Until You Feel It

''Now Mandy, I know our relationship was a little bumpy before, but I've taken some time and I think I can forgive you for what you did.'' Alex said.

''What I did? Alex you left me there!'' I said and he looked as though he was trying to keep calm.

''You forgave me for that remember?'' he asked through gritted teeth, his hand flexing around the knife.

''Yes I remember.'' I said quietly.

''Good.'' he said. As he took another drink, I looked to the door, wondering what my odds were of making it to the door without being stabbed.

''You're thinking about it again aren't you?'' Alex asked, his eyes enraged.

''No! I wasn't!'' I defended.

''Yes you were! I trusted you Amanda! And you were going to try and leave me!'' Alex said, getting up, knife in hand.

''You know, I tried to make you comfortable, but you've left me no choice!'' he called from the kitchen.

He came back out with a piece of rope and a roll of duct tape in his hands.

''What are you doing Alex?'' I asked as he set the duct tape down on the table.

''I told you Mandy, I don't want you to leave.'' he said, taking both of my hands and putting them together.

''Alex, I'm not going to leave.'' I said, trying to sound convincing.

''I'm sorry Mandy, but I can't trust you anymore.'' he said as he tied the rope around my hands. He'd clearly never been a boy scout with the way he fumbled with the knot, but I tried not to take too much notice considering that his knot tying skills, or lack thereof, might be an invaluable tool in my escape.

''You can Alex, I promise.'' I lied and he sighed.

''I'm tired of your lying!'' Alex said, anger filling his tone.

''I'm sorry.'' I said.

''No you're not, otherwise you wouldn't have lied.'' he said.

''I really am!'' I defended.

''You're lying!'' he yelled and his right hand collided hard with my cheek and I cried out in pain.

''Are you going to lie anymore?'' he asked and I shook my head, tears building in my eyes from the pain on my cheek.

''Now-'' he started, but was cut off by a knock at the door.

''Don't say anything.'' he whispered, his eyes angry again and I nodded.

He went to the door and opened it. The deadbolt was still open from my earlier escape attempt and I knew that if there was going to be any chance of me getting out, or anyone else in for that matter, it would have to stay that way.

''Hi Eden.'' Alex said.

''Hey Alex, is Mandy here?'' she asked.

''Yea, after dinner we got to talking and we decided to watch a movie. She meant to call, but she said you'd understand.'' Alex said. Eden would know that was a lie, I always called.

''Can I talk to her for a second?'' Eden asked.

''Actually she's in the bathroom, I'll tell her you came by though.'' he said.

''Alright, I'll see her later.'' she said.

''Bye.'' Alex said and then closed the door.

He had his hand over the deadbolt and I knew I had to do something to distract him. I reached up to the table and knocked my glass to the floor, shattering it and spilling water everywhere.

''Why did you do that?'' he asked, anger returning to his face.

''I was thirsty.'' I whispered, hoping it would stick. His face softened as he walked back to the table, leaving the deadbolt open.

''You should have said so.'' he said, his deranged smile returning to its spot on his lips.

Alex went to the kitchen in search of a towel and I looked down to the knot that was tied around my hands. I pulled at one end and the entire knot virtually came apart. I tucked the rope back underneath, making it look as though it was still intact.

''I'm sorry I broke your glass Alex.'' I said as he started to clean up the mess on the floor.

''It's alright, accident happen.'' he said, smiling up at me.

Alex went back into the kitchen and I heard the glass fall into the sink.

''But you're going to have to make it up to me.'' he said, walking towards me.

He stood in front of me and leaned towards my face, his lips coming towards mine. Before he could make contact, I turned my head and his lips connected with my cheek instead. Even though for all I knew Bill never wanted to see me again, I couldn't find it in myself to be unfaithful to him like that, I just couldn't.

''Why did you do that?'' Alex yelled, fuming.

''Because I love Bill!'' I yelled back and his hand collided hard with my face again.

''No you don't!'' Alex yelled.

''Yes I do!'' I screamed and Alex hit me again.

''You left him! He's selfish! You don't love him!'' he shouted.

''I love him! I love him! I love him!'' I screamed, knowing damn well that Alex was going to hurt me again, but he had told me not to lie.

Alex hit me again, this time sending me off my chair and my shoulder collided painfully with the floor.

''Look what you made me do!'' he said, his tone saying that he genuinely deemed this as my fault.

''Amanda, you don't love him.'' Alex whispered, kneeling beside me. He reached out a hand to touch my cheek and I jerked my head away.

''Yes I do.'' I stated and he grabbed a handful of my hair, lifting my head off the ground.

''No you don't.'' he seethed.

''Yes I do.'' I whispered and he dropped my head back onto the hardwood floor. My eyes welled up with tears again. My entire right side hurt from the fall, and now my head was pounding.

''Amanda, how can we be together if you're going to have feelings for someone else? It just wont work!'' Alex said, standing up and pacing a bit.

He walked back over to me. He grabbed my arm and my opposite shoulder painfully tight and jerked me back up onto my chair.

''We'll just have to take him out of the picture then wont we?'' Alex said and my heart stopped.