Hearts & Spades

"Goodnight Bethany." Jack exhaled, his voice sounded almost dreamlike in the eerie silence. Everything had been going perfectly for Alex but in one breath, it was ruined. His eyes soon shot open, searching over the elders expression - this had to be some kind of sick joke. But no, all he found was a small blissful smile on his lips. Though that disappeared when he forcefully placed both his hands on his bare chest and shoved him away. The raven haired boy was dazed and confused as he caught his balance on his elbow, however, he didn't have much time to rethink the situation before a small palm slammed against his cheek with a loud smack.

"Bethany?!" Alex spat, ignoring the look of absolute shock the other wore as he raised his hand to the now bright red print on his face. Eventually Jack's mind was able to put all the pieces together though by the time guilt filled his gut it was far too late, the younger had already slipped out of the bed and was pulling a t-shirt over his head - perhaps this was a bad time for him to speak up and tell him that it wasn't his.

"Alex..." he called out softly, scooting to the edge of the bed helplessly as he watched the teen frantically search for his shoes. Jack knew his old pair of beat up converses were by his front door, but he didn't dare open his mouth. One because he didn't want the boy to leave and two, because he felt as if he said much more he'd end up with his eyes gouged out.

At the sound of his name the brunette turned to the source, his face scrunched up as if he was trying to prevent a wave of tears from overcoming him. Jack's heart broke at the sight, had he really managed to hurt him so severely by one little slip of the tongue?

"No, fuck you!" he shouted, the seventeen year old was actually surprised there could be so much pent-up anger in such a small body.

"Come on now, that's a little harsh, don't you think?" he asked calmly, raising one brow as he stood.

"I don't care! I'm g-going home!" Alex's voice cracked as he made his way to the door, but not before Jack could see the tears streaming down his red face. He was... crying?

"Lex, wait..." he attempted, only to be ignored. So he restored to reaching out and grabbing his wrist, tugging him back and forcing Alex to look at him.

"Let me go, you bastard!" it didn't even sound right to hear such foul things coming out of his mouth. Alex may own the swear jar a few quarters, but he was never spiteful. To be honest, it scared Jack quite a bit, to know that he was the cause of this outburst.

As he pulled him closer Alex began to punch roughly at his chest with his free hand, wiggling and trying his best to escape his grip but to no avail. Jack was on the football team after all and Alex was nothing more than a small little sick boy, of course he stood no chance against him. "Would you just listen to me for a minute..."

"P-please, I just want to go home." Alex whimpered, giving up the fight. And that was when Jack realized why he was trying to run away so quickly. He was having an anxiety attack, he'd seen a girl in his class have one of those before. Alex must have been embarrassed and wanted to get out of view before he was in a full out panic. But now they were in the midst of the shit storm, the tears were streaming down his face and falling onto his shirt - or rather Jack's shirt. He was hyperventilating, with his eyes squeezed shut, his words quickly becoming inaudible.

Just as the older of the two was about to try and soothe him the boy became a near dead weight, thankfully he was able to grab him before he collapsed to the floor. "Shh, Lex, you need to calm down." he said softly, completely unsure of how he should handle the situation. He slowly backed Alex up until his knees hit the back of the bed and he fell onto the mattress. Jack felt pathetic as he sat there watching his friend curl into himself, his small body quivering in short violent spasms.
All he could do was stay put and wait, wait for Alex to pull himself together alone because Jack couldn't think of how to help. At one point he lifted the feeble boy's head and set it in his lap, gently running his hands through his hair. This was all his fault wasn't it? He had ruined them.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed, Jack's thigh was covered in a puddle of tears but he barely paid that any mind. Instead, his heartbeat began to pick up when Alex finally pushed himself up into a sitting position with his shaking arms. "I'm... sorry." he sobbed, voice soft and childlike.

"No, no, it's okay, why are you crying?" Jack asked, cupping his face and running his thumbs over his cheeks as Alex collected himself. Soon enough his chest was rising and falling in a normal pattern.

His small shoulders shrugged as he avoided meeting those almond eyes, his anxiety caused him to make such a huge scene over the simplest things. Alex had really hoped he'd never scare his companion off by having a panic attack in his presence, so much for that. "I just really... like you."

Jack offered a confused frown, tilting the other's face up so he'd at least look at him. "I really like you too, Alex."

That's when the anger came back, Alex jerked away from his touch and clenched his fists together. "No! You're a liar!"

