It Had To Be You

Well, that was the best Halloween I had in a while, well minus the car and Maddie's little freak out… ok it was a decent night. Tires are easily replaced and it only took twice through the drive through to get the egg off, ok moving on. But that was a week ago, Lane and I haven't had any alone time since then. It sucks like a Hoover vacuum. Then again I am a dad now any life is better then the pattern of no life I had developed. I don't know it probably isn't that great for Lane, she had a life before me.

Now, living in present time. Thank Jesus and his beard that Madeline doesn't have curling today… her coach is like a drill sergeant too I don't think she'll be in it next year and I really don’t want Ian there either. Hopefully it won't hurt either of their feelings too much- wait a minute that's what I thought about Maddie and her getting Fig. Get a grip Justin, I need a reputation like Lane with the kids. Nah, I still am a kid. Sighing I noticed the time. Lunch time and I still hadn't gotten anything done, considering I've been updating all of our sites and blogging. It might get me in the mood to write something worth while. That or fans might threaten me into it.
There was the library I had to get to.
The laundry needed to be switched over and folded (grimace).
The repair man had to be called, again. No, scratch that one. I'll finish it when it gets warmer.
Fig needed to be walked (we were running late this morning).
I needed to call my parents and all those other people that are my friends…
On top of that I should probably wrap Maddie's birthday gifts one of these days, just in case she finds them.
Oh! It had been a good month or so since little Ian's birthday! I am a dick. First I made the man tie his shoes and then don't even bother to get those Velcro ones… when he's older he's going to realize how un-cool they really are. Hopefully he won't notice how un-cool I am. That is if I still am in his life at that point. Ok, that's it I need to get out now.

Pondering for a moment, all while making a 'pop' sound with my lips and stroking my beard I decided on calling Lane. Maybe her lunch break just started…

"Hello Vadnias Heights clinic. Marilyn speaking." An almost completely monotone voice answered. There were a few clicks of most likely a stapler or pen and I felt suddenly stupid for calling.

"Hi-"

"Sir," This Marilyn almost noted for the conversation, "I believe you have the wrong part of the clinic." I sighed, my 7 year old daughter was more polite than this. No wonder the women that came in were always so grumpy with Lane. They had a bucket of flowers thrown on them before they had to drop draws!

"No, I'm looking for Lane Fergus." Eh, shit my voice was just dripping with the mood I was in. Anxious and now slightly put off and annoyed. She mumbled something back to me mildly surprised and then transferred me.

"Hello?" The hell in hello was emphasized which made me laugh… it must have given me away, "Justin!" It still makes my day hearing how her voice changes when it is me. Yeah, that's my ego speaking this time, I'm a smug one.

"Why yes, yes it is!" I exclaimed back, if only she could see the face I was making. Then I might feel a little stupid though, why is it I can't help but make hand motions and facial expression while I'm on the phone? "So I was wondering if you would go on a fantastical, delicious, nutritious and possibly over priced lunch date with me?" She giggled on the other end and then there was silence.

"Well, first off if you can say that all in one breath again and secondly I'd just have to pull myself away from our co-workers big lunch outing today…" The sarcasm rang loudly through her voice. I chuckled and scratched my chin.

"If you can't it is ok. I was going to take Fig on a walk and get back to the library-" The sentence was cut off and interrupted by an idea.

"I could walk and just pick up another sandwich. We could meet a that one park by the fountain." I smiled and quickly reminisced about that day. Honestly and truly it is one of those day I fear I might regret… oddly enough that's the way I show I'm happy at the moment?

"Oh yeah!" I shouted remembering about Ian again, thankfully it sounded like I was agreeing. Although it sounded way to enthusiastic. "Um, this is short notice," What isn't with us? "But I was thinking that I should get Ian those fantastical Velcro shoes one of these fine days. Do you think we could go to the mall tonight?"

"Uh-hmmm…" Yep, this was a bad idea, not the worst but not the greatest, "My lunch break hasn't started yet so can we talk about this in about- oh fifteen minutes? And what is up with the fantastical today, might I add." I shrugged to myself and stretched causing my voice to sound a little deep and pulled out.

