Every Time I Leave My Heart Turns Grey

“I can’t believe this is our last day together already.” Rian said with a soft sigh when his boyfriend, Vinny came back to the dining room with two plates of pancakes, placing one in front of Rian and keeping one for himself.

“Yeah, I know. 27 days isn’t long enough.” Vinny replied, sitting in front of the other boy.

Vinny and Rian had met on Internet a couple of months ago and had immediately become really close. After about a week of knowing each other they had become boyfriends and everything was great in their relationship except for one thing, the distance. Rian lived in the United States but Vinny lived in Italy which meant that they were not even on the same continent. But they loved each other and had decided to try it out anyway. Rian had also been saving money as much as possible which had resulted in him being able to go see his boyfriend in Italy for about a month. Today was there last day together though and Rian’s plane was leaving early tomorrow morning.

“So, what would you like to do on your last day here?” Vinny asked.

“Could we go to the beach? It’s beautiful outside today.” Rian replied, looking out of the window.

“Absolutely. Anything you want.” The Italian boy smiled softly.

When they got to the beach, almost no one was there. They laid their towels down and sat there for a while, just enjoying the warmth on their exposed skin and the feeling of the sand under their feet. Rian grabbed Vinny’s hand, intertwining their fingers and when the dark-haired boy looked at him, he just smiled in response.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt better in my whole life.” Vinny said, smiling back at his boyfriend.

“Me neither, you make me feel so fucking happy.” Rian replied, looking at Vinny, his eyes filled with love, quite not sure about how he had been lucky enough for Vinny to love him back.

The two boys spent the rest of the day sitting in the sun or swimming in the sea, forgetting that they’d have to say goodbye the next day and just making sure to have the best time they could while they were still together.

It was almost 8PM when Rian saw the sky starting to change color and he stood there with water up to his knees, eyes open wide, in awe at the sight in front of his eyes.

“Rian? What are you doing?” Vinny asked once he was out of the water, realizing that Rian wasn’t next to him anymore.

“It’s beautiful.” The American boy said, loud enough for Vinny to hear.

“Come on, we can watch it on the beach.” Vinny said, chuckling at the look on his boyfriend’s face when he turned around.

They both got to where they had left their towels and sat on them, Vinny taking an extra one to place around his boyfriend who was shivering slightly. The day had been warm but the temperature had dropped significantly since the end of the afternoon. Rian’s gaze was glued to the sunset as Vinny stole quick glances towards him, amused by the expression on the American boy’s face and amazed by the way he looked in the fading light of the sun.

“This place is amazing. I’ve never seen such a beautiful sight in Baltimore.” Rian whispered softly.

“Me neither.” Vinny whispered back, smiling when the other boy turned to him only just realizing that his gaze had been fixed on him the whole time.

Rian rolled his eyes and playfully shoved Vinny but the blush on his cheeks and the shy smile on his lips gave him away. The Italian boy laughed and hugged Rian from the side, placing a kiss on his rosy cheek.

“I’ll miss that.” Rian sighed sadly, his eyes going back to the sun that had almost completely disappeared.

“Me too. But I’ll come see you during new year. It won’t be as long but at least we’ll see each other.” Vinny said, moving closer to the American boy so that his chest was pressed against Rian’s back his legs on either side of the other boy’s, placing his head on the other boy’s shoulder. “I just need to finish school for now. It’s my last year, we can get through this.”

“Yeah. Can you get my hoodie, it’s cold now.” Rian said, shivering slightly.

Vinny quickly gave him his hoodie and pulled his own over his head, getting back in the same position, both of his arms around Rian’s body to try to keep him warm.

“Do you want to go back?” Vinny asked.

“No. I kinda want to stay here forever. It seems like if we stay on the beach, I won’t have to go back to America.” Rian said, leaning closer into Vinny’s embrace. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to leave me either. But we’ll be able to talk every day and before you know it, it’s gonna be the Christmas vacations and I’ll be with you.” The Italian boy said softly, holding Rian a little tighter.

“Yeah. Can we still stay a little longer though?” Rian said, not wanting to move out of Vinny’s arms.
“Sure. We can stay here all night if you want.”

“I love you so much.” Rian whispered softly. “I don’t wanna fall asleep on the beach though. I don’t wanna fall asleep at all. I wanna spend as much time as possible with you.”

They stayed there for a little longer before deciding to go back to Vinny’s house. When they got there, they got in the Italian boy’s bed and decided to watch a movie to try to stay awake which wasn’t really successful because halfway through the movie, Rian was already asleep. Vinny finished watching it and turned off the TV, laying back down next to Rian and he quickly fell asleep next to the American boy.

The morning came way too fast and, due to how early Rian’s flight was, they didn’t have much time before they had to be at the airport. Leaving Vinny was much harder that Rian had thought it’d be and, even though he didn’t want to show it, it was hard for Vinny to let the other boy go.

“I really don’t want to leave.” Rian mumbled sadly, wiping away the few tears that had escaped his eyes.

“I know. I don’t want you to go either but you have to. We’ll still talk to each other all the time and we’ll be even more happy to see each other next time.” Vinny said, trying to make this easier for both of them.

“Yeah, I guess.” The American boy said, hugging his boyfriend tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too baby. Can you send me a message when you get home? Just to let me know that you’re safe.” Vinny asked.

“Yeah.” The brown-haired boy said, a sob catching in his throat as more tears escaped his eyes.
Vinny pulled away for the hug, wiping that tears from his boyfriend’s cheeks. “Don’t cry, please. It’s gonna be okay.” He said, feeling tears build up in his own eyes.

Rian nodded and the boys shared a last kiss before parting ways, thoughts of the next time they’d see each other in both of their mind.