Too Proud to Breathe

The sound of the loud mumbles sent continues pounds throughout my head, making it tremendously painful. I instantly squeezed my eyes tighter together and clutched my hand securely to my head, hoping that it would take away the ache. A loud gasp escaped my lips, the mumbles immediately stopped and footsteps could be heard coming towards the room I was in. I painfully managed to open my eyes and saw the school nurse and Michael standing in front of me. The nurse’s persona portrayed her calmness in the situation. However Michael showed exactly the opposite, although it was obvious that he was trying to hide his emotions behind a mask.

“Are you alright, dear?” The soft, soothing voice of the nurse pierced through the silence that had overcome us.

“Yes thank you, ma’am,” I mumbled quietly. The situation was extremely awkward as Michael stood uncomfortably in the corner of the room and the nurse stood over the nurse’s bed that I had been placed on.

“You took an awfully hard fall out there in the lunch hall. It was extremely kind of the young gentleman to carry you all the way here,” the nurse said, appraising Michael’s actions.

A sense of confusion filed my mind, with the constant thought flying through my head over and over again. Why had Michael, of all people, carried me to the nurse’s office? At the words that the nurse had said, Michael averted his eyes to the floor and started shuffling his feet ineptly, with his hands in his pockets.

“Well, it was nothing really. Most people would have done it; I was just the nearest, strongest person,” Michael whispered, trying to justify his actions in a way that would make it seem that he didn’t intend to help. But I knew differently. I knew that Taylor and all of his friends were the closest people to me, Michael was sitting with all of his friends who were situated at the same table Daisy, who I knew had done it, was. Yet, it appeared he didn’t want me to know that he was in the least bit showing that he cares about me, in some way or another.

After another excrusiating 20 minutes of the school nurse checking to see if I had any simptoms to show that my extent of injury was worse than it was, which it was not, she proceeded to guilt trip Michael to take me home. Of course, he lived in the same house so it was the easiest choice, but I think the thing that made him agree to do this was because he was in the spotlight, and if he were to just say ‘no’ then he might be perceived as a bad person.

This is what I was contemplating as we walked silently into the abandoned carpark and ambled gradually to Michael’s car, both obviously awkward at the fickleness of our situation.

“So, ermm, you can sit up front if you want, but I, er, understand if you dont want to,” Micahel stuttered in my direction, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. If I were not the one who he was directing this statement to I most probably laugh, it was so unnatural to see narcissistic, egotistical Michael nervous and bashful.

“Okay, thankyou.” Was all that my mouth would allow me to burble, just before I slid myself into the passanger seat, next to Michael.

To say the car ride was awkward would be an understatement. Michael and I had never seen eye to eye and so the sudden tranquility emitting itself in the moving car felt unnerving and slightly peculiar. I started to miss our usual arguments and resentment towards each other; anything would be less agonising than the awkward stillness in the air, just the sound of our steady breathing dicharging a sound. I just had to break this silence.

“Thankyou again. You know, for taking me to the nurse and all. But, er, urm, w-why did you do it? If you don’t mind me asking.” My eyes found their way to my lap, fixated on my hands which I had been wringing together since I had asked this question. It seemed that whenever I was nervous, my eyesight would somehow find it’s way downwards and away from anyones vision.

“Why? Do you think I’m that much of a dick that I wouldn’t take you to the nurse. Really, it was only because it made me look good, and, well, lets be honest, who would touch you anyway.” And again the cocky persona springs up. Atleast he was nice for a little while, I thought before feeling the car slow down to a steady stop outside Michael’s and I’s house.

“Do you mind getting the fuck out of my car?” Michael seethed in a harsh tone, harsher than normal. “Oh and Daisy’s coming round today, so just stay out of our way. Go out with your demented friends or whatever losers like you do.” Michael suddenly unbuckled my seatbelt, unlocked my door and pushed me out of it, onto the sidewalk before speeding off, most probably back to school or something. Who knows.

Michael’s behaviour always has a way of confusing me. One minute he would be kind to me, well as kind as someone who hates you could be then he would suddenly change into his normal conceited self.
Once I reached my room, I took off my shoes and threw myself onto the bed. The comfy of the sheets lulling me into a deep sleep.

Michael’s point of view
Argh. Why can’t she just leave me alone. I do something nice for her and yet she questions my motives. Although, I know I shouldn’t have been so harsh to her but then I also know I shouldn’t let myself get to close to her; I made a promise long ago to not let her get under my skin.