Columbine

“Will you hold still?” Sarah growled at me as she jabbed pins into my scalp. I let out a squeal and attempted to escape for the zillionth time in the last hour.

“It hurts, damn it!” I yelled, whimpering as the pin pierced the poor, abused flesh on my head yet again.

“Beauty hurts. Now stay still!” She finally screamed.

Besides the fact that we were both nervous as hell, Sarah had spent all day trying to revolutionize my appearance with the cunning use of makeup and hair accessories. It was obviously more difficult than she’d imagined it would be.

I assumed that it was the only way that she could cope with the fact that in a mere few hours, the Blood Bank would be open for the first time.

Yes. Open. For the very first time.

We were all about to lose a very different kind of virginity. It was a kind of virginity that went millions of miles beyond the physical. This time, the worries went beyond whether it would be enjoyable or dreadful. There were more emotions mixing in me than I could count. Anxiety. Fear. Anticipation. Wonder. Impatience. Horror. There was also that disturbingly urgent desire to scream.

And the unpleasant, chiding reminder that it could all very easily go wrong. The Demataxt could easily just walk in and expose us all. We could be executed within the week if even one person let it slip out that the Blood Bank even hypothetically existed.

Dennis and his friends had been spreading the word about our grand opening for the past month. We’d even released a special announcement that Charlie had read out in front of an enormous crowd that had gathered in the pub a couple weeks ago. People knew about us and what we were doing.

The fact that mages hadn’t busted in and arrested us all almost seemed strange. With the reward that was on Sarah’s head, as well as mine, I could only chalk it up to some fluke of nature. People’s desire for money usually outweighed their sense of decency and their desire to protect others from the law.

“Okay, I think I’ve almost got it.” Sarah panted.

“Really?” I said flatly. “Are you sure about that? Because maybe there’s an extra thousand needles you’d like to stick into my skull -- just to add a little more pep, you know?”

Sarah reached into the drawer in her dresser and revealed a canister of hair spray. My jaw dropped. How did we live in a world where clean water was less accessible than hair spray? It was the world of my nightmares.

She approached me with the hair spray held out in front of her like a weapon.

“Don’t be afraid.” She said, almost coaxingly. “This won’t hurt a bit.”

I looked for something to block the cloud of toxic gas that was sure to come at me any second, but found nothing. Every single book and towel had been cleverly hidden. How had I not noticed it before? Sarah had to have known that I’d want to block the bio-weapon and taken all the necessary precautions. I clenched my eyes shut and held my breath, readying myself for the doom that was coming closer and closer.

A hissing sound filled the air, and I could smell the chemicals being released right at my face. I began to cough uncontrollably as the spray kept coming into my mouth and nostrils. I was almost sure I’d suffocate when Sarah finally stopped spraying me with the venomous beauty-gas.

“There.” She announced proudly. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

I glared at her.

She didn’t seem to notice that I was killing her in my mind as she hummed while putting all her tools of torture away into a canvas bag.

“You’ll pay for this.” I promised.

“You mean for making you beautiful?” Sarah grinned. “Look in the mirror. You’ll see.”

I reluctantly turned around to face the mirror. At first, I didn’t recognize my own face. Every kind of makeup had been lathered on it to the point where my face felt abnormally heavy. I tentatively touched my cheek, as if to make sure that it was really me that I saw in the mirror. I felt the fingers touch my skin, which was still somehow not enough to prove that it was really my face.

“See?” Sarah chirped, clapping me on the back. “I told you it’d be worth it.”

My mouth dropped open, but not in surprise, as Sarah probably thought, but in horror. My lips were painted a girly pink color, and my eyes were rimmed with surgically precise strokes of black. And my hair--my hair had suffered the worst of Sarah’s attack. It was glossy, and looked like it would be soft to touch, but when I did touch it, I was shocked to find that it was cemented in a statue-like condition.

