Sequel: Battling the Loss You Live For. ›
Status: completed; sequel 'Battling the Loss You Live For' is now running.
Smiles Echo In My Memory
New York.
Frank’s Point of View
Two days later, it was the 15th of July, and ridiculously hot. And today Sazzy and I were about to leave for the hour drive. Even though it only took around half an hour to get to New York from Jersey, there was bound to be traffic, so we prepared ourselves for it – mints and gum in stock, a stack of tapes for the stereo, an extra packet of cigarettes for me and extra money for Starbucks.
I was dressed in black shorts, and a Misfits’ shirt, along with a pair of black vans and my black rimmed sunglasses. My hair was gelled in spikes at the back as usual, leaving my fringe straight and resting over my right eye. Sazzy was wearing a yellow vest top, along with purple short shorts and yellow tights. Plain purple dolly shoes adorned her feet, and her hair was wild, backcombed and untamed, pulled over her right shoulder and held in place with a small black hair tie, which was pretty much unnoticeable, with a small yellow handbag slung on her shoulder, bouncing on her hip as she walked.
Like always, I helped her into the car, before walking around and getting into the drivers’ side, buckling my seatbelt. Sazzy already had her belt on, her bag on the floor of the car and her yellow rimmed sunglasses on… very co-coordinated today.
After we both got our caramel coffee frappachino, I drove towards the highway. Sazzy had undone her seatbelt, sitting on the seat cross-legged, fiddling with the tape player. She put on the Green Day album, ‘Dookie’.
Halfway through our drive, we were ridiculously bored, so we started throwing random questions about each other.
“What school did you go to before you came to England?” she asked, smiling over at me. Her legs were tucked under her, her hair wild and curly and over one shoulder, our hands laced together at the gear stick.
“It was called Queen of Peace. It was a Catholic school…” I answered, my eyes darting from her and the road, and back again.
“How many sisters do you actually have? I’ve lost count,” I said, smiling. She smiled back, brushing her dark fringe out of her eyes.
“I have four. Shine, Shan, Zahra, and Ani. Shan ran away, though. I don’t consider her as a sister,” she mumbled the last part of her answer in a bitter tone. It seemed to upset her, so I didn’t say anything else.
“What about you? No other family or whatever?”
“No… Just me,”
I pulled up at the car-lot of a random Mall in New York, switching off the engine. I undid my seatbelt, and Sazzy grabbed at her bag on the floor. I got out, locking the car and walking around it, wrapping my arm around her waist and leading her out of the dirty car lot and into a clean white door, into the Mall.
After Sazzy had brought herself a second wardrobe, and I brought a new pair of Misfits’ Vans, we went sightseeing.
I took her to the statue of Liberty, Central Park, Empire State Building, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Rockefeller Centre and everywhere else I possibly could. We had an amazing time. I took her out to a small, cute restaurant that was hidden away in the crappier side of the city for dinner. Even though it was in a crappy location, the food was amazing.
After our meal, I led Sazzy over to my car, getting in after. I started putting on my seatbelt, but I felt Sazzy’s hand on my shoulder. I turned to face her, the seatbelt slinking back in its place.
“Frankie… Thank you. So much,” she said, moving her hand to the back of her neck. I smiled at her, placing a hand on her forearm.
“For what?”
“This, today. No, everything. This whole trip… You,” she ranted, looking into my eyes at ‘you’. She leaned over, brushing her lips slowly against mine. My arm dropped from her arm to her hip, my free hand traveling to her hair, pulling her head towards me, closing the remaining gap between us. She moaned quietly, which pretty much drove me absolutely crazy. I pulled her towards me, and felt a smile on her lips. She pulled away, both her hands resting on my neck.
“We best go. It’s dark outside,” she said, her mouth shaped into a beautiful smile.
“But I don’t want to go yet…” I mumbled, pouting.
“But it’s late,” her smile growing slightly.
“Just… one more…” I muttered, leaning towards her again, my lips latching onto hers. I slid my tongue into her mouth, our tongues dancing erotically. My hands ran all over her body, covering every inch. She pushed on my chest, breaking our attachment. I looked into her eyes, stroking her cheek.
“You look so beautiful,” I mumbled into her ear, then placing my lips on her forehead.
“And your amazing.”
“Sazzy, are you okay…?”
“Fine,”
“Tell me,” I said, my eyes leaving the road to look at her. She was smiling, but it was… not a smile. Not her smile. I pulled up on the side of the highway, switching off the engine. Her eyes met mine, wet and glassed over with tears. I grabbed her hands, lacing them together with mine.
“Can we not wait till later? When we’re back at home?”
