Stripes In The Devil
Chaptah 25: "Dream Of The Joyous Day To Come"
“Holy shit” Spencer cried next to me and fell off the bed. I rolled over and looked down at him on the ground. “Watcha doin’ on the floor” I asked yawning. “Funny. How did you get in my room?” he demanded slightly irritably. “I know where your spare key is” I replied cheerfully. “Rae next time you’re going to come over in the middle of the night you might give me a heads up so I don’t have a heart attack.” “Will do!” I bubbled.
“You sure are happy this morning he said crawling back up onto the bed. “We’re leaving today, of course I’m excited” I exclaimed. “Obviously” Spencer grumbled and buried his face in the pillow. “Jeez who stuck a stick up your ass?” I asked. “What? I’m just tired.” I snuggled against his warm body and he wrapped his arms around mine. “We have to go meet the guys in two hours” I said glancing at the clock. “I need to go say goodbye to my parents and grandparents” he said more to himself than to me. I got the feeling that he was having second thoughts.
I took Spencer to go see his parents at work and then his grandparents. From his grandparents’ house we picked up all the equipment and loaded it into my car. On our way back to my place to meet the guys we could barely fit in my little car with all of our equipment. When we reached the apartment Aaron was waiting outside with Brent. “Yo A we’re going to have put some of this in Ryan’s car” I said gesturing towards my weighed down car. “Well first we have to wait or him to get here” Aaron replied looking at the clock on his phone. As if on cue Ryan and Brendon pulled into the parking lot. With Brendon behind the wheel they wildly jumped a curb.
At first glance when they got out of the car Ryan looked a mess. His skin was pale from lack of sleep and his eyes were red and puffy. The smiles faded from Spencer and Brent’s faces. Spencer’s arm moved from around my shoulders to those of his best friend.
I walked over to the curb and sat down next to my car. As I sat there I watched Spencer, Brent, and Brendon comforting Ryan. Seeing their concern made me miss my friends in Chicago so badly… and then I looked at them again. Ryan looked so broken. I had only seen someone broken like that once before.
“Damn it Dana I can’t do this anymore – Rachel can’t do it!” She kept on packing. She kept putting clothes in the bag. Shirts, pants, pictures, CD’s, everything. I clutched at her arms leaving nail marks on her warm tan skin. “Mommy, mommy, please don’t leave us! Just don’t go, don’t leave me!” I begged and sobbed to her. There was already a cab outside. The last time she said her farewell she kissed my head and pulled my hands from her. And then she was gone…
My father – my daddy – he held me in his arms. We sared our grief over the loss of the woman we both loved. “Don’t cry sweetie, don’t cry” he said. He couldn’t stifle his own tears. “She’s not coming back this time is she?” I knew the answer. I knew we were on our own.
“Babe” Spencer said shaking my shoulder. “Wha-?” I said stupidly blinking away my glazed eyes. E offered me a hand and pulled me to my feet. “Why are you taking everything out of my car?” “Weren’t you listening at all?” he asked. “Um no” I confessed grimacing slightly.
I turned out that since Aaron wasn’t riding with us (“Go on a road trip with Rachel, no thanks. I’m flying out tomorrow”), we were all riding in Ryan’s car. It was bigger than mine after all. While the guys packed things into Ryan’s car I looked on his half hearted attempts with certain tenderness. He had been my first friend here and it seemed like we hardly talked anymore. I made a mental note that we needed to have a good talk alone soon.
“I think we can leave now” Brendon said slamming the trunk shut. “So who’s sitting where?” I asked. “Ooh I wanna drive” Brendon jumped up and down and yelled. “Go for it. I’ll sit up front with you” Brent volunteered. I mouthed ‘thank you’ to him for taking one for the team. We all got into the car and I took a seat between Ryan and Spencer. The car was so amazingly packed. “Ryan have I ever told you that you drive a grandpa car?” I asked. “Yeah I believe you told me that the first time we met, but I blamed it on your minor concussion” Ryan replied with a little smirk. “Well you grandpa car has a lot of trunk space” I said eyeing the keyboard beneath my feet. Apart from it, my duffle bag, and Ryan’s guitar everything had fit. “That was my first thought when I bought it” he replied with a wink. “I figured” I laughed.
