Paradise City

Violet didn't invite Dean to Thanksgiving dinner.

I didn't, because I was banking on her being sneaky and quietly sending him a text without me knowing. I was actually hoping that she did. So when Toby, and Catherine, and Kyle all showed up with casseroles and desserts in their hands- minus Kyle because he couldn't cook even if he tried- I was left the odd man out, once again. I didn't have James, and I didn't have Dean, and I was trying not to think to much about it because the reason I had no one was my own fault.

"You didn't invite Dean?" Violet asked me as I was helping her put the finishing touches on the green bean casserole. Catherine was mixing a bowl of peanut butter cookie mix, she looked up awaiting my answer.

"I was actually hoping that you did." I told her. She gave me a confused look. "It just seems like something you'd do."

A loud yell came from the living room. Violet looked over her shoulder to see Kyle and Toby playing video games. "Quiet down, what do you think this is National Video Game Day? Thanksgiving is about peace!" She shook her head and looked back at me. "Have you tried calling him? Maybe he's in town." She gasped. "Maybe he's spending Thanksgiving alone! You have to call him, Cal."

I looked at Catherine who also nodded at me. "Fine," I said to them as I wiped my hands off and grabbed my phone from the counter.

It was a warm day in Vegas, as usual. November weather shouldn't have been in the low seventies, but I'd take this over Tennessee weather any day. I sat out on the front porch in one of Violet's lawn chairs and pressed the little, green button next to Dean's name. It rang six times and then went to voicemail. I hung up immediately, ready to give up. He didn't answer, meaning he probably doesn't want to talk, right? I couldn't do that, however, because I promised Violet that I would try harder.

In this case, trying harder meant calling him one more time just in case.

"Hello?" He asked. Of course I began panicking right away, not having thought this whole thing through. I needed to apologize, but I wasn't going to do that over the phone. Part of me wished he didn't answer so I could just leave him a voicemail. That would have been so much easier and I could still say that I at least tried. "Callie?"

"Hey," I said casually. "Uh, are you in town?"

"Why?" The question itself struck me as odd.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner with Violet and I, and Kyle too, and his brother, and his brother's girlfrie-"

"Callie, I'm going to tell you what you told me. We aren't together. So why would I be interested in spending time with you and your friends?"

That wasn't what I was expecting, but it should have been. I had been a downright bitch to him the last time we spoke. In fact, I've been nothing but a bitch to him since I met him, pretty much. "Right, yeah, it was a stupid question. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

I hung up the phone and stared at it for a minute. Every time we had argued, I still counted on the fact that he was still going to be there. He was always there, he said he was always going to be there. Yet, he wasn't now, and it was my fault. I pushed too hard and he let go. Why would he hold on? Other than the fact that I've treated him like shit for months, I'm nothing but a soggy, wet sack of damaged goods. I have been for a while now.

Violet lifted her eyebrows at me when I came back into the kitchen. Everyone sat around the table as I took my seat next to Violet. "He's out of town," I mumbled to her and I scooped a spoonful of creamed corn on my plate. I could see her frown out of the corner of my eye.

Throughout the entire dinner, I picked at my food; mostly shoving it around on my plate. I wasn't interested in what anyone was talking about. All that I could think about was how I was going to fix this. The first step was admitting I needed to fix it, I did that. The second step is believing that I could fix it. That was a little bit of a problem, because I was thinking in terms of what Dean would do. If I was him, I would cut my losses and move on. He's a great guy and there would be no problem in finding someone who could make him a hell of a lot happier.

I wanted that to be me. I wanted to make him happy, and I could do that if just let go of myself; cut ties with the dead horse that was my stubbornness. The belief that I could fix this stemmed from that. It stemmed from how happy I wanted to make him.

"Kyle," I interrupted whatever conversation was going on. "Was Dean home when you left?"

"Yeah, why?" He asked. I stood up and grabbed a plate out of the cupboard and started piling all kinds of food on it.

"I thought you said he was out of town?" Violet asked me.

I didn't answer either of them, and continued making a plate that would suit a king. When I was finished, I wrapped aluminum foil over the top and grabbed my keys from the bowl. I drove as fast as I could to his place, hoping that he would still be there. When I got there, I let out a sigh of relief to see his SUV in his usual parking spot.

Jose the security guy, was sitting in his booth next to the entrance of the apartment eating a donut. I knocked hard on the door, hoping to catch his attention. "Callie, what are you doing here?" He asked as he opened the door for me.

