Living Dead Girl

I slid down against a tree as I cried for the first time since killing John. Memories flooded through my mind and I felt the sadness and self hatred I hid for all these years. Then I could feel the anger and betrayal of what Damon did to me. The regret of killing all those people also joined. It felt like every negative emotion was combining together in my body. I couldn't handle it. I finally had my long awaiting breakdown. That was why I always kept my humanity off, but I wasn't going to give up so easily this time. I had to stay strong for Stefan, just like what he would do for me. Maybe that was their plan all along; to make me be the girl I was before I became a monster. If so, it had worked.

I kept crying nonstop as I relived my entire human and vampire life over and over in my head. The things I've done wasn't me. I did in fact turn into the monster I was supposed to be. I wanted to deny it, but couldn't. A part of me still loved hunting my prey. It's all I've really known. I knew that part of me would never go away since it was pretty much a basic instinct, but what I did to all those innocent people was not right. It had all been a game to me, but now it was over.

The sun went down and I finally got up off the ground. I rubbed at my tear stained face as I began searching for the only thing I wanted. It didn't take long to find a man walking through the forest. I went straight to him and stuck my fangs in his neck without even compelling him first. The sweet substance was laced with vervain, but I didn't care. My promise to Stefan flashed through my mind and I pulled away from the man to see his horror stricken face. I couldn't kill this man. I made a promise to Stefan that I wouldn't kill anymore people. I had to keep my promise.

"Go away!" I hissed at the man. "Run! Get out of here!" I couldn't compel him to erase his memory, so I could only hope nobody believed him. He was, after all, the first person I let ever live.

He began running away from me as I went the opposite direction. I punched a nearby tree knocking it down with my strength. I suddenly became aware of how strong I actually was. I knew I needed Stefan's help. I couldn't control myself very well with all the anger coursing through my veins as if they were on fire. Last thing I wanted to do was break my promise to Stefan. I began my way back to the house.

"Stefan!" I yelled as soon as I entered. I was quickly joined by him, Elena, and some of their friends. A couple of them were human and I was staring right at one's neck. I closed my eyes as I gripped the corner of the wall to concentrate on something else. "Please get them away from me. I have way too many negative feelings going through me and all I want to do is kill," I said as I felt my grip on the wall crack it. My eyes opened as I stared at the cracks and I quickly let go before I managed to somehow destroy the whole house. I kept my fists balled up beside me instead.

"You've already killed..." Stefan said quietly as he motioned to my mouth. I quickly wiped away the blood before shaking my head no.

"No, I stopped myself. I couldn't compel him so he is walking around somewhere." I gave him an apologetic smile.

"What does he look like?" The boy's whose neck I had been staring at asked.

"A guy with bite marks in his neck?! I dunno! I found him in the nearby woods and sent him away!" I growled, glaring at him.

"Bonnie go with Jeremy and find him," Stefan ordered. Jeremy, the boy whose neck looked delicious, and Bonnie, who I assume was his girlfriend, cautiously walked by me to exit the house. With them gone, my lust for blood went down some, but my need to kill was still up.

"What happened, Camille?" Stefan asked when they were gone. Caroline and Elena were still watching me carefully.

"What happened is that I have my humanity on! Over a hundred years worth of anger, regret, sadness, and hatred for what I've done has surfaced. I can't control it, Stefan. Please help me." I had tears in my eyes again.

"Okay," he said as he took a step cautiously towards me. "Why didn't you kill the guy you saw?"

"Because I made a promise to you that I wouldn't kill anyone else while I was here."

"Stefan, I can handle this," Damon said from behind me. "Camille, you need to focus on one emotion only." I turned around to face him. "Concentrate on the anger for me. You hate me because I ruined your life. It's my fault you're a monster. It's my fault that John is dead. All the people you killed is my fault." I could feel only the anger as it began coursing through my veins.

"Damon..." Damon held is hand up to Stefan to silence him.

"I turned you into a vampire and left you. I didn't care to search for you because I didn't care, Camille." He began taking steps towards me. "I bet you would love to kill me for all the things I've done to make your life hell. I betrayed you just because I'm a selfish bastard." I felt all the anger take over my body as my true face showed. I put all my force into the shove I gave Damon before hitting him. He let me hit a few times before he shoved me roughly against the wall. "Let all your anger out, Camille." I didn't how to do this now since he was stronger than me and had my wrists pinned above my head. All he was doing was angering me more.

"Let go of me!" I hissed as I struggled to get free. I could see Stefan watching helplessly.

