I'm Not Okay
034
******** Two weeks later*********
"Gerard!" I yelled as I was laying on the sofa; I had a headache and the light was bugging me so I had a towel over my head to block out the light.
"Yeah?" He said coming into the room, I could hear his footsteps.
"Baby is hungry."
"Is baby hungry or is Frankie hungry?" He asked, I smiled.
"Both." I smiled, I heard him laugh and he bent over to peck my lips.
"Okay, I'll go order us some pizza. Don't forget Mikey and Ray are coming over,"
"Ugh!" I groaned and pressed the towel further over my eyes.
"You're the one who wanted to work in the next album." He said and I stuck my tongue out at him, I heard him walk away and order some pizza, when he finished he came back and made me lift up my feet so he could sit. When he say down he took off my shoes and began to rub my feet.
"So when are we gonna tell people that you're pregnant?"
"Never, were gonna say Bryce's birth mother was pregnant again and contacted us so her kids could be together."
"That's a smart plan but I meant Mikey and your mom."
"Oh, uh, last time I told my mom I was five weeks along and you told Mikey when I was like, I don't know past twelve weeks. I'm only six weeks now but you're not supposed to talk about it until you're like twelve weeks along."
"Why twelve?" He asked as he switched feet.
"Because you’re less likely to miscarry past twelve weeks," I explained.
"Okay, when do you think you'll start showing?" He asked as he stopped rubbing my feet and started to rub my belly.
"I barely started showing at eleven weeks last time but at seventeen weeks I was definitely pregnant, ask Mikey." I laughed, he laughed as well.
"I think Mikey kinda already knows."
"Gee did you tell him?" I asked taking off the towel, my headache was starting to fade away.
"No but when he came over last week to help nice all the music equipment down to the basement I think he figured it out."
"Makes sense." I paused and started to think about having a newborn, "Do you think we should switched Bryce and the new baby's room?" I asked.
"More moving? Why?"
"Well I have Bryce his room because it's closer to my room for when he needs me, but when this one comes peanut will be either one or almost one so he won't need us a much as a newborn will. So it will just make it easier for us during midnight feelings and two am diaper changes."
"I get what you mean but I don't wanna move all his things." He whined then laid down in my lap with his head resting next to my tummy, "I'm lazy Frankie, don't try to change me." He whined.
I rolled my eyes at him and started to play with his hair. He sighed in content with me playing with his hair and we just laid like that for a few minutes. When the doorbell rang signaling the pizza guy was here I rolled Gerard off of me and got up to pay for it, Gerard stayed on the sofa and I once again rolled my eyes at him. I could smell the pizza as soon as I stood up and the smell made my stomach turn, and before I knew it I was running down the hall to the bathroom and threw my guys into it. After I wiped my mouth Gerard came into the room giving me a sad look.
"Do you want me to throw it away?"
"No, that's just a waste of money, what kind of things would we be teaching Bryce?"
"Frank he's not even four months old. Plus the pizza smell is making you sick; I can throw it away and make you a sandwich."
"Hmmm, a peanut butter and toffee sandwich sounds so good right now." I mumbled to myself.
"Ew, I was thinking something healthy like a ham or turkey."
"You were thinking healthy yet you ordered pizza?"
"Pizza is healthy, it has: dairy, grain, sometimes meat, vegetables-"
"Where are there veggies in a cheese pizza?"
"Tomatoes in the sauce, duh." He said then I rolled my eyes at him. He leaned down to kiss me but I loved away, he pulled back and have me a confused look.
"Unless you wanna taste this morning breakfast," I said point to my mouth, "I wouldn't kiss me."
"Fine, okay how about you brush your teeth and I make you a peanut butter sandwich and apple slices. Good compromise?"
"Fine, keep the pizza for when the guys get here." I told him. He nodded and left the room to make good while I brushed my teeth. When I no longer had this morning’s breakfast taste on my mouth I went upstairs and took peanut from his crib before going downstairs. When I got there Gerard out down the plate on the table and when he saw peanut he got out a small packet of applesauce.
