Hearts & Spades

That old coffee shop still smelled the same, it was filled with the same smiling faces and the same sound of relaxing whispers. Yet for Jack, it couldn't be any different. Sitting across from him was not the usual talkative brunette. Instead, there was a frail timid boy whose caramel eyes were focused on the steaming mug of hot chocolate before him. The elder, however, had ordered Bethany's favorite coffee, for some reason it was comforting. Jack should really stop doing things that reminded him of her, at this rate he'd never recover. But every time he attempted to erase her name from his mind it found a way back. Whenever the pain stopped even for a second, it would come back ten times worse.

Take just a few moments ago, for example. He had walked into the cozy little shop with his new companion in tow. The minute he reached the cashier, a blonde haired girl with a crooked smile, she asked the question he had been silently praying he wouldn't hear. She had questioned the location of the slender girl who was usually wrapped around his arm. Jack had visually flinched. Just as Alex had opened his mouth to answer for him, he cut him off and blankly told the girl that Bethany had passed away. Then the employee simply apologized for his lost and took their orders without another word.

Though the tense atmosphere didn't last long. The smaller of the two had asked how much the drink would cost and Jack simply shook his head informing him that he was going to be paying. Of course that came with a little protest. Every time he had offered to pay for his girlfriend's coffee when they visited this very shop she would cause a scene too. But instead of arguing and stomping his foot Alex just took out a few bills from his back pocket. That tactic would prove worthless when the cashier returned and the raven haired boy paid before the other had a chance to. As a result Alex's eyebrows knitted together stubbornly and he crossed his arms across his chest, but Jack saw his small smile and mirrored it without any thought.

"I can see why this place was her favorite." Alex began, pulling the other out of his thoughts and back into reality, which was honestly the last place he wanted to be right now.

"Yeah..." was only the response he could manage. It wasn't that he didn't like this new boy, it was just that he couldn't exactly wrap his mind around the fact that he was carrying a piece of Bethany, that a part of her was still very much here.

"So... uh, why don't you tell me a bit about her?" he continued awkwardly, pulling his hands back into his lap so he could watch his fingers nervously pick at the sleeves of his hoodie.

Jack took another sip of the bitter liquid, which he couldn't understand how Bethany loved it so much, before answering. "I wouldn't even know where to start..."

"Maybe you can tell me your favorite memory of her or something..." Alex suggested, shrugging his heavy shoulders. "I'd feel like a thief if I didn't even bother to get to know my donor."

Alex may not have known Bethany but Jack could tell that he was determined and this meant quite a lot to him. And there wasn't a person in the world who knew more about that girl than he did, the least he could do was to help this kid find some peace. Besides, talking to him about her made it all hurt a little less.

"I guess I can tell you about the last time I saw her alive..."



"Jack, I swear to god if you jump out and scare me, I will pee on everything you love." called out a young seventeen year old girl as she tiptoed into her kitchen. Her eyes scanned over the empty room, but still found no sign of the person she was searching for.

"Can girls even do that?" came a voice from behind her, causing her to jump and scream before cupping her hand over her mouth.

"Yes, they can. And you've been warned, asshole." Bethany pouted once she regained her composure. She spun around on her heels and punched the boy's shoulder with all the strength she could muster. Which was actually quite a lot and made a lanky Jack Barakat whimper and run his hand over the forming bruise.

"Then have fun pissing on yourself." he said cheekily as his hands found their way to her hips, pulling her in for a kiss, but she turned her head so his lips pressed against her cheek instead.

"I hate you." the brunette mumbled as she wiggled out of his grip and made her way to the living room, Jack was of course following right behind her.

"Bethany Lynn Newcomb." the elder said in a playful tone, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to his girlfriend who was obviously beginning to give him the silent treatment.

And she was silent for a few more moments before asking a seemingly random and absurd question. "Do you hate me?" she began hesitantly.

"Baby, what kind of question is that?" Jack questioned, actually starting to panic because she would ever think such a thing.

"It's just I've been having this really weird feeling lately..." Bethany said with a sigh, letting her head fall to the side and rest on his shoulder, he instinctively wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "Like...like something bad is going to happen. And I don't know. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."

"Bethany, look at me." Jack insisted, only to get a shake of the head in response. He let out a breath, reaching over to tuck her messy hair behind her ear before trying again. "Pleaseee"

Eventually his begging and puppy dog eyes broke down her resistance and she let out another deep breath before giving in. "What?"

"I love you." he retorted, gaining an eye roll in return. "I love you so fucking much, and I swear I'm never going anywhere. I'm...I'm going to marry you one day."

"Jack, stop." Bethany protested, pressing against his chest in another attempt to escape. But this time he wasn't about to let her go. She needed to see how much she meant to him, how his whole world seemed to revolve around her.

"No, I am serious. You just...you have to understand because I'm terrible with words and I don't think there is a thing in the world to compare this to." he wished that he could string together a sentence that would put tears in her eyes. If only he could piece together a speech and make her see herself the way he did...

"So, you really want me to be Mrs. Bethany Barakat, huh?" she asked with a weak smirk forming on her lips that Jack automatically returned.

"'Till death do us part."



Jack ended his story short. Mostly because his throat felt like it was closing in on itself. And the boy on the other side of the table didn't say a word. He frowned as he watched the older man's face crumple, clearly losing the battle against his tears. "Fuck." was the last thing he uttered before he fell completely apart, face dropping into his hands. And all Alex could do was watch helplessly.

"Jack..." he attempted, shifting under the feeling of a dozen pairs of eyes being focused in their direction. Of course he received no response, his friend was probably far too busy trying not to scream and shout at the world for being so unfair. For taking away his sunshine and leaving him with nothing but darkness. But soon the sight became too much for Alex and he pushed himself to his feet only to slide into the booth with Jack. He ran his hand up and down his back in an awkward and desperate attempt to comfort him. The younger knew he couldn't do anything to fix this, but he couldn't just sit back and watch.

"I miss her... I miss her s-so fucking much." Jack stuttered, his whole body shivering as his stomach twisted in knots. He hadn't eaten in days but he felt as if those two sips of disgusting coffee he had nervously gulped down were going to come back to haunt him.

"Shh, I know. It's okay." Alex knew that was a lie, how could things ever be okay again? He still didn't know much about Bethany but he could tell by the way Jack talked about her that he loved her - there was a certain gleam in his eyes and a small smile stayed planted on his lips before reality hit him. And she must have loved him too. If he was ever going to repay his debt to that girl he could start by protecting the boy who meant the world to her. The seventeen year old was rather broken himself, but he'd do everything in his power to put Jack back together.

Alex pulled the elder down so his head could rest on his chest, a rather strange looking position due to their size difference but a comfortable one none the less. It was strange how sorrow seemed to bring the two together so quickly. He ran his hands through the mess of the others raven hair and rocked gently back and forth. The sound of the busy coffee shop had appeared to die down as all eyes were on them, but right now Jack couldn't care less. Because at the moment, in the silence, he could hear the sound of the gentle beating of a heart. Then he decided maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright after all.