“What the hell have you done to me!” I yelled, whirling around to face Sarah. She didn’t seem to hear me. Instead she shoved something into my unwilling arms.

“Put it on.” She commanded.

I looked down at the thing in my arms, and almost choked on my own spit. Not only was it a dress, but it was low cut and had tiny roses sewn onto the collar and the edges of the sleeves. It was vaguely shiny, and the fabric felt uncomfortable even in my hands. It was a dark red color, and I knew it would turn me into a woman as soon as I put it on.

“No.” I said firmly.

Sarah frowned, but not in a defeated way. It was more of a “you’re making this harder on yourself” frown. I swallowed, shuffling farther back, away from Sarah. I knew it was all futile, but, like countless other times, my instinct prevailed.

“Columbine.” Sarah said. “Put it on, or I will put it on for you.”

That was one thing that I wanted less than being assaulted with hair spray or having pins jabbed into my cranium. I bit my lip and started to take off my pajamas. Sarah stared at me like an eagle as I grudgingly slid into the stupid dress, adjusting the skirt and straightening the sleeves. It was as uncomfortable as I’d imagined.

I saw, to my chagrin, that Sarah was smiling. It meant that she liked what she saw. If she liked what she saw, then I was definitely not going to like it one bit.

She maneuvered me around until I was facing the mirror again. I froze as I sized up the stranger that appeared in front of me. I didn’t recognize the girl in the mirror at all!

For one thing, my breasts didn’t normally look like they existed. The dress had somehow emphasized them to the point where they looked almost ample. Also, I’d never really noticed all the curves that I’d had. I now saw that my waist really did cave in before my hips jutted outward, much more feminine than I’d ever thought they were.

“Well?” Sarah smiled. “I think you look nice.”

“Shut up.” I muttered, plopping down into the chair and putting the too-tall shoes on. They were also dark red, and looked almost like life-sized Barbie shoes. My feet cried out in pain as they took on the shape of the shoes.

“Ha!” Sarah said triumphantly. “I knew it!”

“Knew what?” I asked.

“That you’d see how pretty you really are.”

I wasn’t about to put myself down, since there were plenty of people who could do it for me, so I simply said, “thanks”, and reclined in the chair as Sarah put her own dress on. It was a green one, with straps and little green sparkles sewn into the fabric. It matched her blond hair almost perfectly.

“You look nice.” I commented awkwardly.

“You’re so sweet.” Sarah smiled, dabbing lipstick onto her mouth. It was a slightly darker shade of pink than the one she’d used on me.

I looked down at my feet in silence. Now that the dress-up ceremony was over with, there was nothing to distract me from what was coming. People. Lots and lost of people. People who wanted to hear music and have fun. People who, according to Dennis, needed a reminder of what they stood for. People that could easily rat us out and get us killed. People to whom we owed the Blood Bank and all the music that came with it.

“You ready?” Sarah asked, having finished doing her own makeup.

“No.” I said, but stood up anyway. I’d never be ready, so I might as well throw myself into the fire and hope for minimal burns.

I wobbled on my shoes as Sarah and I made our way up to the main hall, where Valentin, Charlie, Scarlett, and Dennis were waiting. Never before had walking taken so much effort and concentration.

“Well, well, well!” Charlie exclaimed when he saw us. “You certainly took long enough down there.”

“Whatever.” Sarah muttered, stalking past Charlie. She’d managed to refrain from insulting him, which was a fairly good sign. Charlie’s eyes stuck to her, or, more appropriately, they stuck to her ass. The dress she was wearing was a little tight around her legs, so he probably got a fairly good view of it as she walked up to Scarlett.

“Pervert.” I told him.

He opened his mouth and turned his head to face me, but for some reason, he didn’t say anything. He just stared at me in a very weird way. He didn’t bother closing his mouth either.

“What?” I snapped, feeling my face turn red. He blinked, and immediately closed his mouth.

