Constant Headache

We ended up falling asleep on the couch together an hour after we got back to my apartment. I was so exhausted from my hysterics and the beating I had endured earlier in the night that when we laid down on the couch and Jamie wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close to him as possible, I didn’t care.

In fact, I enjoyed the warmth that he gave off.

And in all honesty, it was the best nights sleep I had gotten in my entire life.

Around nine o’clock the next morning I found myself completely awake, staring at the couch as Jamie’s heavy arm rested around the middle of my torso. Instead of throwing it off and waking him up with my cruel words or actions, I simply moved my body into his a little more and put my hand over his, letting the warmth from his body radiate into mine.

It was so out of character for me to enjoy such a close and intimate encounter. It freaked me out a little that I didn’t mind staying in this position for hours, but I didn’t act on it. I didn’t ruin it.

I stayed there for another half hour and once I realized I was not falling back asleep, I carefully lifted his arm, replaced my body with a throw pillow from the couch, and snuck off into the kitchen, throwing my long hair into a tight bun on the top of my head as I rummaged through the fridge and cabinets.

My heart was beating roughly in my chest as I quietly grabbed two bowls from the cabinet and then snatched the box of Captain Crunch form on top of the fridge. Opening the top, I went to pour the colored pieces into the bowl when I glanced back into the living room and felt my body grown warm as I watched the brunette shift a little and then stop, hugging the pillow tightly against his chest.

Eyebrows meeting in the center of my forehead, I carefully walked over to the fridge and opened it, letting my eyes roll over the contents of it, which wasn’t much. There were a few lunch meets, feta cheese, salads, dressings, condiments, and some drinks. Then, on the bottom shelf, there were a container of eggs, with a little red box of taylor-ham on top of it.

Smile forming on my lips, I quickly grabbed the two items out of the fridge and then set them down on the counter near the stove. Lighting one of the burners, I grabbed a skillet from the stove where we kept the few pots we had, an then placed it over the fire.

It took me about a half hour to whip up some scrambled eggs, taylor ham, and toast. I wasn’t sure if the brunette on the couch liked any of these foods for breakfast, but as I walked over to him, all of the items on a dish, I watched as his nose twitched and then after waving the food under his nose a little, his big brown eyes cracked open and landed right on my face.

“Mmm, taylor ham?” He hummed as he rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes, tossing the pillow onto the floor when he realized he was holding onto it.

“I don’t know if you like any of this, but I figured it was a step up from fore feeding you more cereal.” I joked as the brunette sat up and took the plate from my hands, smiling as he ran it under his nose again.

Shaking his head, he leaned back against the couch and set the plate down on his lap, taking a piece of bread and shoving almost half of it into his mouth. “I love breakfast. I love all of it.” He mumbled as he chewed causing a small laugh to pass my lips before me snarky attitude resurfaced.

“Don’t talk with your mouthful, ya’ pig.” I snapped and watched as the brunette looked up at me, stopped chewing, and then smiled, his eyes sparkling as he shook his head a little and then went back to his plate, picking the fork up and stabbing it into a piece of the round meat.

Walking back into the kitchen, I listened as a few shuffled sounded behind me, and then as I turned to the counter to pour myself a bowl of cereal, I watched as Jamie shuffled into the room and sat down at the little table we had set up.

Setting his plate down, he pulled out a chair for himself and sat down, then glanced over at me and grabbed the chair from the other side of the table and pulled it over to his side. Scooting his seat over as far as possible, he pulled out the chair and then looked over at me, sending me a small smile before turning back to his food.

Fighting back the urge to smile too much, I grabbed the vanilla almond milk from the fridge and quickly added it to the dry cereal I had poured myself. Once it was to my liking, I brought the carton of milk and two glasses over to the table, and then grabbed my bowl from the counter with a spoon and sat down.

Sitting so close to the brunette, I could almost feel the heat radiating from his skin like it had during the night. I found it interesting how warm he always was, or how cold I always was despite the consistently warm temperature outside.

“You didn’t have to make me breakfast.” Jamie hummed as he leaned into me a little. “I would have been fine with cereal.”

Shrugging, I took a spoonful of the crunch berries and shoveled them into my mouth, smiling a little as the loud crunch echoed through my head and quite possibly the whole apartment. That was one of my favorite things about this cereal; it stayed crunchy for a really long time no matter how much milk it was sitting in.

After finishing our food in silence, I grabbed the dishes and walked over to the sink. Dropping them into the stainless steal tub, I turned around and leaned against the counter, feeling my heart rate pick up as Jamie looked at me, running his eyes from my bare feet to the top of my head. Cheeks gaining a red tint, he sucked in a small breath and went to speak when I blurted out a question.

