Pretty as a Car Crash

Wouldn’t you like to know

“I mean, I just don’t get it. One second he’s all smoldering eyes and Mr. Casanova and the next he’s leaning away from me and hardly saying a word.” I huff, crossing my arms over my chest as Maria and I walk down the hall to our dorm room.

“Maybe he was just nervous, yeah?” she suggests, shrugging as she pulls her hair over her shoulder and looking at the ends. I just stare at her, still agitated by Ashton.

Why am I even upset? I mean, it’s not like I like him…right? Right.

I shake my head, running my fingers through my hair for the umpteenth time today. “Whatever. I just want to go to sleep. I’m bushed.”

We walk down the hall in silence, passing dorm rooms on either side of us. I sling one of the straps of my purse off of my shoulder, rummaging through my bag in search of the keys to the room. We finally get to our room and stand outside as I continue to go through my purse.

“Well what the heck!?” I whisper, finding it increasingly difficult to find my keys.

“Maybe,” Mar-mar begins, stepping closer to the door, her hand poised to knock on it, “Chrissie is here, yeah.” Just before she knocks, we hear a muffled noise come from inside the room. I put a finger to my lips, grabbing her hand away from the door and pressing my ear up against it instead.

“Don’t worry about it, geez!” Chrissie’s muffled voice says from within the depths of the dorm. It’s quiet for a few seconds and then Chrissie huffs. I look at Maria, raising my eyebrow. She leans down next to me, pressing her ear up against the door as well.

This isn’t right. This is an invasion of privacy and if Chrissie catches you, she will kill you. Kill you with her eyeliner.

I roll my eyes as the “I want Candy” parody starts to play in my head.

“No, of course I’m alone. I wouldn’t be so stupid as to do this with them here!” she spits into what I can only assume is her phone. She’s quiet again, listening to whom ever she is talking to. “Well, you see, the plan has been kinda compromised. There’s this other girl here an-“ her voice cuts off. I furrow my brow and look at Maria. She shrugs, both of us not sure of what to make of the situation.

Maria and I listen intently, waiting for Chrissie to say something or make some kind of noise.

“Yes, I understand.” She finally says dejectedly before more silence follows.

“Well this is stupid!” Maria whispers hoarsely, we’re so close that I can smell the sushi she had for dinner on her breath. I glare at her, trying to give her my best shut-the-hell-up face with out making a sound. It seems to work.

“Oh! Yeah. Ashton and Peter are here. They just enrolled at Pratt as well.” We hear Chrissie say, her voice suddenly becoming dark and venomous. “Trust me, I will.” She adds after a moment, her tone still filled with poison. Maria turns me, her facial features showing concern and agitation. She opens her mouth, but I shake my head, motioning for her to keep quiet.

All of a sudden, my purse vibrates for a second and I stare down at it in horror before ripping it open. The chorus of “Gone” by Kelly Clarkson starts to blare out of the tiny speakers, which really know how to pack a punch, let me tell you, on my phone.

Shit, fuck, damn! Shut off, shut off, SHUT OFF!

Maria gaps at me as I press the red off button on my phone. I look up at her from my crouched position, jaw on the floor. We look at each other in silence, waiting to see what will happen next. The door to our dorm room swings open to reveal Chrissie on the other side, black flip phone in hand. I’m still crouched on the ground next to my purse with Maria standing beside me and she immediately lockers her fire balls called eyes unto me.

“What are you two doing?” she growls, glaring down at me. I look down into my purse and then back up at the demon Barbie that I share a room with.

“My keys…” I whisper, holding them up from the nadir of my purse. Chrissie continues to glare at me, raising one of her eyebrows in suspicion.

“We’ll be going to bed now!” Maria squeaks, grabbing my wrist and dragging into the room as I do my best to crawl from the hall way, past the door and into our dorm.

I throw my purse on the other side of my bed and leap under the covers, not bothering to change or wash my face.

“Whatever. You two are in need of some serious help.” Chrissie scoffs, closing her cellular device with a click.

I roll over, watching Chrissie from my bed. “Where are you going?” I pose, flicking my hair out of my face. I listen to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom as Maria gets ready for bed.
Chrissie turns to glare at me before walking out the door “Wouldn’t you like to know.” She mumbles, closing it behind her. A few minutes later Maria exits the washroom, her hair pulled back in a messy bun and her face free of make-up.

“Tonight’s been an interesting one, yeah.” She states, trading her silky blouse for a band T and her mini skirt for a pair of boxers. I nod, a bit too frazzled to say anything. I listen as Maria gets settled into bed, turning the light off a few moments later.

Scary vampires, werewolves, and goblins! Oh my.