Paradise City

This was frustrating.

Dean and I hadn't talked in days. That is, unless you count him banging on my door at random times of the day, asking me to come out and talk to him. He was leaving tomorrow, and half of me wanted to set things straight. The other half, well, that was the stubborn half.

Most of my days were spent in the fitness room, taking my anger out on the treadmill; I couldn't physically go anywhere to get away from Dean. I still had no job and no friends, and I wasn't really up for going anywhere by myself. Running in place would have to suffice. And it did, until he would show up. I did my best to ignore him, but the sight of him lifting weights without a shirt on was a little too much for me to handle, and I would end up just going back upstairs.

I had been talking to James about coming to visit me for a few days. He said if he could get the time off, he'd be here in a heartbeat. I was excited at the thought of getting to see my best friend again. I missed him too much. Having him here could definitely boost my spirits, and of course, he could talk some sense into me. Help me figure out what I was supposed to do.

Maybe just forget about Dean all together, My subconscious screamed at me. I couldn't do that, though. He was a part of me. No matter how much I was mad at him, I couldn't take back what had happened between us over the past few months. I gave him everything I had, and I didn't regret it, I just wish that it would have been taken a little bit more seriously. He threatened Reece in the middle of a busy, Vegas street for me. He had my dad's record player fixed for my birthday. He took me to see the Grand Canyon. He was there for me after my apartment was broken into, after I lost my job.

That's why this was so frustrating.

Just go apologize, The reasonable half of my stated firmly.

I looked at the clock, it was late, and he was probably asleep. I wasn't sure what time his flight was in the morning, but I couldn't let this go for another four weeks. It felt so wrong not talking to him.

He opened the door, hair disheveled, only wearing a pair of boxers.

"Hey," I said softly. "Can we talk for a minute?"

A small sigh escaped his lips as he briefly looked over his shoulder. "I don't think this is a good time."

"I just wanted to apologize befo-"

My words stopped short as I saw a petite blonde woman walk from the direction of his bedroom. "Dean? Is everything okay?"

The blood beneath my skin felt like it evaporated, my heart sunk into my stomach, and I suddenly felt cold. This was a joke, right? Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out from behind the door and tell me I was punked? Hilarious!

A few silent seconds passed by, and upon realizing that this was actually happening, I turned on my heel and headed straight for the elevator.

"Callie, wait." I jabbed the 'down' button with my finger a good thirty times. "Come on, Callie. Please?"

"So you don't want to have sex with me, but you'll have sex with someone else? That makes a lot of sense, Dean." This time there was no hiding the tears, because there weren't any. It wasn't sadness in my voice that made it tremble. It was anger.

"I'm sorry, Callie." That was all he said. Like those were the magic words, and I'd suddenly not be angry anymore.

"Sorry for what? Making me think that whatever this was meant something to you? Because it obviously doesn't. Sorry for making me think that you respected me enough to be honest with me? What are you sorry for, Dean?"

This elevator was taking forever. Dean opened his mouth to say something, but the doors finally opened. I stepped inside, turning around to see him standing in the doors, keeping them from closing.

"Whatever you have to say, whatever you're going to apologize for, save it. I'm done with you. You were right, I'm not like those girls that you picked up outside of an arena, but you sure have done a good job in making me feel like one."

I pushed him as hard as I could out of the elevator so that the doors could close. Once they did, the anger subsided and the sadness set in. My mind was racing a mile a minute, and the only thing that I could think to do was get in my car and just drive. I thought about driving all the way to Tennessee, if I could do it in one straight shot without having to stop, I probably would have.

After circling the city, a few times, I stopped at a gas station. I leaned up against the car as I waited for my car to fill up, and sighed. How stupid have I been? I believed everything he said. Like how he wouldn't hurt me. I was right, this was all a game to him. He got bored of playing and decided to get up and walk away. Who cares what happened while the game was going on? Who cares about the other players? Not Dean.

I threw caution out the window and trusted him, and all that I expected was honesty. Maybe he had expected me to catch on because he never asked me to be his girlfriend. Maybe because it wasn't 'official' meant that it didn't matter. Well, it did matter. It mattered to me a lot more than it should have. Here I was pretending that I didn't care what was going on between us, but it felt like my whole world had just shattered.

I kept repeating to myself over and over again that I should'nt have gotten so invested. I shouldn't have done this, or I shouldn't have done that. But it didn't matter. I couldn't take it back. The damage had already been done.

"Callie!" I heard as I twisted the gas cap back on. "Hey!"

I looked up to see Violet, the woman who did my hair the night Dean took me out for my birthday. My stomach churned at the memory. "Hey, Violet." I said to her, but I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

"How've you been? How'd the big date go?"

There was no escaping this, was there? "It went good! The hair was a success, thank you."

"Good, I'm glad he liked it." She paused for a moment, probably noticing my tear stained cheeks. "Hey, we're about to go out for a drink. Uh, would you like to come?"

"I'm not really dressed for drinks." I replied, tugging at my t-shirt. However, I noticed that Violet was wearing a pair of high-waist shorts and a t-shirt that was tucked in. She wasn't going to buy it.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

I must be too nice for my own good, because the next thing I knew I was sitting at some dive bar with Violet and a few of her friends. Despite wanting to get completely trashed and forget about Dean and that girl that he was with, I slowly sipped on a Sprite. Violet's friends tried to make conversation with me, but I gave them all two worded answers and eventually they gave up. I should have just gone home.

Violet slid into the booth next to me after her friends abandoned me for the dance floor.

"Boy problems?" She asked.

"Yeah, but I don't really want to talk about it. I've already gotten advice from everyone, and they all tell me the same thing. Talk to him, just talk to him, communication is key. But I tried that, and low and behold he's got some other girl in his apartment with him. What else am I supposed to do? Listen to him apologize to me, and not mean a single word of it?"

She shrugged. "I don't know him, and I don't know the situation, but it sounds to me like maybe you guys just need to take a break. You obviously care about him, if you didn't you wouldn't be upset. So maybe just take a little break and then reevaluate yourself. Give him time to reevaluate himself."

I nodded.

"I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. One day I came home and he was banging his coworker in our bed. I left, I moved out, and didn't talk to him again for six months. Then we started off as friends, and things were good, and ultimately we just realized that there isn't going to be anyone else. He made a mistake, I forgave him. Not saying that you and Dean are the same way, but some time away will tell."

"I hope you're right. I know I was wrong in the fact that I didn't listen to him explain himself, but he's just so bad at explaining himself." I told her.

"Most men are." She laughed. "You know, maybe he just doesn't know how to handle it. Maybe he's not used to committing, so he's reverting back to old ways? That's not the way to do things, but since when do men do the right thing on the first try?"

She was absolutely right, or I was just agreeing with her because I had no idea what I was doing. Still, it was hard to see anything past the blonde in his apartment. They were probably together right now, he was probably telling her not to worry about that girl in the hallway, probably telling her that girl wasn't important. I'll let him have tonight, and the next month to do whatever he wants. But as soon as he comes back, come hell or high water, I'm going to figure out just exactly how much I meant to him.