"I am not sure… but that plan sounds fantastical." She laughed and must have rolled her eyes at me, possibly shook her head. Now that is just common knowledge speaking right there. We said our goodbyes and I got ready. Hat, gloves, leash, coat, and my messenger back full of books, all a check.

"You promise not to run over any other small children today?" I asked to the mutt sitting lazily in front of me. He looked away guiltily, "Men are ok- no men could beat the crap out of me. Just don't run anyone over. You make me look bad and it doesn't always work out the way it did." Fig glanced at me with his dark brown eyes moving in his head and then wagged his tail as I reached to clasp the leash on, "And this thing smells- by the way." With that we walked out the door to another chilly November day.

When we arrived Lane was sitting, nose pink, and slowly sipping a hot drink. Fig and I got closer and there was her purse with a big brown bag next to it. She stood up when she saw us and had a smirk plastered on her face. Fig sat down leaning against her leg which she lost a little balance, I know what you're doing Fig. Close but not quite toppling! Clever. Moving on, I dropped the arm holding the leash and gave her a small hug.

"I got you some green tea." She held up another white cup with steam rolling off of it. I thanked her and gladly took a sip burning my tongue in the process, of course. Then again it just wouldn't be the same if I didn't do that every time. "So what were you thinking about later tonight?"

"Well I said I would help Ian pick out some shoes-"

"You remembered that?!" She was shocked, I have no clue why…"He finally stopped hounding me about- I didn't even remember that!" Lane smacked her forehead and then shook her head. I sat very still and looked around, maybe I'm obsessive? "Sandwich?" she offered shaking me out of my thought.

"Please. Um, but, I was thinking we could go tonight if you aren't doing anything. Maddie doesn't have curling and Kenzie can come." Yes kids, I Justin Pierre just invited a teenage girl to the mall. We have discovered that she isn't a spaz but I have no clue how'll she'll behave in the mall habitat. It could possibly take forever…Lane blinked a few times and then tilted her head to one shoulder. Funny although she didn't take much notice to me hiding the smile on my face.

"I guess. How soon after school though?" I pondered a minute staring out to what was now the fully dead landscape. It is to the point now where the ground is just waiting for snow and all the leaves are no longer pretty but instead a butt-ugly brown. We couldn't do it too late or else we'd have cranky messes and too early they'd still be strung out on the excitement of school…

"I'd say about 4:00- 4:30 ish." She nodded and scrunched her nose, "We could car pool if you want." A choked sound came from her throat and then she sighed.

"It will have to be my car. Kenzie has a orthodontist's appointment." Lane and I confirmed our plans and then commenced to eating the rest of our food. Ha, we'll have a car-seat, "What?" she asked looking at me sideways. I shook my head to never mind it, "No, tell me…" Lane was intrigued and I couldn’t wait, meanly enough for her babbling to start. She playfully hit my shoulder and I laughed even harder seeing the least intimidating scowl ever.

"There'll be a car-seat." She was about to hit my shoulder again but instead started concentrating too hard on eating her sandwich. I then caught sight of how much rosier she had become. When she finally couldn't shove anymore in her mouth she set the food down on the wrapper, "I didn't realize how hungry you were." Lane's mouth twitched down at one side and up at the other. She averted her eyes away from me a second later, I couldn't help but stare down at her now cold-to-the-touch hair confused.

"Oh God! it was just that night-" she gulped filling her mouth with saliva again, "I wish I would have kissed you…" My mouth fell slack and I pulled her closer with my arm around her waist.

"I feel the same." I said simply and she leaned her head on my shoulder (the one that she was previously beating). Slowly Lane's head lifted, the scent of her was drifting to my nose, "Why- why didn't you?" Another embarrassed string of words jumbled together.

"I ate too much and didn't want to scare you away. I mean I had ran into you like five times by that point," It was only two but who's counting? "I looked like a stalker! On top of that I just-" Lane took a sip of her drink, I casually followed waiting for her to go on. Eventually I got that she wasn't going to and we sat in a comfortable silence. She finished the other triangle of her sandwich before I released her from my death grip.