"No time to explain, Jose." I brushed past him and headed for the elevator. "By the way, you've got a little powder on your chin."

I could hear the game on the television as I stood outside Dean's door. I was out of breath and clammy and nervous. This was life or death- well, maybe not that serious- but either I fixed this, right here and now, or it was over. Sink or swim.

I balanced the plate of food in one hand and knocked on his door. Play it cool, Callie. Play it cool. Don't overdo it. You're just here to bring him some friendly Thanksgiving dinner and hopefully sweep him off his feet in the process. Just play it cool.

He didn't look surprised at all to see me. He looked more annoyed than anything, but I ignored it; chalking it up to the fact that I just interrupted his football game. "What do you want?" He asked, shifting his weight on to one foot.

"I want to spend Thanksgiving with you." I said as I offered him the plate. "And your birthday, and Christmas, and New Year's, Valentine's Day, Saint Patrick's Day. I want to spend everyday with you, Dean."

He didn't say anything. He took the plate out of my hand and walked back into his apartment, leaving the door open for me to follow. "Turkey, mac and cheese, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes. It looks delicious." He said.

"Violet and I worked hard on it. There was way too much." I replied.

"I appreciate it," he said. "I'll have some later."

Dean sat back down on the couch and turned the volume down on the TV, patting the spot next to him for me to sit down. I did so, searching his face for an expression, wondering what was going through his mind.

"A few months before you moved here, I was in another relationship." He began. "Well, I wouldn't call it a relationship. It didn't last very long. Not long at all, in fact. A couple nights maybe." He scratched the back of his neck, nervously, and I wondered where he was going with this. "She just kind of used me, I guess. I was there, and she had just broken up with her boyfriend, and I had liked her for the longest time."

"That always seems to be where I'm at," he said. "I'm never the guy. I'm always the guy you hook up with. It wasn't just that girl, it was every girl. The woman you met, Whitney, she's the same way. That's where you were different. I told you before, the night you went to Raw with me, that I liked that you actually lasted for more than just a couple of nights. You cared about who I am and not how I can get you off or what you can get out of me."

"We should have been more careful doing what we were doing, I know." He told me. "I didn't use protection, and I should have, that was really stupid on my part. But I think a part of me maybe didn't want to, and I understand that we should have talked about it, but starting something real with you would have been totally okay by me. I guess I thought that it would have been okay with you, too."

"It would have." I told him.

"When Violet called me and told me that you were in the hospital, I panicked. But when I got there and they told me why you were there, I was angry. I couldn't understand why you wouldn't tell me. But Violet asked me to hear you out, and said that you had a reason, and after I thought about it, I understood why you waited. You waited because you know that my career means more to me than anything."

"But I wanted to be there for you. I couldn't stand the fact that you were angry at me, or that you hated me, and that you were going through that alone. Do you get it, Callie? It wasn't that I was 'disrespecting' the fact that you wanted space, it was that I could handle not being around you. It drove me fucking crazy. Every day that I'm out there, going from city to city, I miss you. All that I can think about is you. And that's not the easiest thing in the world for me to admit. I don't like feeling like someone has complete control over me, but you do, Callie."

I waited for a moment, just to make sure he was finished talking. "I have no idea what I'm doing, Dean. I'm one big mess, and I didn't know how to handle being with you, so I took it out on you and pushed you away. I'm sorry for that. I moved to Vegas to get away from that tiny, sad town and I never thought that I'd meet someone like you. You know, you never expect things to happen to you until they do, and then you're just lost and unprepared. If I could go back and change everything, I would. But the one thing that I would never and could never change is meeting you, and being with you, and falling in love with you."

He looked at me, and for a moment, I wondered if I had said the wrong thing. "You were always there, and I latched on to you, but it scared the hell out of me. I took you for granted and I came this close to losing you, and it would have been my fault. I don't want you to go anywhere, and I'll never tell you to go anywhere, and please just don't ever leave me."

Dean held his arm open to me and I snuggled into his side. "I don't want to." He said, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. "But, right now I'm hungry so-" He stood up off of the couch, leaving me there, ruining that perfect moment that might as well have come straight out of a romantic comedy film. When he came back, he sat down beside me again and handed me a fork. "Since you made a plate for two."

"I was trying to be subtle." I said with a small smile on my face.

"You walked around my apartment naked for a week. You don't know how to be subtle."

"Shut up," I told him with a mouth full of turkey leg.

"You're gross." He replied, turning the volume back up on the game.

"You love it."

"Yeah, I do."