Food, Cats, and Being Lazy

Vincent was an aspiring photographer. I knew he took photography at school, and that’s what he wanted to do with his life. So my parents hired him to do our family portrait. My mom dressed me up like a child again and then tried to pay Paige to straighten my hair. But she refused, so she just made me wear a headband to try and defluff a bit. It made me look even more like a child. Then she made us all stand in front of the fireplace in the living room so Vincent could snap pictures of us. I was standing beside my mom, fiddling with the itchy ruffles on the green doll dress she made me wear.

“Piper, smile,” she was saying. I groaned and looked at the camera Vincent set up on his tripod. He had a really nice camera. He even had a little handheld button thing. I found it odd that he had such a nice camera but such a crappy car. I forced myself to smile, and he looked over the camera and right at me.

“That’s your fake smile,” he said. “Don’t pinch your mouth shut.”

“I have to keep it shut, or my braces will show,” I told him.

“So? Let them show. Your family wants a picture with you as you are right now during this time in your life. Not a picture of you faking a smile and looking uncomfortable.”

“They won’t know the difference.”

“Piper, just smile. Just take the picture, Vincent,” my mom interjected. But he was still looking at me.

“Did Paige ever show you pictures of me when I had braces?” he asked.

“You had braces?” He nodded and picked at something on the side of his camera.

“I had an awful overbite. Not to mention, I broke my two front teeth out before they were ready, and they were like ten times the size of my other teeth. Pushed them all around. It was bad.”

I must have made a face because my mom snapped with a, “Don’t grimace. Now you’re making her grimace.” But Vincent just smiled. He had perfect teeth. I just figured it was the result of having dentists for parents.

“Can we hurry this along?” my dad asked as he checked his watch. “I have a meeting in half an hour.”

“Hey, Pip. Do you remember last Christmas when your cat puked on the carpet right as your sister was coming downstairs barefoot, and she stepped right in it?” I immediately laughed. “Gotcha,” he said, clicking the button.

“Vincent!” Paige shouted. He laughed.

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“Did you have to talk about cat vomit? You caught her smiling and then the rest of us looking horrified.” He shrugged.

“I caught you before you figured out what I was saying. Here. Look.” My mom left our group to look through the pictures he’d taken. She was nodding to herself as he watched, anxious about her final verdict. She was very critical. And she only treated this like she was doing him a favor.

“He’s right,” she said. “He got us before we realized what he’d just said. I really like this one, Vincent. I think I want this one printed. And Piper, honey, you do look better when you’re really smiling.” Vincent shot me a “Told you” smile.

“Did you really have braces?” I asked him. He nodded.

“I had them for three years.”

“Wow. That’s a long time.”

“Told you it was a bad overbite. I also had awful acne up until your sister forced me to start using her night cream.” He was still scrolling through the photos and not focusing on me.

“It’s true,” Paige said as she picked at the ends of her perfect golden hair. “He still gets it sometimes, but it’s not as bad.”

“Wow. You’re almost—normal,” I said. He finally looked at me.

“Of course I’m normal. What did you think I was?” I shrugged.

“I don’t know. Perfect.” He blinked as if he didn’t understand what I was saying. “Like Paige, I mean.” He blinked again.

“Paige isn’t perfect.” He went back to the camera.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, suddenly not interested in her hair anymore.

“It means you’re human. Deal with it.” I smiled to myself. I knew I liked him for a reason.