These Eyes Are Blind

Frank's mind is reeling with the words Gerard just spoke. Did he really mean that, and if so how could he be so sure that Frank falling in love with him would actually happen? Frank wouldn't put money on that happening any time soon and Gerard shouldn't either. Why is it that Frank's stomach is fluttering now? He hopes it’s not because Gerard's arm is around his waist and massaging his hip softly.

"I can walk alone you know," Frank says trying to hide the nervousness in his voice.

"I am well aware of that," Gerard responds nonchalantly.

He knows he's getting to Frank and that's what he's hoping for. Gerard knows it won't be an easy task though. Sure, he is aware that he has an effect on Frank, but the effect isn't long lasting. Frank is fighting it and Gerard is up for the challenge. Gerard pulls a chair out for Frank once they make it to their destination and Frank would roll his eyes if he could.

"We just came from here, Gerard," Frank speaks with an edge to his voice. He doesn't want to sit here again and smell the brewing of coffee for another half hour.

"Correction, you and your friends just came from here."

"The longer it takes you to realize I don't have friends, the longer it'll take you to get on my good side," Frank sits his coffee on the table and smiles to himself from the little accomplishment. Gerard smiles at him too and Frank can almost feel the pride radiating off of Gerard. It would make him feel sick, if this wasn't the boy who dyed his hair just so he could see him.

"And here I was thinking I was already there the first day I met you. I'm going to go get me some coffee."

"Well I figured that much," Frank cuts in.

"I could've wanted something else. You know coffee isn't the only thing this place has."

"I'm blind, not stupid."

"I never implied that, sugar," Gerard says with a smirk and chuckles at the way Frank's face twists. It is an adorable confused expression and Gerard has a feeling he'll be seeing it more often.

"Your coffee," Frank says, trying to rush Gerard off, but that only gets him talking more.

"Right. Do you want anything else to drink or maybe a little snack? Your coffee has to be cold by now."

"Broke," Frank answers bluntly and takes a sip of said coffee that is indeed cool now.

"I remember. That's why I'm offering," Gerard says and sits down across from Frank.

"Why do you insist on buying me things? You shouldn't spoil me," Frank says sarcastically.

"Maybe I want to spoil you."

"Why?" Frank sips his coffee again and then makes a face and pushes it away. Gerard laughs and shakes his head.

"Maybe I believe you deserve it. Maybe I think I should be the one to give that to you. Maybe I want to give you everything you desire; even if it is just a coffee and a comic."

Frank lets out a soft chuckle, so soft you would barely know it happened if you weren't paying attention. Is Gerard serious, and more so, why? Why would Gerard want to pursue the blind boy who can barely make himself a bowl of cereal? What is it that Gerard sees in Frank? Frank wants to know so badly, but for once he doesn't want to ruin things.

Frank made it obvious when they first met that he wants no friends, and he definitely doesn't want a boyfriend. Gerard makes him feel conflicted though. If he doesn't want those things he wouldn't be sitting here fighting off a smile, and he wouldn't be internally speaking to himself about it. Frank needs to get this boy away from him and fast.

"Maybe?" Frank questions.

"Well it's all up to you. You have made it clear how you feel towards me. I'm not going to say 'I want' when I know you don't want that. Less painful when it doesn't go my way knowing I never fully said it. I just hope I can sway you a different way with time," Gerard replies.

“Are you admitting to liking me?” Frank asks, feeling both flattered and revolted at the same time.

“Maybe I am,” Gerard reaches out to touch Frank but Frank recoils quickly. He feels the movement coming before Gerard even attempts it.

"Why me?" Frank blurts out and then gives a shocked expression. He didn't expect himself to actually say that.

"Why not you?"

