I Only Want To See You

Will didn't respond to my note. Figures huh?

I know its logical to just give up on him, forget about him completely, but my heart just wont give into my mind. I refuse to let him go, I know there's something I'm missing, something that explains his strange behavior he's embodied. But my mind was coming up blank with anything semi-logical. So I gave up trying for awhile and tried to think about school.

Big screw up there too. It seemed like I couldn't get anything right these days, I fucked up my friendship and now I couldn't do simple homework. I felt tired and overwhelmed. And by the time I even convinced myself to do any work I just gave up a few minutes later because I was just simply done.

Everything seemed to be dropping.

It was Wednesday morning and I was heading to my math class, I had Max lead me helplessly into the classroom late. I'd know my teacher would be pissed but she was just another one on my list, the janitor had recently been complaining to me about Max shedding his black hairs all over the place. Sure don't show any sympathy for the handicap. I was really done with this place.

"Your late again." My teacher snarked at me. I pictured her with a wrinkled old face and heavy round glasses lingering at the end of her nose, and her red lipsticked lip snarling up revealing her yellow teeth. The dramatic image tended to ease the anger she shed towards me.

"Yeah I know." I said with little to no emotion. Max let out a small deep rumble in the pit of his throat.

"You and that dog...next time your late I will send you to the office where they'll deal with you and your situation." That was sure a nice way of putting it. Her emphasis on the word you and situation only made me care less of what she thought of me or Max. "Please go to your seat."

Max lead me to my normal chair in the back of the room only this time I could feel the difference in the atmosphere, the deep in takes of breath and the stanching smell of smoke radiating off the presence. I usually sat alone during math class but it looked as if I got a new seat partner.

I took my seat and the teacher re-begun her lesson which she was so rudely interrupted. The guy, I could just tell, laughed deep in his throat and I rested my chin on my elbow. Max slumped lazily next to me and I heard him doze off a few minutes later. I mumbled, "Me too, buddy."

The guy next to me asked in a humorous tone, "What?"

My cheeks flushed, I had forgotten that I couldn't just talk to Max in this class anymore, I wasn't entirely alone. "Oh sorry, I was just talking to my dog. He's falling asleep and the class just begun."

"Oh. We'll I can't blame him. What's his name?" The stranger asked kindly. The smoke off his clothes was now so strong that I was almost sure I'd go home smelling like him.

"Max." I told him and bent down to rub Max's ears out of love.

"Max? He's your seeing eye dog?" His voice was hesitant.

I smiled, "Yeah. He's practically my best friend at the moment." There was sadness at the memory of my previous best friend. "Whats your name?"

For a moment I could feel and hear his hesitation than he spoke, "It's...Daegan."

I couldn't hold back my laughter, "I'm sorry but..." I laughed a little bit more and the teacher turned to give me and deep uh-hem. I covered my mouth to hold back anymore laughter and I heard her heals as she turned back around to continue the lesson. I removed my hand and smiled "Daegan?"

"Yeah," I could hear the hurt and embarrassment in his voice, "most people just call me D."

"Most people?" I asked skeptically.

"Everyone except my parents."

"Ah, figures." I smiled down and let out another chuckle. That did it, the teacher turned viciously around and begun to chew into me.

"Well Miss, you just seem quite determined to disturb my class today don't you? I'm giving you a warning because I am generally a nice person," Generally my ass! "you make one more sound and I'll send you to principles!" She puffed out a deep breath and once again turned on her heals to write on the board. My refined hearing allowed me to hear what she mutter under her breath and what she thought no one could hear, "little bitch."

"Bite me." I replied under my breath. Only mine was loud enough for Daegan...uh D, to hear.

"I'm sensing some hostility there." He teased.

I smiled at his playful nature, hoping it was a sign he'd forgiven me for laughing at his name. "Yeah. I don't go over to well with teachers, you know? The last thing they want to hear is that they have to not only attend to the special needs of a blind girl but that a dog also has to be hauled in and out of their class. You know the funny part is, I don't want to be treated differently. I've lived with this for so long that I don't want or expect people to cater to my needs. But they do it anyways and it pisses me off! Or they'll act like her," I pointed forward to emphasis my point, although I'm sure I wasn't directly on, "and hate me for being different. Its not like I purposely bother them. Actually I hardly bother them and they still feel the need to complain. And that causes me to seek revenge." I was rambling, and probably scaring the living crap out of him, but I needed to vent. How long had it been since I could just spill my guts to another human being?

"Revenge? Who are you seeking revenge on, might I ask?" D's voice was still full of humor, not seeming bothered by my anger at all. Maybe he was high?

"The janitor." I grumbled.

That did it for him, he took on my bad trait and began laughing hysterically. The teacher turned to yell at him, warning him, she was big on those I guess, that he'd better not get on her bad side his first day of school. He apologized but didn't quite stop for he chuckled deeply in his throat for the next minute or so.

We didn't talk for the rest of the class but once the bell had rung and I stood he taped my shoulder to get my attention. "Where you going next?"

"Um, science." I said dutifully.

"I'm going to history but I don't really feel like it." He admitted. Just by his smell and his attitude I could tell he didn't go to a lot of his classes.

My stomach began to turn at the thought of what he was going to purpose. I never really acted out of line before, except once in church where I refused to sing one of the hymns and ripped the page out and threw it at the pasture's head. There was two ways for me to respond to this though, I could one tell him that sucked to be him and walk away, or two I could tell him that I didn't really feel like going either.

I choose the later.