“What’s your last name?”

He look started for a minute, but after he noticed the small smile on my face, he nodded and then turned toward me, leaning against the wall as he put his legs up on my empty chair.

“Benn. What’s yours?”

“Smith, where were you born?”

“Victoria, Canada.” He answered and widened his eyes at me as I started to laugh. After my laughter died down, a smirk appeared on his lips as he ran a hand through his messy hair. “What’s so funny, eh?”

Shaking my head, I looked over at him and laughed a little more. “That explains why you’re so fucking nice all of the time.”

Rolling his eyes, Jamie huffed and crossed his strong arms against his chest. “Alright well where are you from?”

“Houston. Have any brothers?”

“I live with him.” He answered and then looked at me for a minute before nodding his head. “Favorite sport?”

“I don’t really have one anymore.” I answered truthfully as I thought back to the sports memorabilia stacked up in my brothers vacant room. “What about you?”

“Hockey.” He responded quickly and I couldn’t help but start laughing at him again. “Predictable, aren’t I?” The brunette smiled at me, making every nerve in my body grow numb under my skin. I didn’t know what it was about him, but just seeing him smile, just hearing him laugh made my stomach knot.

Nodding, I finished laughing and inhaled a deep breath, watching the brunette drag his eyes from his hands, across the kitchen, and over to me. As they criss crossed through my body, I felt the urge to snap at him for making the air so uncomfortable, but as soon as I saw him get up form the chairs and walk over to me, every rude comment I had lined up was silenced.

If that didn’t explain what an effect the tall brunette had on me, then nothing would.

“I’m sorry I’m such a creep.” He whispered, his lips tugging into a half smile as he watched me roll my eyes. “I didn’t mean to awkwardly show up all of the time, you just… You just kind of sucked me in.”

Swallowing hard, I ran my fingers through my hair, tucking a few stray pieces behind my ear, as I looked down at our feet maybe four inches apart. “I guess it was my sparkling personality that you couldn’t get enough of, eh?”

Jamie laughed at his, tilting his head back a little and shaking it as he told me that I was impossible a few times before directing his eyes right back to mine. “You’re not so repulsive right now.”

“I mean if that’s what you get off on, I could spew out some insults and rude comments in no time.” I smirked and watched as the brunette shook his head a little, his eyes never leaving mine.

Our conversation slipped into silence after my words faded. I wanted to keep talking, I wanted to joke around with him and keep the mood between us light and airy, but with those eyes, with his big brown eyes staring at me, I couldn’t speak. All I could think about was his tongue running through my mouth, his lips pressed against mine, and his hands rubbing against my bare skin.

It scared me how badly I wanted him.

I could feel it in my heart, in my stomach, in my fucking bones.

Hands steady, Jamie slipped one of his hands on the side of my face and ran his thumb in a circle against my cheek, still shimmering from the waterfall of tears that has cascaded down my face the previous night.

Swallowing hard, I watched as his eyes shifted from the playful light brown to the serious dark brown that I had witnessed the night he pulled me up from the pavement and took me despite my foul attitude and horrible words to the Emergency Room.

Biting down on his bottom lip, he ran his teeth over his lip until it was out of their grasp. “You know it killed me to watch you walk home like this.”

It was in that minute that I remembered just what had happened to me the previous night. The feeling of his hands on me made me queasy, the pound in my head resurfaced, and I was suddenly aware of the cuts and marks on my body I had received from nearly dying on the bathroom floor of a shitty bar in downtown Dallas.

Nodding, I watched as Jamie moved away from me and grabbed my arm, showing the huge gash that had scabbed over through the night. Blinking hard, I remembered the way my head had hit the tiled floor and the wall behind the sink. I remembered what it felt like to be purely disgusted by someone, to feel violated and angry. I could still feel his calloused hands running across my stomach, I could still feel his eyes on me.

“What happened last night, Ryder.” Jamie asked, his big eyes running from the cut on my arm to the cut on my forehead. “Please tell me this isn’t something that happens a lot.”

I swallowed hard, afraid to speak. I was never afraid to speak, I was never afraid to do anything, but I didn’t want to see those big brown eyes filled with any other emotion that the happiness they held while we ate breakfast. I didn’t want to see him worried about me and I knew telling him any part of my night was going to cause it.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

And he dropped it.

With a nod, Jamie carefully pulled my body into his and rested his head on my shoulder as he took a deep breath and then placed a soft kiss on my neck. As the feeling of his lips on my skin started a fire through my whole body, I took a deep breath, letting the smell of his cologne fill my head, and then bit down roughly on my bottom lip, trying to fight the urge to pull away from him and press my lips to his.

