Until You Feel It

When I woke up I felt gross. There was a horrid taste in my mouth and my hair was matted to my makeup-smeared face. I looked at my clock, it was almost eleven.

I turned onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. Last night was horrible. Forget the fact that I threw up in a bush, but Bill Kaulitz saw me do it. I groaned and buried my face in my pillow as I remembered.

I pulled myself out of bed and trudged to the bathroom. My stomach muscles ached from throwing up last night and the taste in my mouth made me want to puke again.

When I saw myself in the mirror I jumped and then laughed. I looked like a train wreck. I tied my hair back and then brushed my teeth…twice. I then decided that I needed a shower. The water felt so good as it washed the last remnants of last night away.

As I thought about it, not all of last night had been bad. Like the part when Bill held me in the car as we drove back to the hotel, or the part where he kissed me before he left. Maybe I would hold on to those parts of the night, and let everything else wash away.

I got out of the shower and got dressed, leaving my hair down and wet. When I had some clothes on I decided that I needed to see Bill, to thank him for last night.

As I was about to leave my room, I saw one of Tom's shirts. He had forgotten it at the last hotel we stayed at and I had picked it up for him. I grabbed it and took it with me, deciding that I could drop it off on the way to Bill's room.

I stepped out into the hallway and saw that the door to Tom's room was already open. That was surprising considering that after a night like last, he would sleep right until Vince sent me to wake him up.

But then I saw the reason his door was open. Walking out, in last night's clothes, was the brunette who had been all over him at the party. She stepped out into the hallway and his hand shot out of the room to pull her back. I got slightly closer to his room and saw them standing just inside the door, making out like there was no tomorrow.

''I have to go.'' she giggled, pulling away from him.

''Call me.'' she said, slipping a piece of paper into his hand.

''Definitely.'' he said.

She smiled sweetly and left. When she saw me in the hall, she looked like a girl who had just been caught on top of the babysitter by her parents.

''I–uh.'' she stuttered, stopping in the middle of the hall.

''Just go.'' I said and she sighed in relief.

''You're such a slut sometimes Tom.'' I said walking to his door. He was standing there in nothing but boxers and a hat and I rolled my eyes.

''What can I say? I like brunettes.'' he said, winking at me and I laughed.

''Put some clothes on.'' I said, throwing the shirt I was carrying at his face and he laughed.

''You know you like seeing me like this.'' he called as I continued to walk.

''Oh yea, the thought of you in your underwear keeps me up at night.'' I said, rolling my eyes.

When I got to Bill's room I knocked softly on the door. I heard a muffled ''Whosit?'' and I told him it was me. A minute later he opened the door. He –unlike Tom- was wearing a t-shirt and shorts and neither his makeup nor his hair were done.

''Hey, you look like you're feeling better.'' he said, walking back to his bed.

''And you look tired.'' I laughed.

''I am. To make a long story short, we need to start staying in hotels with soundproof walls. I swear Tom always picks the screamers.'' Bill said and I burst out laughing.

He got back into bed and I set cross-legged next to him. He looked up at me and smiled.

''Bill?'' I said as he started to close his eyes.

''Hm?'' he answered.

''Thank you, for last night, for you know, helping me.'' I said, looking at my hands.

''I'll always be here to help you, no matter how many bushes you throw up in.'' he said with a grin.

''Oh god, don't remind me.'' I laughed and he smiled.

''So I take it you haven't puked in front of many people before?'' he asked playfully.

''People, yes. Gorgeous rock stars, no.'' I said and then wished I could have snatched my words out of the air.

''You think I'm gorgeous?'' he teased and I blushed.

''No, you're hearing things.'' I retorted, folding my arms and looking at a point on the wall that was suddenly very interesting.

''You think I'm gorgeous.'' he taunted, poking me in the side.

''Do not!'' I said, sounding like a five year old.

''Do so!'' he laughed, continuing to poke me.

I decided to fight back and started to tickle him back. I was insanely ticklish and there was no way I was going to win this fight, but I continued to try even after I fell over next to him. He was virtually on top of me as he tickled me and I tried desperately to get away. My face was starting to hurt from laughing and I was short of breath. I gave up, knowing I wasn't going to win and he stopped soon after, knowing he had won.

Now, the unknowing onlooker, could make some pretty racy assumptions about what was going on in Bills bed right then. That unknowing onlooker would have seen Bill and I wrestling in his bed and would now be seeing Bill practically on top of me, tangled in sheets, both of us breathing raggedly. That onlooker would definetly get the wrong idea.

Bill stared down at me, his striking brown eyes boring into mine. His face's proximity to my own was not making catching my breath any easier and the urge to kiss him had never been stronger. He seemed to be feeling the same thing as I was as he started to lean down, but stopped halfway.

Half of me was screaming, no begging for me to just kiss him already, but my more rational side retorted with a strong 'you work for them!'. I was so torn. Sure I had kissed Bill before, well he had kissed me, but that was different. That time it was in front of a hundred some odd people and we didn't know each other. This time it was just me and him, lying in his bed, staring into each other's eyes. I had known Bill for a while now and we had gotten rather close over the last few weeks, especially last night.

One of us needed to make a decision quick, before my less rational side won the argument I was having with myself.

It seemed as though he had made up his mind as he started again to lean down towards me. Half of me was ecstatic while have of me was morally opposed. My breathing sped up again as he got closer.

Closer…

Closer…

''Bill? Have you seen Mandy?'' Vince called from the other side of the door.

Bill looked torn between answering the door and acting like he hadn't heard it. He sighed and then spoke

''Yea, she's with me.'' Bill said, moving off of me and lying next to me instead.

''That won't raise suspicions.'' I muttered and Bill grinned. I got up and went to his dresser. I grabbed his eyeliner and went for the door.

I opened the door and Vince was standing there giving me one of the most questioning looks I had ever seen in my life.

''I couldn't find my eyeliner.'' I said, holding up the pencil I had taken from Bill's dresser.

''Oh.'' Vince said and then went into Bill's room as I went out.

Tom's door was propped open and Gustav was in there with him. Tom saw me pass and jumped up from where he was sitting to grab me out of the hallway.

''KIDNAP!''I screamed as he pulled me into his room.

''Oh shut up.'' he said playfully.

''What were you doing in my brothers room?'' he asked suspiciously.

''What was that girl doing in your room?'' I retorted.

''Somehow I don't think it's the same.'' Gustav said but Tom's eyes lit up.

''Or is it?'' he asked, looking like a thirteen year old girl reading her favourite gossip magazine.

''It's not.'' I said flatly.

''Than what were you doing in there?'' Gustav asked, just as curious as Tom although he was much better at hiding it.

''Borrowing his eyeliner.'' I said sweetly, batting my eyelashes.

Before they could say anything else, I jumped up and ran back to my room. I'd be in for it later but as for right now, but who cared? I had just escaped two interrogations using nothing but an eyeliner pencil.