“You sure clean up nice.” He grinned. I wanted to hit him, but at that moment, Dennis came up to me. He, like Charlie and Valentin, was garbed in a tux. I had no idea how everyone had obtained one, but I wasn’t interested enough to ask questions.

“Nice dress.” He said. “It brings out your eyes.”

I didn’t really know what that meant. My eyes were brown. The dress was red. He was obviously lying.

“Um…okay.” I said awkwardly.

“It’ll be dark soon. People will probably start turning up in thirty minutes or so.” He informed me.

“Great.” I almost squeaked.

At that moment, Sarah snatched me away and dragged me into a huddle with Scarlett.

“What?” I snapped.

“They were totally checking you out!” Scarlett informed me.

“Did you see Charlie?” Sarah grinned. “He was practically drooling!”

I suddenly felt nauseous. The last thing I needed was to get drooled on, or get checked out, or however else you could possibly put it. Either way, I didn’t need it.

“Uh…okay.” I muttered, and very slowly backed away from them. “I think I’ll get a glass of water.”

I escaped to the kitchen and closed the door. I fell into a chair and tried to take a few deep breaths. They didn’t help much. Somehow, the approaching grand opening of the Blood Bank caused more anxiety than a few deep breaths could cure. What a surprise.

“Damn it.” I whispered to myself. I felt doomed. My dress was to showy. My shoes were too high. My face was too heavy. Everyone was staring at me too much. The grand opening was too risky. And the worst part was that there was no stopping it. It was going to happen because I’d made it happen. All this -- this night, this entire set up -- was almost entirely caused by me.

In that instant, I knew that I wasn’t ready. I’d been a total idiot to think that this was a good idea. It was like I was in a glass box that was filling up with water. There was no escape, and the water would only continue to rise until I drowned. It was death approaching, and I couldn’t stop it now. Everyone was ready except me.

“Columbine?” Valentin asked, knocking on the kitchen door.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“Sure.” I lied after a moment of consideration.

The door opened and Valentin came in. I glanced over at him very quickly, not wanting to look longer than was strictly necessary.

“You’re nervous.” He said. It wasn’t a question.

“You think?” I asked sarcastically.

He sat down across from me. He was also wearing a tux. I swallowed, unwillingly noticing that he looked extremely good in it. The fabric of his suit was just the right amount of tight, and I couldn’t help but want to look again.

“We have anxiety pills, if you want them.” He offered.

I shook my head, although taking some meds would probably have been a good idea. It was probably the masochist in me refusing them.

“It’s too late to back out of this now. You know that.” He said. It wasn’t a question either.

“Yeah, well I’m still allowed to worry, aren’t I?” I shrugged.

“Of course.” He said.

“Well, there you go.” I said.

We sat like that for about another minute, until Valentin spoke.

“Remember when you told me you wanted to open a dance club?” He asked, smiling a little.

“Yeah.” I nodded. It had been one of the few surprising times when we hadn’t argued.

“You told me that you didn’t care how risky it was. It was a chance you were willing to take.” He reminded me.

I swallowed. Had I used those exact words? I’d clearly overestimated my own character then, and now that I knew that, I wanted to die of shame. I could barely believe how stupid I’d been.

“You’re not alone, you know.” Valentin said. “All of us are together on this. You don’t have to worry so much.”

I glared at him, but the sincerity in his eyes soon blew the glare right off my face. He looked pretty damn sure that nothing would go wrong. Somehow that certainty flowed over to me and I didn’t feel nearly as defeated as I had a moment ago.

“It’s going to happen either way.” I said, more to myself than to him. “Worrying won’t make any difference.”

“Exactly.” He agreed. “So get up and get out there.”

He got up and held out his hand to me. I wanted very much to refuse it, but remembered that I was wearing stilts on my feet. With a sigh, I grudgingly accepted his help and carefully got out of the chair. His hand almost completely engulfed mine, and I felt unusually warm for a minute. He let go of my hand, but the ghost of his touch stayed on my skin. I discreetly rubbed my hand on my dress.