"I wanted you to kill John," Damon continued as his face was inches from mine. "I didn't want you to be happy. I wanted your life to be an eternal hell. I'm not sorry for anything I've done to you. In fact, I wish you never came here." Damon was smirking as sadness began to overpower the anger I had.

"Damon!" Stefan was pulling him away from me. "We just got her back! Don't push her away." While Stefan was distracting Damon, I quickly shoved him against the wall sticking my hand in his chest with my hand clutching his heart. My actions got a gasp from Caroline and Elena both while Stefan had shock and fear in his eyes.

"Do it," Damon smiled as his gorgeous blues stared down into my darkened orbs.

"Camille, don't do something you will regret. If you kill Damon you lose him forever. Remember that he is still my brother," Stefan tried to reason with me.

"Does he deserve to live, Stefan? After all that he's done?" I asked, not taking my eyes away from Damon's.

"He still deserves a chance to make things right, Camille."

It was silent as they waited for me to make my decision. I narrowed my eyes at Damon before letting go of his heart, pulling my hand out of his chest, and breaking his neck instead. I held a smile as he fell to the floor.

"He deserved it," I shrugged as I turned to face Stefan who let out a sigh of relief since his brother was only temporarily dead.

"He didn't mean anything he said."

"I think he did mean some of it," I muttered before walking past the three.

I went outside and sat on the steps. I knew Damon was trying to help, but he went too far. A part of what he said had to be true just by the way he said it. He didn't like John and probably never did. He didn't want me to be happy with someone else. That part I knew had to be true.

"You had the chance to kill him, so why didn't you take it?" Stefan asked as he joined me outside.

"Because he's your brother, Stefan," I sighed. "And you're my friend. I couldn't exactly kill my friend's brother. Plus I still consider Damon a friend even with everything that's happened. I just don't currently want to be around him."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Better that I broke his neck. I'm glad I didn't just rip his heart out. I would have really regretted that."

"Why is that?" Stefan questioned before taking a seat next to me.

"Because I love and care for you both. You're both the closest people I have left in this world." I glanced over at him and smiled. "I'm also sure you would have hated me if I done so."

"I knew you wouldn't do it," Stefan smirked.

"Oh, yeah? How did you know?" I questioned as I cocked my head to the side.

"Because you have more control over your emotions than you think. You also wouldn't kill the ones you love," Stefan smiled.

"But I did kill someone I loved," I frowned before staring at my hands.

"But that wasn't your fault, Camille. You should know that by now. You need to forgive yourself and let it go." I sighed because I knew Stefan was right.

"Fine, it wasn't my fault and I forgive myself. However, the blame still falls on Damon." Stefan rolled his eyes at me.

"Well, that's a start."

Someone cleared their throat and we both turned to see Elena and Caroline. "Bonnie and Jeremy found the guy. They want to know what they should do with him."

"Tell them to bring him here and we'll wait until the vervain is out of his system before compelling him. We'll tell him that he got lost in the woods and an animal attacked him," Stefan told them.

"Sorry about that once again," I apologized once they went back inside.

"Don't worry about it, Camille. At least you kept your promise and didn't kill him." We both smiled before he nudged my shoulder. "C'mon, you haven't officially met Caroline, Bonnie, or Jeremy yet."

"Are you sure I won't accidentally kill your friends?" I joked as I stood up.

"You won't and even if you tried I would stop you," he smiled. "Besides, Bonnie is a witch so she would stop you herself before you touched her or Jeremy."

"Witch?" I raised a brow since I was pretty impressed.

"Yes, she made your daylight ring after Damon rudely made her do so."

"Guess I should apologize for Damon's rude behavior then," I sighed. "And I will thank her for it since I never asked for one. I didn't even know such a thing existed until he told me. Guess that explains a lot." Funny how none of the Originals mentioned it to me either.

"You don't have to apologize for Damon. Bonnie would have made you a daylight ring anyway since we're friends."

"Anything else I should know?" I asked as we headed inside.

"Jeremy is a vampire hunter." I stopped in my tracks and asked Stefan if he was serious. "More of a former vampire hunter."

"And next you will tell me that you have werewolves as friends!" I said sarcastically and he smiled.

"More of a hybrid," Stefan informed me and I nodded my head as I took this in.

"That's fantastic! What a misfit bunch you guys are!" I exclaimed as we joined Elena and Caroline.

"You seem... happier..." Elena commented.

"For now." I shrugged since I didn't know how long it would take for me to snap again.