“No. Now,” I said sternly, squeezing her hands. She looked down at them, a tear dripping down and onto our hands.
“When I was eight… Shine married. It was an arranged marriage, and everyone thought that the guy was nice, respectable and all that. But about a year or so into their marriage… I was… I dunno. Just turned ten?” she started, still looking at our hands. I nodded, rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb.
“He abused her. But nobody knew. She kept it to herself. Didn’t tell anyone… But after a while, about a year after it all started, she confessed. Told Mum… It was because… He was infertile, and he took it out on her,” she whispered, tears dripping hot and fast onto our interlocked hands, warming our cold hands.
I suppose I got angry. I was kind of more… annoyed, I guess. Shine was a really nice person, and I would’ve never guessed that stuff like that happened to her.
“Because of that… We found out a lot more about him that we didn’t know. Back in Pakistan... he used to be… He was a rapist.”
My eyes widened, my mouth hanging open. A rapist?! Sazzy’s brother-in-law was a fucking rapist!
“What!?”
She nodded in conformation, looking up and into my eyes. I softened at her sight, reaching up and wiping away the tears that had cascaded down her face.
“Did he do anything to you…?” I asked, but dreading the answer. Her eyes tore away from mine, fixating back onto our hands.
“He… Not like that…”
“…Like what?”
“He tried to…”
“Tried to what?!” her voice was distant and quiet, insecure and unconfident. It angered me that I didn’t know about all of this before. But I kind of understood why she didn’t tell me, too.
“He tried to take advantage of me. But he didn’t. I got away. I was too fast for him,” she mumbled, looking back up again. I ripped our hands apart, leaping over to the passenger seat, wrapping my arms securely around her.
“I’m so sorry, Sazzy…” I muttered into her hair, my own eyes welling up with tears. She sniffed, her hot salty tears dripping onto my neck.
“Why is that on your mind now?” I asked, rubbing her back.
“I-I was thinking about that t-time you told m-me about K-Kevin,” she stuttered, clutching onto my t-shirt. I kissed her temple, tightening my grip on her.
Two days later, it was the 15th of July, and ridiculously hot. And today Sazzy and I were about to leave for the hour drive. Even though it only took around half an hour to get to New York from Jersey, there was bound to be traffic, so we prepared ourselves for it – mints and gum in stock, a stack of tapes for the stereo, an extra packet of cigarettes for me and extra money for Starbucks.
I was dressed in black shorts, and a Misfits’ shirt, along with a pair of black vans and my black rimmed sunglasses. My hair was gelled in spikes at the back as usual, leaving my fringe straight and resting over my right eye. Sazzy was wearing a yellow vest top, along with purple short shorts and yellow tights. Plain purple dolly shoes adorned her feet, and her hair was wild, backcombed and untamed, pulled over her right shoulder and held in place with a small black hair tie, which was pretty much unnoticeable, with a small yellow handbag slung on her shoulder, bouncing on her hip as she walked.
Like always, I helped her into the car, before walking around and getting into the drivers’ side, buckling my seatbelt. Sazzy already had her belt on, her bag on the floor of the car and her yellow rimmed sunglasses on… very co-coordinated today.
After we both got our caramel coffee frappachino, I drove towards the highway. Sazzy had undone her seatbelt, sitting on the seat cross-legged, fiddling with the tape player. She put on the Green Day album, ‘Dookie’.
Halfway through our drive, we were ridiculously bored, so we started throwing random questions about each other.
“What school did you go to before you came to England?” she asked, smiling over at me. Her legs were tucked under her, her hair wild and curly and over one shoulder, our hands laced together at the gear stick.
“It was called Queen of Peace. It was a Catholic school…” I answered, my eyes darting from her and the road, and back again.
“How many sisters do you actually have? I’ve lost count,” I said, smiling. She smiled back, brushing her dark fringe out of her eyes.
“I have four. Shine, Shan, Zahra, and Ani. Shan ran away, though. I don’t consider her as a sister,” she mumbled the last part of her answer in a bitter tone. It seemed to upset her, so I didn’t say anything else.
“What about you? No other family or whatever?”
“No… Just me,”
I pulled up at the car-lot of a random Mall in New York, switching off the engine. I undid my seatbelt, and Sazzy grabbed at her bag on the floor. I got out, locking the car and walking around it, wrapping my arm around her waist and leading her out of the dirty car lot and into a clean white door, into the Mall.
After Sazzy had brought herself a second wardrobe, and I brought a new pair of Misfits’ Vans, we went sightseeing.
