Too Proud to Breathe

We danced like this for what seemed like an eternity before Taylor pulled away and asked if I wanted a drink. He hurried of to get one, leaving me alone in a sea of people who I didn’t really know. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see one of Daisy’s clones standing in front of me; arms cross and a look of disgust placed firmly on her make-up ridden face. She had a low cut top on that left not a lot to the imagination and had a short mini skirt the size of a big belt on to match. Her name was Stacey.

“Like, why the fuck are you still hanging on Taylor? He doesn’t even like you,” she sneered out, looking me up and down before letting a sound of revulsion escape her lips. A new confidence took over me. I had once been close friends with Stacey, before my parents died and before looks and lack of personality mattered, so I wasn’t as scared of her as I was of some.

“Oh, that’s funny, Stace, but it looked like he likes me from the way he’s been treating me all day,” with this I placed a look of triumph on my face and mirrored her stance, crossing my arms in front of my chest too.

“Well, he’s just playing you like a fool. He’s Daisy’s cousin, why would he like you when he’s always been around Daisy and her friends. He’s part of the gang, the same gang that thinks you’re a poor excuse for a human and need to go, like, fucking kill yourself or something already. He likes me, he will be mine.” With this said she marched away from where I stood, my mouth hung open. But what she said had started to sink in.

She’s right, I thought, he’s not really interested in me. I’m ugly, all of his friends hate me, and he’s just with me for pity. Tears traced down my face.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened to me, oh no, this was the 4th. People always thought it’d be funny to ‘toy with the little geeky girl who lives with Michael’. They all had emotionally hurt me, but the 4th one, Brian, decided to take it a step further. He used to slap me and hit me. But I truly believed he loved me. Until he humiliated me in front of everyone at a party. He got me to admit that I loved him, just for him to laugh in my face and call me all the names under the son and tell me he wished to never see me again. No, I didn’t count any of these as real boyfriends, and I just wasn’t ready to let another boy who could potentially be just like the others.

I manuvered my way out of all the people in the living room and in the hall and made my way upstairs. I opened the door to my room only to come face to face with a naked Michael and Daisy. They both were having sex in my bed, and hadn’t even noticed me come in. I slammed the door shut and went into the bathroom, locking the door. I slid down the wall till I was on the floor, crying from all the stress.

I just kept repeating in my head ‘one more year and Michael’s out of here and I’m going travelling. I just have to survive till then.’