There was no talking sense into him when he was acting like this, Jack learned that rather quickly and would prefer if he didn't get hit again. So instead of using his words he grabbed Alex's shoulders and forced their lips together. The brunette grunted in protest, stubby nails clawing at the other's back, but all attempts to pry away were pointless.

"Now, will you shut up?" Jack questioned with a slight hint of a smile lingering on his features.

Alex's bottom lip poked out in a pout, his arms folding together. "I don't know, did you want to kiss me or Bethany?"

The dark haired boy's face fell for a moment, of course he wished his former girlfriend was still alive but she wasn't. However, the person sitting across from him was and he couldn't deny that there was something about Alex. Something that made him look past absolutely everything he thought he knew about himself, he couldn't just repress that, that'd end up hurting them both. So he leaned forward and pressed another chaste kiss on his lips. "Does that answer your question?



When Alex began to stir he wanted nothing more than to snuggle closer into the warmth the enveloped him and fall back asleep. So that was exactly what he did, his small arms tugged the form next to him closer and he tucked his face between their shoulder and chin. However, as comfortable as he was, sleep didn't find him again. With a yawn the brunette allowed his eyes to flutter open, the first thing he saw was Jack looking down at him with a small smile on his lips. "Mmm, morning, Jack."

"Good morning, sunshine." he responded with a half hearted chuckle, watching as his companion rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Once doing so his expression changed completely.

"Hold on a second, I'm mad at you!" Alex announced, unraveling their bodies and frowning stubbornly down at the other. He was going to get away with his actions that easily, for whatever reason his little slip up had hurt Alex a great deal.

"No, you're not." Jack reassured, raising a hand to run it through the younger's hair, only to be pushed away.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Noo, we kissed and made up remember? Quite literally." he teased, causing Alex's gaze to fall in order to hide the blush on his cheeks.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that..." Alex said, followed by a nervous giggle. Maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to forgive Jack, especially since he couldn't be one hundred percent sure about his intentions. But he couldn't deny he liked kissing, and the raven haired boy did it quite nicely.

As he settled down next to the elder once more he couldn't help but notice that he looked a bit distracted, to say the least. His eyes were staring up at the ceiling, teeth tugging mindlessly at his bottom lip. When Alex rested his head back against his chest, his arm wrapped instinctively around his waist, but that was the only movement he made.

"Hey... Jack? Are you okay?" he asked quietly, tracing shapes on his bare chest with his fingers. Alex was never one to be a fan of sickening romance, but he felt as if their bodies slotted together like two puzzle pieces. Though, it wasn't as enjoyable when your cuddling partner didn't seem to be all there.

"Huh? Yeah... just thinking is all." Jack replied, still not looking in his direction. His hand found its way back to Alex's hair and his fingers twirled the short choppy strands, yet he still seemed to be lost in his own mind.

"Oh..." Alex muttered, gnawing on the inside of his cheek anxiously. Maybe this whole kissing and snuggling thing they were trying to get away with was putting their friendship in danger? He didn't have many friends, he'd hate to lose Jack over some stupid little crush that probably wasn't even recuperated. "About what? If you don't mind me asking?"

"About you... about us I guess."

"You didn't mean to kiss me, did you?" he sighed, admittedly he probably should have known that. Jack was just lonely and broken, cold and a fire was a fire.

"No, I mean yes. It's just..." Jack attempted to explain, but even he couldn't make any sense of his thoughts how could he expect someone else to? "We're both boys you know?"

"Yes..." Alex retorted skeptically, raising one eyebrow as he felt the anger bubbling inside of him. Was he really going to start being homophobic now?

"Hear me out, Lex." The elder began, glancing down at the boy still in his arms. He hadn't attempted to escape yet so that at least had to be a good sign. "Don't think for one second, I don't like you. Because I do. You're cute, and funny, and the most innocent little thing..."

"Just get to the point already." he interrupted, face glowing red once more as he awaited what was more than likely going to be a let down. He wasn't going to get his hopes up this time around.

"This is all so new to me. I still miss Bethany, of course..." the minute those words left his mouth Alex frowned, that much was obvious but he still couldn't help but be jealous. "And I wouldn't exactly say you were my type... but I can't just ignore the fact that I wouldn't mind kissing you again..."

"What are you trying to say?" Alex questioned bashfully, watching as Jack seemed to search desperately for his next words. However, he wasn't the only one confused and filled with conflicted feelings... maybe it would be best if the two of them just went back to being friends and pretending this never happened.

"Go on a date with me."