Sequel: Food, Cats, and Being in Love ›
Status: Complete
Food, Cats, and Being Lazy
Four
Collin Denver was in my house. And it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Collin was the most beautiful human being on the planet. I've known this to be a fact since I was in middle school. He had brown hair that was really shiny and soft-looking (not that I'd ever touched it). But it was his eyes that drew me in. So sharp and vibrantly blue that you could spot them a mile away. Or at least from the other end of a crowded school hallway.
He had the face of an angel. Like he was born to grace the covers of magazines or be on TV. He never had acne. He always had a slight tan, even though we lived in Massachusetts. He was tall and played on the school soccer team. He wore polo shirts every day. I especially liked when he wore the stripy ones. I once got close enough to him to notice that he smelled like Irish Spring soap. And his arms were always covered in yarn bracelets that the kids from the YMCA made for him. Because he was just so nice.
He was perfection. In the most humanly way possible. And now, he was sitting across from me at the dining room table. I hated my mom for inviting his family over for Easter dinner. My parents never used to mingle with his parents until his dad joined my dad's golf club. They made decent money and contributed to the golf club fundraisers. And my mom really liked people who made lots of money. More importantly, she liked people who showed it off. She didn't care much for Swedish dentists like Vincent's family, though.
Either way, it was like Collin was handpicked to be in my family. We could be together, and our parents would support us. Maybe even pay for the wedding at the golf club. It would be a big, beautiful event too. I'd been to weddings at the golf club, and they were always gorgeous and costly. There was just one teeny, tiny, itty bitty problem that could get in the way of all that incredible bliss. Well—there were actually kind of a lot of little issues.
1: Collin had a girlfriend. Her name was Hannah. She was really pretty and played on the girl's soccer team. She was flawless and somehow balanced the fine line between being really sporty and really girly all at once. She was a beast on the field but went to get her nails done with my sister every other week. They were great friends. And I never got invited. Sometimes I went when my mom got her nails done, but mainly because the lady that did my mom's nails thought I was hilarious and cute and always gave my mom discounts. I was pretty sure it was because she thought I was just an overgrown child.
But either way, I went off track. Collin had a pretty girlfriend. He was too pretty for me. And the number one most significant thing getting in the way of our happy life together? Collin didn't know I existed.
Since his girlfriend was friends with my sister, you'd think he would have at least heard my name once or twice. But he hadn't. And I knew this because he was the Teacher's Aid for my freshman English class. Once, when the teacher gave him a piece of paper and told him to give it to me, he'd stared at it for a long time before saying, "Who's Piper?" She pointed at me, and I waved, and he still ended up giving it to the girl sitting next to me.
I didn't exist.
To most people, to be completely honest.
The only person who ever said hi to me at school, besides my friend Lauren, was Vincent. But he was usually with Paige, and she'd elbow him and tell him to stop talking to me before I embarrassed them.
The sad thing is that when his family arrived, my mom led them right to the dining room and sat him directly across from me. By then, she'd already discovered the torn apart couch and the fort. I tried blaming it on the kids, but they all began jumping around me while shouting, "All Hail the Piper Lord!" like I told them to, so I got blamed for it and sent back to the table. I was given strict instructions not to hang utensils from my body parts.
Then I sat there for a long time dreaming about this really yummy-looking raspberry soufflé with crème Fraiche I saw on TV that morning. But I was kicking my feet, and Phillip got mad, so he moved chairs. And then the Denver family showed up. And Collin's eyes immediately slid over me like I was nothing but a spot on the wall. He immediately dove into talking to Vincent about some band he saw in Boston the weekend before.
Then I sighed heavily and basked in his beauty. If there was anything good about being invisible, it was that I could stare at people, and they hardly ever noticed. But then again, when they noticed, it was always kind of embarrassing, and they made a big deal out of it. Like the time I was daydreaming in the locker room, this girl happened to be standing in front of me changing. She pointed it out in front of everyone and called me a lesbian, and now the other girls refused to change in front of me. I'd been changing in the bathroom stalls ever since.
The thing is, I didn't even realize she was there when it happened. I'd been thinking about this special I saw on TV about endangered pygmy rabbits, and she just happened to be right in my line of sight. The worst part is that if I was a lesbian, she wouldn't even be my type. She thought too highly of herself, and I was too embarrassed about the whole thing to stick up for myself.
But anyway, back to Collin. He was wearing a polo shirt again. It was robin's egg blue, and his brown hair was combed back out of his face. He had his hands on the table. His arms were toned and tanned. The bracelets were there. They had beads on them that said things like "Thank you!" and "You're the best!" and "Collin and so-and-so are BFFs!" He apparently volunteered to help teach them soccer tactics or something, and they all loved him. It was easy to love Collin. Just looking at him screamed—well, love.
