From Sunsets to Monroeville

Frank waved Allison goodbye as she crossed over to her side of the complex. She blew him a kiss and waited for her mom to open the door, and then entered her house. She had just called to tell Allison to get home, that she'd have to work on whatever she was doing with Frank at another time.

Yeah, right.

Closing the door, Frank looked back into his living room. Allison and he had left the room a mess, with books and papers strewn all over the place. But now that she had left, Frank saw that it was really him that was making the mess. He smirked to himself as he picked up the pizza box and put it in the kitchen, and threw out the two soda cans.

He grabbed his backpack, shoving all his papers inside and lugged it up the stairs towards his room. Abandoning the bag by the doorway, he flopped down on his bed face first, and took a deep breath. Frank smiled when he recognized the familiar smell that now stained his pillow. He inhaled the scent her perfume, and a small hint of her shampoo. Glad it was now on his pillowcase, his eyes lulled closed.

A small thought crossed his mind just then, that he should be glad for a lot of things. Because things weren't necessarily wonderful the day before, at that exact time, when he'd fucked things up. If Allison and himself didn't make an effort to make things right, she never would've been over today.

Wow, how stupid he'd been the day before. He knew what he should've done, what he shouldn't have done, what he could've done, what he would've done had it been another day. Could've, would've, should've, but he didn't do any of it. He took the easy, stupid way out.

Frank frowned, why was he living in the past? He always had to mess things up by re-living yesterday. When was he ever going to live in the moment, and actually live his life the way he should?

Can't, don't, won't, all the excuses he's ever used in his life. Things he didn't want to use anymore, just because he knew it would get him nowhere. What was re-living the past, making excuses, and ruining days going to do for him?

Frank rolled over onto his back, and put his hands over his eyes, palms down. He rubbed them continuously, trying to erase all the stupid thoughts he had in his head. But he always ended up with the same request, to stop re-living yesterday. Another frown came upon his face, and he closed his eyes tight, removing his hands, and tried to think of something else.

Automatically, he daydreamed of running away. Running away far, maybe back to New Jersey, back to his home, or maybe to a new place, somewhere across the country. He thought about his feet pounding on the concrete below him, or walking gracefully to wherever his destination was, anything to get him away from his new home. Then another picture popped up in his mind, one of a girl close to his height with brown hair and brown eyes, smiling beside him. He took her hand and led her along with him, to where he wasn't sure, and suddenly he felt a little better.

Eyes springing open, Frank realized something: he wanted Allison to run with him. Although she'd probably be the logic in their organization, and talk about their parents coming after them, he wanted her there anyway. He didn't care what it took, or what they'd have to do to get away - he wanted out of the hell his house was.

Frank slowly rose from his bed and slid his hand under the bed, searching blindly for his notebook. It was a spiral notebook full of songs and random thoughts, something he wrote in a lot back in Jersey. The front cover was torn and ratty looking, but it harbored some of Frank's deepest, innermost thoughts. And now he had a new one to add.

Flipping through a couple of pages, filled with his scratchy handwriting, he came to a blank page. He bit his lip, trying to think of a title, and came up with 'A Significant Life'. His pen, which was kept in the spirals of the notebook, came down sharply on his paper, scribbling his thoughts quickly.

I think of running away.

That's what he wrote first. He frowned and leaned back, trying to think of something else. Then he thought of his girlfriend across the street and smiled, writing her name down and then a small stick figure next to it, and his sad attempts at a heart.

I wanna run with you.

Frank wrote that underneath her name. Then he added, I don't care where or what we gotta do. He frowned, and scribbled out 'where or', deciding he liked it better without it.

At the bottom, in big letters he wrote I'm re-living yesterday way too much. Suddenly, he heard the front door creak open and then slam shut. The familiar feeling of fear crept up his spine but settled when he heard the soft sigh that he knew must be his mother's.

But he kept the focus on his paper in front of him. He scribbled down that it now felt like yesterday a couple times, but then crossed out 'now' and put 'cause it'. Once he realized that it didn't make sense, he wrote 'feels' instead, when he heard his mother's approaching footsteps.

Frank thought she'd head straight to her room, but instead she continued on down the hall until she stood in his doorway. He could feel her hard gaze on the side of his head, but he ignored it and tried concentrating on his paper.

"Uh, Frank?" Mrs. Iero said quietly. "Can we talk?"

"Talk," Frank muttered, tapping his pen against the paper. Great, now his concentration is gone.

"So uh, I had a talk with mom..." She began. "And I already told her, and she suggested I tell you...So this is it, I guess."

"Uh-huh."

"Well...I've been going to AA meetings down at this place..."

"AA?" Frank questioned, turning to look at her. She had seated herself on the edge of his bed.

"A-alcoholics Anonymous," she stuttered.

There we go, Frank wrote on his paper. A little underneath it, he drew a standard house. A square with a slightly bigger triangle on top, to simulate it. Then he wrote HOME underneath, in all capitals.

"Continue," Frank said.

"Well, yeah. I've joined their 12-step program, and I'm gonna stop drinking and stuff. I've made a lot of friends there that are helping me too, and I have one that I'm supposed to call whenever I want a drink and shit too..."

"I see," her son then said.

"I know I haven't really been...myself lately. It's just been the move, and then not being able to get a job and then your father..."

Your excuses bore me, Frank wrote angrily underneath his picture of a house. A little away from that, at the mention of his father he wrote things will never be the same.

"But things are gonna get better, Frank," Mrs. Iero said softly, after glancing over at his drawings and such. "Believe me."

"I'm sure," Frank snapped. I just can't walk away from who I am, can I?

The phone began ringing as Frank's mom continued talking about the program. As she yapped on, Frank looked at her out of the corner of her eye.

"Aren't you going to get that?"

"And - wha? Oh, no. Let the machine get it. So like I was saying, Ashley was talking to us today about -"

Beep! And then the machine asked the caller to take a message. Frank tuned out his mother and strained to hear the message the person was gonna leave.

"Linda," a voice snapped, ringing out loudly through the house. Mrs. Iero came to a stop, letting out a squeak, and Frank felt all the color drain out of his face. They both turned to the doorway as he continued. "It's uh, me. I was just callin to check in on you. But I guess you're out or somethin'...whatever bitch. I'll call you later...and tell that fuckin' pansy he better be good. Or else." Click.

Frank released a breath he didn't know he was holding and went back to his notebook. He closed his eyes, feeling his mother's gaze on him again. But when he turned his head to look at her, she was already out the door. He saw the top of her head go down the stairs, and heard her open the kitchen door.

The unmistakable hiss of a bottle being opened a couple seconds later hit Frank like a ton of bricks. Before he snapped his notebook closed, he crossed out 'A Significant Life' and wrote 'Yesterday' instead. Then he stuffed the pen in the rings, and threw it back underneath the bed. Closing his eyes, Frank leaned back and hoped for sleep to take over him.