Hold Your Breath

The wind was cold, very uncharacteristic for Texas in the middle of summer. I sighed into my hands as the wind continued to play with my hair and I shivered. Nothing was making sense anymore. I didn't know what to do and all that I was capable of at the moment was breaking down and cry. It would be so easy to jump, I told myself eyeing the city below me. Thirteen stories high off the ground, it would be quick and painless. What have I become? Am I really that pathetic to resort to suicide as a way out? I'm so stupid.

"Nice night out," a voice said quietly from behind me.

The footfalls of the intruding voice started to make my way towards me. A body plopped itself beside me and put its arm around my shoulder. I turned to look at my friend.

"Hey Derr Bear," I said as I leaned my head against his shoulder.

We say like that for a while, in complete silence, just taking in the cityscape around us. I was too tired to think about all the problems I had just plunged head first into. After awhile, Derrick spoke.

"What a night, eh?" Derrick said with a smile in his voice.

I shrugged knowing that if I answered that verbally there was a great possibility that I would cry. I didn't need tears right now. Tears were useless to me.

"I guess you don't really want to talk about it right now," Derrick said quietly, "Then I'll do the talking for you until you feel ready enough to answer."

I looked at Derrick glumly and he just smiled at me. What a great guy, it was too bad that he was still so scarred from his ex-girlfriend. He could have had a lot of potential for the next girl if he was willing to let his past go.

"So you told Mike, in front of a few witnesses, that it was over. I wasn't there so just correct if I'm wrong. Now, that could mean one of two things. One, 'we're over' could mean that your relationship is on a hiatus. Or, two, 'we're over' means that it is in fact over, in which the wedding is never going to occur and Mike will probably never hear or see from you and his child again."

A silent tear rolled down my face and Derrick caught it with his thumb.

"The also aforementioned witnesses saw Ryan standing at your hotel room's door when this incident occur and everyone there saw that he was obviously shell shocked at what was happening because it meant one of two things. One, now that you and Mike are 'over' he could then break up with Sandy, whom he despises, and begin to court you again. Or, two, he had just ruined his chances with you because he was what led to the downfall of what everyone precieved as a happy and great relationship you had with Mike."

I looked away from Derrick and forced myself to stare off in the distance.

"Also, now that we know that Ryan's 'marriage' to Sandy was false,"

I looked at Derrick in shock.

"We now know that Sandy will no longer be accompanying us on tour. At least, that's what I assume. I don't know if Ryan has talked to her just yet. Anyways, in conclusion, this leaves you with two choices. One, you take Mike back because the whole situation was just a large misunderstanding. Or two, you take Ryan back, despite having Mike's child and Mike's unending love, because secretly, you are and always have been in love with him."

Derrick took in my surprised expression and gave me a knowing smile, "We all know you and Ryan have feelings for each other. It's so obvious Vic. I know Mike even knows it. That's why he was so devastated when you told him you two were over," he paused to let his words sink in, "So what's your choice? Option one or option two?"

I looked out back into the night sky, "You're forgetting option three."