Fireworks

“Anika!” Audrey calls out. She’s wishing Anika hasn’t come home yet; that she’s still at the office with Ashwin. Honestly, it’d be so much more preferable than the teasing she knew she was going to get if she was home.

But, of course, that’s not Audrey’s luck.

Anika comes out of the kitchen, holding a bowl full of what looks like cookie dough. She’s wearing super small shorts, a tank top that’s cut a little too low, and there’s a spoon sticking out of her mouth. Audrey holds back her smile.

“What’s up?” Anika asks as she takes the spoon out of her mouth. She almost puts it back in the bowl, but Audrey snatches the spoon out of her hand. “Hey! Why did you – ”

Audrey’s about to tell her that Pete’s coming up in like five minutes, he’s just parking, when the door opens and Pete steps in.

Anika’s eyes go wide and she squeaks. She grabs Audrey’s wrist and yanks her into the kitchen. “What the hell is happening?”

“We got into a fight and he looked so sad, Anika,” Audrey mutters. She’s honestly embarrassed that this whole thing is even happening.

“So, you invite him over? What the fuck is going on up there?” Anika says, grabbing the spoon out of Audrey’s hand, and smacking her in the head with it.

“Hey!” Audrey yells and reaches for the spoon so she can smack Anika back, but Anika’s holding it up above her head now. “You’re such a child.”

“At least I didn’t invite my ex-boyfriend over,” Anika says.

“Shut up.”

“Whatever. I’ll leave you two alone,” Anika says and saunters out of the kitchen. Audrey watches her go, and so does Pete. She smiles and winks at him as she passes by. He grins.

Audrey wants to smother her.

Wait, is that jealousy? Oh, hell no.

Audrey takes a deep breath and counts to ten before letting it out. What the hell is happening to her?

She groans and gets out a glass. If she’s going to get through this night, she sure as hell isn’t going to do it sober. She grabs the bottle of wine and pours herself a glass.

She’s halfway through it when Pete slowly comes into the kitchen. “Hey,” he says.

She gulps down the rest of her wine and smiles sheepishly. Wow, classy.

“What’re you drinking?” Pete asks, coming over to stand by her. It’s not too close, but Audrey feels it’s close enough.

Audrey picks up the bottle and reads the label. A to Z Pinot Gris. “Some white wine, nothing fancy. Anika got it for me.”

Pete nods.

“You want a glass?” she asks after a minute.

“Sure,” he says.

Audrey nods and gets down another glass for him. She pours him some slowly, then pours herself some more. She hands him his glass and he takes it, nodding thanks.

This is incredibly awkward. Audrey wants to kick him out. She never should’ve invited him over in the first place.

“So,” she starts. “How’ve you been?” She winces at how utterly stupid she sounds.

“Uh. Fine, I guess,” Pete answers, not looking at her. He swirls the wine in his glass slowly. He sips some, then looks at her. “You?”

“Same,” she says. She downs her drink in one go.

She doesn’t know what to say. And, really, what is there to say? Nothing.

“You’ve, uh, you’ve got a nice place,” Pete says. Audrey glances at him and he’s staring around the apartment. He can’t possibly think this place is nice. It’s a dump – small, cramped, and dirty. It’s probably the size of his living room.

“It’s a mess,” Audrey says.

Pete shrugs. “Yeah, well.”

Audrey shoots him a look, to which he just smiles at. She finds herself grinning back at him. It’s infuriating. She wants to be mad at him, or something. She knows that she’s not supposed to be falling for him again. She can’t.

But there’s just something about Pete that she can’t resist. He has had this spell over her ever since they met. He was an obnoxious pain in the ass – still is, she thinks – yet she couldn’t (still can’t) ignore the twinge she felt in her heart whenever she looked at him; couldn’t (nope, still can’t) stop the smile from spreading across her face when he would flash her that infamous grin of his; couldn’t (seriously, still can’t, it’s ridiculous and she wants to punch herself) stop herself from thinking of him every chance she got.

Audrey fills her glass up again, and she can feel Pete’s eyes on her. “Can I help you?” she mutters before taking a sip.

“Didn’t say anything,” he says.

She looks over at him, and he’s leaning against the counter. He’s holding his wine glass to his lips as he scrolls through his phone. He’s not looking at her anymore.

Audrey takes the opportunity to just look at him. Try to see how much he’d change.

Not much has changed. He looks a bit older, but that’s really it. When he smiles, the crinkles around his eyes are so much deeper, but that’s just a sign he’s had a good life. He’s had plenty of good times, and it makes her heart swell to even think about.