My crush started in middle school. He was already in high school at the time. But we did this soccer thing for PE one day, and he showed up with a bunch of other high school soccer players to teach us how to do dribbles or something. I got paired up with this snotty girl who growled more than she spoke and was clearly never meant to teach children anything because she got so frustrated with us that she called us all "little bitches." But ever since I saw Collin on the field, bouncing a soccer ball on his knees and showing off to his group, I'd been in love.
I was pretty sure it was true love. And he'd probably love me too if he only realized we breathed the same air.
"Piper," someone said in a sharp whisper from my side. My attention broke off, and I turned to my sister. Phillip was the only person between us now that he'd moved. He was still playing his Gameboy and didn't notice anything going on. But Paige was smiling, and then she mouthed something. I shook my head. I didn't know what she was trying to say.
"What?" I asked. She mouthed it again, but I couldn't read lips. I didn't have a clue. "I can't hear you," I whispered.
"I said stop staring," she said louder. But Vincent turned to see who she was talking to, and his eyes locked with mine. I froze and sat up straight. Then I glanced across the table. Collin had suddenly noticed my existence.
"I um—I think I smell something burning," I said. Then I bolted out of my chair and hurried out of the dining room. "Stupid. Stupid! STUPID!"
Without thinking, I flung the door of my bedroom wide open. I didn't even notice Reggie scurry out into the hallway. I kicked at the stool of my wicker vanity and then threw myself onto my bed. I hated my life. I hated my sister and my family. I hated stupid Easter. The ham wasn't even good.
I sat there for a minute, trying to convince myself that Collin probably didn't realize I was even staring at him. He wasn't even looking at me when it happened. He probably thought I was staring at Vincent or someone else. But, on the other hand, maybe he still didn't notice me. Maybe he'd just looked at the ugly painting hanging behind me, and I happened to be sitting in front of it.
Then there was a sudden crashing sound coming from downstairs. Followed by the yelp and hiss of a cat. I shut my eyes and groaned. It would happen any second now.
"PIIIPPPERRRR!" followed up the stairs a moment later. I sighed and got up, fighting with the ruffles on my stupid toddler dress.
"Stupid cat," I muttered.
Reggie was technically the family cat, but he only liked me. Probably because my dad was never home, my mom and Paige thought he was smelly, and Phillip was too busy being perfect to notice him. I was the only one who ever played with him and gave him treats. So when he did bad things, I was the one who got blamed for it. I was also in charge of cleaning out his litter box.
I stomped back down to the kitchen, where my mom stood with the leftover ham on the floor, along with several smashed Easter eggs.
"I'm sorry," I said. She tapped her foot, arms crossed over her pretty pastel sweater.
"How did he get out?" she asked.
"I accidentally let him out. I forgot he was up there."
"Why were YOU up there?"
"Because Paige embarrassed me."
"Clean it up."
"Yes, ma'am."
He had the face of an angel. Like he was born to grace the covers of magazines or be on TV. He never had acne. He always had a slight tan, even though we lived in Massachusetts. He was tall and played on the school soccer team. He wore polo shirts every day. I especially liked when he wore the stripy ones. I once got close enough to him to notice that he smelled like Irish Spring soap. And his arms were always covered in yarn bracelets that the kids from the YMCA made for him. Because he was just so nice.
He was perfection. In the most humanly way possible. And now, he was sitting across from me at the dining room table. I hated my mom for inviting his family over for Easter dinner. My parents never used to mingle with his parents until his dad joined my dad's golf club. They made decent money and contributed to the golf club fundraisers. And my mom really liked people who made lots of money. More importantly, she liked people who showed it off. She didn't care much for Swedish dentists like Vincent's family, though.
Either way, it was like Collin was handpicked to be in my family. We could be together, and our parents would support us. Maybe even pay for the wedding at the golf club. It would be a big, beautiful event too. I'd been to weddings at the golf club, and they were always gorgeous and costly. There was just one teeny, tiny, itty bitty problem that could get in the way of all that incredible bliss. Well—there were actually kind of a lot of little issues.
1: Collin had a girlfriend. Her name was Hannah. She was really pretty and played on the girl's soccer team. She was flawless and somehow balanced the fine line between being really sporty and really girly all at once. She was a beast on the field but went to get her nails done with my sister every other week. They were great friends. And I never got invited. Sometimes I went when my mom got her nails done, but mainly because the lady that did my mom's nails thought I was hilarious and cute and always gave my mom discounts. I was pretty sure it was because she thought I was just an overgrown child.
But either way, I went off track. Collin had a pretty girlfriend. He was too pretty for me. And the number one most significant thing getting in the way of our happy life together? Collin didn't know I existed.
Since his girlfriend was friends with my sister, you'd think he would have at least heard my name once or twice. But he hadn't. And I knew this because he was the Teacher's Aid for my freshman English class. Once, when the teacher gave him a piece of paper and told him to give it to me, he'd stared at it for a long time before saying, "Who's Piper?" She pointed at me, and I waved, and he still ended up giving it to the girl sitting next to me.
I didn't exist.
To most people, to be completely honest.
