The Swan Who Thought She Was a Duckling

The campus was full of people. Some were rushing to a class while others were leisurely walking to the cafeteria, but Jane stood watching it all. She had dreamed of coming away to her parent’s alma mater since she was a young child accompanying them on their homecoming excursions. Even though her parents left high legacies to follow she kept herself in the middle of the crowd. She stared at all of the people walking around to figure out the hierarchy of the campus.

"Hey mama, party at the Sig house tonight. Better see you there." The guy ran off rather quick after telling her the information. She shook her head as she knew her roommate would want to go. Her roommate fit into the party scene more than she did, which kind of made her feel as if she was the small unnoticeable person she could usually be.

Jane scuffled off in her overly large sweatshirt that belonged to her father and cropped yoga pants. She usually wore these things when she wanted to blend in. She sighed as the realization of spending her night peacefully working on her history paper, that isn't due for another two weeks, had been ruined. She pulled her phone out of her overly large purse and pulled up a song on her phone while putting in her headphones.

She quietly stalked into the dorm building and opened the door to her room to find her roommate Ally had clothes thrown everywhere. "What exploded in here?"

"I'm so sorry Jane. The Sigs are having a party, come with me and help me find something to wear?" Jane nodded her head and moved to her side of the room to drop her bag.

They tried on nearly 20 different outfits between themselves before they both settled on high waisted skirts and flowing tops with some gladiator sandals as to not look too dressy but not too dressed down either. Jane decided to curl her long blonde locks whereas her roommate kept hers straight. "You know the sororities all come to check out the potential girls?"

What Ally said was of no surprise to her because her mother had told her they had done it back when she was there. It was actually the same party where she met Jane's father before graduating. Her mother told her many secrets about the sorority she was in with hopes that Jane would one day follow in her footsteps.

With one final look in the mirror on the back of the door and the application of lip gloss the pair left the room. "So where are we going Ally?" Jane had yet to make many friends and did not know what they would do for the next three hours before the party started.

Ally laughed at the absurdity of Jane's question and flipped her long dark hair. "Were going to my brother’s because he's a part of a different fraternity and has tons of friends. We're going to go there and drink for a bit then walk over to the Sig house with them." Jane nodded her head diligently at what Ally said.

Jane had no idea that was what she was doing. She had met Ally's brother briefly when she had moved in. She knew he played on the school's hockey team and many of his friends would be decent looking. She only wished she had worn something that didn't show so much skin now. She had heard the stories of her father and exploiting the women who dressed slutty, she did not want that.

The pair casually walked up the narrow walkway and into the small house that sat off the road a bit. Jane looked over Ally's shoulder to see a room full of about 10 guys with about 4 girls in the room. One of the faces showed recognition and began to walk over toward them with the swagger of a celebrity. "Hey Ally glad you took the offer," he kissed her cheek as he turned to look at Jane, "you must be Jane. Please feel at home here, we’re just a bunch of guys. Beer is in the fridge and liquor is in the freezer." He walked back toward the group in the living room.

Ally and Jane walked into the kitchen where Ally set out to make a screw driver while Jane opened the fridge to look for a light beer. After rummaging through the fridge she found a light colored beer and grabbed a cup from the island. She poured half of the beer into the cup then poured sprite into the cup. She walked out into the living room with the beer and cup in her hand.

Finding an empty bar stool Jane leaned up against the breakfast bar they had and sat down. "Never seen a girl that pretty double fist before." She looked up at the bulky guy with her brow knit together. He laughed a little before setting his own drink down, "you got a beer and a cup full of a drink. You're double fisting."

Surprise crossed her face, "Oh, I didn't even think how it looks. I mix my beer, weird thing I learned in Germany." She whispered looking into her cup rather than the guy she was talking to. She almost continued on until the guy she was sitting beside snatched her cup and tried her beer. She waited for the typical male response to diluting a beer, god’s sacred gift to men.