Jamie and I stood in a tight hug for what felt like hours. His chest would rise and fall with his even breathing, and every so often he would shift his weight from one foot to another.

After our embrace was over, he quickly slipped his hands on either side of my face and pressed his lips to mine, inhaling sharply as I reciprocated the same amount of pressure. Holding it for what only felt like seconds, Jamie pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine, making sure not to bother the cut on my forehead.

“Would you go out on a date with me?”

My heart nearly exploded. “Like as friends?”

“Yeah, nothing too serious, just a dinner date.” He responded, his eyes tracing over mine as he started to chew on his bottom lip again.

“As long as I can pay for my half, you have yourself a deal.”

“Done.”



Aidan came home around seven o’clock at night, an hour or so after Jamie had left me with a long hug and a short kiss on the lips. I tried not to let it bother me, I tried not to let him take over my mind, but it was no use. The second he walked out of the apartment, I started to miss him. I missed his stupid smile and laughter, I missed his witty comebacks to my words, and I missed the safe feeling he gave off, the warmth I obtained from being so close to him.

“How are ya’?” Aidan sat down next to me as I poked my fork into my bowl of sautéed spinach and garlic with a random mix of salt and red kidney beans. As he took a sniff of my food, a smile appeared on his face and he flung his arm over the back of the couch behind me. “Smells great.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I breathed as I shoved some of the contents into my mouth and started to chew, keeping my eyes on the swirling colors on the television screen. “How was your time out?”

Nodding, Aidan leaned back into the couch and let out a small yawn before he started talking about her. He talked about the way her hair blew in the wind, the way her nose scrunched up when she laughed and the way her fingers were so soft when she touched him. He compared her to an angel more than a few times.

Her name was Jessica, she was a computer science major in one of his classes, and she had taken a stranglehold on his mind. They were infatuated with each other, he was positive they were soul mates.

“I know it’s only been a week or two, but I can’t imagine not being with her. I’m madly in love with her, Ryder. I don’t think I had ever felt like this before, it’s fucking amazing.” He ended with a lovesick smile on his face.

Nodding, I went to speak about the boy I had been spending my time with when Aidan’s cell phone started to buzz from his pocket. Pulling it up to his face, he smiled and without giving me a second glance, got up and answered the call, singing a girls name into the speaker as he headed down the hall and slipped into his bedroom.

I didn’t see him for the rest of the night.

After finishing my dinner, I walked down the hall and slipped into my bedroom not bothering to even try to see if Aidan was done with his phone call and up to talk. I knew the second I tried to talk to him, he would start talking about her again and although there was some part of me that was happy for him, a larger part of me was just ticked off.

I never knew out close friendship could be knocked down to a thin string in a matter of two weeks. I thought I meant more to him than that.

I guess I was wrong.

For the rest of the night, I took notes on the chapters we were going to start reviewing in class, and constantly checked my phone to see if Jamie had messaged me or not. I didn’t really want to act like a little high school girl with a huge crush, but I literally couldn’t help it.

The brunette had me wrapped around his finger, and it made me sick.

But I didn’t do anything about it.

I just let it happen, I kind of wanted it to happen.

It was refreshing in a way to let someone care about you. I wasn’t used to the feeling of people being concerned about my well-being. I was used to running out in the night and trying to punch guys to make me feel better. I was used to coming into work with bandaged knuckles and a limp. I wasn’t used to caring about it. I wasn’t used to second-guessing my actions, my words, even my thoughts.

Was it worth it? Was changing my rebellious and revenge-crazed view on life worth it for a guy? A guy I really didn’t know everything about yet?

The phone lying next to my head on my pillow buzzed, knocking me out of my thoughts. As I grabbed it and watched his name pop up in the small letters, the ends of my lips twisted up.

Dinner tomorrow night at 6. My place, so dress nice ;)

Nothing like take-out for the first date, eh? I sent back to him, a stupid smile hanging from my lips as I watched the little bubbles appear on the screen to show he was typing.

I’m cooking dinner for us, duhh

I’ll make sure to bring the Pepto-Bismol. I snickered as I hit the send button and watched as the bubbles immediately started moving.

I expect nothing less :P Just as I was about to text back, another message came through. I really can’t wait to see you, sorry if that’s too forward.

Biting down on my lip, I replied it wasn’t and just as I was about to turn my phone off, I watched that grey bubble show up.

Ew, freak.

Shaking my head, I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a long sigh. I don’t know how it happened, or when it happened, or why it happened, but it did.

I fell in love.