"Because I'm blind. I can't give you anything," Frank sighs and waves his hands in the air as he begins to talk again. "Let's say this does go somewhere, hypothetically speaking, I can't do anything for you. I can't cook for you. I can't clean for you. I can't even pick out gifts or clothes for you to surprise you with when I'm no longer poor. I can't lay your clothes out for you for work the next day or even wash them. I can't make you a candle lit bath after a hard week at work to soothe. I can't drive you home when you're too tired to drive. I can't tell you how nice you look on a date night. I can't tell you if your hair makes you look stupid or not. I can't give you anything, Gerard. I can't do anything for you."

Frank looks away from Gerard even though he can't see him, he knows his eyes are burning into him. Frank would hate to admit it, but he's on the verge of tears right now. This is getting to him more than he ever thought it would. Maybe it's just an overwhelming feeling of the last week or something.

Frank has never shared the longing to do any of those things for someone. He’s always kept his true feelings inside and locked away. Here is Gerard now, though, making him want to do those things even more, and with him. No matter how much Frank could tell himself he wants nothing to do with Gerard, that isn't true. He knows he's never felt this way with anyone and he knows it's because he likes Gerard more than a person would like their potential friend.

Frank can't understand it. He can't like someone this much after one meeting. He can't get little flutters in his belly whenever he touches him. It isn't possible, is it? Frank can't let Gerard get close to him, he knows that would be wrong. Frank thinks of every wrong scenario late at night which have been keeping him away from the mall. He tries to make Gerard into an enemy just so he won't chance getting himself hurt emotionally.

Frank knows there’s a chance that everything could go perfectly between them, but he doesn't want to take it. He has been toyed with so much throughout his life that getting his heart played with is out of the question. He would never put himself into jeopardy like that. He would only have himself to blame if he let Gerard in and Gerard ended up hurting him. Frank can't be optimistic when it comes to his heart.

Gerard can sense the sadness in Frank even though he’s trying to fight it off. That only makes Gerard want to hold him even more and give him the world. Gerard knows it’s probably stupid to feel this way about someone this quickly, but he can't help it with Frank. Even if Frank only wants to be his friend, or someone whose toes he doesn't want to chop off, he would take that. Gerard is determined to be in Frank's life somehow.

Gerard knows Frank just revealed a big chunk of himself to him and he knows that has to count for something. Frank wants Gerard around, Gerard can just feel it, but Frank has to protect himself; Gerard knows that too. He can't blame him either. Frank has been dealt a shitty hand at life, but that's all the more reason to let Gerard just be there for him. Gerard wants Frank to let him be everything he needs.

Gerard clears his throat, "You can love me and give me happiness. You can put a smile on my face and make me laugh. You're already doing a great job at all of those things. You don't have to do anything for me, because I want to do it all for you. Hypothetically speaking of course."

Frank shakes his head and looks in Gerard's direction again, "Maybe you should get your coffee now."

Gerard sighs and nods although Frank can't see him.

"I saw that," Frank says, proving Gerard wrong.

"What?"

"You nodded at me."

Gerard smiles brightly and nods again, "I did."

"You have to remember I'm the reason you dyed your hair that color," Frank points to himself and then playfully sticks his tongue out at Gerard.

"I'll remember that."

"You'd better, comic boy," Frank smirks.

"So... want anything?"

"Yes. I want you to hurry up and get your coffee so we can get out of here. I'd also take a chocolate chip cookie please."

Gerard laughs and stands up to make his way over to the counter, "Coming right up."

Frank is honestly really happy about the fact that he got a free chocolate chip cookie. For one thing, it’s a damn good cookie, and for another, it was free. Free always tastes so much better.

“You have chocolate on your face,” Gerard says, laughing at Frank.

“Oh no,” Frank says, not caring.

Gerard grabs a napkin from the table, but before he can do anything Frank holds a finger out to him and says, “You touch me, you die.”

“But there’s chocolate on your face.”

“Where?”

“On your chin,” Gerard says and Frank rubs at his chin. Frank assumes he’s gotten it when Gerard doesn’t say anything more on the subject.

A minute later there’s the sound of the coffee shop door opening and then a rumble of voices that Frank is all too familiar with.

