New Moon Eyes

"Gabe!"

One word and already I was aware that something was far out of the ordinary. Maybe it was the tone of his voice - the pure excitement as he launched his entire body toward me without a second thought flitting through his mind. Maybe it was the fact that every single light in the house had been switched on, and the golden glare made me squint. Maybe it was the fact that I could see perspiration glistening on his forehead. Maybe it was the fact that the music was pounding through our skin and veins as he threw his arms around my neck and buried his head deep into my shoulder.

"Hey," was all I could choke out in a voice combed with confusion. Unsure of what to do, I let him cling to me for a few seconds before trying to wriggle out of his grip. Never had he held on so tight in his life.

"Brendon," I mumbled in his ear with the slightest hint of humour. "Let go."

He blatantly ignored me and began to pull me away from the front door. I kicked it shut just in time as I realised that he had forgotten it was even open.

His hands slipped down - one grabbed my wrist and guided it to his waist, while the other's fingers intertwined with mine, stretching my arm out horizontally.

"Dance with me!" A flurry of giggles followed, emitting from the fervent smile of a Cheshire cat.

I gulped; judging on the position, he wanted me to foxtrot. I couldn't comprehend his motives. Since when did Brendon want to foxtrot? And since when did he expect me to lead?

In a matter of seconds he was sweeping me around the room with enthusiasm. The fact that my hand was on his waist meant nothing to him. He just wanted to move, no matter who was guiding who.

He swung this way and that, spinning us in uncoordinated circles. He stretched away from me and twirled beneath my arm, his breathing coming in short puffs.

Ten minutes in, I began to speak out. "Bren, I'm getting tired. Let me sit down!" I wrenched my hand out of his and slipped away, until I was standing behind the couch. He had instantly stopped dancing, and was now gazing at me with his head tilted slightly to the left.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I'm happy," he replied, the corners of his lips curling.

"You're not happy, you're insane. Your eyes are fucking huge."

The smile grew larger. "I'm happy."

He was staring at me, and it was true. His pupils were dilated and soaked his irises in the dominating coal-black. They looked like the new moon.

"What did you do?"

"You aren't going to leave, are you, Gabe?"

Taken aback, my brow creased. "When did I ever say I was leaving?"

He spoke in a matter-of-fact voice. If anyone else had said it they probably would have said it in a sad tone - almost longing. But it was a simple statement of facts combined with the grin that was lacking in its past intensity, purely because what he said was not meant to be happy either. "You always leave."

"I don't live here."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Why is that?"

There wasn't a pause - there was no sign of hesitance what-so-ever. This wasn't the Brendon I was used to. Brendon thought things through before he said them. He didn't just throw words out there that he thought would come back to bite him in the ass later.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."

The new moons were staring at me. He was running toward me - I could already sense that he was full of energy. Full to the brim. He clambered up onto the back of the couch until he was kneeling on the top, but his head was on my chest and his hands were on my waist. His fingertips crawled up the back of my shirt and grazed my back.

"Stay forever," he begged.

"Brendon, what is wrong with you? What did you do? You're not acting normal."

"Forever," he repeated. He held me even tighter. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if he had to focus his energy to soak up every piece of who-knows-what.

"Did you take something?"

"I see stars!" Brendon giggled. "Lots of stars! Everywhere and anywhere and all over the place!"

"Your eyes are closed, it's just your retina --"

"You're full of stars, Gabe."

"What did you take?"

"Let's look at the sun."

"It's nine o'clock at night, Bren. What did you take?"

He merely sighed contently and snuggled in closer, wrapping his fingers up in the material of my shirt, clutching almost tight enough to rip it.

Finally, he said, "remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Remember when you decided to live with me?"

I just mumbled, "that hasn't happened yet."

He shrugged, and I felt his shoulders jerk. "So? It's a memory from the future."

"That's not a memory."

"That's what you think."

The confidence - that's what was so strange. His new moon eyes staring into mine combined with the Cheshire grin and strong words of that's what you think and let's dance. His bold hands against my hips. Usually he only consisted of insecurities. He was frightened of getting too close in case I shoved him away. He questioned every action I made. He was suspicious every time I told him I loved him.

Even when I tried to kiss him for the first time he was skeptical. Though my face had been inches from his he was still constantly muttering are you sure and you don't have to do it just to make me feel better. I wanted to, he was just so doubtful he couldn't grasp the concept of someone else actually wanting him.

This was different.

I was positive he had taken something.

"I love you, Gabe." A husky voice entwined with excitement as his fingers tried to roam everywhere at once. His lips on my neck just because he felt he could. Another heavy dose of intimacy.

I closed my fingers around his wrists and pulled his hands away from me. His baby-doll eyes stared up at me looking bewildered.

"This isn't you," I mumbled as I took a step back. He lost his balance and flopped back onto the couch, his knees bent at an awkward angle up in the air, but he was back up within a few seconds.

I was already halfway to the door by the time he was looking at me.

"Gabe, where'ya going? Gabe? Gabe - come back!"

I flipped the door shut behind me and started down the hallway without a sign of hesitation. I wasn't willing to be near him when he was like this - someone else. I didn't know who he was. He looked like Brendon, but he had adopted someone else's personality. Whoever that someone was, I didn't like them.

"No! Gabe, come back! Please!"

I could hear his yells echoing up the hallway behind me. They surrounded me and engulfed me, and within them I could hear the slightest hint of the real Brendon surfacing again. That desperation. He thought I was going to leave forever and never come back like he always thought. He was questioning me. He was back.

"Gabe!"

He was crying now; he was that afraid. That much terror flooded through his veins.

I gave in and turned around, seeing him standing in the doorway with the bottom of his shirt all bunched up in his fingers. Tears already framed his eyes and were running down his cheeks and neck. His collar was choked with salt.

"You're going to leave me." I could almost hear him gulp from where I was standing.

"C'mere." I held out my arms and he instantly threw himself into me, so far I thought he'd disappear.

"I'll do anything, anything, anything..." he mumbled into the crook of my shoulder, squeezing even tighter.

All I wanted was to never see those new moon eyes again.