Colourful

Alex and I quickly became friends after that. We seemed to have similar interests, well, all 10-year-old boys have the same interests, but Alex didn't beat me up when I got cocky. It's always been in my nature, and I can't hold back when I'm in the presence of especially idiots. But something about Alex made me believe that this boy wasn't an idiot. He didn't take things for granted like most kids did. I guess it's because he has cancer.

As Alex had told me, merely 5 months ago they found a type of cancer called retinoblastoma, in his eye. At the time, it was very early in its stage, but since passed, and they've decided there's a pretty good chance they'll be removing his eye. But Alex said the operation probably wouldn't happen for another year unless anything comes up, so that's why they're allowing him at school. I could tell that Alex isn't very happy with this, and thus has a good understanding on taking things for granted.

As our friendship blossomed, I constantly couldn't believe a bunch of things he's been missing out on. So as soon as we got to hang out at his house for the first time, I'd show him all sorts of things, especially Blink-182. And so we had been eagerly awaiting Friday night.

I wasn't all that worried about whether or not my mom would let me go. I knew she wouldn't care. So that's why the conversation mainly went like this:

"Mom, tomorrow night I'm going to my friend's house," I approached her as she was sitting at the couch, vodka bottle in hand.

"Ok... But, Jack, honey, you don't have any friends. Get your head out of your ass," she spat.

"Bitch..." I muttered under my breath as I walked back to the safety of my room.

See, nothing to worry about. So when the next day came, and the bell rang, setting free the eager and tired children, I walked home with Alex. He actually lived behind me. You could see my house from his backyard, which only made the 2 of us grin.

When we reached his door, he paused. He saw how confused I looked, so decided to explain.

"Um, my mom is sort of weird so, um, don't mind her. Also, to avoid any awkward conversations later on, I should inform you that my dad left us when I was very young, so um yeah, my mother's kinda protective and stuff..."

"Dads. They always seem to leave, don't they? Mine left when I was 4," I replied, frowning at the thought of my father.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

So Alex opened his door and called for his mom. A moment later, a short woman came walking down the stairs. Her brown hair hung to her shoulders, and her cheeks were a rosy red colour.

"Alex! You're home. Oh and this must be Jack! Hello, Jack!" She hugged her son and I could tell she spoke in a British accent, similar to the kind that you think of when you think of a british accent. And before pulling away, she looked to me and smiled saying, "He's told me so much about you!"

"Moooom..." Alex groaned, face turning a dark pink, as I smirked, looking at the boy.

If there's one thing you really shouldn't do, it's feed my ego, because it really goes to my head. So when I heard Alex had been talking to me, there's no fucking way I'm gonna let him forget about it.

So Alex showed me around his house and I can honestly say, I was hella jealous. Like his place compared to mine, wow. But to be fair, I have an angry, drunk, abusive mother who doesn't clean up after herself. But still.

"So, you talk about me, huh?" I waited until we sat down in his bedroom to tease him.

"Oh my god, shut up," he hid his face in his hands, pushing his glasses up slightly.

"I bet you say all kinds of great things. I mean, I would if I were you."

"No I talk how much I hate you right now!" He groaned, "I told her not to say anything embarrassing," and he looked up at me and grinned in defeat.

We played video games and listened to Blink-182 (which he became obsessed with the minute I put it on) for practically the rest of the night, you know, what regular 10-year-olds did. His mom came in a couple times and I gotta say, she is so awesome. Like, sure, I bet she embarrasses Alex, but even the more to love her for that. I would wish we could switch, but I'd never wish my bitch of a mom on anyone like Alex, especially with his cancer. Which makes me think that maybe his mom is so nice because of that. But that'd be alright. Even if that's not the case, Alex was a pretty cool kid, I'm sure she'd be super nice anyways.

"I've literally had so much fun tonight," I laughed, falling into my back.

"Same," he did the same, turning his head to look at me.

"Like, seriously, this is the best first time going to someone's house, ever."

"You've never hung with anyone before?" He asked curiously.

"Nope. Nobody seems to like me much."

"Oh, I wonder why," he rolled his eyes.

"Hey," I laughed, "but wait, then why do you like me?"

