Hearts & Spades

"Again, I'm really sorry for what happened back there..." Jack apologized, his voice still hoarse from the tears he shed moments before. Or maybe he was just losing his voice due to repeating himself. Sorry was a word the two used far too often.

"Jack, it's okay seriously. You don't have to be ashamed for mourning." Alex reassured. His arms were swinging rhythmically at his sides as they followed a sidewalk trail to god knows where. They hadn't been walking long, but it seemed like they were never going to stop. If only the elder would tell him where he was dragging him this time... Though that was a lost cause. Every time he asked Jack would forge a smile and tell him it was a surprise. Hopefully this wouldn't be the part where the guy he met just yesterday decided to slaughter him in some back alley and dump his body in a garbage bin. That'd be a terrible end to an already awkward day.

"But did you see all those people staring at me, god it was so embarrassing!" he retorted, throwing his arms in the air in defeat. His gaze fell onto the boy in stride next to him, his eyes still puffy and cheeks a bright pink. Alex didn't know if that was from crying or if he was actually blushing. Whatever it was, it seemed to be enough to push him over the edge.

"You know what? Fuck them! What the hell do they know anyway." the younger shouted, causing Jack to stop dead in his track. Mostly out of surprise, of course. He may have only met the caramel eyed boy a few hours ago, but he seemed to be nothing but soft spoken and kind. So it was fair to say this was rather out of character. After things remained silent and still for a moment or two, realization washed over Alex and his cheeks too turned warm. He was afraid his behavior may have startled Jack, but one look at the small grin on his face and it was obvious he was nothing less than grateful.

The pair continued their journey in silence. That was until Alex grew restless again and decided to pop the question once more. "Are you ever going to tell me where we're going?"

"Why don't you look for yourself?" Jack suggested, this time looking smug rather than depressed. Just as the other opened his mouth to argue a large sign that read 'Federal Hill Park' caught his attention And the sight caused a smile to spread across his face.

"Oh man, I haven't been here since I was a kid!" he cheered bouncing slightly on his toes and in return causing his friend to chuckle. It had seemed like years since Alex really got out of the house, and now that he thought about it, it probably had been years.

"Speaking of you, you really haven't told me anything about yourself." the raven haired teen pointed out as he lead them into the park. Alex seemed to be a bit star struck for a second after that, why did Jack care to hear about him? Maybe he was just being friendly, he probably needed as many people as possible to keep his mind off the reality of what he was going through.

"Well, my full name is Alexander William Gaskarth..."

He really didn't get to say much before Jack was interrupting him. In the short time they'd spent together, he'd discovered he was rather good at cutting people off to add his own comment. "That's a pretty posh name you got there, Alexander. Where are you from anyway?"

The shorter boy's face turned bright pink for the second time that day before he cleared his throat and pieced together an answer. "I moved to Baltimore from Essex a year or two before my diagnosis..." Alex knew that was the information that Jack was interested in when he suggested he talked about himself. He just didn't want to outright ask why the boy needed his girlfriend's heart. "I have cardiomyopathy...or at least I did." when he paused to look at the reaction that received he only got a look of sympathy and a small nod. To be honest, he hated that look, he knew it far too well. But he understood Jack was sincere, or at least he had a weird feeling he was.

"That's like when your heart can't pump as well as it should. It causes you to be really short of breath and stuff so I didn't exactly have a normal childhood. My mom was just really paranoid something would happen to me, you know?" another paused and another nod from Jack. Then Alex took a deep breath and continued, it wasn't often he talked about his illness. Mostly because he didn't have any friends, but also because many people didn't want to hear a sad story. "Though I guess she had a right to be worried. Most people with cardiomyopathy die of heart failure rather early on. And it was pretty obvious from my condition about a month ago that I didn't have much time left myself..."

All this time Jack was being so fucking selfish. He thought whoever got Bethany's heart didn't deserve it, that it wasn't fair that their prayers were answered and his weren't. But now that he met Alex he felt more at peace, his and his family's suffering was over now and it was all thanks to her. Bethany was a strong believer of the fact that everything happens for a reason. The girl had everything going for her, yet it was all gone in an instant. So could there have possibly been a reason her life was lost in order to save Alex's?

The tense atmosphere around them never seemed to last long. Jack made sure of that. As he glanced up, he discovered they had finally reached their actual destination. "We're here."

Alex had been lost in his own thoughts, reconsidering if sharing that information with a person he hardly knew was a good idea or not. But regardless a small grin appeared on his features when he heard the other's voice, seemingly sounding carefree despite the things he had just told him. "I thought we've been here...what are you t-" he cut himself short when his gaze fell onto Jack's hand which was gently running over a carving in the tree. Upon closer inspection, he saw that the wood had been scratched away to read "J + B" encased in a messy heart. It was like something out of a movie.

"Beth said it was super cheesy, she actually kinda hated that I did this. She said I was 'defacing public property'." a sad smile lingered on Jack's face as he recalled the day he dragged his girlfriend out to this very park, his hands over her eyes before the big reveal. The reaction wasn't what he was hoping for but he got a kiss on the cheek for his effort anyway.