"Do you want me to pick any books for you?" Lane shook her head no and I raised an eyebrow mostly because the situation called for it. And well, I hadn't done it all day.

"Joe just sent me one." Oh.

"Jolynn? Or Joe your brother?" Since when did either of those two become in charge of picking out books?! That was my job. Ok, now I'm just being whiney and easily hurt over nothing. It had to come sometime.

"My brother. Said he wanted it back before he came down for Thanksgiving." I let out a snort. Lane shivered and turned away from me. I contained myself.

"That's like three weeks!"

"Shut up." She acted as if she was hurt but then turned facing me with a fake evil eye.

"I could solve world hunger in that time." I pointed to my bag and then she mouthed 'really', "Yeah, I've solved it twice already."

"Let me guess they just got hungry again?" We both burst out laughing and I nodded. Fig crossed his paws and sighed loudly, "Someone needs a nap."

"No, he's just a diva." Lane didn't question me, I must be that crazy. I kept staring at Fig begging with my ESP to be a good dog for at least 15 minutes longer. Meanwhile Lane was packing up, she stood up before saying a word.

"I have to get back…" I stood with Fig still laying on my feet. With more grace then I've had in my entire life I managed to do it and keep balance. Lane wrapped her arms around my waist and then kissed my cheek, "See you at four."

"Yeah." All I could say now? "Bye Laney." Ok, well that's a little better, come on asshole a better goodbye then that. She had her back to me, and was putting her purse on one shoulder then with a toss got the paper bag into the garbage about three feet away. With that she was gone, although I felt a wave of relief. I didn't need to say anymore, I think.

To put it shortly my day was nothing but productive from there. I walked Fig and then watched some court TV while folding laundry. Yeah, two things I'm a hot shot stay at home dad. Maddie and I walked home, from there I let her go to the neighbors to play until four. Lane came in and Kenzie followed oddly enough licking her teeth.

"Show me that grill." I said as she walked into the kitchen. She paused and laughed to herself embarrassed, "Did you get the colors changed or what?" Kenzie was startled and spread her lips around her teeth as big as she could.

"They took them off." I gave a small compliment and she looked happier then a clam in chowder, "Although now I have a lisp now…"

"That's what I thought too. But you really can't tell." Her face brightened. Lane walked in again holding Ian's hand. They must have been chatting, she shook her head and then shot me a apprehensive glance. I thought it odd but smiled anyways, Lane mustered one back.

Once Ian and Madeline went to the bathroom we started the half hour trip. We shuffled out of the car, managed to almost get run over about twice, and then split going to our different stores. Lane agreed to take Maddie to Limited Too, Ian and I were going to any shoe store we could find and Kenzie went off on her own. Mind you Lane told her to put the things she wanted on hold so they could weed through and pick what she could get. Although I think Kenzie took more as Lane pictured her picking out spiked choker collars and what-not… On top of that I promised to take her to Spencer's. Lane agreed to that one seeing as how she didn't need or want anything in there- and I know what I don't want in there… the kids.

"Jus- Justin?" Ian sat kicking his feet while I searched for his size. I turned and pushed up my glasses, he remained with a poker face, "Mom says you aren't my daddy." I nearly shit myself! We couldn't be spending that much time together, if Ian felt that way what did Madeline think of Lane? And why wasn't I going into a panic attack?

"Is- is that what you two were talking about earlier?" He nodded and I scratched my sideburns. Stepping forward I pulled off one of his shoes, "What did she say about that?"

"She said that you wouldn't like it if I called you that. " His face broke from serious to sour, I chuckled, "But I want you as my dad."

"Hm, why's that?" Really there was no way that I was that likeable.

"You're cool and you play with me and I want a dad… and," He looked around and stared at the ceiling, "I like your shews and hair and…Fig!" Ian's feet were kicking rapidly, like mother like son. A warm feeling was taking me over and not of the panic type. While I tried to put one of the 'shews' on I realized I was shaking.

"Which one do you like better?" My knees popped as I stood up afterwards I had to sigh at my feat of getting off the ground. I'm old. He stood up and clicked his heels then sauntered around.

