Until You Feel It

''Stop changing the damn channel!'' I said as Georg flipped through the channels so fast I couldn't even tell what was on.

''Sorry! I'm trying to find something interesting.'' he said, continuing to fly through the channels.

''It might be easier to find something if you weren't going through them at light speed!'' I said and he laughed and then exaggeratedly pushed the 'channel up' button very slowly.

''Not that slow.'' I said rolling my eyes and he grinned.

''Don't you think you should give Mandy control of her own TV?'' Eden asked.

''Nope.'' Georg said and I laughed.

It had been almost three days since I woke up to the faces of the five people who meant the most to me and they had been here since. Eden, Tom, Gustav, and Georg had all left at some point to go home and change or sleep, but Bill had been here every second.

He still felt bad about everything that had happened. No matter how many times I told him that it wasn't his fault or that I forgave him, he still refused to let it go. I didn't blame Bill for what had happened, I blamed Alex.

Despite what my current condition said, Bill had saved me. Had he not shown up Alex probably would have killed me. Even after Alex stabbed me, having Bill there made such a difference. If it hadn't been for him telling me that he forgave me and his arms wrapped tightly around me, I might not have been able to fight so hard.

He was sitting beside me now, having dragged a chair halfway across the room so that he could sit close to me. He was holding my hand and tracing shapes on the back of it.

Every time I so much as sneezed he made sure that I was ok, an almost panicked look crossing his face. I told him to relax and that I was fine. I could understand where he was coming from though; everyone was shaken after the other night.

''Here's your dinner Miss.'' the woman who drove the food cart said as she put a tray of covered food onto the table next to me.

Because it was still so soon after my surgery, I was on strictly liquids and jello. By this point, I really hated jello.

''Yay.'' I said sarcastically and my friends laughed.

''What do we have today?'' I asked more to myself as I lifted the lid off of the big bowl. A strong aroma of tomatoes floated out of the newly uncovered bowl and I dropped the lid back down. I didn't like tomatoes.

''Pass me that jello.'' I sighed. Even though the jello wreaked havoc on my gag reflex, I was still hungry.

As I pulled off the top and started to eat my horrid green jello, my friends watched me like they were expecting me to choke on my spoon.

''Guys, I got stabbed, I'm not brain dead.'' I said and they all seemed to wince at the reminder but smiled all the same at the fact that I didn't want them to worry.

As I finished my jello, there was a light knock at the door and then my doctor came in.

''Hello Doctor Collins.'' I said cheerfully and he smiled at me.

''How are you feeling today Amanda?'' he asked as he made his way to the side of my bed.

''Itchy.'' I said and he chuckled.

''The morphine does that to you, I'll see if I can get you something for it.'' he said as he looked over that chart at the end of my bed.

''Other than that?'' he asked.

''Great.'' I said with a smile and he returned it.

''I just need to check you out and then I'll be on my way.'' he said as he switched places with Bill.

I hated this part. Because the wound was on my back, I had to turn over in order for him to see it. Eden stood opposite the doctor and held her hand out. I grabbed both of her hands and she helped pull me onto my side and stay there. It hurt so much to stretch like this, but it was the only way.

Doctor Collins undid the lowest tie on my nightgown and as he let my gown fall, exposing my back and half of my butt –the hospital had something against me wearing underwear for the time being- I saw Bill glare at the other three guys and the all diverted their attention to the TV.

''That's going to be a nasty scar.'' Eden noted as the doctor examined my mark.

''Thanks for reminding me.'' I muttered and she grinned.

''I mean, it can't get any worse, that thing's nasty!'' she continued.

''Shut up Eden.'' I said and she laughed a bit.

''Everything looks ok here, just try not to move too much or you'll pull your stitches.'' Doctor Collins said as he re-tied my nightgown.

''Now that would be cool!'' Eden said and I narrowed my eyes at her.

''Apparently not.'' she said, rolling her eyes and I laughed.

''Amanda needs some rest, maybe you lot should go home and do the same.'' the doctor suggested.

''I'm not going.'' Bill answered just like he had every time someone had suggested that he go home.

''Bill…'' I trailed off but he knew what I was going to say.

''I'm not going.'' he repeated and I sighed. Even though I wanted him to go home and rest, I couldn't help but feel loved when he was so adamant about staying.

''Well, we'll see you tomorrow morning.'' Eden said as she and the other boys headed for the door.

''See ya'.'' I said and they left.

''You're tired.'' Bill said as a yawn escaped my mouth.

''Maybe.'' I yawned.

''Go to sleep Mandy.'' he said although it sounded more like an order.

''Maybe just for a little.'' I said as my eyes fell closed.

''I'll be here when you wake up.'' Bill cooed and then kissed the top of my head.

''Kay.'' I sighed and heard him chuckle lightly before I drifted off to sleep.