams of the smoky pink orb swirled behind my eyes.