The only person who ever said hi to me at school, besides my friend Lauren, was Vincent. But he was usually with Paige, and she'd elbow him and tell him to stop talking to me before I embarrassed them.
The sad thing is that when his family arrived, my mom led them right to the dining room and sat him directly across from me. By then, she'd already discovered the torn apart couch and the fort. I tried blaming it on the kids, but they all began jumping around me while shouting, "All Hail the Piper Lord!" like I told them to, so I got blamed for it and sent back to the table. I was given strict instructions not to hang utensils from my body parts.
Then I sat there for a long time dreaming about this really yummy-looking raspberry soufflé with crème Fraiche I saw on TV that morning. But I was kicking my feet, and Phillip got mad, so he moved chairs. And then the Denver family showed up. And Collin's eyes immediately slid over me like I was nothing but a spot on the wall. He immediately dove into talking to Vincent about some band he saw in Boston the weekend before.
Then I sighed heavily and basked in his beauty. If there was anything good about being invisible, it was that I could stare at people, and they hardly ever noticed. But then again, when they noticed, it was always kind of embarrassing, and they made a big deal out of it. Like the time I was daydreaming in the locker room, this girl happened to be standing in front of me changing. She pointed it out in front of everyone and called me a lesbian, and now the other girls refused to change in front of me. I'd been changing in the bathroom stalls ever since.
The thing is, I didn't even realize she was there when it happened. I'd been thinking about this special I saw on TV about endangered pygmy rabbits, and she just happened to be right in my line of sight. The worst part is that if I was a lesbian, she wouldn't even be my type. She thought too highly of herself, and I was too embarrassed about the whole thing to stick up for myself.
But anyway, back to Collin. He was wearing a polo shirt again. It was robin's egg blue, and his brown hair was combed back out of his face. He had his hands on the table. His arms were toned and tanned. The bracelets were there. They had beads on them that said things like "Thank you!" and "You're the best!" and "Collin and so-and-so are BFFs!" He apparently volunteered to help teach them soccer tactics or something, and they all loved him. It was easy to love Collin. Just looking at him screamed—well, love.
My crush started in middle school. He was already in high school at the time. But we did this soccer thing for PE one day, and he showed up with a bunch of other high school soccer players to teach us how to do dribbles or something. I got paired up with this snotty girl who growled more than she spoke and was clearly never meant to teach children anything because she got so frustrated with us that she called us all "little bitches." But ever since I saw Collin on the field, bouncing a soccer ball on his knees and showing off to his group, I'd been in love.
I was pretty sure it was true love. And he'd probably love me too if he only realized we breathed the same air.
"Piper," someone said in a sharp whisper from my side. My attention broke off, and I turned to my sister. Phillip was the only person between us now that he'd moved. He was still playing his Gameboy and didn't notice anything going on. But Paige was smiling, and then she mouthed something. I shook my head. I didn't know what she was trying to say.
"What?" I asked. She mouthed it again, but I couldn't read lips. I didn't have a clue. "I can't hear you," I whispered.
"I said stop staring," she said louder. But Vincent turned to see who she was talking to, and his eyes locked with mine. I froze and sat up straight. Then I glanced across the table. Collin had suddenly noticed my existence.
"I um—I think I smell something burning," I said. Then I bolted out of my chair and hurried out of the dining room. "Stupid. Stupid! STUPID!"
Without thinking, I flung the door of my bedroom wide open. I didn't even notice Reggie scurry out into the hallway. I kicked at the stool of my wicker vanity and then threw myself onto my bed. I hated my life. I hated my sister and my family. I hated stupid Easter. The ham wasn't even good.
I sat there for a minute, trying to convince myself that Collin probably didn't realize I was even staring at him. He wasn't even looking at me when it happened. He probably thought I was staring at Vincent or someone else. But, on the other hand, maybe he still didn't notice me. Maybe he'd just looked at the ugly painting hanging behind me, and I happened to be sitting in front of it.
Then there was a sudden crashing sound coming from downstairs. Followed by the yelp and hiss of a cat. I shut my eyes and groaned. It would happen any second now.
"PIIIPPPERRRR!" followed up the stairs a moment later. I sighed and got up, fighting with the ruffles on my stupid toddler dress.
"Stupid cat," I muttered.
Reggie was technically the family cat, but he only liked me. Probably because my dad was never home, my mom and Paige thought he was smelly, and Phillip was too busy being perfect to notice him. I was the only one who ever played with him and gave him treats. So when he did bad things, I was the one who got blamed for it. I was also in charge of cleaning out his litter box.
I stomped back down to the kitchen, where my mom stood with the leftover ham on the floor, along with several smashed Easter eggs.
"I'm sorry," I said. She tapped her foot, arms crossed over her pretty pastel sweater.
"How did he get out?" she asked.
"I accidentally let him out. I forgot he was up there."
"Why were YOU up there?"
"Because Paige embarrassed me."
"Clean it up."
"Yes, ma'am."