She wonders about how his life’s been. Wonders about all the stories he has from all over the country, all over the world. Stories about friends and strangers alike. Stories about heartbreak and love.

She wonders how many strangers know their story.

Knowing him, he’s definitely written about it. It’s all probably scratched out on diner napkins and hotel stationary, tucked in old suitcases and stuffed in hoodie pockets; logged somewhere online (she knows about his “secret” blogs) collecting dust.

“What’re you thinking about?” Pete asks softly.

Audrey blinks, once, twice, and shakes her head. “Nothing.”

“You were definitely thinking about something,” he says, and he’s got a sly smile. Like he just knows she was thinking about him.

Audrey rolls her eyes. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he says, the sly smile now turned full-blown shit-eating grin. Audrey wants to smack it off his face.

“Shut up,” she mutters and drinks her wine.

He laughs, and it’s the best sound she’s heard all night. She licks her lips to try to hide the smile that is trying so hard to stretch across her face.

“So, can I ask you something?”

Audrey hums.

“Why’d you invite me over?” he asks.

Audrey sets down her glass and leans against the counter. She folds her arms across her chest. She doesn’t know why she invited him over. It just seemed like the right thing to do after acting like such a bitch at the restaurant.

But, truthfully, she wasn’t doing any better here.

“I dunno,” she says lamely. “I just did.”

“So, should I just…go?” Pete asks, staring down at his shoes. He feels so uncomfortable. And she feels so bad she made him feel like that.

God dammit. She’s being a bitch, and she doesn’t want that. She’s gotta change.

“Did you wanna, I dunno, talk…or something?”

That catches his attention. He looks up at her. His eyes are so heavy, so sad, she thinks, yet filled with so much hope. It’s such a weird mix, but it’s him.

It’s Pete. Hopelessly hopeful.

Audrey smiles weakly. “Come on,” she says, touching his arm ever so slightly. She heads out of the kitchen and to her room. Pete follows a few steps behind, silent.

Audrey shuts the door behind them. “You can, uh. Sit, if you want,” she says, motioning to the bed. Pete takes a seat on the end of her bed. She goes and takes a seat a comfortable enough distance away from him at the top of her bed. “So.”

“So,” he repeats as he looks around her room. It’s nothing special, just like the rest of the apartment, it’s small, cramped, and dirty. He kicks off his shoes before crossing his legs on the bed. Now he’s looking at her. “Hi.”

“Hey,” she says, a small smile gracing her face.

Pete’s smile matches her own. “You up for talking about us?”

Audrey’s smile falters a bit. She’s not, but she’ll do it for him. “Why not. That’s why we’re here in the first place, right?”

“Right.” He nods. He swings his legs, back and forth and back and forth, like a child, Audrey thinks. It’s adorable.

She pulls one knee up and rests her chin on it as she watches him. He’s so handsome. The past, what, ten years - yeah, they’ve been good to him.

“Did you think we were good together?” he asks, looking up at her.

She sighs, closing her eyes. She remembers how often they fought. How could she ever think that was good? How could he?

“Not particularly,” she answers.

He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “I guess we did fight a lot.”

“It was almost every day, Pete,” Audrey says. He can’t seriously think that they had a healthy relationship. In what world was that healthy?

“Towards the end, yeah.” He shrugs. Audrey stops herself from rolling her eyes. “But in the beginning, it wasn’t that bad.”

“I hated you in the beginning,” Audrey says as she recalls the first couple of times they met. He was such a cocky asshole, she remembers dreading going to that class because he was there.

“But you still said yes to the movie,” he points out, a slight smirk on his face. Still cocky.

”Hey, Audrey! Wait up!”

She sighed, knowing full well who was calling her. It was that guy from her 8AM. His name was Pete. Or something like that.

She turned around. “What is it now?”

“Um, so like.” He paused and took a deep breath. Audrey quirked an eyebrow up at him. “Do you, I dunno, maybe wanna catch a movie with me tonight? Or somethin', I dunno.”

Audrey stood there, shocked. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but it wasn’t that. She was flattered, almost, and she felt her cheeks burn a bit.

“Oh,” she said after a moment. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she looked down at her feet. She didn’t really like this guy, right? So the answer should’ve been an easy no. Except.

Except she found herself thinking about this boy more and more every day. He’d linger on her mind long after class had ended. She had always just chalked it up to fuming hatred for his loud mouth and cocky grin.

But now, with him asking her out, her mind went into overdrive and decided that no, no, it wasn’t fuming hatred, it was a budding crush on this insufferable, yet adorable, idiot.

“Audrey?” he asked, waving a hand in front of her face.