“And you do look nice, by the way.” He smiled, as if I should have been expecting him to comment on my appearance.

“Thanks.” I said, and then tactfully added, “You’re not half bad yourself.”

He smiled and opened the door for me, which I found mildly embarrassing as I walked out of the kitchen and back into the main hall. The glow sticks were appropriately dimmed, giving the lab a more nighttime sort of look. It was the perfect look for a dance club. We’d been planning on somehow making flashing lights, but it hadn’t worked out, so we’d bumped that project down on the list of priorities.

“You guys ready?” Dennis asked all of us.

“I’d think so.” Charlie shrugged.

“Good, because they’re on their way. They’ll be here in about five minutes.” Dennis said. “I’d get ready if I were you.”

Scarlett took the bucket of red water out of it’s hiding place, took the lid off, and posed the anticoagulant over the frozen water.

Despite the heartbeat that was between my ears, I could hear people coming closer and closer, their footsteps and voices echoing through the underground maze, through hall of the lab, until finally they began to filter into the main hall.

The sight of each new visitor was stamped into my vision so hard, I didn’t think that I’d forget a single face. They were all clad in clothes that were dressier than usual. The girls were in skirts and heels -- some of them about the same height as mine. Despite the dimmed lights, I could tell that most of them were wearing makeup and jewelry. From what I could tell, they were party clothes. The guys were dressed in jeans and shirts, some of them without sleeves. They too were in dance-club clothes.

Now that I actually saw the people that the Blood Bank would be servicing, I calmed down significantly. Most of my suspicions were either put down completely, or permanently put to rest.

The level of noise in the hall skyrocketed as they took in their surroundings and began saying things to each other. They were all wide-eyed and most of them were starting to smile.

Charlie dragged me up onto the stage before I knew what he was doing. When the crowd that had gathered in the main hall saw us up there, they all got quiet.

“Good evening, everyone!” He announced.

His voice boomed throughout the hall -- almost unnaturally. Sarah had probably found enough kindness in her heart to facilitate the process of announcing for him.

“...And welcome to the Blood Bank.” He said. “As you probably all know, we have discovered a very special way to bring recorded music back to life. If you will give us a minute, we’ll start it, and then you can all have the fun that you deserve!”

The volume skyrocketed again. Everyone was practically jumping up and down with anticipation. I saw Scarlett pour all of the anticoagulant into the bucket that was placed carefully in the corner, where no one could disturb it.

“Why’d you drag me up here?” I hissed at Charlie. He didn’t answer. He just grinned sadistically, before making another announcement.

“May I have everyone’s attention for one moment!” He yelled. Everyone shut up and looked at him. It was then that he grabbed me and officially showed me to everyone.

“Please give a round of applause to the girl that made all this possible: Ms. Columbine Wells!”

And that was when the music boomed to life, and everyone just cheered. They screamed, whistled, applauded, and just went utterly wild as soon as the music began to play. People hugged each other, screamed joyously, jumped up and down, clapping their hands -- randomly at first, and then in time to the beat of the song. And just like that, they all began to dance.

I stared at the scene that had unfolded itself with such perfect timing and clarity. Every last drop of worry that I’d had simply evaporated, leaving me limp with calm and joy. Everything I’d done and gone through, everything I’d worried about, everything I’d worked for had led up to this totally perfect moment.

Only one thought kept playing over and over in my head: I’d made all these people happy.

It was indirect, and no one knew the specifics, but I knew it, and that was more than enough. The sight of so many smiling faces was almost overwhelming, and I nearly cried with the joy of it.

Even as Charlie and I got off the stage and went over to join Sarah, Valentin, and Scarlett, I felt like I was floating on a cloud even though I was wearing shoes fresh out of the suicide store.

“We totally fucking did it!” Sarah said triumphantly, and all of us were shortly crammed into a clumsy, erratic, hug that celebrated our victory.