Until You Feel It

''Thanks again dad.'' I said, walking my father to the door.

''You're welcome, I'm always here.'' he said, hugging me and kissing the top of my head.

He left and I closed the door. I went to my room and crashed on my bed.

The ride back to my apartment with my dad had been –what's the word- utterly unforgettable. My dad had never been the type to get flaming mad, or reprimand me until my eyes fell out, a fact that I was suddenly grateful for.

When he got to the beach I was waiting. He got out of the car and I ran to hug him. He asked if I was ok and I'd told him I was fine. On the drive back to my apartment, instead of giving me a whole lecture about how I needed to make better choices –or something along those lines- he had simply told me that he was glad that I had called him and that I trusted him enough to tell him exactly why I was out on the beach.

Oh and I had told him everything. All about how Alex had asked me out, about my newfound feelings for Bill, and how the only way to save Alex was to tell him the brutal truth, not to mention how he had reacted to that truth.

I'd always been close with my dad. I'd never wronged him and he'd returned the favour my trusting me unequivocally. Although my mom had been sketchy about me going on tour with Tokio Hotel, my dad had convinced her that I was responsible enough to handle myself around the four boys.

''What happened!'' Eden shrieked as she raced into my room. She had just got back from another date with Tom and I assumed she had seen my dad leaving.

''I told him and he left me at the beach.'' I told her and her jaw fell open.

''What?'' she asked sounding rather astonished.

''We had a nice dinner and went for a walk on the beach, at which point he decided to profess his feelings for me and I told him that I didn't fell the same way.'' I explained.

''How did he take it?'' she asked.

''He left me there E, I had to call my dad to come get me.'' I said and she mouthed an 'oh'.

''I'm sorry honey.'' she said, lying next to me and stroking my hair.

''Well at least you had a better night. How did your date go?'' I asked and I could practically feel the happiness radiating off of her.

''It was amazing! We went out for dinner to some fancy restaurant and then –get this- we went to the drive-in! It was so romantic.'' she said but I heard the way she'd said 'romantic'.

''And you sat in the back of his car making out for most of the movie?'' I asked, my eyebrows raised.

''No!'' she said defensively.

''We were in the front seat.'' she added and we both started to laugh.

*~Tom's Point of View~*

I'd just gotten back from my date with Eden. I was really starting to like her. She was different than the other girls I'd met. She played hard –but not too hard- to get, and I liked it. She was so cute and always made me smile, not too mention how great of a kisser she was.

When I got to the hotel, the lights were on in Gustav's room and I knocked on the door.

''Look who's back.'' Georg said, opening the door.

I looked around the room. Georg and Gustav were playing video games but I didn't see my brother.

''Where's Bill?'' I asked.

''He's in his room, said he didn't feel well.'' Gustav said, staring at the TV screen.

''Oh.'' I said before turning and leaving.

I went to Bill's room and knocked on the door. The big light wasn't on in his room but I could see through the curtains that the bedside lamp was on and I could hear him singing inside.

''Bill? It's me.'' I called but I got no answer.

''Hey Vince? Can I get the key to Bill's room? He's not answering me.'' I said after knocking on the door to Vince's room.

''Yea here.'' Vince said, handing me the key and then disappearing back inside his room.

I went to Bill's room and slowly opened the door. He was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling with his headphones in, and singing 'Rescue Me' full blast. There was too much emotion in the way he was singing and I immediately knew something was wrong.

''Bill?'' I said, walking over to the side of his bed but I didn't think he heard me.

''Come and rescue me, I'm burning can't you see? Come and rescue me, only you can set me free.'' he continued to sing.

''Bill!'' I said again, pulling out one of his earphones. He jumped three feet and swore loudly, making me laugh.

''You scared me, how did you get in here?'' he asked, sitting up against the headboard.

''Vince gave me the key. So what's up?'' I asked, pulling a chair to the side of his bed.

''Nothing.'' he said, fiddling with his headphones.

''You can't lie to me you know.'' I said.

''I just did.'' he said, still fiddling.

''What's wrong Bill, you've been miserable all week. You haven't shown it, but I know something's wrong.'' I said and he knew he'd been caught. He looked at me and his eyes were sad.

''It's Mandy.'' he said and I gestured for him to go on.

''She had a date tonight.'' he continued.

''Yes with that Alex guy right?'' I asked and Bill nodded sadly.

''So you're upset because she went on a date? Come on Bill, she's allowed to have a life.'' I said.

''You're so blind sometimes. I'm not upset because she has a date, I'm upset because of who she had a date with.'' he said.

''You don't like the guy? So tell her.'' I said, shrugging.

''You're so far off!'' Bill yelled, clearly frustrated.

''Then just say what you mean Bill cause you're not being very specific!'' I yelled back, just as frustrated as him.

''I like her Tom! I like her a lot!'' he yelled and everything clicked.

''Oh.'' was all I could think of to say.

''Yea.'' he said, fiddling with his headphones again.

''But she doesn't- she's with him.'' I said, not quite sure how to put the sentence together.

''Yea I know, it's a lost cause.'' he muttered.

''I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you think it's a lost cause, maybe you should move on if it's beating you up this much.'' I said. Mandy was a great friend, but I couldn't stand to see my brother so upset.

''Yea I know.'' was all he said.