Conversations With My Mother

"Your dad was arrested once, you know."

"Really? What for?"

"Smoking pot."

"Shit! How long did he get done for?"

"Only overnight. He got bailed out."

"By who?"

"Me and a couple of other people."

"Shit!"

"Don't tell him I told you though."

"I won't.* Anyone else been arrested?"

"Aunt Nobody was arrested once."

"Really? What for?"

"She had cocaine in her purse."

"Shit. Was it for Uncle Nobody or what?"

"No, it was for herself. But Uncle Nobody was arrested as well."

"Really? What'd he get done for?"

"Dangerous driving."

"No shit. He's a former drug addict and a former Klansman, and he got done for dangerous driving. Shit."

"Yeah, really, that's what he was done for. I've never been arrested."

"I've never been arrested either. Haven't done enough drugs."

"Good! Keep it that way!"

"Aw, I'm sure it couldn't turn out so bad. I could get me a big black boyfriend and join Baba and his crew."

"Oh god. Cal, the last thing you need is pot."

"I could use some help with my imagination."

"No you don't; it's big enough as it is."

"No it isn't, I need some help to make it bigger."

"Yeah right."

"You sure you haven't been arrested?"

"Yes Cal, I'm sure."