Constant Headache

Headache

“Do you know who did this to you?” The doctor asked as he scribbled down a prescription for pain medications on his tiny blue notepad. His dark brown eyes had been closely examining everything on my body all night long, and it was starting to make my skin crawl. I wasn’t some charity case; I didn’t need his fake anger and sincerity. I know what happened to me, I know why it happened, and I know who did it. I wasn’t some pathetic little victim.

In all respects, I consider that fight a win on my part.

The doctor snapped his fingers causing my thoughts to break and my eyes to snap back to his, causing a small pulse in my head. The fact that he snapped at me like some small child made the vein in my forehead become visible as the anger I had been feeling since I was practically born started to pulse.

“Please don’t snap at me, I am not an animal.” I breathed as the man in the coat stood up and flashed me an apologetic smile before turning to the counter and sighing. “I’m tired, can I please go home?” I tried to sound nice despite the fact I was speaking through gritted teeth.

He paused for a moment, staring at me before he nodded slowly and grabbing the two slips of blue paper from the counter and holding them up in front of me. Pointing to the first one, he informed me that I needed to get a prescription filled for painkillers to help with my ribs and basically everything else that was beat up on my body, and then he pointed to the other and sucked in a long breath. He informed me that this was just a reminder to keep my knuckles bandaged because the lacerations on them were pretty severe, and since so much skin was removed, I couldn’t risk getting them infected.

With a simple nod, the doctor stared at me for another minute, practically begging me to confess who did this to me. When I kept my mouth shut, he nodded and then informed me that I was free to go after I signed some papers with the nurse at the front window.

A part of me wanted to ask what would happen if I didn’t sign the papers, but as soon as I stood up and felt how badly my body pulsed even with one of the pills in my system, I decided to save my unnecessary rebellious attitude for another time.

“Do you have anyone that can take you home, Ms. Stone?”

“Me, myself, and I.” I stated bluntly and gave the doctor a nod as a thank you and then shuffled past him and into the hallway right near the lobby of the Emergency Room.

Once I was near the nurse that had helped me back into the room and got me to see a doctor almost immediately, I let out a small sigh to let her know I was there, and watched as she looked up at me and smiled widely.

“Oh hun, you look so much better, how ya’ feelin’ darling?” Her crystal blue eyes sparkled under the normal harsh lighting of the hospital.

Somehow, I cracked a smile towards her. “I feel okay, thanks for before.” I internally cringed when I was finished speaking. I don’t think I had ever said thank you to so many people I didn’t know in such a short amount of time.

I didn’t like it.

“Great! Sign these for me, and then your-“

“Hey”, a familiar deep voice tore through my mind that I had managed to set at ease nearly five minutes ago and overturned nearly every little thought that I had. My body tensed, my eyes widened, and all I could do was hold the blue pen that the nurse had handed me and turn toward him, confusion blanketing my features.

Instead of speaking, I simply blinked and then gave him a very small nod, then turned back to the papers and with a rapid heartbeat, scribbled my name in a few places and double checked to make sure my insurance was covering everything. When I noticed it was, and I didn’t need to try to pay or half of the visit, I informed the nurse that she should have a good night, or however good of a night you can have working these hours in the ER, and then turned to the man that informed me would never appear in my life story every again.

Clearly he wasn’t a man of his word.

Shuffling over to the door, he quickly pushed it open and let the cool air beat against our faces. Dragging my eyes from the asphalt, they connected on the light pastel swirls of color that were starting to show as the sun started to peek up over the horizon line of the city.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I whipped my head around, ignoring the consequences, and gripped the things in my good hand tightly in hopes it would alleviate some of the pain that was rushing through my body. “Like… Just… What the fuck?”

“Your attitude is the best one I had ever encountered.” His voice was tired, as well as his huge doe-like eyes. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Yeah, and I usually punch them in the face for it.” I snarled and watched as he glanced over at me, making sure I was alright walking, and the looked straight ahead and focused his eyes on the flashing lights of his SUV parked in the same spot it was in when he dropped me off.

I wanted to badger him with questions and scream and yell at him for being so weird and creepy. I wanted to just take off in the other direction and start the extremely long walk back to my car parked on the side of the road, but with every time I filled my lungs with air, I could feel the pain rushing through me, and if I did try to walk, I would die about halfway there.

When we reached his car, he opened the door for me and went to help me get in when I managed to hook my hand onto the handle on the inside of the car and pull myself up and into the seat. As the brunette took a moment to admire my strength, he shut the door, rounded the car, and then slid into the driver’s side chair.