I took her to the statue of Liberty, Central Park, Empire State Building, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Rockefeller Centre and everywhere else I possibly could. We had an amazing time. I took her out to a small, cute restaurant that was hidden away in the crappier side of the city for dinner. Even though it was in a crappy location, the food was amazing.
After our meal, I led Sazzy over to my car, getting in after. I started putting on my seatbelt, but I felt Sazzy’s hand on my shoulder. I turned to face her, the seatbelt slinking back in its place.
“Frankie… Thank you. So much,” she said, moving her hand to the back of her neck. I smiled at her, placing a hand on her forearm.
“For what?”
“This, today. No, everything. This whole trip… You,” she ranted, looking into my eyes at ‘you’. She leaned over, brushing her lips slowly against mine. My arm dropped from her arm to her hip, my free hand traveling to her hair, pulling her head towards me, closing the remaining gap between us. She moaned quietly, which pretty much drove me absolutely crazy. I pulled her towards me, and felt a smile on her lips. She pulled away, both her hands resting on my neck.
“We best go. It’s dark outside,” she said, her mouth shaped into a beautiful smile.
“But I don’t want to go yet…” I mumbled, pouting.
“But it’s late,” her smile growing slightly.
“Just… one more…” I muttered, leaning towards her again, my lips latching onto hers. I slid my tongue into her mouth, our tongues dancing erotically. My hands ran all over her body, covering every inch. She pushed on my chest, breaking our attachment. I looked into her eyes, stroking her cheek.
“You look so beautiful,” I mumbled into her ear, then placing my lips on her forehead.
“And your amazing.”
“Sazzy, are you okay…?”
“Fine,”
“Tell me,” I said, my eyes leaving the road to look at her. She was smiling, but it was… not a smile. Not her smile. I pulled up on the side of the highway, switching off the engine. Her eyes met mine, wet and glassed over with tears. I grabbed her hands, lacing them together with mine.
“Can we not wait till later? When we’re back at home?”
“No. Now,” I said sternly, squeezing her hands. She looked down at them, a tear dripping down and onto our hands.
“When I was eight… Shine married. It was an arranged marriage, and everyone thought that the guy was nice, respectable and all that. But about a year or so into their marriage… I was… I dunno. Just turned ten?” she started, still looking at our hands. I nodded, rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb.
“He abused her. But nobody knew. She kept it to herself. Didn’t tell anyone… But after a while, about a year after it all started, she confessed. Told Mum… It was because… He was infertile, and he took it out on her,” she whispered, tears dripping hot and fast onto our interlocked hands, warming our cold hands.
I suppose I got angry. I was kind of more… annoyed, I guess. Shine was a really nice person, and I would’ve never guessed that stuff like that happened to her.
“Because of that… We found out a lot more about him that we didn’t know. Back in Pakistan... he used to be… He was a rapist.”
My eyes widened, my mouth hanging open. A rapist?! Sazzy’s brother-in-law was a fucking rapist!
“What!?”
She nodded in conformation, looking up and into my eyes. I softened at her sight, reaching up and wiping away the tears that had cascaded down her face.
“Did he do anything to you…?” I asked, but dreading the answer. Her eyes tore away from mine, fixating back onto our hands.
“He… Not like that…”
“…Like what?”
“He tried to…”
“Tried to what?!” her voice was distant and quiet, insecure and unconfident. It angered me that I didn’t know about all of this before. But I kind of understood why she didn’t tell me, too.
“He tried to take advantage of me. But he didn’t. I got away. I was too fast for him,” she mumbled, looking back up again. I ripped our hands apart, leaping over to the passenger seat, wrapping my arms securely around her.
“I’m so sorry, Sazzy…” I muttered into her hair, my own eyes welling up with tears. She sniffed, her hot salty tears dripping onto my neck.
“Why is that on your mind now?” I asked, rubbing her back.
“I-I was thinking about that t-time you told m-me about K-Kevin,” she stuttered, clutching onto my t-shirt. I kissed her temple, tightening my grip on her.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is all taking longer than I thought.I have to rush a little with the rest of this, and slow down at the end, if that makes sense.
You all get a chapter today because I love you all and all your comments.
Let’s try and get to 225 comments before the end. Think about… 9 or 10 chapters left?
So get commenting.
I feel like a little bit of fun.
Whoever knows what song the quote below is from, I will give them a little piece to the last chapter. I’m strange in a way, so it’ll be a little different; not an opening or anything, so don’t expect much.
It will be worth it, though.
Ani, you cannot play because you have access to my play-list.
Energy spent trying to believe you're not worth it,
You don't deserve it
But I wish you did 'cause I can't live without this…