“See I told you Gerard would take him to get coffee,” Mikey’s voice says, “where else would a man addicted to coffee take his boyfriend?”

“You are not my boyfriend,” Frank says warningly at Gerard.

“But of course he was in the last place we looked,” Pete says.

“Well yeah, Pete,” Brendon says, “of course he’s in the last place you look. Why would you keep looking once you’ve found him? That is just counterproductive.”

Frank feels someone sitting down next to him, and he’s gotten pretty used to identifying these guys by the way they smell so he knows it’s Pete.

“What up, Frankie, how’s your date?”

“Not a date!” Frank says, a little too loudly.

“Jeez, Gerard,” Mikey starts, “you really need to do a better job at scouting out your dates. Maybe choose someone who’s into you next time.”

“It’s not a date,” Gerard says, because he knows Frank won’t appreciate it if he doesn’t correct Mikey.

“Whatever you say,” Mikey says sitting down, “sure does look like a date.”

“Why? Because we got coffee? I got coffee with you four too, does that mean we were all in a date?”

“No,” Brendon insists, “three or more people makes it more of a gathering. It’s a group of people hanging out. There’s something just so intimate about two people alone in a coffee shop though. Especially when one of you offers to pay for the other because he’s got no money.”

“You paid for my coffee too, Brendon,” Frank says.

“Yeah, but I didn’t buy you any cookies,” Brendon replies.

“It is not a date,” Frank repeats, looking down at the table and feeling Pete staring right at to him.

“Well if it were a date, and I’m not saying it is,” Gerard starts, “then don’t you think it would be extremely unromantic for a bunch of weirdos to crash it right in the middle?”

“Not at all,” Mikey says, “after all, we need to make fun of our friend.”

“Not your friend,” Frank interrupts.

“Who says I was talking to you, Frank?”

“Michael, I am not your friend either,” Gerard says.

“Don’t call me Michael!”

“I’ll call you whatever I like.”

“Ah, but what you like is Frank and that name’s already been taken,” Mikey says dotingly.

Gerard doesn’t deny liking Frank so Frank does it instead, “Gerard doesn’t like me.”

“I think you’re putting words into his mouth. Gerard never said he didn’t like you,” Pete says.

“He doesn’t,” Frank says gritting his teeth.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Mikey teases.

“Ugh, I hate all of you. Someone just drive me home,” Frank pleads.

“Sure,” Mikey says, “Gerard has a car.”

“I do?” Gerard asks like he doesn’t even know himself if that’s true.

“Yes,” Mikey says, “Don’t you remember saving up for four years to buy it?”

“Oh that car.”

“Yeah, that car,” Mikey says, mimicking Gerard.

“You know who else has a car? Brendon,” Frank says.

“Yeah, but it only seats four people. Unfortunately Frank, there’s no room for you,” Brendon says, and Frank’s not sure where he is, or whether he’s sat down, but he sure would like to kick him. Frank also doesn’t know where Patrick is because he hasn’t said anything, but he’s assuming the guy is still there.

“Brendon, you drove me here,” Frank says, “literally. You shoved five of us in your car only two hours ago, why can’t you do that again?”

“I don’t recall that ever happening,” Brendon says plastically, “do you Mikey?”

“What? No, it’s not ringing a bell.”

“You guys are not serious are you?”

“Frank, are you sure you’re feeling okay,” Pete asks, “Because I am certain that that never happened. There were only four of us in the car.”

“Well then how come there’s five of us here right now?” Frank asks.

“Oh, Frank,” Brendon says, “you silly goose. You’re just playing around with us, aren’t you? You know there were only four of us.”

“I cannot believe you guys,” Frank says. “Patrick, please, for the love of god, Patrick, tell them that we all came here in one car.”

“Uh,” Patrick stutters before saying, “I don’t, uh, remember.”

Frank groans, “I fucking hate you. Especially you Mikey.”

“Same,” Gerard says, though mostly he’s just mad that Mikey interrupted his ‘not a date’ date with Frank.

