Until You Feel It

The screams coming from the audience as Tokio Hotel took the stage were ear splitting and I loved it. The noise was even louder from in front and I wondered how the boys weren't deaf yet.

They were just taking the stage now and I took a few pictures of them and then some of the crowd. Most of the frontline was girls, screaming at the top of their lungs and reaching out to Bill as he walked along the front of the stage.

The gap between the stage and the crowd that I was standing in was big enough for me to fit through while still being small enough that Bill could reach out to the people in the front row.

The girls right in front of me starting going crazy. I turned to the stage to see Bill coming in this direction and turned to take a few pictures. When he saw me he looked surprised but then winked at me and went back to centre stage.

As I walked down the line, the boys started their first song. They opened with Ready, Set, Go! I had mentioned to Bill that it was one of my favourites and he winked as he came back to the front of the stage and I took a few more pictures of him and the fans.

He was posing a lot more than usual and I figured it was because this time I was behind the lens and not a random old man who no doubt got horny looking at the boy's pictures. Now I'm not saying that I didn't, I'm simply saying I'm not a random old man.

I was halfway across the stage and was taking pictures of just about everyone I saw and whichever band member I was closest to. One of the security guards gave me a boost every so often so that I could get pictures of the whole audience.

The front line of people was mostly girls and I was starting to think that they only had girl fans when just a little down the line I saw two guys. I was ecstatic, more often than not, the people in the front row were ones with backstage passes. This would be the concert to prove Tom wrong about only girls having passes.

I continued taking pictures of the people that I passed and the band as I moved towards the front row boys. My excitement was growing with each step, I couldn't wait to meet –what seemed like- the only two guys who had ever been front row and had backstage passes.

I got closer as the band started a new song. I couldn't help but feel like I'd seen these guys before as I got closer to them. I took another step and then stopped dead in my tracks.

I most definitely had seen these guys before and they went by the names of Alex and Trevor.

I continued down the aisle, much slower now. After my 'night' with Alex, I didn't know what to expect from him. I didn't know why, but some part of me didn't want Alex to kiss me in front of Bill, it just didn't feel right.

Although I was going much slower now, I was still getting close to them. I started taking more pictures of the band now, trying to put off getting to Alex. I knew I couldn't put it off anymore and I started taking pictures of the fans again.

I was so close now, there was only a few people left between us.

''WE LOVE YOU BILL!'' a couple of girls in front of me screeched and I laughed as I took a picture of him coming over to them to touch their hands and their reactions when he did.

Alex and Trevor seemed to be in a completely different world as I got closer to them and I was starting to think they might now even notice me.

Like that was ever going to happen.

As I got in front of Alex, his face lit up in recognition.

''Mandy!'' he called over the music.

''Hey!'' I called back, trying to seem as enthusiastic as he was.

''Long time no see! What're you doing?'' he asked, glancing at my camera.

''I'm the band's assistant, I'm taking pictures of fans.'' I said, snapping a picture of him.

''You work for them! That's crazy! So you'll be backstage after right?'' he asked and I nodded.

''Well I'll see you there.'' he grinned, pulling a pass out of his back pocket.

I smiled and then continued down the line, almost dreading the end of the concert.

''Thank you! We love you all!'' Bill said, sounding out of breath and the crowd cheered.

The boys bowed and exited stage left, where I was now.

''That was great you guys!'' I said, being completely truthful but somehow not able to come up with the same kind of enthusiasm I could at the end of most of their concerts.

''Thanks Mandy.'' Bill said, pulling me into yet another smelly, post-concert hug.

''Come on boys you need to get showered, we've got quite a crowd today.'' Vince said, leading the boys to their dressing rooms.

''Have to smell good for the ladies.'' Tom said as he strutted towards his dressing room.

''And the guys to.'' Vince said and Tom immediately lost his strut.

''Looks like Mandy was right! We do have some guy fans!'' Gustav laughed.

''I suddenly wish you didn't.'' I muttered to myself as we walked.

''Mandy, go set the stuff out will you?'' Vince asked and I nodded and turned off towards the lounge.

As I walked towards the lounge, I saw a few security guards. The pass holders couldn't be here yet…could they?

''Mandy!'' Alex called happily down the hall.

Apparently they could. I waved and smiled.

''Bill this is Alex the guy I made out with all night a few days after you kissed me in front of a hundred people, and Alex this is Bill the German rock star who kissed me in front of a hundred people before asking for my number and then asked me to go on tour with him and his band.''

''Oh this is going to be fun.'' I thought sarcastically as I walked slowly towards Alex.