For the ride back to my car, I ignored the man for the most part. I tried not to look over at him, breathe heavily or too little, or groan when I shifted my torso the wrong way and bothered my ribs. I didn’t want him to ask questions because he didn’t need to know my business, no matter how entitled he thought he was because he helped me out.

“You okay to drive?” He asked as we entered the side streets about five minutes from where my car was parked.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay”, I could hear him roll his eyes in his voice, and it made me angry.

“You know you give off the ‘find half dead girls and nurse them back to health to kidnap them and keep them in my basement to fuck or eat’ vibe, right?” I smiled when I noticed a small vein in his forehead appear.

“Oh, I never got that I was like a serial killer before.” He tried to play it off with an angry smile. “I would ask if anyone has ever referred to you as a crack whore, but I’m sure they’re not too far off, huh?”

My good fist clenched and slammed into my leg causing the man to whip his head to the side and stare at me. “Stop the fucking car right now.” I demanded with a raspy voice. “I don’t fucking need you and this shit.” I felt the burn in my throat as I gritted my teeth together. I wanted to claw at the man’s face but instead I dug my broken fingernails into my leg and tried to even my breathing. The doctor specifically said to not cry or laugh too much.

I said neither were a problem, but that was before this fuck-boy showed up again.

“Fuck you, let me out of the damn car.” My voice was level, but it was clear I was about to lose it.

As the car pulled over to the side of the road, the man placed his hand on my knee and then quickly locked the door as I tried to get out. He told me he was just angry, he didn’t mean it, and all of the other apologetic shit, but I couldn’t pay attention to him. All I could do was replay his words over and over again, all I could do was think back to how stupid I was, how stupid everyone was, and what happened because of it.

I felt them. The tears I had been so desperately trying to hold back. They were clouding my vision now, ready to fall the moment I blinked my eyes again. When I realized this, I clenched my jaw, trying my hardest not to blink despite the pain that was now stinging my wet eyes. I never cried. I never showed much emotion to any subject, I watched my friends die, I watched my brother die, I watched my whole family grieve him, grieve me, and I never shed a tear.

With a sharp inhale; my eyelids slowly fluttered shut and reopened, allowing a few tears to slip out of my eyes. I hated myself in this moment. I hated that I was crying in front of this man who I didn’t even know. I hated that I let this fight escalate so much, that I hurt my body this much and for what?

Revenge?

Knocking teeth out wasn’t revenge. Knocking teeth out was nothing compared to killing someone.

“Hey, Ryder, look at me, I’m-“

With a short inhale, I pulled my arm back and with whatever I could muster slapped my hand across the man’s face, letting the loud sound of skin on skin fill the car. As the initial shock paralyzed him for a moment, his face now directed in a different angel, I placed my things in my lap, used my good hand to pull the small knob to unlock the car, and then pulled the handle and kicked the door open.

Slipping from the leather seat, I let out a small yelp of pain as I stumbled onto the curb and caught myself against the fence to the abandon lot on the other side. Pressing my shoulder into the chain linked fence, I tightly gripped my wallet and cell phone and started walking down the sidewalk in the direction of my car, the soles of my boots scuffing against the sidewalk, filling the deathly silence around me.

When I didn’t hear footsteps echo from behind me, I let the few tears that were clouding my vision fall down my cheek. I hated myself for crying over this. I hated myself for being so stupid and passionate about hurting people that hurt me, but it was something I couldn’t get over. It was in my blood, it was a disease that was passed down from my mother, a disease I couldn’t shake for the life of me.

Ever since I was thrust into the world of interacting with other people, I was a rebel of sorts. I didn’t like authority, I didn’t like people making fun of me or joking with me. I used my fists instead of my mouth and it usually got me into situations like tonight. I was a short fused mess, and I had been since my first fistfight in the second grade where I knocked out someone’s front teeth for telling me I looked like a boy.

Although my parents hated that I was so belligerent, they knew whom I got it from, and they knew it was going to be like that for the rest of my life. They tried anger management, they tried burning incense and doing a family meditation, but it never worked. I always had a vendetta out for someone. I was always angry.

“Okay, listen”, my heart nearly stopped as the deep voice broke through my thoughts and caused my body to stop its slow shuffle down the road. As I gasped and felt my back get pressed into the fence, I looked up, tears still rushing down my face, and stared at the man, his eyes filled to the brim with millions of emotions that I couldn’t sort through. “I’m sorry about the comment, and I’m sorry about whatever happened, but you can’t fucking drive when you’re loaded on pain killers and probably suffering a minor concussion.”

