Food, Cats, and Being Lazy

My week was made. Nothing could bring me down from this high. I got along with people in classes. I didn’t feel like as much of a loner for once. I even forgot that people were making fun of my haircut. I sat and watched soaps with my mom (but then she wanted me to get involved and watch the next episode, so I had to quickly run away to my room). And Paige was spending all her free time trying to comfort Hannah. She didn’t bother me either.

Hannah came over to our house over the weekend and cried in Paige’s room about her breakup. I felt bad for her. I really did. But I was happy at the same time because I just happened to overhear her saying that Collin broke up with her because she made out with someone else at a party when she was drunk. And that he refused to take her back. She also speculated that he had a crush on someone else and was just looking for an excuse to get rid of her. But she didn’t know who it was. And okay, I was eavesdropping.

I knew it was a long shot, but I really hoped that person was me. Then we could go out, and I could get a makeover like Princess Mia Thermopolis, and I’d show up at prom all perfect, and everyone would be jealous. But I wasn’t going to get my braces off until winter, and I couldn’t go to prom because I was only a sophomore. Unless Collin asked me. Then I could go.

When I got to school the following Monday, I waited for Laura in the atrium, but she didn’t show up. I figured she wasn’t at school, so I went to PE on my own. Finally, she showed up in English class, and her sister must have finally talked her mom into letting her do her own thing because she looked—cute. She was wearing a stylish outfit and got a haircut with pink and everything. I was kind of jealous. But I wanted to be supportive. So I wrote her a note and passed it to her when I went to sharpen my pencil. She didn’t write back. And when I left class, I found the note in the trash can by the door.

I decided I’d wait in the atrium again at lunch because she’d have to pass through it to get to the stairwell. She didn’t show up. And I started to think maybe she wasn’t coming after all. But then a group of girls came through, and she was right there in the middle of them. I didn’t know if they’d always been friends or just decided to adopt her now that she looked so cool. But they were all giggling and talking about how fabulous her hair was.

Laura was the only person who had never treated me like I was a waste of space. Or at least I thought she was. I stood up when she came in and lifted my bag.

“Laura, hey,” I said. She turned around, and all the girls turned on me. One of them whispered something to her, and she looked me up and down as if she was ashamed of ever spending lunch with me.

“Um—Can I help you?” she asked. Like I was a stranger. I blinked a few times.

“I was wondering if you wanted to eat lunch with me?” I could see the panic on her face. She didn’t want them to think we were friends. She was embarrassed by me. And she was wracking her brain trying to find a way to get out of it without giving our friendship away.

“Um—why would I want to do that?” she asked.

I wanted to call her out and remind her that we had lunch together every day since freshman year. But the girls were staring at her, and she looked so anxious. She knew as well as I did that I could tell her secret to them. That she was just as nerdy as me under all those cool clothes and pink hair. But I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of calling her out. They’d go after me. They’d all join in on attacking me, and she’d let them and never feel sorry for it.

“Never mind,” I said. “Forget it.”

I grabbed my backpack and hurried out of the atrium to go to the stairwell alone. I sat down on the bottom step and tried not to be hurt about it. But my hands were shaking, and I was hurt anyway. Laura and I weren’t best friends, but she was the only one I had for a while. Now I had no one. And before I knew it, I was crying at school. I wasn’t even all that upset that she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I was upset about how she’d done it. All it took was a new wardrobe and hair dye for her to push me aside. Like she was better than me.

When the bell rang, my eyes were red and puffy, and I didn’t want to go to class. I would just sit there until someone found me, and then I’d deal with it. So I wrapped my arms around my knees, plugged in my headphones, and drowned out my own pity party with the CD I found in the mailbox.

My headphones weren’t up very high, so I could hear it if someone came down the hall. No one found me for the first half of the period. Then I heard the door upstairs open and footsteps. I stayed right where I was. If it was a teacher or security, they’d just tell me to get to class. But of course it wasn’t. It was my sister’s boyfriend. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs in front of me, and then he stood there with his hand on the door handle.

“Pip?” he asked. I didn’t know why he called me that. I never asked anyone to call me that, and he usually never spoke to me directly.

“Go away,” I said. He sat down next to me.

“What’s going on?” I shrugged.

“Nothing.”

“Your tears say otherwise.”

“I’m not going to tell you because then you’ll tell Paige, and she’ll just make fun of me. She always does.”

“I don’t tell her everything, you know?” I sniffed.

“It’s nothing. I’m just—tired of people treating me like dirt.”

“Who treated you like dirt? You want me to kick their ass?” I laughed. I appreciated it. Vincent was always friendly to me. I forgot that at least one person didn’t make me feel like a waste of space. Even though he was popular and cute and Paige was mean to me. He always at least tried to be nice.

“It’s okay,” I told him. I wiped my eyes again. “It was a girl. We’ve had lunch together every day since freshman year. But now she got a cool new outfit and cool hair, so she’s too good to be seen with me. I guess it’s pathetic that she was my only friend. But one friend is better than none.”

“That’s false. It doesn’t sound like she was ever your friend. I’d rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t treat me well.”

“You’ve never had to be alone. Your family loves you, and you have a bunch of friends and Paige.”

“You think your family doesn’t love you?” he asked.

“They love me because they have to. My whole life revolves around my stupid cat.”

“Well, he’s a really cool cat. I love that guy.” I laughed again. I was glad he thought so. Paige hated Reggie. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You have friends. You have me. We’re friends, right?” I scoffed.

“Hardly. We’re barely acquaintances.”

“We went to the movies together once, didn’t we?”

“With Paige and Phillip and only because my mom said you had to bring us on your date. And you guys were attached at the face the entire time.”

“Well, one kind of friend is better than none, right?” Curse him for using my own words against me. “At least I’ve never treated you like dirt.”

“Yeah, you and you alone.”

“There are a lot of people who care about you and respect you. You just haven’t met them yet.”

“Yeah—okay.” He was quiet for a second.

“I have to get back to class, but—we’ll hang out, okay?”

“I don’t want you to hang out with me just because you feel sorry for me.”

“I’m not. I’m going to hang out with you because you’re cool and I like your cat. You should really get back to class, though, before you get caught.” I sniffed.

“I’ll be fine. And I’m glad you like my cat.” He smiled and stood back up. Then he waved and left me alone.

Then I didn’t feel so bad anymore. Maybe it was something new. I lost Laura as a friend, but I gained Vincent. And if I had Vincent as a friend, then perhaps Collin was just one step behind him. And he already knew I existed. And okay, he never treated me like dirt either. So I had to think of this as a good thing. Who was Laura anyway? Just some girl who thought she was better than me when I was the only person to notice her before she got cool stuff. I didn’t need her.