I resolved to make my ride as comfortable as possible and catch up on some much needed sleep. “Baby hand me my blankie” I said pointing to my bag under Spencer’s legs. “You brought a blanket with you?” Brendon asked over his shoulder. “Eyes on the road!” we all shouted as he began to drift off the highway. “Yeah what are you planning on sleeping with” I replied. I snuggled up in Spencer’s cest and wrapped my blanket tightly around me.
***
“Sorry” I murmured wiping drool from the corner of my mouth. Spencer was dead asleep and didn’t hear me at all. I glanced around me and saw that Brendon was sleeping in the passenger seat now while Brent drove. Spencer’s arms were wrapped around my waist and his body turned completely sideways. Ryan was leaned sideways uncomfortably with his head in my lap. I reached down to brush his hair out of his eyes and there were dried tears on his face.
“Hey Brent, what’s up?” I said quietly. Brent smile back at me in the rearview mirror and took out his head phones. “Decided to wake up today?” Brent said. He told me I had sleeping for almost 5 hours. What can I say? I like to sleep. “We go t a lot of hours to go” I murmured. I turned a little more comfortably and pulled Spencer’s arms a little tighter around me.
Ryan looked so uncomfortable so I decided to wake him. “Ry” I whispered patting his face, but he didn’t stir. I shook his shoulder and finally he opened his eyes with what looked like great effort. “Sweetie, turn sideways more. Your back is gonna hurt like hell later.” I crossed my legs and laid his head on my tummy again but more comfortable this time.
I brushed his hair from side to side with my finger tips. “You know” Ryan said looking up at me “I think maybe a change in scenery will be good fro me.” He nodded seeming to agree with himself. “Let’s go bowling” I said, and he just smiled. “No, I really want to go bowling before you start recording.” “Okay we’ll go bowling” he replied. Brent had put hi headphones back in by then. After a few minutes without speaking he fell back asleep and then me soon after.
“You sure are happy this morning he said crawling back up onto the bed. “We’re leaving today, of course I’m excited” I exclaimed. “Obviously” Spencer grumbled and buried his face in the pillow. “Jeez who stuck a stick up your ass?” I asked. “What? I’m just tired.” I snuggled against his warm body and he wrapped his arms around mine. “We have to go meet the guys in two hours” I said glancing at the clock. “I need to go say goodbye to my parents and grandparents” he said more to himself than to me. I got the feeling that he was having second thoughts.
I took Spencer to go see his parents at work and then his grandparents. From his grandparents’ house we picked up all the equipment and loaded it into my car. On our way back to my place to meet the guys we could barely fit in my little car with all of our equipment. When we reached the apartment Aaron was waiting outside with Brent. “Yo A we’re going to have put some of this in Ryan’s car” I said gesturing towards my weighed down car. “Well first we have to wait or him to get here” Aaron replied looking at the clock on his phone. As if on cue Ryan and Brendon pulled into the parking lot. With Brendon behind the wheel they wildly jumped a curb.
At first glance when they got out of the car Ryan looked a mess. His skin was pale from lack of sleep and his eyes were red and puffy. The smiles faded from Spencer and Brent’s faces. Spencer’s arm moved from around my shoulders to those of his best friend.
I walked over to the curb and sat down next to my car. As I sat there I watched Spencer, Brent, and Brendon comforting Ryan. Seeing their concern made me miss my friends in Chicago so badly… and then I looked at them again. Ryan looked so broken. I had only seen someone broken like that once before.