“So, you’re not going to drive me then, Brendon?” Frank asks.

“I told you, there’s no room.”

Mikey makes a generic gasp and says, “Hey, I have an idea. Gerard has a car! Frank, maybe he could drive you home.”

“Oh really?” Frank asks.

“I would be happy to drive you home, Frankie,” Gerard says.

“I’m sure you would,” Frank grumbles, “Patrick, are you sure you don’t remember how many people there were in Brendon’s car?”

“No I don’t remember at all,” Patrick replies.

“Patrick, I am disappointed in you,” Frank says, shaking his head.

“You wanted me to make friends,” Patrick says in a quiet voice.

Mikey chuckles, “Well it’s a good thing Gerard likes you, Frank. He probably wouldn’t even drive me home if I asked him too.”

“You have two legs, you could walk home,” Gerard says.

“I have two legs!” Frank says.

“Frank,” Pete says, looking at him narrowly, but it’s not like Frank can exactly tell.

"That is indeed my name," Frank says.

"You're riding with Gerard and that's it. Let's go boys before he persuades Patrick to take his side."

"So I can persuade you?" Frank asks hopefully.

"See ya, Frankie," Patrick replies and shuffles out of the coffee shop quickly.

"He's learning so well don't you think, Frankie?" Mikey asks and pats Frank on his shoulder. Frank pushes Mikey's hand off his shoulder and Mikey just laughs. "See you at home, bro."

Gerard nods at Mikey and then waves by to Brendon, "See you guys. I'm staying over so I'll definitely see you Gee. Later."

"Just what I need!" Gerard sighs and watches as they giggle and rush out of the shop. "They're going to tease me about you all night."

"I guess you better lock yourself away then."

"You have clearly never been to my house. They are worse than rodents. They don't stay away."

"I'm sorry," Frank says with a voice that proves otherwise. "So are you going to force me into your car now or later?"

"I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want, Frank, but I will follow you home if you decide that you want to walk," Gerard says with a smile.

Frank groans and drops his head on the table. Gerard is too busy trying to ignore the noise Frank made to even realize that he's not talking to him. Gerard instantly feels like a pervert. He completely blanks out on the world for a moment and when he comes to, Frank is looking at him like he’s an idiot.

"Helloooooo?" Frank shakes his hand in front of Gerard's face and sits up completely. "Did you hear me or do you have dye stuck in your ears?"

Frank giggles at his own joke and Gerard just stares at him, "What did you say?"

"I said I think it's time we get out of here. I have so much to do when I get home," Frank lies.

"Excuse me if this comes off a little insensitive, but what could you possibly have to do when you get home? You said it yourself, you can't do anything," Gerard nibbles on his lip nervously when he sees the look on Frank's face.

"That's not going to get you into my pants," Frank says and stands up, scraping his chair back loudly. "You're an ass."

"I was just repeating what you said, Frankie."

"It's fine for me to say that, you don't get the right," Frank points at Gerard and goes to head out of the shop. If this was anyone else, Frank wouldn't even give a shit, but Gerard said that after he bared so much to him. That hurt him a little. This is exactly why Frank isn't giving Gerard the time of day.

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry Frank," Gerard says almost pleadingly. He stands up and grabs Frank's arm. "Hey, look, I'll do whatever you want to make it up to you. Please just don't be upset with me. I didn't mean it like that."

"Anything?" Frank says teasingly.

"Anything Frank."

"I want coffee on you every time I see you. If I see you," Frank turns back to Gerard and walks over to the table. He's reminded of Gerard's hair when he says the word 'see'. He sits down at the table again, and makes out Gerard’s form in front of him. He reaches out and touches Gerard's hair and makes a face.

"Your hair texture feels different, obviously it must be from the dye."

"Yeah, it's going to take a few days to set in, and I have to get my special shampoo for it."

"Make sure you do that as soon as possible. I like the way your hair felt before," Frank continues to fuck with Gerard's hair. Gerard allows it because he likes the feeling of Frank carelessly playing with his hair.