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at him. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared into his beautiful hazel eyes. Well, damn.

“Yeah, okay,” she breathed out. “Yeah.”

The smile that spread across Pete’s face was infectious, and Audrey found herself smiling just as wide as him.

“Okay, cool. Um, you live in the Towers, right?” he asked. Audrey nodded. “Okay, I’ll pick you up at eight.”

“Okay.”

“See you later,” he said with a wink and walked off. Audrey watched him go, clutching her book tightly to her chest. She felt like she was just back in high school.

“Oh, no.”

“I guess so,” Audrey says. She figures that that would be the first time she really acknowledged her feelings for him. “That was, like, the honeymoon phase.”

Pete laughs. “Yeah. It was pretty brief, but fuck, it was amazing.”

Audrey smiles. It was nice. Their entire relationship lasted nine months. It wasn’t very long at all. The honeymoon phase was the shortest part. It only lasted two months.

But, Pete was right, during that time, it was pretty great. They spent all their time together. They were practically joined at the hip. Audrey wouldn’t go anywhere without Pete. And vice versa.

She wonders, though, where the hell they went wrong.

Then she remembers.

Pete dropped out of school to focus on music, and Audrey hated it. He started spending more and more time with his band than he did her, and it killed her. She just wanted her Pete back.

“Key word being was,” she says softly.

“You don’t think we can’t get that back?” he asks.

Audrey snorts. As much as she would like to give it another try, she knows that’s not a good idea. Relationships should never be tried a second time. There’s a reason they didn’t work out in the first place.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Pete.”

He sighs. It’s clearly not the answer he was looking for. Audrey feels bad, she does, but she just. She can’t go back. The past is the past and she won’t be dragged back. She only wants to move forward.

“I’m sorry, Pete.”

He smiles, though. “It’s okay, I guess.”

They’re quiet, then, just left to their own thoughts.

Audrey picks at her comforter. Her heart is saying go ahead and give it another shot, but her head is telling her no, don't you dare. She’s going to listen to her head this time. She’s been hurt enough just listening to her heart.

“Can we be friends, though?” Pete asks all of a sudden.

Audrey smiles. It's such a simple thing. She's delighted by it.

“Yeah, Pete. I think so.”



“So, did you and Pete, you know, do it?” Anika asks, watching as Audrey gets ready for work.

Audrey stares at Anika in the mirror. “What the hell is wrong with you.”

Anika laughs. “Oh, come on! He didn’t leave until, like, midnight. Did you guys do it? I won’t judge if you did.”

Audrey rolls her eyes and goes back to applying her mascara. Anika is still standing behind her, leaning against the doorframe with her arms folded across her chest. She’s clearly not leaving until Audrey gives her an answer.

Audrey sighs and turns around. “No, we did not do it.”

“I don’t buy it. You’re too happy right now. You had to have gotten laid,” Anika says.

“You’re a pain in my ass,” Audrey mutters. “Seriously. We talked.”

“About what?” Anika asks, following Audrey from the bathroom to her bedroom. She takes a seat on Audrey’s bed and watches as she goes through her closet.

“Everything,” Audrey replies simply. And it’s the truth, too. They did talk about everything. Everything ranging from their past, to what they’ve been up to since they split, to right now. They talked about current affairs and politics, and Pete still had that spark in him. The one that Audrey loved so dearly back when they were dating.

It was really, really nice. She didn’t realize just how much she missed him.

“Aw, you like him!” Anika says, a wide grin stretched across her face. Audrey tosses a shoe from the closet at her and she dodges it, laughing. “Don’t deny it! You still have a thing for the king of emo.”

“You didn’t just call him that.” Audrey giggles.

“I did.” Anika nods. “But, seriously, you still like him. That’s so sweet.”

Audrey turns back to her closet to hide the growing grin and the blush spreading across her cheeks. “We agreed to be friends, nothing more. I don’t really want to go back.”

“What? Why not?” Anika asks, and she sounds so serious, not like the cute, fun, teasing tone before. It makes Audrey turn around.

Anika pats the spot next to her on the bed.

“I dunno, ‘Nika.” Audrey goes over and sits, resting her head on Anika’s shoulder. It’s time to vent. “I figured it’s all in the past for a reason, right? Like, why give it a second go, when we already went through it once?” she says softly.

“That is very true,” Anika says. “But – ”

“There’s always a but.”

“Hush,” Anika laughs, hitting her gently on the side of the head. Audrey laughs. “As I was saying, but, if you’ve got these feelings, why not go for it? You already know what it’s like. Why not try to fix it?”

“Because I don’t want to lose him again,” Audrey says without skipping a beat.