"The one with the rhinos." He stuck the foot out without that one on it and kicked the shoe off.

"That sounds good. It is like a dinosaur I guess." Ian crinkled is nose and rapidly shook his head. I was taken aback and put the discarded shoe back into its box.

"I don't like dinosaurs anymore." Mouthing an 'oh' he went on and kept walking like he was really trying to see if the shoe was comfortable. He was like a 50 year old in afour five year olds body. Ian nodded in agreement with himself and then circled a few times somehow landing back on the bench. He managed to put on the other shoe. I ripped off the tag and then we went to pay for them.

As he walked the white shoes squeaked and the golden shaded rhinoceros shimmered. He walked with a new swagger which made me laugh on the inside. We met up with Lane but she said Madeline wanted to see one more store. I felt bad seeing that she spent probably about three times as much as I did on Ian. She didn't seem to have a worry in the world, it made me feel a little better. Still she took Ian and Kenzie headed towards Spencer's. She seemed more skittish then before in front of me, were we digressing? After about ten minutes of perusing around she dropped her arms and let out a big sigh.

"Justin?" I was confused, I'd never heard this tone. Unknown territory… Oh god. I looked up and she shyly tucked her hair behind her reddening ears.

"Yeah Ken?" Nicknames, they usually comfort people right? What do I know, I'm not a normal person… ok shut up Justin yes you are.

"I- just, I can't tell anyone and I thought that you might-" Kenzie paused her ears and now whole face flushed with color. Out of habit she licked her teeth, good lord, I couldn't take this anymore I was beginning to notice my own foot tapping. By the way you can stop now.

"Well, if you need to talk I'm listening." That's why they told me in therapy and rehab. It works, apparently. But this funky monkey in front of me seems to be different.

"Ok, I need to explain something first." She started strong and then the sentence trailed, "I haven't even told Lane this," Well that's expected. Most of the time I figured Kenzie kept a lot from her, that's the vibe I got, well and what I was told, "She thinks the reason why I started drinking and well- all of that was because I wanted attention…" We moved to flipping through posters, "It was partly that." Suddenly her eyes went blank and I felt uncomfortable, "I started feeling things. And it wasn't normal for girls my age. I just didn't like- boys." The words were choked out, "I owe you an apology for your car too…" Just as quickly as he eyes went dark they were sorry, "The night of the concert Andy and I well, we broke up because I wouldn't…" I cleared my throat and shuffled downward.

"Lane told me about the birth control…sorry. Continue." My hands went limply into my jacket pockets and Kenzie nodded. With a head motion we went outside to a bench.

"When he came to our house I was scarred… so I just hid in my room. I- I know I should have called the police but… Mrs. Baker already has most of my reputation ruined as it is…"

"High school, I know. It's hell." Her smile was as small as she must have felt. I sat forward and folded my hands. Kenzie wiggled a little bit and with staggered breathing she mumbled something.

"I know you probably don't care but I thought that maybe you would understand a little better then Lane could… Not that you're gay." She added trying to defend herself or me… I'm not sure.

"No but I do like girls." She shot a glance at me filled with slight relief. Next question do I tell Lane or would that be like broadcasting for Kenzie? I mean it would make me the man to solve that problem, which I wouldn't mind so much. I gave a smile back to Kenzie seeing her staring at me, "We should probably head back."

"I shouldn't have told you." I just barely heard her mutter. I stopped and felt a little honored that she would though. Sighing I patted her back she stopped frozen, "Thank you." We silently nodded to each other and l searched inconspicuously for bathrooms as we walked. I finally found one once we met up with Lane in the food court.

I was turned off a little but who wouldn't be in this situation, but for Justin Pierre? I was engulfed in fixing their problems, like Kenzie was my own sister and I really was Ian's son. Could this be good or was I dealing with this the wrong way? A man behind me shoved his way through to the sink and I couldn't help but mumble a 'fuckin' sorry dude'. Pacing back to the bench in the bathroom I went back to thinking. In fact this was the first time in my life when I wanted to have more people to worry about, it was like the gods were compelling me. Hell I need an exorcism. But then they wouldn't matter to me…