"So do we have a deal?" Frank asks while looking in the direction he knows Gerard's eyes are, knowledge he learned from the first time he touched his face.

Gerard is fighting the urge to pull Frank into a hug and just keep him there forever. Instead he nods slowly and smiles a tiny smile, "Anything for you."

Frank swallows and then clears his throat. He stands up and nods towards the exit. Gerard takes the hint and stands up, he gets rid of their trash, and then starts out the door with Frank closely behind him.

In no time they’re in Gerard's car, and Gerard is starting it up so he can turn on the heat for Frank. He can tell the boy is a little colder than he let on and he faintly wonders if he has something wrong with him.

"Are you okay?" Gerard asks.

"Hm? Yes. Why do you ask?"

"You just seem unhappy to be in the cold."

"I'm sure your brother and Brendon will tell you all about it when you get home," Frank answers coldly, figuratively as well as literally.

"Did something happen to you, Frank? I could handle it for you if you need me to."

"I don't need you to do anything for me Gerard. I am a big boy. I can handle myself."

"Right. I understand all of that hoopla you keep going on about, but you could accept help from other's occasionally," Gerard says.

"Everyone wants to help me. Tell me Gerard, what would you have done? Are you going to be my knight in shining armor? Keep me safe from all harm?"

"No, but I could hurt anyone who hurts you," Gerard states.

"Right, because violence is always the answer. Besides, Gerard, we are nothing to each other."

"I may be nothing to you, but you aren't nothing to me. I don't waste my money on nothing and I damn sure don't let nothing into my car."

Frank is quiet for a moment before saying, "Can you just take me home?"

"It'll be my pleasure Frank. I told you, anything you want," Gerard notices Frank hasn't put on his seat belt, so he takes it upon himself to lean over Frank and cause the boy a mini heart attack.

"What are you doing?" Frank asks in a panicked tone.

"Your safety is in my hands," Gerard replies so close to Frank's ear he can feel his ear melt. He silently screams for Gerard to hurry up with the damn belt so he can stop invading Frank’s personal space, and give him back the ability to breathe.

Gerard moves back a little as he pulls the strap across Frank's body and snaps it into place, "There you go, Frankie. Safe and secure. Let's get you home."

Gerard backs away and puts on his own seat belt before shifting into gear and pulling out. Suddenly Frank doesn't feel so safe. He can't trust himself to keep up with his plan of not letting Gerard get to him.

During the whole ride Frank has to endure Gerard singing along to the tunes coming from his radio. Normally Frank wouldn't complain about that, he likes hearing people make fools of themselves. This time is completely different. Gerard can sing, and not just karaoke sing, but can ‘take over the world’ sing. Frank is stumped to say the absolute least.

When they come to a stop and Gerard turns the car off, Frank has never tried to escape so fast in his life. He trips himself up though, forgetting about the seat belt, and causing an embarrassing scene that he does not want to deal with. He reaches for the clasp and frees himself from the confinement that is Gerard's car. He closes the door quickly and tries to scurry off. When he hears Gerard's door close too he curses himself.

"Hey, you don't have to walk me to my door."

"Stop being silly, of course I do," Gerard replies.

"Gerard, you don't have any obligations to me. Cut it the hell out."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Gerard wraps his arm around Frank's waist, like he's so familiar with doing now, and guides him towards his door.

"Gerard please just go! I have this. I walk this path every day! There's nothing that can happen to me. My mother has made sure of that. See all of that snow and ice?"

Gerard looks around with a raised eyebrow and confused look on his face, "No."

"Exactly. I'm safe, now go."

"I will go if you promise me something."

Frank sighs and whines a little, "What is it, Gerard?"

"Promise me you'll see me again. Not because anyone forces you to, but because you want to. Also, only promise me if you truly mean it, not because I'm sort of forcing you right now. You can say no," Gerard says, and Frank detects the underlying sadness in his voice.