“You’re not my father.” I breathed, pushing the tears from my face with the back of my left hand.

“You are a headache, you know that?”

“Constantly, yes.” I responded and looked up at the man, his eyes barreling into mine, as we stood there in silence in the early twilight of the morning. After just staring at each other for a few minutes, the man looked down and then took a step away from me, releasing my wrist from his grasp and running a hand through his slicked back hair.

It was in that moment, where I actually saw the man that had helped me through the night. He was in a pair of jeans and sneakers. A white v-neck hung from his broad shoulders, and his arms were spotted with tattoos and ended in a chain like bracelet. Dragging my eyes up his body, I took careful note of just how muscular he was, and felt my spine shudder as I landed my eyes back on his face, his big eyes darting back to mine as he chewed on his bottom lip and ran another hand through his dark locks.

In all honesty, he looked like a Greaser right out of the movie ‘The Outsiders’, and I couldn’t help but to let my heart flutter for a moment before I shot it back down with my normal rude disposition.

“Can I go the fuck home now?”

Without a word, we walked back over to Jamie’s SUV and got back in. As I placed my head against the window and shut my eyes, I listened as the soft hum of music filled the air, and how the tired would make a different noise every time they drove over a bump. The normal sounds were about to lull me to sleep when I felt my body jolt forward as the car came to a halt.

Letting my eyes open, I turned to the brunette, watching him bite down on his lip in a futile attempt to not say anything. When I gave him a small nod, I opened the car door and sucked in a huge breath as I unhooked my keys from my belt loop and slid out of the seat. Rubbing my eyes, I turned to him, placing my good hand on the door and looked into the car.

His eyes were barreling into mine. I wanted to just stand here for a little longer and let nicer words crawl up from my throat. I really did owe this guy my life. I really could have died if he didn’t come and help me, but I was too stubborn, too prideful to admit that he was the nicest human being I had ever met in this universe.

“Bye”, I breathed, pulling my eyes from his broad shoulders and looking down at my scuffed up combat boots.

“I’m going to follow you. I don’t care where you live, just to make sure you don’t crash.”

Instead of fighting it, I shrugged and slammed the door shut without another word. Breathing heavily in the spotlight of his headlights, I slowly walked over to the drivers side of my Volkswagen GTI and pulled the door open. Fighting back the dizziness in my head as I slid into the drivers seat, I roughly bit the inside of my cheek and shoved the key into the ignition.

Car coming to life and headlights snapping on, I put the car in drive and after a moment of complete amnesia, I remembered my address, where I needed to go, and how to get there.

Turning on the light hum of music pouring in from the radio, I threw my wallet and cell phone onto the passengers seat and then slowly applied some pressure to the gas pedal.

Normally I was someone who drove a little too fast, and to everyone that knew my sparkling personality, they weren’t surprised by my rebellious and unsafe driving habits. Tonight, as my head pounded and the painkillers they gave me started to kick in, I took it slow, checking street lights and signs about four times to make sure I was going the right way.

When I managed to get back to my apartment building twenty minutes later, I pulled up along the curb in front of it. As the headlights of the SUV that had followed me blared through my back window, I felt myself hoping that he would get out of the car and offer me help upstairs. I didn’t really want the help, but the twenty minutes sitting alone with my thoughts gave me ample time to realize that I shouldn’t have treated him so poorly for being a saint in my eyes.

Inhaling deeply, I went to open the drivers side door when I watched the headlights swerve away from the back of my car, and just as I looked out of my window, I watched as the large SUV sped passed me, down the street and made a quick turn onto the main road.

I sat in my car for amount fifteen minutes letting the guilt eat away at my stomach before I reached into my center console, pulled out my pack of cigarettes, and pulled one out. Pushing the door open, I lit the paper between my lips, waited for the end to emit some smoke, and then inhaled deeply, letting the burn fill my head and momentarily erase all of the words that I had wanted to tell that man.

All of the uncharacteristic ‘thank you’s that I had lined up to pour over him with my raspy voice. I knew he wouldn’t accept them, but I guess it didn’t really matter.

Dallas was huge, and there was a ninety-eight percent chance I would never see him again and I was kind of disappointed about that.
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also, thanks to those who commented on the first chapter!
toewsies, MITCHEAE, Dallas., and H_DIZZLE