Something Special

“I like you. No, for free; I like you. People like you.”

I remember that night. It read so ridiculous in my mind at the time, but as I look back and really think about what that woman told me in her broken English…

We were not supposed to out this late. We were not going to make it to the next club on time, yet I followed Ryan and Balz anyway. Chris and Angelo had gotten swept up in the New Orleans crowd and TJ had ditched us for a group of girls even before that. Ryan eventually turned his phone off to ignore our tour manager’s calls. Balz and I had forgotten ours back on the bus. I was positive that asshole was going to throw a fit whenever we finally returned.

“Come on, Rick!” Balz spun on his heels. Him and Ryan were several paces ahead of me.

“I don’t want to be held responsible if you get lost and found dead in an alley somewhere!” He turned back around.

I refused a scoff, unable to believe I was stuck with the two guys in the band that hated me the most. Well, I did not think Ryan absolutely hated me, but Balz and I were constantly at each other’s throats. He really has a problem with change…

A strange jingling could be heard echoing down the dark, grungy street. None of the sparsely passing residents seemed to acknowledge it, but the look Ryan and Balz exchanged reassured me that I was not crazy. It was like the sound of thick, hollow tubes banging together. It was not erratic like a wind-related hymn, though, which may have been what intrigued us the most.

Balz took the lead and guided us towards the noise. It began to mix with the occasional wind chimes hanging on someone’s porch or some type of pinwheel in their yard. This made it take on a harmonious discord, rattling bones…

“Dude…” Ryan dragged out the syllable in awe as he craned his neck to peer between a circus of trees.

A small, white lantern swayed on its perch on a low-hanging branch as if to welcome us to the little gate that seemed utterly ineffective at anything other than looking dingy. It was not even moved to block off the narrow parting of the trees. Balz shot us a mischievous grin and slipped around it easily.

“Dude… come on…” Ryan seemed less willing to trespass.

“Dude. Come on,” Balz mocked and gestured to follow him.

Ryan glanced back at me, an indiscernible look of something like a man trying to save face by desperately hiding his disapproval and fear, and gave in to his friend. He walked passed the gate and I only hesitated a moment. I had no say. It would change nothing as they would do what they wanted in disregard of me.

At least I could whet my curiosity.

“Fuck!” Balz suddenly exclaimed.

I only just saw the “doll” move that had been placed on a chair outside the small, white and rusted van wedged between the trees. The woman reached out and took ahold of Balz’s arm, her flowing purple sleeves dancing in the breeze. She rose using him to steady herself and placed the previously concealed wooden coins she had been holding by a conjoining thread on the chair in place of her. She did not look as decrepit as her movements would have suggested.

She turned to apprehend us with surprisingly bright eyes. Her tangled, dark veil of hair swung loosely with the slightest gust of air. Ryan was starting to pull together a hasty apology when her cracked lips parted into a poorly maintained smile.

“I give you future,” she said.

“What?” Balz’s head whipped around with an expression of confused disgust painting his features.

“Whoa, lady,” Ryan raised his hands in rejection. “Look, we don’t want whatever you’re selling.”

“No, you give me money,” she made a familiar gesture for payment. “I tell you future.”

“Oh…” I muttered quietly and tried to ignore the relief that crept up my spine.

“Oh, no, we don’t believe in any of that voodoo shit, okay? We’re sorry we snuck onto your… property,” Balz attempted to apologize but even seemed confused as to what to call her shabby set up.

“No, no, not you,” she waved him off and wobbled up to me.

My shoulders tightened in response. Maybe it was the unmistakable smell of decayed animals and roaches. Perhaps the sight of the tarnished silver that barely formed unfamiliar runes on her fingers and in her ears. Maybe it was the bleached animal bones hanging around her neck. She freaked me out in the most intriguing way I had ever experienced.

“You. I give you future,” she smiled.

I lifted my hands in submission in hopes Ryan’s approach would save me from getting stabbed when I said, “I don’t have any money…”

“I like you. No, for free; I like you. People like you.” She grabbed my wrist with bony fingers, her icy skin chilling me to the core.

She pulled me with unexpected force. I sent a distressed look to Ryan, who seemed paralyzed and unable to react. Balz at least made a half-assed attempt to stop her.

She dragged me over the front of the vehicle and I finally stirred into action. I tugged against her grip, but she was remarkably strong for an assumed feeble old woman. I was not trying too hard in order to not hurt her, but when she proved to have a solid hold I prepared to tear my wrist free. Before I could she swung me around and dropped me into a low-sitting sofa hidden in the bushes. My head jostled a variety of chimes above it tied to a branch. The sound was one of completely haunting dissonance.

She kneeled beneath the tubes and grabbed my face before I could recover. I froze. I had absolutely no idea what to do and my mind ground to a stuttering halt.

“The first of September, the Way of Devotion: Enigma to Loner,” she released me as quickly as she had struck.

A broken grin crinkled her eyes, “I knew.”

“Knew what?” I found my voice.

“You’ve been lost before,” she spoke in what felt like a mirror tongue.

I could not gather the words to respond. Her onyx eyes shined with a solemn determination.

“Just pick yourself up lately, now? Still searching. People like you, it’s sad,” she mumbled in her broken language.

I said nothing but stared at her, scrutinizing every expression and tone I could glean off. She continued to talk.

“You don’t even know, I know. It’s not easy to know. Look,” she reached into her clothing and pulled out a chain. There was an ornate, silver lock on the end of it with two ivory loops on either side.

“You have the key,” she poked my chest and I could feel the metal key around my neck jab into my collarbone.

“Find the person who wears this,” she proffered the lock.

“Then, you find what’s special. Find that special thing that…” she seemed to struggle for the correct words. “That… means to you… you need…”

I lifted my palm to the lock that did not seem big enough to fit the key I had, but it was kind of large so maybe it would with luck I was not willing to immediately entertain. She tried again, “whole.”

My head shot up at that. “Whole.” Deep down, I knew what she meant, but I was unwilling to even try to make sense of it at the time. The truth frightened me too much.

“Don’t let bad examples… keep you from being whole,” and with that, she left me there in stunned silence.

“Bad examples?”

Past relationships.

“Whole?”

The wholeness, the craving for completion people like me so desired. Something that could mean anything to me. Something I could devote myself to. Someone I could set my divinity on.

“You see this?” Jess tapped my arm and pointed to his computer screen.

There was some black and white game open and he hovered his finger above a wall to the left that seemed like it was about to fall apart if someone breathed too close to it. “Something’s gonna burst through that, you watch.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder, and the smell of red fruits in autumn that permanently clung to him encased me. The afternoon light filtering in through the lazily drawn curtains glinted off the silver chain around his neck, leading my gaze to the Celtic design carved into the embellished lock with two ivory loops that jumped on his January skin when something did, in fact, break through that wall.

For all her glory, the old gypsy did have a gift. Whether it was honest or just a very good guessing ability was beside the point. She bestowed an opening in my mind to give way to chance despite my short-comings and downfalls.

I was able to accept these things and understand that it was okay. I found that special thing that “meant to me.” The person who made me whole.