"Apples for daddy." I said as I took a bite of my apple and Bryce was looking up at me, "And applesauce for baby." I said as I gave him a spoonful, about half of fell out of his mouth and I had to re-feed it to him.
"Well isn't this cute!" Ray said as he came in and sat down next to me.
"Ray you can't break into my house."
"I didn't the door was open." He defended himself.
I rolled my eyes and finished feeding my baby before handing him over to Ray who was waiting for him. Ray carried him downstairs, Mikey came over not long later and we all got to work. We wrote a whole song and started writing the music that would go to it before it was getting late. Peanut was getting fussy so I had to put him to bed while the guys were still downstairs working. As I entered the hallway my stomach started to feel a little weird and I knew I would throw up soon as I decided to stay upstairs until I did. But as I turned the corner to the bathroom I saw Mikey leaning against the door.
"Hey Mikes..." The pit in my stomach was starting to grow.
"Hey Frank, what you up to?" He asked.
"Just hanging out up here in case Bryce needs me."
"Oh, well why don't you go down I'll watch him."
"I'm good thanks." I said forcing a smile; I could feel bile starting to creep up my throat.
"Then I'll just wait here, I miss seeing my nephew."
I nodded my head but doing that made the feeling worse and I knew I couldn't hold it in anymore. I ran into the bathroom and vomited the lunch Gerard made for me, Mikey followed me and held my hair back and let me do my thing and gave me a glass of water when I finished.
“You’re pregnant again aren’t you?” He asked and gave me a stick of gum. I sighed and nodded. “Why did you guys tell me sooner? Was I not that supportive your first pregnancy?” He asked looking hurt.
“No, no, no, no!” I said shaking my head, “Technically you’re not supposed to tell anyone before twelve weeks because you can miscarry and I’m only six weeks along so yeah…”
“Well I’m happy for the two of you.”
“Thanks Mikey.”
"Gerard!" I yelled as I was laying on the sofa; I had a headache and the light was bugging me so I had a towel over my head to block out the light.
"Yeah?" He said coming into the room, I could hear his footsteps.
"Baby is hungry."
"Is baby hungry or is Frankie hungry?" He asked, I smiled.
"Both." I smiled, I heard him laugh and he bent over to peck my lips.
"Okay, I'll go order us some pizza. Don't forget Mikey and Ray are coming over,"
"Ugh!" I groaned and pressed the towel further over my eyes.
"You're the one who wanted to work in the next album." He said and I stuck my tongue out at him, I heard him walk away and order some pizza, when he finished he came back and made me lift up my feet so he could sit. When he say down he took off my shoes and began to rub my feet.
"So when are we gonna tell people that you're pregnant?"
"Never, were gonna say Bryce's birth mother was pregnant again and contacted us so her kids could be together."
"That's a smart plan but I meant Mikey and your mom."
"Oh, uh, last time I told my mom I was five weeks along and you told Mikey when I was like, I don't know past twelve weeks. I'm only six weeks now but you're not supposed to talk about it until you're like twelve weeks along."
"Why twelve?" He asked as he switched feet.
"Because you’re less likely to miscarry past twelve weeks," I explained.
"Okay, when do you think you'll start showing?" He asked as he stopped rubbing my feet and started to rub my belly.
"I barely started showing at eleven weeks last time but at seventeen weeks I was definitely pregnant, ask Mikey." I laughed, he laughed as well.
"I think Mikey kinda already knows."
"Gee did you tell him?" I asked taking off the towel, my headache was starting to fade away.
"No but when he came over last week to help nice all the music equipment down to the basement I think he figured it out."
"Makes sense." I paused and started to think about having a newborn, "Do you think we should switched Bryce and the new baby's room?" I asked.
"More moving? Why?"