"That is pretty cliche." Alex commented after plopping down on the ground underneath the large oak, the older of the two soon following his example. He may have had a new heart, but he still wasn't used to all this movement. Jack faked a look of offense at his response and gently nudged his shoulder.

"What? Have you never had a girlfriend before?" he asked. It was a playful and innocent question, but it made Alex's expression change to one of embarrassment rather quickly.

"Uh, I dated Sara Hartford in the fourth grade, does that count?" he questioned, pulling on the sleeves of his hoodie once more.

"That depends, did you kiss her?"

"No. But I did share my peanut butter sandwich with her."

"Well, that is pretty romantic, I have to admit I would have been swooning."

"She wasn't. Turns out she was allergic peanuts."

Just then the two teens spread out in the green grass burst out into laughter for the first time that either of them could remember. They giggled until they ran out of breath, then Alex snorted and they started their fit of laughter all over again. Passing couples and children sent them odd stares, but their eyes were filled with tears, happy ones for a change, so they didn't even notice.

"So you're telling me you haven't dated since then? Not even a boyfriend?" Jack asked, wiping the tears from under his eyes as he regained his composure.

"So, you're calling me gay now?" he accused through a small smirk. Alex probably would have actually been offended if it wasn't obviously a light hearted question.

"Your jeans are pretty tight..."

"Like you should be talking, it took you like two minutes to sit down. I thought your jeans were going to rip in half." Alex teased causing them both to break into laughter again. "But really, I'm pansexual."

"Alex, I know we're getting to know each other and all but I really don't want to hear about your fetish for kitchen supplies." Jack replied, an eyebrow raised in confusion. At first the younger thought he was trying to be funny, but one more look at his face and it was clear he was honestly confused.

"No, silly. Pansexual is when you have an emotional attraction towards someone despite gender. Like, 'hey you're pretty cool and I think kissing you would be pretty cool too, I don't really care about your downstairs mix up because that doesn't affect you as a person'."

Now Jack could go and add a comment about how weird that was, and to be honest, he was feeling a bit different towards Alex now that he knew that little fact about him. But much like he had said, his sexuality didn't change him as a person and Jack quite liked him as a person. So he grinned in approval before a small raindrop fell onto the tip of his nose and grabbed his attention. "Damn Baltimore weather. I better get you home."

"Why? Because of a little rain?" Alex protested, his bottom lip puckering out in a pout. He was finally having fun, some real fun. And it was all because of his new found friend. He really didn't want to part ways now. Judging by the way Jack mimicked his expression, he must have felt the same.

"You might get pneumonia if we stay out here, and we don't want that." he argued, pushing himself to his feet then helping the smaller boy up as well. Alex's arm automatically went to cross against his chest once he was standing. "Come on now, grumpy, I'm just looking out for you."

He was never one to like it when people were 'just looking out' from him, considering he had been sheltered from all things good and bad for most of his life. However the drizzle was picking up now and he had to admit that he was a bit concerned about what he might catch with a low immune system like his. "Fineee."

As they set off on their trip back to the car - which was still parked in front of the coffee shop, it began to pour. Jack said a few cuss words under his breath before grabbing Alex's wrist and began to run, earning some protest from the other boy who was doing his best to not trip over his own feet. But by the time they were safely in the car they were both giggling like little girls.

"Your hair looks so different..." Alex commented, holding a hand over his face to hide his smile. Jack's once ruffled and messy raven hair was now pushed back, making him appear like a stereotypical greaser from an old movie.

"Oh, shut it Gaskarth. I can't help I'm beautiful." he said before sticking out his tongue at the teen in the passenger seat. Alex just rolled his eyes, simply happy that Jack wasn't acting as sad as he was when they arrived. It felt good to feel like maybe he had a part in making him feel better.

When they arrived back at Alex's house, neither of them were really ready to part ways. Both of them had been through hell and back through the recent weeks and somehow today was so different. Maybe the only people who can help those who are suffering are people who are also suffering. Who could have thought that a tragedy would have such a way of bonding two totally different people so quickly?

"Hey...so, I have a football game this Friday." Jack began, rubbing the back of his neck nervously just as Alex had begun to open his door and get out of the car. "Bethany is usually there cheering me on...her parents will still be there I'm sure, but I was wondering..." he paused to swallow the lump in his throat before continuing. "If maybe you'd come?"

Alex bit his lip, averting his gaze to the floorboard of the car which was hardly visible under all the clutter. Being homeschooled all his life he wasn't really familiar with large social events. And if football games were like anything on television, then he wanted no part in it. "I dunno..."

"Please" the elder begged, giving his best puppy dog eyes as possible. "Who knows, maybe you'll even be my good luck charm."

There was no disagreeing with that face, that was for sure. The more Alex looked at Jack the more he lost the urge to shoot him down. Damn, he was good. "Fine, I'll go to your stupid game."

Jack let a large smile slip before unbuckling his seat belt and reaching over to wrap his arms around the smaller boy's frame. He was still wet from the rain and slightly shivering so even though he was caught a bit off guard the embrace was not unwelcome. "Thank you Alex, for everything. Really."

And those few words were all it took for Alex to feel better about his entire situation than he did the day before. Maybe getting to know his donor's boyfriend wasn't such a bad idea after all.