I'm Not Okay
040
"What is it?" I asked sitting in the rocking chair, it was around Bryce's nap time so I decided to rock him back and forth in my arms till he fell asleep.
"The press knows..."
"They what!" I yelled, I startled peanut and he started crying in my arms from the loud noise. I cursed under my breath before getting him a pacifier and putting him back in his crib. I grassed Gerard by the wrist out of his room.
"They know about me being pregnant?" I whisper hissed.
"No, they know about us, as a couple."
Oh thank The Lord. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be but still, we had a plan. After the divorce was finalized we would come out as a couple, so all the MSI fans wouldn't think Gerard cheated, or that he was gay. But now everyone knows! What will out fans think? Will they hate us? Oh god, we haven't told Gerard's mother, what will she think?
"How? How the fuck does everyone know? We don't leave the house!"
"I know, apparently some of my old neighbors heard all of our arguments then noticed I hadn't been around and then your neighbors saw me hanging around here a lot more, then I guess someone saw us kiss through the window."
"Well fuck them!" I shouted, "It’s my damn house! I should be able to kids whoever I want without worrying my neighbors will go off telling the press!"
"Frankie baby calm down." He said grabbing me and pulling me into a hug, at first I struggled against him but he held me tight and I eventually melted into the hug.
"Everything is gonna be okay. I'll call out manger to see if we can talk to the press about it and ease the tension."
"What are they saying...? The fans?"
"The Frerard have never been happier."
"I mean what are they saying negatively? And what about peanut?"
"We don't have really any homophobic fans and no one’s talking about peanut. Calm down baby. The only bad this is that MSI fans are pretty pissed off." He said and hugged me tighter.
"I hate this; I hate our names and lives being the center of attention and everyone wanting to be up in our business. I want a normal life where people don't butt in and I want my son and other kids to be able to walk around and enjoy themselves without strangers asking who their father is. I just wanna be normal." I said crying into his shirt.
"Shhhh baby, it's gonna be okay." Gerard said rubbing my back as I sobbed into his shirt.
We stayed like that for a bit until his phone started to ring again. He pulled away from me for a moment to answer it.
"Hey Ray." He started; I pulled away from him and walked into our room. I wasn't really upset anymore; like I knew our relationship at some point was gonna have to come out and the world would soon know about it, but I just didn't want it or be this soon. I wanted the world to know about I after Gerard was fully divorced so people won't think he cheated with me (even though he did) Gerard's a good guy and deserves a great reputation. About an hour later Gerard came in the room and spooned me from behind.
"I called and scheduled a press meeting for tomorrow." He said kissing my scalp. "The whole band is gonna be there."
"Ok."
"You should call your mom, ask her if she can watch peanut."
"Ok." I said pulling away from the embrace to grab my phone, as soon as I had my phone back in my hands I snuggles into his chest and called my mom.
"Hello Frankie! How's my baby and grand-baby?"
"Were okay, so the press found out and Gerard and I so we scheduled a press meet up tomorrow. Can you watch Bryce?"
"Oh baby I’d love to, but I'm going out of town tomorrow, if it were any other day-"
"It's fine mom, thanks anyways. I love you."
"Love you to baby, good luck!" Then she hung up.
"It looks like Bryce is going to his first press meeting tomorrow." I said snuggling closer to Gee.
"Your mom can't? We can ask my mom-"
"Who live in New Jersey? No, well put him in the stroller and have a blanket covering him, plus Brian can watch him while we’re on stage. He'll be fine." I said with no emotion.
"You okay baby?"
"I'm pregnant, what do you expect?" I mumbled into his chest. I felt the vibrations from him laughing and I smiled to myself.
"The meeting is tomorrow at one in the afternoon."
"Great that's peanuts nap time, he should be asleep the whole time."
"The press knows..."
"They what!" I yelled, I startled peanut and he started crying in my arms from the loud noise. I cursed under my breath before getting him a pacifier and putting him back in his crib. I grassed Gerard by the wrist out of his room.
"They know about me being pregnant?" I whisper hissed.
"No, they know about us, as a couple."
Oh thank The Lord. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be but still, we had a plan. After the divorce was finalized we would come out as a couple, so all the MSI fans wouldn't think Gerard cheated, or that he was gay. But now everyone knows! What will out fans think? Will they hate us? Oh god, we haven't told Gerard's mother, what will she think?
"How? How the fuck does everyone know? We don't leave the house!"
"I know, apparently some of my old neighbors heard all of our arguments then noticed I hadn't been around and then your neighbors saw me hanging around here a lot more, then I guess someone saw us kiss through the window."
"Well fuck them!" I shouted, "It’s my damn house! I should be able to kids whoever I want without worrying my neighbors will go off telling the press!"
"Frankie baby calm down." He said grabbing me and pulling me into a hug, at first I struggled against him but he held me tight and I eventually melted into the hug.
"Everything is gonna be okay. I'll call out manger to see if we can talk to the press about it and ease the tension."
"What are they saying...? The fans?"
"The Frerard have never been happier."
"I mean what are they saying negatively? And what about peanut?"
"We don't have really any homophobic fans and no one’s talking about peanut. Calm down baby. The only bad this is that MSI fans are pretty pissed off." He said and hugged me tighter.
"I hate this; I hate our names and lives being the center of attention and everyone wanting to be up in our business. I want a normal life where people don't butt in and I want my son and other kids to be able to walk around and enjoy themselves without strangers asking who their father is. I just wanna be normal." I said crying into his shirt.
"Shhhh baby, it's gonna be okay." Gerard said rubbing my back as I sobbed into his shirt.
We stayed like that for a bit until his phone started to ring again. He pulled away from me for a moment to answer it.
"Hey Ray." He started; I pulled away from him and walked into our room. I wasn't really upset anymore; like I knew our relationship at some point was gonna have to come out and the world would soon know about it, but I just didn't want it or be this soon. I wanted the world to know about I after Gerard was fully divorced so people won't think he cheated with me (even though he did) Gerard's a good guy and deserves a great reputation. About an hour later Gerard came in the room and spooned me from behind.
"I called and scheduled a press meeting for tomorrow." He said kissing my scalp. "The whole band is gonna be there."
"Ok."
"You should call your mom, ask her if she can watch peanut."
"Ok." I said pulling away from the embrace to grab my phone, as soon as I had my phone back in my hands I snuggles into his chest and called my mom.
"Hello Frankie! How's my baby and grand-baby?"
"Were okay, so the press found out and Gerard and I so we scheduled a press meet up tomorrow. Can you watch Bryce?"
"Oh baby I’d love to, but I'm going out of town tomorrow, if it were any other day-"
"It's fine mom, thanks anyways. I love you."
"Love you to baby, good luck!" Then she hung up.
"It looks like Bryce is going to his first press meeting tomorrow." I said snuggling closer to Gee.
"Your mom can't? We can ask my mom-"
"Who live in New Jersey? No, well put him in the stroller and have a blanket covering him, plus Brian can watch him while we’re on stage. He'll be fine." I said with no emotion.
"You okay baby?"
"I'm pregnant, what do you expect?" I mumbled into his chest. I felt the vibrations from him laughing and I smiled to myself.
"The meeting is tomorrow at one in the afternoon."
"Great that's peanuts nap time, he should be asleep the whole time."