“Damn it Dana I can’t do this anymore – Rachel can’t do it!” She kept on packing. She kept putting clothes in the bag. Shirts, pants, pictures, CD’s, everything. I clutched at her arms leaving nail marks on her warm tan skin. “Mommy, mommy, please don’t leave us! Just don’t go, don’t leave me!” I begged and sobbed to her. There was already a cab outside. The last time she said her farewell she kissed my head and pulled my hands from her. And then she was gone…
My father – my daddy – he held me in his arms. We sared our grief over the loss of the woman we both loved. “Don’t cry sweetie, don’t cry” he said. He couldn’t stifle his own tears. “She’s not coming back this time is she?” I knew the answer. I knew we were on our own.
“Babe” Spencer said shaking my shoulder. “Wha-?” I said stupidly blinking away my glazed eyes. E offered me a hand and pulled me to my feet. “Why are you taking everything out of my car?” “Weren’t you listening at all?” he asked. “Um no” I confessed grimacing slightly.
I turned out that since Aaron wasn’t riding with us (“Go on a road trip with Rachel, no thanks. I’m flying out tomorrow”), we were all riding in Ryan’s car. It was bigger than mine after all. While the guys packed things into Ryan’s car I looked on his half hearted attempts with certain tenderness. He had been my first friend here and it seemed like we hardly talked anymore. I made a mental note that we needed to have a good talk alone soon.
“I think we can leave now” Brendon said slamming the trunk shut. “So who’s sitting where?” I asked. “Ooh I wanna drive” Brendon jumped up and down and yelled. “Go for it. I’ll sit up front with you” Brent volunteered. I mouthed ‘thank you’ to him for taking one for the team. We all got into the car and I took a seat between Ryan and Spencer. The car was so amazingly packed. “Ryan have I ever told you that you drive a grandpa car?” I asked. “Yeah I believe you told me that the first time we met, but I blamed it on your minor concussion” Ryan replied with a little smirk. “Well you grandpa car has a lot of trunk space” I said eyeing the keyboard beneath my feet. Apart from it, my duffle bag, and Ryan’s guitar everything had fit. “That was my first thought when I bought it” he replied with a wink. “I figured” I laughed.
I resolved to make my ride as comfortable as possible and catch up on some much needed sleep. “Baby hand me my blankie” I said pointing to my bag under Spencer’s legs. “You brought a blanket with you?” Brendon asked over his shoulder. “Eyes on the road!” we all shouted as he began to drift off the highway. “Yeah what are you planning on sleeping with” I replied. I snuggled up in Spencer’s cest and wrapped my blanket tightly around me.
***
“Sorry” I murmured wiping drool from the corner of my mouth. Spencer was dead asleep and didn’t hear me at all. I glanced around me and saw that Brendon was sleeping in the passenger seat now while Brent drove. Spencer’s arms were wrapped around my waist and his body turned completely sideways. Ryan was leaned sideways uncomfortably with his head in my lap. I reached down to brush his hair out of his eyes and there were dried tears on his face.
“Hey Brent, what’s up?” I said quietly. Brent smile back at me in the rearview mirror and took out his head phones. “Decided to wake up today?” Brent said. He told me I had sleeping for almost 5 hours. What can I say? I like to sleep. “We go t a lot of hours to go” I murmured. I turned a little more comfortably and pulled Spencer’s arms a little tighter around me.
Ryan looked so uncomfortable so I decided to wake him. “Ry” I whispered patting his face, but he didn’t stir. I shook his shoulder and finally he opened his eyes with what looked like great effort. “Sweetie, turn sideways more. Your back is gonna hurt like hell later.” I crossed my legs and laid his head on my tummy again but more comfortable this time.
I brushed his hair from side to side with my finger tips. “You know” Ryan said looking up at me “I think maybe a change in scenery will be good fro me.” He nodded seeming to agree with himself. “Let’s go bowling” I said, and he just smiled. “No, I really want to go bowling before you start recording.” “Okay we’ll go bowling” he replied. Brent had put hi headphones back in by then. After a few minutes without speaking he fell back asleep and then me soon after.