Ineffable Plan

At around ten we left the suite. By midnight we were leaving the third frat party and heading towards the fourth. I was more than just a little buzzed. Mary had kept close to me. She was watching me and as the night progressed I disliked it more. The bad feeling in the pit of my stomach grew with every passing hour and from its intensity I knew that it was about me. Mary was a danger to me. I needed to distance myself from her and she was making it very difficult.

Once we got into the fourth frat house I lunged for the bathroom and managed to evade Mary, at least for a little while. The feeling in my gut had lessened exponentially as I moved further away from her and I knew then for certain that it was her. She was doing this to me.

After a few minutes in the bathroom I decided to leave. I cracked open the door and did a quick survey. Mary was no where around. I walked out the bathroom and into some one.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

I looked up and saw a gorgeous guy staring down at me. He looked more surprised than he should of. It was a frat party. He acted as though I popped out of thin air. I knitted my eyebrows at him. Just then our eyes connected and suddenly it was gone. The feeling. Just like that, I no longer had that nerve wrecking feeling of impending doom.

He noticed the sudden change in my expression. It seemed to snap him out of whatever daze he was in.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

I nodded.

"You don’t look ok,” he stated. "You look like you’ve just seen a ghost or something."

I shook my head and took a step away from him. "I’m fine."

I began to walk away but the feeling came back. With each step I took it got more and more intense. I felt nervous and scared and uncertain, again. By the time I was about ten feet away from him it was as bad as it was when I was last with Mary. What is going on?

I was leaning against the wall when I noticed that the guy had walked up to me. He was standing next to me and looking at me with that same surprised looked. With him this close the feeling was gone again. I was confused and the sudden changes were making me nauseous. The alcohol I had previously drunk wasn’t helping either.

"Are you sure you’re ok?" he asked me again. "Maybe you had a little too much to drink."

"I’m just a little nauseous. I think I need some air."

He nodded and walked with me outside. We walked a little, until we could talk without screaming. The frat house was still clearly visible.

"Are you ok, now?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine."

This time I really was. I felt perfectly fine and perfectly safe. Something that I thought was impossible to achieve while I was within a 500 foot radius of Mary. This was just weird. Why did this stranger make me feel so safe? Could he protect me from Mary?

I sat on the pavement quietly and he sat next to me. I was staring out into space and concentrating hard. I was trying to figure things out. I was replaying every incident in which the feeling had prevented me or someone near me from getting hurt. I’m sure it even saved my life a couple of times. I had a nasty knack for getting into trouble. It always went away once the danger was gone. But the danger wasn’t gone. Not really. Mary was still unnervingly close to me and she would always be. We lived in the same suite.

I thought about the first time it happened or at least the first time I can remember. I was eleven and my dad had taken my sister and I shopping. We had been out all morning and decided to stop for a quick lunch. My dad needed to go get some cash from the ATM in the bank.

My sister and I were standing at the ATM next to him when I felt it. It started with my stomach. Suddenly my stomach was in knots. Soon it felt like it was on fire and moments later the feeling was spreading. It wasn’t pain but it was intense. I felt almost unbearably panicked and nervous. I told my dad I wanted to leave and he gently told me to wait a second. He was almost done.

By then the feeling was unbearable and I was shaking violently. I could barely breathe. It was crippling. My sister noticed and pulled my dad around so that he could look at me. I remembered the expression on his face. He was petrified. I remember thinking that his terror seemed out of place. Worry, I could understand, but why was he so scared. He quickly scooped me up in one hand and grabbed my sister’s arm with the other. He got us out of the bank quickly and kept looking around nervously.

The feeling had decrease dramatically. I stopped shaking and was able to breathe easy again. It was subsiding. Once it was completely gone I looked up at my dad. He was staring down at me. He asked if I was ok. He asked if I felt better. I nodded my head and he looked relieved. I still can’t forget the look of terror in his eyes.

Just a few minutes later we heard the bank's alarms go off and then gunshots were fired. The bank was robbed that day. Four people were killed.

"He knew."

I was ripped out of my thoughts by the voice of the stranger sitting next to me. He was looking at me like I had grown an extra head. He still wore that expression of surprise or confusion or whatever it was only now he looked intrigued as well.

Remembering, I looked at him and repeated the words he just spoke "He knew?"

He didn’t respond. He just kept staring at me. "What are you talking about? Who knew what?"

"Your dad. He knew."

"What do you mean my dad knew? Why are you talking about?" I spit out quickly.

“You were thinking about your dad… about what happened when he took you and your sister shopping… that day at the bank.”

“What!” I screamed a little. “How did you… how could you have… what?”

"You were thinking so hard you were practically screaming it. It was hard not to listen."

"What are you talking about? How do you know what I was thinking?"

A look of complete horror flashed over his face but he quickly composed himself.

"You were thinking out loud," he answered coolly.

My eyes opened wide in shock. I can’t believe I did that. I was telling him that stupid story without meaning too. He probably thought that I was some kind of freak.

"I don’t think you’re a freak," he said quietly.

I shot my head in his direction and knitted my eyebrows.

"You were thinking out loud again."

I frowned and sighed heavily. I must be losing my mind.

"Maybe you have had too much to drink. Come on." He stood up and put his hand out to help me up. "I’ll walk you back to your dorm."