"I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't- Alex, if I'm such a cocky douchebag, why do you put up with me?"

"You're not a, um, cocky douchebag, Jack."

"I'm not, huh? Just ask the other kids."

"Well the other kids can eat shit."

"Eat shit?" I nearly pissed myself laughing.

"I panicked alright! I don't swear..." Alex sighed.

"I'll help with that later on. Right now I wanna know why you're friends with me."

"Well, I mean, at first, I guess I really didn't want anything to do with you, like you bumped into me in the hallway. But the next day in class I realized how boring and alike all the students were, and I thought at first that you were as well."

"Dude, every 10-year-old is the same aren't they?"

"Well not us! I- don't look at me like that, I'm gonna start laughing- which is what brings me to why we're friends. I mean, when I say down with you, at first I didn't think I'd get much out of it, but I figured, maybe he's cool because he's not with all the other kids, right? But by the end of lunch, I realized, maybe this kid isn't that bad. I mean you just seem less... Fake? I don't know, that doesn't make sense, does it."

"No."

"You do get it?"

"No. I don't exactly know what the hell you're talking about, but I get where you're going with it."

He rolled over so he wasn't looking at me.

"Maybe sometime I can go to your house..." He sounded hopeful.

"Ha. I doubt it."

"Oh, come on!" He turned over again to meet my eyes.

"I really don't think that can happen."

"Pleeeease, Jack! I'll be your best friend!"

"You already are my best friend, and I don't know," I turned over so he wouldn't see the discomfort in my face.

I should've straight up said no. I'm sure that I could make an excuse though. There is no way he could come to my house. If he did that, he'd have to meet my mom, and no one should ever have to meet my mom. But then again, she went out drinking with her friend on Saturday nights. I guess I could have him over tomorrow...

"Fine," I gave in.

"Yayyy!" He poked my back repeatedly until I turned around.

"You can come over tomorrow but not until I tell you to. You know what, I'll hop the fence and knock on your back door if that's alright with you."

"Yeah, that's cool."

And so the 2 of us just fell asleep there. I wasn't originally planning to sleep over, I didn't even have my things, but it was late and you know I don't really think my mom cares.

The next morning, I ate breakfast, and excused myself to go home because "my mom would want me home I think". Really I just needed to clean up a few things. Mom would be leaving around 4:00 if I'm lucky, and then I can tidy up some more, before going to get Alex.

When I got home, my mom didn't even notice I had not came home yesterday so I just slipped into my room. I was sure this may come in handy when I'm a teenager. I made my bed, plugged in my play station to the small TV, organized the video games, DVD's, and CD's, shoved my dirty laundry in a basket in my closet, and threw every other thing that made my room look messy, into the closet. Good enough.

Hours passed, and I almost was sure she wasn't actually going to leave, but when I heard the front door open, and the familiar croak of her friend Monica, my spirits were lifted. I ran to the front window, making sure Monica's ugly yellow car was gone before turning around and tidying the living room a bit. Once I determined it was presentable enough, I went out back to hop the fence, and knocked on Alex's door.

This was it. Alex would get to come to my house. What if I forgot to clean up something suspicious? What if he finds it odd my mom's gone. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But my self doubt was demolished when Alex opened the door, smiling brightly and jumping. He hopped out the door, calling a "Bye, mom!"

So I lead him to hop the fence, and into my home. I made sure to keep the mini house tour as short as possible, just in case I left anything out.

So we went to my room and about an 2 hours in, Alex decided to poke my back until I paused the video game.

"I'm hungry," he declared.

"Hi, hungry. I'm Alex," I went to out the game back on.

"Dude, dad jokes? Really? That's low."

"My dad's probably in Vegas, drunk out of his mind, broke as hell with a hooker lying naked on the other side of the room."

"Well, hey, let's not make this the 'who's dad's is a bigger failure' contest."

"Yeah! Both our dad's are dicks."

"Yeah! Now let's get some food."

"Fine," I gave in, hopping off my bed and waiting for Alex to follow.

We didn't actually have much to eat. Most of the cupboards were either empty or full of alcohol, which, in this situation, wasn't the best. But I managed to find a bag of gluten-free goldfish crackers.

"Why do you barely have any food?" Alex asked as I ripped the bag open.

