Until You Feel It

It was early Friday morning and we were at a television studio. The boys were doing a spot on some talk show to help promote the rest of their tour. I knew the hostess's name was Connie, or Carly –something like that- but that was about it. I wasn't really a fan of talk shows.

The band was in hair and makeup now and I was watching them be groomed, much to my amusement. Bill seemed perfectly at ease as two girls twittered around him, doing his makeup and hair, but the other boys seemed dreadfully uncomfortable as the makeup artists powered them and the hair stylists primped them.

Bill, being so cooperative, was finished early and I was sitting next to him on the couch. We were talking about nothing in particular when Tom yelled.

''OK! OK! That’s enough!'' he yelled at the woman who had been powdering his face.

''Tom stop being such a wuss.'' I teased and he glared at me.

''You know, for how tough he acts, Tom really is just a big teddy bear underneath it all.'' Bill mused.

''One with spikes.'' I laughed as Tom put his hands up as if he were going to karate chop the makeup girl.

A few minutes later, the makeup and hair people were done with the boys and they left, leaving Vince, the band, and me.

''Alright boys, you're on soon. I want big smiles.'' Vince said and all the boys put on their best, rehearsed smiles at the same time, making me laugh.

''Excuse me you're on after this break.'' a very nasally man said from the doorway.

''Good luck.'' I sang as they left the room.

Vince and I were going to watch the show from the front row so we went out to take our seats. The boys were on the set, being wired with microphones and introducing themselves to the hostess.

The crew people cleared off the set and the cameraman began counting down from five. When he reached two, he stopped counting out loud and the hostess plastered a carefully practiced smile across her face.

''Welcome back, I'm Carly Dimiko and I'm here with German punk rock band Tokio Hotel who are currently on tour here!'' she announced happily.

The applause light went on over the set and everyone started to clap. I personally found it rather demeaning that they didn't think we were smart enough to know when to clap.

''Now today we've got the whole band with us. Georg Listing the bassist, Gustav Schäfer the drummer, lead guitarist Tom Kaulitz and his twin brother and lead singer Bill Kaulitz.'' Carly said and the applause light went on again as she said each of their names.

''Now you boys are how old?'' she asked them.

''Eightteen.'' the twins answered at the same time and the whole studio chuckled.

''Gustav is twenty and Georg is twenty one, so we're the youngest.'' Bill informed her. He really was good at taking charge of interviews.

''And how long have you been together as a band?'' she asked.

''Forever?'' Bill suggested and the studio audience laughed a generic laugh.

Carly continued to ask boring, hear-it-before questions and I started to tune them out, finding out that the song playing in my head was much more interesting. On the commercial breaks carly would continue to talk to the boys and Vince and I stayed seated, silent except for the odd remark about the show. Apparently he thought the questions were as bad as I did.

It was finally near the end of the show –a fact that I was grateful for- and after the boys performed we got to leave. I had once again begun to tune out the boring interview when something suddenly sparked my attention. From beside her chair, carly produced a magazine. My eyes widened and I sat upright in my chair as I made out one of the headlines.

''TH Lead Singer Stops for a Smooch! See page 5!''

I blushed a deep red as I figured out what was coming. The big public kiss between Bill and me had been mentioned by a few other reporters, but Bill never really gave a straight answer. He still hadn't even told me why he kissed me, but whenever anyone mentioned it Tom grinned mischievously and Bill laughed it off. I hadn't pried about it though, Bill Kaulitz had kissed me and I had no desire to question his motives.

''Now Bill, we're almost out of time, but I just have to ask the question that's no doubt been on the mind of every Tokio Hotel fan.'' she said, holding the magazine open to page five. Bill stared wide-eyed at the page before smiling a slightly embarrassed smile and Tom started to chuckle.

''Who is this girl that you kissed and more importantly, why did you kiss her?'' Carly asked as a bigger version of the magazine came up on the screen behind her so that the audience could see.

''It's a funny story.'' Tom said, grinning and looking at Bill. The whole studio seemed to be on the edge of their seats as they waited for an answer.

''We came out of the concert hall and Tom spotted her in the crowd, he said something about her being the only one not screaming.'' he said. That was fudged a bit. Bill had elbowed Tom in the ribs and then pointed at me.

''So as we got closer to where she was standing, Tom dared me to do it, to kiss her.'' he said and a wave of mixed emotions washed over me. I had been a dare? I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended.

''Now at first I didn’t want to, there were so many photographers and fans, but once Tom dares you to do something, there really is no getting out of it.'' Bill said and Tom grinned proudly.

''So I went over to her and asked if I could kiss her before I did, it was only polite.'' he said.

''So that's what he asked.'' I thought and giggled to myself.

''And then I asked for her phone number, how could I not? Look at her, she's very pretty.'' he said with a grin and looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I blushed furiously and saw Vince grinning at me as well.

''You still haven't told us who she is and if you are together.'' Carly said and all four boys seemed to glance at me.

''Her name's Amanda, and we're very close.'' Bill said, choosing his words carefully. He seemed to look at me as if to ask if it was alright that he just told her that.

Bill hadn't said we were together, and we weren't, but he also said that we were very close and I knew that wondering if there were any underlying meanings to that comment would keep me awake at night.

''Well that's almost all the time we have today and I want to thank you guys for coming and taking time out of your busy schedule to be here.'' Carly said.

''Thank you for having us.'' Bill said, smiling. All the boys got up and went over to the part of the set where their instruments were set up.

''Ladies and gentlemen give it up one more time for Tokio Hotel!'' Carly said, clapping along with the audience as the band began to play Ready, Set, Go!

Vince and I went back to the boys' dressing rooms so that we could meet them there. I told Vince that I had forgotten something in Bill's dressing room and I went in and sat on the counter.

There was a lot of commotion suddenly in the main room and I knew the boys were back. Bill's voice was loud right outside of the door and I knew he was about to come in. the doorknob turned and he walked in backwards, still talking to the people in the main room.

''So I was a dare?'' I asked as he closed the door and he jumped, looking rather like a dear in the headlights.

''Uh yea?'' he said, scratching the back of his head nervously.

''And were you ever going to tell me? Or was I going to have to beat it out of you with a magazine?'' I said playfully and his nervousness washed away as he realized that I wasn't upset.

''What can I say? It was one of the most beneficial dares of my life.'' he said with a smile and I felt myself blush. I was going to have to get a handle on that.

''Oh really?'' I asked, swinging my legs a bit. Bill was standing in front of me now and I was trying desperately not to stare at his beautiful face. I was still blushing. Wait, wasn't I the one who was holding the interrogation here? I had to get back my momentum.

''So you think I'm very pretty?'' I asked, grinning and raising one eyebrow slightly. He was leaning on my legs like he had done before and I chanced a look at his face.

''Beautiful.'' he said and then quickly kissed my forehead. I blushed even more, so much for taking back the interrogation.

But who really cared?

Bill Kaulitz just told me that he thought I was beautiful.