"Damn that's pretty good. I'm Randy by the way, Ally's brother and I play hockey." She nodded her head at him and smiled. His comment made her wonder if he was trying to make himself sound like a big deal on campus. She never understood that about guys, she never walked up to them and said she played football.

"Well I'm Jane. Can I ask you something?" She looked around the room and saw just how pretty the other girls in the room were compared to her, "why are you talking to me?"

Randy returned the confused look that she held earlier, "you really don't see it do you?" he sighed as he set her beer back down on the counter. “You think you’re that girl who doesn’t even compare to those other girls in the room don’t you?”

Jane nodded her head as she looked up at him sipping on her beer. “Well I strongly suggest you take a picture with all of the girls and then I’ll upload it to my profile and we’ll see just how much attention you bring in.” He stood up wrapped an arm around her and leaned close to her ear, “You’re a lot prettier than you think. The real deal not fake tans and daddy’s money.”

He turned and walked into the living room and sat beside his sister quietly. Jane sat and wondered what his story was. Why did he gravitate toward her instead of the other girls in the room? She knew he was a senior, and the stories his sister had shared made it sound as if he had no problem finding a girl to take home.

She drained the rest of the beer in the bottle and grabbed the solo cup off the counter as she sat beside Ally. The other girls in the room had nothing to worry about in comparison to Jane, she was plain just like her name and seemed to always blend into the crowd unlike her mother. She watched the guys try to appear bigger and stronger when the girls would look their way. A small giggle escaped her lips as she crossed her right leg over her left.

“What’s got you laughing?” She turned to find Ally looking at her with a confused look.

“Watching the guys, they’re trying so hard.” She looked back at Randy and saw him sitting in a chair with a girl trying to push her way into his lap. It was quite the sight, plus he looked highly uncomfortable.

“It is kind of funny, but the sad thing is my brother always looks that disinterested when girls approach him.” Jane turned to find the girl promptly rubbing her ass into his lap as he made direct eye contact with her. “He never really likes the attention because it’s always the trashy girls that try for the hockey team.” she laughed and walked back toward the kitchen.

Jane sat silently drinking her beer as she watched the rest of the guys laugh and joke around. Her head snapped up when she heard many of the guys begin to cheer and form lines on either side of the kitchen table. “We need one more, who’s going to play?” a tall lanky guy who looked as if he didn’t belong among the group shouted.

“Jane can play, can’t you?” Ally looked as if she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Jane shook her head as she walked up to the table and looked at the cups all along the edge of the table. She never played drinking games in high school because she had only gone to two parties in high school. And at those she never ended up drinking.

“What exactly are we playing?” she sheepishly asked looking at all of the guys grabbing different drinks and pouring a little in the cup. She assumed that it would involve drinking what little alcohol was in the cups and some sort of race since the people were dividing into teams very loudly.

Ally turned to her and had a surprised expression covering her face. “It’s called flip cup. You drink what’s in your cup, then you flip your cup over from the edge of the table with just one hand. Then the next person can go, once all members have done that, that team wins. So what’s your poison?”

Jane saw a few of the guys choosing beer instead of hard alcohol. “Can I choose beer?” she looked sheepishly at Ally and tried to hide herself. She never drank the hard stuff, she had seen what happened with her brother. Hard liquor always got the better of you and would eventually create a monster.

“Sure, the guys always put a little more beer in a glass if they choose it but we’ll give you less since you haven’t ever played this before.” The group lined up and the first guys squared off, Ally walked over beside another guy and waited for everyone to start yelling chug.

Jane grabbed her cup and waited for her turn she looked over at Randy, “Don’t let us lose newbie.” He turned his attention to the guy on his left. Jane watched him place the cup to the lips and throw back the liquid and flip the cup over on the first try. “Go Jane!”

She chugged the beer and placed the cup on the edge and lightly flicked her fingers up landing the cup on its side before trying again. She somehow got it on the second try and threw her hands up. “Way to go Jane! We beat you guys!” He threw his hands up in the air and backed away toward the large fridge.