I started pouring out some into one bowl, and answered, "Because my mom doesn't go out all that often."

"But she's out now, isn't she?"

"Yes. But that's different. She doesn't go out to buy food all that often."

"Oh. But why is tha-"

What happened next seems just way too predictable in a story like this. But why did it have to be different than every other Saturday night. Why was it while Alex was over. Why had my mom came home early?

"Jaaaaaaaaaack!!" My mom called in her drunken state.

"Shit..." I muttered under my breath, turning to a surprised and confused looking Alex.

"Jaaaa- where is my stuff?" She mumbled the last part, "Jack! What did you do in here?! Jack! Get your ass over here you little shit!"

I grabbed Alex and quickly pushed him out the back door, before my mom could come into the kitchen and see him.

"Just, wait a moment. Unless it gets bad, then just go home Alex. And no matter what, do not come back in," I told him before running back in.

My mother was waiting for me when I got back.

"Why d-did you clean up m-my shit! Now I can't find anything..." She slurred, opening the cupboard and grabbing a bottle of vodka and taking a swig of it.

"I just, I thought I could clean up around here. It-it was getting, um, messy..."

"Getting messy my ass, you're trying to ruin my life!"

"No mom," I pleaded.

"You think you can do shit and get taken away or whatever? Wellll fuck that Jack."

"Mom please, no," I repeated over and over again as she talked.

"You ain't ever leaving this hell hole, Jacky boy. No fucking way. Get that into your st-stupid, little, ugly head of yours. Do you need me to hit you?!" She began punching me down.

She finally knocked me to the ground when she stopped. For a moment, I thought she had sobered up and become aware of what she was doing. I thought she was going to stop.

"Jack. Get up," she didn't say it with anger, it was said emotionless.

But as I was picking myself up from the floor, she swung her bottle of vodka at me, hitting the side of my head, which knocked me to the floor again.

When I had curled in on myself, she kicked my side before leaving. I'm pretty sure she muttered something like, "Worthless..."

I had almost forgotten that Alex was standing outside, and when I realized he had moved to the window that looks in on the kitchen, I saw his horror stricken face for a moment before it was gone. He had ran away. So he was gonna leave me here, lying on the floor.

"W-wait until you're 18..." I choked out, trying not to sob, "1...2...3..4...5..6..7..8..9-"

I felt hands on my shoulders. They were way too small and gentle to be my mom's. So I looked up at the owner of those hands to see Alex. If I hadn't been mistaken, there were tears running down his face. He then lifted me up, and let me put all my weight on him as he lead my out the back door.

"10..." I mumbled quietly to myself.

"Come on, you're gonna have to step, please, I can't walk by myself, I'm sorry," he paused staring up at the fence. "There is no way you can climb that fence," and he laid me down and grabbed a baseball bat that was lying in the corner of my backyard. He stood for a moment, not breathing, but suddenly, he began to bash the fence in.

He swung over, and over again. He kept at it, until it was big enough for the both of us to walk through. I looked up at him, half worried, and half disciplining.

"I'll explain it to my mom later," he brushed it off, taking my arm, and leading me through the back spot of his house.

"Mom, I'm home!" He yelled, but I put my hand over his mouth.

"She can't know about this, Alex! Please don't tell her, just take me to your room," I weakly squeaked.

He looked confused, but obliged to my order, and instead of meeting his mom in the living room, or waiting for her to meet him in the kitchen, he began to climb the stairs and call out that "Jack is sleeping over tonight!" In which she called back that it was alright.

So by the time Alex laid me down on his bed, I was feeling pretty bad. My legs and arms were numb, and my face hurt like a bitch. I was still surprised she hit me with a bottle of vodka. She could've seriously damaged my face if she had only hit me a few inches to the right. I just became aware of the liquid coating the side of my face.

"Fuck. I didn't ask if I could come..." I croaked out, and Alex looked surprised.

"That is the least of your worries, Jack. Holy shit, how long has this been going on?!"

"Um, since my dad left, when I was 4," I looked up him, trying to smirk, but it hurt too much.

"Oh my god, Jack. Stop acting like everything is ok!" He barely raised his voice.

