Until You Feel It

''Mandy!'' we all said in unison except for Bill, he stayed silent though his eyes lit up at the sound of her voice.

''Hi guys.'' She said, a weak smile stretching across her pale lips.

''I'm so glad you're ok!'' I said, finding her hand and squeezing it.

''Me too.'' she said and we chuckled a bit.

''How are you feeling?'' Georg asked.

''I'm fine. The real question is how are you guys?'' she asked as her eyes flickered to each of our no doubt worried and tired faces. She lingered on Bill's face. His was by far the saddest face in the circle, but he was still yet to say anything to her.

''Tired.'' Gustav answered truthfully before any of us could tell her we were 'fine'.

''Why didn't you sleep?'' she asked, sounding like a concerned mother.

''Hospital waiting room chairs are not the most comfortable places to sleep.'' Tom said with a slight grin and Mandy scowled a bit.

''You're been here the whole time?'' she asked.

''Did you think we were just going to leave you?'' I replied and the scowl on her face vanished.

''I love you guys.'' she said, tears starting to build in her eyes.

''Clearly, we love you more.'' I said and she smiled.

It was silent for a minute as her eyes once again roamed each of our faces. She once again stopped at Bill. Both of them had an identical longing in their eyes and it was obvious that they needed to talk. As much as it pained me to leave her, I had to do this for her.

''Let's go uh, get breakfast guys.'' I said, starting to push the three other boys away from her bed.

At first they looked like they were going to object, but I glared at them and they all started to move.

''I'm not hungry.'' Bill said, the first words he'd said since we had gotten in here.

''We'll be back soon.'' I said, squeezing Mandy's hand once more and I knew that she knew what I was doing. She mouthed a 'thanks' and I nodded as I continued to push the boys out of the room.

*~Bill's Point of View~*

Eden had just gotten everyone else out of the room, leaving just Mandy and me. I swear that sometimes Eden could read my mind.

I knew what I wanted to say to Mandy, the how was what I was having trouble with. I thought back to the day when she had told me her true feelings for me and decided that I would quote her to make this easier.

''I need to say something and it would be better if you didn't say anything until I finished.'' I said and she smiled a bit, remembering when she had said that to me.

''Mandy, I'm so sorry about what happened, everything that happened. I shouldn't have pushed you like I did the other night, I knew how much you loved me and I was being selfish asking you to leave like that. Last night, seeing you like that and then waiting to find out if you were going to be ok, it was absolute torture, like someone had ripped me in half. That's what you are Mandy, you're my other half and even though I know that my life would never be the same without you, I never want to push you like that again. I love you.'' I said, putting one hand gently on the side of her face.

Her eyes welled up with tears and for a minute I wondered if I had said something wrong, but then she leaned her face into my hand as a faint smile crossed her face. She slowly raised her hand to her face and put it on top of mine.

''Bill, you know how much you mean to me. You opened my eyes to how amazing my life could be if I had the right person in it. I love you more than you know and you know I would follow you to the ends of the earth, just not right now.'' she said, looking pained as she said the last few words but unable to deny me the truth.

She would go back to Germany with me eventually, just not yet. This was new hope for me, hope that eventually I would get to have her in my life again and my heart seemed to beat with new a purpose, Mandy.

''I love you.'' she repeated and then turned her face so that she could touch her lips to the palm of my hand.

''I love you too.'' I said and then leaned over the rail on the side of her bed towards her face, gently pressing my lips against hers. As our lips touched, her heart monitor beeped a few extra times and she blushed a faint shade of red as I looked at her questioningly.

''It's what you do to me.'' she said, staring into my eyes as if she never wanted to look anywhere else.