"Well I have Bryce his room because it's closer to my room for when he needs me, but when this one comes peanut will be either one or almost one so he won't need us a much as a newborn will. So it will just make it easier for us during midnight feelings and two am diaper changes."
"I get what you mean but I don't wanna move all his things." He whined then laid down in my lap with his head resting next to my tummy, "I'm lazy Frankie, don't try to change me." He whined.
I rolled my eyes at him and started to play with his hair. He sighed in content with me playing with his hair and we just laid like that for a few minutes. When the doorbell rang signaling the pizza guy was here I rolled Gerard off of me and got up to pay for it, Gerard stayed on the sofa and I once again rolled my eyes at him. I could smell the pizza as soon as I stood up and the smell made my stomach turn, and before I knew it I was running down the hall to the bathroom and threw my guys into it. After I wiped my mouth Gerard came into the room giving me a sad look.
"Do you want me to throw it away?"
"No, that's just a waste of money, what kind of things would we be teaching Bryce?"
"Frank he's not even four months old. Plus the pizza smell is making you sick; I can throw it away and make you a sandwich."
"Hmmm, a peanut butter and toffee sandwich sounds so good right now." I mumbled to myself.
"Ew, I was thinking something healthy like a ham or turkey."
"You were thinking healthy yet you ordered pizza?"
"Pizza is healthy, it has: dairy, grain, sometimes meat, vegetables-"
"Where are there veggies in a cheese pizza?"
"Tomatoes in the sauce, duh." He said then I rolled my eyes at him. He leaned down to kiss me but I loved away, he pulled back and have me a confused look.
"Unless you wanna taste this morning breakfast," I said point to my mouth, "I wouldn't kiss me."
"Fine, okay how about you brush your teeth and I make you a peanut butter sandwich and apple slices. Good compromise?"
"Fine, keep the pizza for when the guys get here." I told him. He nodded and left the room to make good while I brushed my teeth. When I no longer had this morning’s breakfast taste on my mouth I went upstairs and took peanut from his crib before going downstairs. When I got there Gerard out down the plate on the table and when he saw peanut he got out a small packet of applesauce.
"Apples for daddy." I said as I took a bite of my apple and Bryce was looking up at me, "And applesauce for baby." I said as I gave him a spoonful, about half of fell out of his mouth and I had to re-feed it to him.
"Well isn't this cute!" Ray said as he came in and sat down next to me.
"Ray you can't break into my house."
"I didn't the door was open." He defended himself.
I rolled my eyes and finished feeding my baby before handing him over to Ray who was waiting for him. Ray carried him downstairs, Mikey came over not long later and we all got to work. We wrote a whole song and started writing the music that would go to it before it was getting late. Peanut was getting fussy so I had to put him to bed while the guys were still downstairs working. As I entered the hallway my stomach started to feel a little weird and I knew I would throw up soon as I decided to stay upstairs until I did. But as I turned the corner to the bathroom I saw Mikey leaning against the door.
"Hey Mikes..." The pit in my stomach was starting to grow.
"Hey Frank, what you up to?" He asked.
"Just hanging out up here in case Bryce needs me."
"Oh, well why don't you go down I'll watch him."
"I'm good thanks." I said forcing a smile; I could feel bile starting to creep up my throat.
"Then I'll just wait here, I miss seeing my nephew."
I nodded my head but doing that made the feeling worse and I knew I couldn't hold it in anymore. I ran into the bathroom and vomited the lunch Gerard made for me, Mikey followed me and held my hair back and let me do my thing and gave me a glass of water when I finished.
“You’re pregnant again aren’t you?” He asked and gave me a stick of gum. I sighed and nodded. “Why did you guys tell me sooner? Was I not that supportive your first pregnancy?” He asked looking hurt.
“No, no, no, no!” I said shaking my head, “Technically you’re not supposed to tell anyone before twelve weeks because you can miscarry and I’m only six weeks along so yeah…”
“Well I’m happy for the two of you.”
“Thanks Mikey.”