For some reason he can't hurt Gerard's feelings. He almost felt like shit when he did that earlier. He also wouldn't deny him because he knows deep down inside that he really wants to hang with Gerard again. The boy dyed his hair for him for Christ’s sake.

"Okay comic boy. It's the least I could do since I made your hair all brittle and stuff."

Frank can hear the smile in Gerard’s voice when he responds, “okay good. That’s good. Maybe I can read you some Daredevil next time.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Frank says, pawing at the key hole on the lock so that he can escape Gerard. He’s not sure if ‘escape’ is really the right word. All he knows for sure is that Gerard makes him feel kind of tingly and that it’s a really nice feeling, which is why he must run the fuck away from it and never look back. Ever.

“I hope you have a good rest of the day, Frankie,” Gerard says, walking slowly away from the door so that Frank doesn’t yell at him for coming too close.

“Just, ugh, one last thing, Gerard,” Frank says.

Gerard grins and turns to look at Frank, “yes?”

“Why do you keep calling me ‘Frankie’?”

Gerard shrugs, which Frank can’t see obviously, and says, “Well the other guys were calling you Frankie too.”

“Not until they heard you call me that.”

“Well I just think ‘Frankie’ suits you better. Is that all, Frankie?”

Frank is going to say something else, but then he decides against it and huffs. He turns the door knob and tries to block out Gerard saying bye to him. Frank doesn’t return the farewell, which is a little rude, but he doesn’t want Gerard getting any ideas.

Frank closes the door behind him, and his beating heart feels like he’s in a horror movie. It feels like he just slammed the door shut on someone chasing him. Except his heart isn’t racing because he’s scared, it’s a different feeling, one Frank’s not familiar with.

“Who was that?” a voice says, making Frank actually scared for a moment until he realizes it’s his mom. That’s almost scarier though if he’s being truthful.

“What?”

“Don’t play that game with me, Frank,” his mother says, “You knew I’d be waiting for you.”

“Yeah, I did,” Frank says, stepping into the room, and shrugging off his jacket.

“So who was that? You told me you were going to the mall with Brendon and Mikey. Neither of those boys were with you just now.”

“That was Mikey’s brother,” Frank says, feeling like he’s being interrogated.

“Whose name is?”

“Gerard.”

“And how old is Gerard?” His mother asks, and Frank huffs.

“I don’t know, like twenty? Twenty one?” Frank replies, “I didn’t ask, because I don’t care.”

“Conveniently old enough to buy alcohol,” his mother says and Frank’s whole body is screaming to roll his eyes, but he just shakes his head.

“You worry too much,” Frank says, walking into the house and trying to find his way to the kitchen, but there are boxes booby trapping the entire trek.

“So where were your friends then?” his mother grills, following Frank.

“They ditched me because apparently, it’s fun to leave me alone with Gerard. They probably would have driven me home if I’d fought harder on the debate, but I didn’t want to lose that much of my pride.”

“So-”

“Before you ask me anything more,” Frank interrupts, “the guy means nothing to me. He just likes to, I don’t know, follow me around and make sure I’m not about to walk off a cliff or something. He’s overbearing, just like you.”

“Are you sure he means nothing?”

Frank groans, “Yes, I am sure. Why do you ask?”

“Well he was a handsome young man, and he looked somewhat... infatuated with you,” his mother replies.

Frank turns a shade of red, and tries to disguise it by coughing slightly, which makes it all the more noticeable and stale looking. His mother isn’t fooled by the act at all, but she doesn’t say anything, because if Frank gets any redder he’ll turn into a tomato.

“He’s just like that,” Frank says, brushing her off and making his way over to his room.

“Whatever you say, Frank,” his mother calls behind him, “are you ready for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry,” Frank replies and shuffles over to his room where he then collapses onto his bed. He makes a combination between a squeal and giggling sound when he hits the mattress, and he’s not sure why. Today definitely did not go the way he’d anticipated.