"But... It... It is, Alex. I'm fine," I looked down. I never wanted Alex to find out, honestly.

I felt a pair of arms suddenly wrap around me.

"Jack... We need to tell someone..." We. That made me let go of a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. I was terrified that I was going to lose him. I definitely couldn't do that, not after him finding out. I couldn't let him tell anyone. And I really didn't want to go back to not having friends.

"No, Alex. We can't tell anyone. You can't tell anyone. Not even your mother. No matter how much you want to. Not your mother, not the school, not the police. No one. Please, promise me Alex-" and I gave in sobbing, ducking my head into the dip of his shoulder, "-You cannot tell anyone."

And as I looked up, I'm sure, if he weren't wearing his glasses, I'd be able to see his tears as well.

"I won't," he ducked his head onto mine, "I won't tell anyone, Jack. And I'll never leave you alone, you understand. We're going to be best friends forever. I'm going to stick with you no matter what, Jack. I'm not going to fucking lose you, I promise."

I excused myself to clean up. The bathroom was right across the hall. As the hot water poured down onto my battered and bruised skin, I winced in agonizing pain. But I kept through it. Once I felt it on my face, it stung the most. I watched the blood wash down the drain as I turned off the water.

Alex had given me a pair of pyjama pants and a T-shirt to change into because we were close in size. I ignored the pain as the fabric touched my skin, because I was sick of crying. I was sick of being weak. I was sick of being helpless. I was sick of being alone.

But now I wasn't alone. All of a sudden, this weight was lifted off my shoulders. Now someone knew my secret. It was relieving, yet terrifying. The thing about sharing secrets is that once you've told someone, it's not your secret anymore. You are no longer in complete control of it. But I trusted Alex. I really did.

Opening the door to leave, I was met with Alex opening his door as well. He jumped slightly.

"Oh, you're out now..." He caught his breath.

"Still hungry?" I tried to lighten up the situation.

"No..." He mumbled, "I've lost my appetite."

"Oh..."

"Um, I was just going to check on you. Here, come in," he held his door open more.

As I went to sit on the floor, he redirected me to his bed.

"Are you, um, thirsty at all? I can get you some water..." He trailed off, standing at the door still.

"Uh, yeah, actually. Some water would be nice, um, if-if you don't mind."

"Oh, no. No of course I don't. Ok, I'll be right back," and he left me.

I didn't mean to, but I collapsed onto his bed, in exhaustion. I just laid there, waiting for him. I was slightly startled when he came back.

"Tired?" He asked coming to sit next to me on the bed.

I sat up, grabbing the glass of water from his hand, and taking a long sip. When I finished, I hesitated in putting it down on his end table.

"Oh, yeah, just put it there," he awkwardly confirmed, placing his very own glass of water next to mine.

He sniffled. I thought he was crying, but no tears were to be seen.

"Allergies, man..." He sniffled once again, and got up to blow his nose.

Although, this time, I noticed a tiny bit of a water droplet stream down his cheek, but he brushed it off cooly. As he came back, he turned out the big light and reached to turn his lamp on.

"Are you tired?" He asked, looking down.

I nodded.

"As am I... You take the bed, alright," He got up to grab his sleeping bag that was pushed up against the wall, but I reached out to his hand.

He looked back at me, pausing in motion.

"Just... Just share the bed. Only for tonight..." I spoke as quietly as I could.

"Alright," he agreed, just as quietly.

And so I slid over, making room for one more. His bed was small enough that no matter what, we would be touching slightly, but I didn't really care.

As we got comfortable under the covers, I whispered, "No homo, though..." grinning like an idiot.

"Fuck off," he laughed and reached for the lamp to turn it off.

Both of us turned over to face opposite of each other. We stayed still for almost 10 minutes before I asked, "Are you asleep?"

"No," he answered.

"Neither am I..."

Another moment of silence passed.

"Thank you," I finally spoke.

"For what?"

"For not leaving me."

"I'm never gonna leave you, Jack."

After he said that, I felt at ease. Suddenly, my eyelids began to droop.

"G'night, Alex..." I sleepily hummed.

"Night, Jack..." He replied in a similar sleepy tone.

And that's what Alex did. Alex didn't leave me.