Status: One-Shot

Kissing Prank

Done Right

If he was being completely honest, Zack Merrick couldn’t remember a time where he’d been so… so angry because of a YouTube video. Sure, there were some he disagreed pretty damn heavily with, and there were bound to be thousands he’d never even seen before, but he didn’t think that less than eight minutes could have him feeling sick and like he could beat the hell out of someone at the same time.

That’s how, on a Saturday evening, the young (and rather popular) YouTuber found himself sat in front of his computer, the camera turned on and his own face looking back at him from the screen.

He couldn’t find it in himself to smile as much as he normally would when opening a video, so he merely sent a small wave to the screen and then got right on down to the point.

“Hey, guys. I wasn’t planning on making a video tonight—or tomorrow, even—because I usually come up with ideas on Wednesday, film on Thursday, and post on Friday, but a friend of mine posted a video that got me thinking. As I’m sure many of you know, Laci Green and Sam Pepper have been having it out for a little while now. Laci just recently uploaded a video ‘exposing’ Sam and a few other YouTubers. If you haven’t watched it, the link is down in the description and it might be a little helpful to check that out first.

“Anyway, back to the topic at hand: I realized while I was watching the clips of other guys hitting on and kissing women that I could do so much better than they did. I know that might sound like all talk, but by the end of this video, you’ll know exactly why I think so.

“Don’t leave just yet if you’re starting to get pissed off with me; I swear this will be totally worth your time.”

A real smile was sent to the camera that was built into the computer before Zack was lifting his pointer finger to hold it in front of his lips. The sound of a mouse clicking a few times filled the silence, and then the young man was turning to his right, yelling out, “Beany, can you come here for a second?”

The answering call wasn’t loud enough to be picked up by the computer’s speaker, but Zack immediately turned back toward the screen, face looking almost a little too concentrated on whatever he’d pulled up beforehand. A door opened off to the side, and soon another face was appearing beside Zack’s own, gazing at the screen a little boredly.

“What do you need?” the man asked, glancing between the other man and image onscreen, clearly doing his best to piece together what could’ve been the cause of his summoning.

“I was just looking at this one thing,” Zack explained, lifting his hand to point out what it was he meant, “and I—”

Zack cut himself off there, instead turning his head and reaching for the other man’s face, bringing their lips together before anything could be said or done about it.

The (obviously) smaller male froze for only a moment before he was kissing back, his eyes slipping closed and a content hum pushing from deep in his chest. It didn’t last very long, only a good five seconds at most, and then Zack was pulling back to lean their foreheads together, hands still cradling the man’s face.

“What was that for?” the shaggy-haired brunette questioned around a gentle laugh, shifting enough to nudge his and Zack’s nose together.

Zack shrugged. “No reason,” he decided, doing his best at remaining casual.

The man didn’t respond before he shrugged to himself, leaned back in for another short kiss, and then mumbled something about watching a movie whenever Zack was ready because it’s date night and you can’t just skip out on date night if you’re not gonna let me know at least a day in advance.

Zack chuckled and nodded, pressing his and his partner’s lips together a final time before cutting off all physical contact completely. His hands maneuvered the other man around before tapping at his pajama pants-covered bottom as a way to get him to leave the room once more, earning him a hand reaching back to swat his own away and a laugh.

When the door clicked shut behind the other male, Zack turned back to the camera. His smile was more than genuine as he pulled up the window with his face grinning back at him, and he shrugged to no one in particular before getting serious yet again.

That is how a kissing prank should be done,” he said, raising his hand to point towards where his partner had just been standing. “Even though it wasn’t spoken, there was complete consent between two understanding adults in a long-term relationship. Unless you have that consent, you’re not pulling a prank, you’re sexually harassing another human being. Whether it’s a man or woman isn’t the case; you are violating a person you’ve never met until you illegally forced yourself onto them.

“It’s disgusting on so many levels, and this whole trend of doing it and things like it needs to be stopped. Not next month, not next week, but right fucking now. You have absolutely no right in touching another person in anyway unless it’s a hundred and ten percent agreed upon beforehand. If you’re commending these waste of spaces, you need to stop and really think about what it is you’re cheering on and why you’re so okay with it.

“Oh, and that was Jordan, by the way. He hasn’t made an appearance in any of my videos up until this point. We’ve been together for nearly two years now, and this is the first time anyone outside of our immediate circle of friends and family has heard about it. Basically, he’s wanted to let more people know for a long time now, and I guess this is my way of apologizing for holding up date night.

“So as long as he’s okay with it, and I get his consent on it, this will be posted on YouTube. That means if you’re watching this, he gave me his consent in not only filming us kissing without his knowledge, but with letting the entire world know about it.

“And if you’ve ever harassed someone, I pray that they kicked you in the nuts or ovaries or whatever you have so hard that you won’t be able to reproduce.”

The smile at that was sickly sarcastic, and then Zack was working on turning off the camera and saving his recorded video to his computer so that he could show it to Jordan and edit it if he needed to before posting it on social media for the world all over to see.

It’d have to wait just a bit longer, he decided, because while he wanted to get his own two cents out to help people realize that their ‘pranks’ were so much more than wrong, he did feel kind of bad about fucking up Jordan’s date night.

That, and he wasn’t quite ready to see what kind of stupid love-struck face he made after he kissed his boyfriend. Why watch when he can go and touch? Another two hours of waiting wouldn’t hurt too terribly, especially not since he hadn’t even planned on making a video in the first place.

After making sure that his video had saved in the proper folder, Zack shut down his computer and made his way from the bedroom. All he needed was a little bit of cuddling to get his mind off of how angry he still was deep inside, and he couldn’t think of a better person to do it with than Jordan.
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so i just heard about the whole sam pepper thing
and saw a video done by some girl named laci green
and while i don't watch youtubers (except for omfgitsjackanddean and slomozovo)
i'm also v feministic so i sat through eight minutes of seeing a bunch of guys act like they needed me to kick them in the fucking nuts so hard they'd cry for a month
and i can't do that
but i can get my anger out by writing cute merrigreuter that addresses the situation
beginning and end are shit but the middle was all i really played out in my head before i started writing so whateves