Jane watched him and realized just how stunning he was and how plain she was. It would never work she decided as she went to walk out back. The door opened easily under her fingers and the warm air hit her. She had always found the Tennessee air welcoming this time of year. It was warm and stifling but it always made her smile because the leaves blew with the wind and then they all started to turn lovely colors.

As she stumbled around outside in the dark she found a chair near a small fountain and sat down. The need to get away from the noise seemed more important than having Ally scold her later. “You know the party is inside right?” She knew it had to be Ally’s brother because she’s the only one who would notice she was gone and tell someone to check on her.

“I’m well aware that the party is going on inside. Clearly I came out here for a reason.” she huffed as he sat down on the edge of the fountain.

“Well then tell me why you’re out here then” his eyes searched her face as they sat in silence. Neither one sure what to do since the other one seemed ready to bolt.

“I don’t like parties. I’ve always felt out of place at them. I don’t get trashed, and I end up standing alone.” She sighed as she realized that she probably sounded irrational

“Stick with me and I’ll make sure you’re not alone and I’ll only drink as much as you.” he stuck out his hand to make the deal complete. His eyes showed true concern for making her feel comfortable. He smiled as she took his hand.

Jane stood up and walked toward the pool tucked in the corner of the yard. She slipped her shoes off and sat on the edge of the pool with her feet sticking into the water. “Tell me about hockey, how did you get into a sport that’s more northern than southern?”

He sat down beside her and kicked his feet in the water as well. “Ally didn’t tell you did she?” his voice was soft, showing his vulnerability to her, something she didn’t see often from guys, especially at parties.

She shook her head and looked at his face, “Ally is my half-sister. My dad played hockey professionally, he was around for the first five years of my life. My mom met someone when I was three and married him. My dad didn’t want to compete with someone who could see me every day. Hockey was the only thing of him I had left. Occasionally he shows up to my games and takes me to dinner, but he has a new family now. He doesn’t know how to handle me now because he has two daughters who are seven and nine. I’m not mad or sad about it anymore. It’s gotten me here.” He had a genuine smile on his face as he told her something she assumed many people didn’t know.

“Randy I can’t judge you. My life is far from perfect.” She bumped his shoulder trying to lighten the mood.

The silence put Jane at ease as she sat beside him. She didn’t feel forced or out of place. She figured Randy would be a great friend even though he would graduate this year. “You ever watched hockey?”

“No my dad played football here, grew up on a field.” she ducked her head and tried to hide. She had told him too much, which was always her problem. She drank and her story came out which she never intended.

“I bet that was great. Stan and I were never close. He paid for hockey and tried to support me but he played football here too.” His tone changed when he talked about Stan. His voice almost sounded sad that Stan and he didn’t have the same attachment that his sister had with him. “Wait who’s your dad?”

This is the point where she usually started hating herself in conversation. Her last name was legend on the campus and he’d know who she was immediately. She couldn’t lie to him though, “My dad was Jeff Donahue.”

His eyes went wide as he turned to look at her. Now her secret was going to be blown. She had worked so hard to keep it from everyone. “I didn’t know you were related to our new kicker.” She sighed, he didn’t know. It was one less worry she’d have to think about right now.

“Yeah I keep to myself, don’t tell many people about it. Girls get worked up guys get scared.” The lie tasted disgusting coming out of her mouth. She wanted to tell him the truth but couldn’t, she hadn’t told many people her secret but it always hurt to hide it. “Don’t tell anyone? It gets awkward after people know.”

He wrapped an arm around her and squeezed. “I won’t as long as you’ll come to a hockey game and not think of me differently.”

“Promise, we better get going if we’re going to make it to the party.” She stood and put her shoes back on. He draped his arm around her in a friendly manner and began walking toward the house. They walked in to find it empty and a sticky note on the fridge. She walked forward and began to read it aloud. “Left for sig, you better not be screwing my brother. See ya soon.”

“Glad to see she hasn’t changed. She swears all of her friends have slept with me.” he chuckled as he grabbed a beer and sprite out of the fridge. “Let’s go”